• Published 8th Apr 2018
  • 1,146 Views, 48 Comments

Nightmare Moon is Coming to Town! - Jade Dawn

A certain mare of darkness invades a small town in New Jersey. Chaos and a general feeling of "What on Earth is going on?" ensues.

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BONUS CHAPTER: Interviewing a Nightmare

Nightmare Moon is Coming to Town!

A “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” Fanfiction

Written by Jade Dawn

“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” is owned by Hasbro. I own none of the characters or locations except the ones I have made for this story.

When most people thought about Area 51, they imagined a labyrinth of dark, dirty, underground tunnels leading to top-secret government labs filled with genetic experiments, toxic chemicals, and captured alien lifeforms.

FBI agent Kyle Rodgers knew better. The facility's walls were actually quite clean and bright. And of course, most of the public's ideas about what went on in this place were just figments of skeptical imaginations. Most of the research involved prototype planes and missiles. There were some chemical experiments, though, so at least they got that right. And there were certainly no aliens being held captive in any of the laboratories.

At least, not until two months ago.

Rodgers turned a corner in the hallway as he navigated the lower levels of Area 51's research complex. These levels were typically used for storing the most closely-guarded secrets. But now, a select few of those storage rooms had been reassigned, extensively modified to contain and support a single living occupant.

Nightmare Moon.

Rodgers shook his head as he remembered that day when the strange being had crash-landed in the cozy little town of Perkinsville, New Jersey. Almost immediately, she had announced her intentions to conquer the world, with herself as supreme leader. She had actually managed to defeat local law enforcement before being taken out by a sneak attack by two boys with baseball bats. They had managed to knock her out long enough for the U.S. Government to swoop in and contain her.

Rodgers had been off duty that day, watching a baseball game with his wife and two children at their home in Chicago when the news came in. The whole incident had occupied the airwaves for weeks afterwards, even when the villainous creature had long since been captured.

Rodgers snapped himself out of his inner thoughts as he arrived at his destination, at the end of one of the many labyrinthine corridors. At the end was a large, heavy metal door guarded by all manner of locking mechanisms. A guard sat in a glass booth off to the side. Rodgers could see that he was reading a sports magazine. He went up to the booth and tapped on the glass.

The guard put down his magazine and sat up. His name-tag identified him as Craig. "Can I help you, sir?" he asked politely.

Rodgers slipped some papers to Craig through a slot in the glass. "Kyle Rodgers. FBI. I'm here to interview Nightmare Moon."

Craig looked over the papers, and then looked down at a calendar on his desk. "Oh, yes. Here you are. All checks out." He handed the papers back to Rodgers, along with a small radio. "If you need to get out for any reason, just give me a call. I'll be right here waiting."

Rodgers took the papers and the radio, and put them in his pockets. As he stood in front of the door, he heard Craig say, "Good luck getting a word out of her."

"She been giving you the silent treatment?"

Craig nodded. "Big time. Never says anything. She goes through her full routine without giving me or the others so much as a word. Gives us a glance now and then, but that's it." He shook his head. "It's really creepy."

Rodgers smiled a little. "Well, I'll be careful."

Craig positioned his hand over a pair of buttons on an adjacent console. One was marked Exterior Door, while the other was labelled Interior Door. "You ready?"

Rodgers nodded. "Open it up."

Craig hit the first button. The door slid downwards with a whirring of servos. Five feet ahead was an identical door. Rodgers stepped into the space, and shortly after heard the first door shut behind him.

He took a deep breath. In the split-second before the second door opened, he reached up and tapped the badge on his jacket, activating the recording device beneath the fabric.

As the door lifted up, he briefly observed the room ahead. It was a clean, white-polished room. Two doors led off to either side, one labelled Sleeping Quarters, the other Gymnasium. There were tiny black half-spheres embedded in each corner of the ceiling. Rodgers knew these to be part of the tracking system. A tiny implant was embedded in the cell's sole occupant, and was designed to set off an alarm if she moved out of range of the trackers, which covered the cell, the sleeping quarters, and the gym.

In the center of the room was a table. Directly ahead of Rodgers was an empty chair.

Nightmare Moon was on the other side of the table, sitting in a chair facing him. She was just as how he remembered seeing her in the footage. A tall, black, horse-like creature, with a purple-blue mane and tail that seemed to flow on their own in the windless confines of the cell. Her eyes were turquoise in color, with slitted, catlike pupils that gave off a distinctively catlike impression. A long horn rose from her forehead, and her large, eagle-like wings were folded against her side. The silver armor she had been known to wear was completely absent.

She didn't say anything, made no movements whatsoever. She just stared at him with those cold, predator eyes.

A small, ever-so-slight shudder went through Rodgers, but he managed to hide it. He was all to aware of the havoc that this creature could rain down upon human society; the havoc that she had already caused.

But she can't do anything right now, he assured himself. She's restrained.

And it was true. Nightmare's forelegs were anchored to the table's surface by a pair of clamps around her hooves, and her wings were fastened to her sides by a similar device. A small pack of blue tranquilizer fluid was strapped to her back, and a thin tube snake up toward her forehead, disappearing into the base of her horn. The scientists at the facility had decided this was the best way that they could suppress her energy projection, or "magic", as she liked to call it. And it seemed to have worked thus far.

Rodgers stepped inside. He heard the door slide shut behind him, heard the click as the locking systems were engaged.

As he walked toward the table, he pointed up at his badge. "Kyle Rodgers. FBI."

Nightmare Moon nodded. Her voice sounded weary, exhausted...defeated, perhaps. "The guards told me you'd come."

"Did they?" Rodgers asked as he took a seat, folding his hands on the table.

"Mm-hmm. Of course, they didn't mention you by name, but they did say that your government was sending someone to...interrogate me."

"I like to think of this as more of an interview," Rodgers replied. "We just want to know a little bit more about you, that's all."

"But of course. You're kind has subdued an incredibly powerful invader, and now you want to know what she's capable of. I understand."

"Actually, we were thinking more along the lines of things like who you are, or where'd you come from. That kind of thing."

Nightmare Moon shrugged. "It's about the same."

Well, at least she isn't refusing to talk, Rodgers thought. He cleared his throat. "So...first of all...and I know this is going to sound rather stupid, but...how have you been doing in here? I mean, you're being fed enough, getting enough exercise?"

Nightmare Moon smiled a little. "You seem oddly concerned with the well-being of a prisoner who tried to conquer your world. Why is that?"

"Look, we have our flaws, but humans aren't completely heartless. Most of us do care."

"Oh, I know," Nightmare answered. "You could have killed me back in Perkinsville, but instead you let me live." She gave a small chuckle. "Of course, that could just be a case of insatiable curiosity."

Rodgers shrugged. "Can't deny that. And what about your head? Those two kids didn't cause too much damage when they knocked you out, did they?"

"Are you referring to Matthew and Anthony?"

Rodgers blinked. "You remember their names?"

"Why shouldn't I? They were the first humans I ever met. And besides," At this point, her voice took on a slight note of hidden irritation. "I'm not exactly one to forget the identities of those who humiliate me in front of an entire world's populace."

"I suppose I understand. And, uh..." He pointed at her horn, and the anesthetic tube running into its base. "You haven't been feeling light-headed as a result of our..." He paused, trying to choose his words carefully. "...security measures?"

Nightmare cast a glance up at her horn. "The numbness took a little while to get used to. It still annoys me from time to time. You must understand, for a being like me, not being able to use my magic is like one of you losing your hands. The sensation is thoroughly crippling. And, of course..." She looked down at her shackled hooves. "It is rather uncomfortable, being held prisoner like this." She gave him a wry smile. "Although, you'd probably say that the fault is all mine."

"Something like that. Now that we've dispensed with the pleasantries, shall we begin?"

Nightmare gave him another smirk. "It isn't really my call, is it now?"

"I'll take that as a yes. So...first question: where do you come from?"

Nightmare Moon looked thoughtful for a moment. "My kind has never really given our homeworld a formal name," she said. "At least none that I can remember. But the land from which I come from is called Equestria. Actually, my world is rather similar to yours. The air, the flora, even down to having one moon. It's almost startlingly similar." She paused. "Am I going to fast for your liking?"

"No, no," Rodgers replied. "Are there any more like you? With your kind of power?"

"Well...yes and no," Nightmare continued. "There are lots of us back home. Ponies, we're called. There are three major races, or tribes as we call them: earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. Each fits into a particular niche in our society. Earth ponies tend towards agriculture. Pegasi have wings, and control the weather. And unicorns have horns, and wield magic."

On any day prior, Rodgers would have found the idea of flying horses and magical unicorns living on another planet to be totally laughable. Anyone else would have. But of course, Nightmare Moon's very presence had all but confirmed that such things existed, and so he didn't bother to question the validity of her claims.

It still sounded kinda weird. But he bought it anyway. The evidence was right in front of him, after all.

"I see..." he said slowly.

Nightmare Moon raised an eyebrow. "You don't believe me?"

Rodgers shook his head. "Of course I do. How could I not? I mean, we have a living example of a...uh..." He paused. Nightmare had mentioned wings and horns for pegasi and unicorns, but she had both. "Which one are you, exactly?"

Nightmare Moon chuckled a little. "I figured you'd ask that. You see I am...not quite like other ponies. I am what is known as an alicorn. Essentially, my type carries the traits of all three tribes, and then some. We're an elite breed. As far as I know, there are only two of us; myself and my...my sister." Her voice took on an edge of bitterness as she uttered that last word.

The mention of a sibling took Rodgers a little by surprise. "You have a sister?"

"Yes," Nightmare affirmed. "Celestia." She spat the name as though it were a curse.

For a moment, Rodgers wasn't sure where to go from there. This Celestia was obviously a raw nerve in Nightmare Moon's mind, and he didn't want to risk getting her riled up. But he had his orders; any useful information about her, he would find out.

And so, trying to phrase the question as cautiously and non-threateningly as possible, he asked, "Could you...tell me a little more about her?"

Nightmare Moon looked away. "I would rather not discuss it."

Rodgers sighed. "Nightmare, look. I've been sent here to learn as much as I can about you. So that we, as a species, can learn about you. And if something about your past life or your family or whatever may be useful in attaining that goal, then I need to hear it."

Nightmare gave him a glare. "And if I continue to refuse? Would your superiors have me tortured it?"

"I don't know. Probably not. They may not even care. But even so, I think it would be best if we at least hear something about it."



Nightmare made no reply. She just cast her gaze down at the floor.

Rodgers sighed. This was a mistake, he told himself. He shouldn't have gone and pushed her like that. Now any sense of ease she might have built up talking with him was–

"How hard would it have been?"

Rodgers looked up. "Huh?"

"For them to look up at night." Her voice now carried a twinge of sadness that nobody on Earth had ever heard from her lips before. "The ponies, they...they were always so fond of her...of her day...none of them stopped to admire what I had to offer; the Moon, the stars...I put in so much time making the night as beautiful as I could...and they all just wrote me off...like I was nothing."

It was at that moment that Rodgers noticed her eyes were tearing up slightly, and he was a little taken aback by that. Of all the things he had expected to see or hear from Nightmare Moon, he never expected to see her weep, even if only slightly.

But then the moment passed, and whatever sorrow the alicorn had shown quickly dissipated, soon to be replaced by her usual, cold attitude.

"So...I decided to make them see," she said. "One night, I just decided not to lower the Moon. It was as simple as that, really. And I decided that I would keep things that way until they saw how wonderful it all was. How wonderful I really was. And I went from the pathetic, pony-pleasing princess that I was to..." she looked down at herself. "...this."

"You...you froze the moon?" Rodgers asked. Good Lord, just how powerful is this thing? he thought.

Nightmare nodded. "She wouldn't have it, though. She told me that I had to lower the Moon. That it was my duty." She chuckled wryly. "As if my duty was nothing more than to be ignored and shunned. We fought. And..." She trailed off.

At this point, it was pretty easy for Rodgers to figure out what had happened. "You lost?"

A small nod from Nightmare Moon. "She banished me. Banished me from Equestria. And she trapped me in the Moon...the very object of my control." Another chuckle. "I've always thought there was a sort of cruel irony in that. Don't you think so?"

Rodgers made no reply.

"I waited. For a thousand years, I waited. Waited for the day when my salvation would come, when the stars would finally be right for my escape. And when they did, and shattered the barrier that held me, I leapt forth...and overshot completely." She slumped down into her chair. "All those years of waiting, dreaming of revenge...only to land on the wrong planet." She cast a glance up at him. "The rest you know. I figured that at least I could rule over this world and start anew. I made an advance upon the town I crashed in...and was defeated by those two children."

Rodgers let her tale sink in. And as he gazed at her, this strange being who had come from the stars to conquer human civilization, who might once have been a legitimately nice person before jealousy sank in, he found himself feeling a little sorry for her.

Nightmare's gaze fell on him again. "Why do you stare at me like that?"

Rodgers shook himself out of his thoughts. Did I really just show that somehow? "Stare at you like what?"

"Like that. Like you–" Nightmare stopped as the realization entered her mind. "You pity me," she said, almost incredulously. "You actually feel sorry for me. Is this why your government let me live? Because they felt bad for me?"

"Now, hold on," Rodgers said. "Nobody said anything about pity. I assure you, my government doesn't have such sentiments towards you."

"Maybe they don't." Nightmare replied. "But you do. It's written in your eyes, in the way you look at me. Trust me; when you've lived for as long as I have, you tend to pick up on subtle inklings of feelings like that." She leaned forward, her voice taking on a dangerous-sounding tone. "You wouldn't feel as such if you knew what I was truly capable of; what I can do when I am not given the respect that I have been deprived of all my life. Like right now, for instance. What your kind saw in Perkinsville is just the faintest zephyr of the powers I posses. If I wanted to, I could destroy this whole base with nothing more than a thought."

"Probably," Rodgers replied, trying to sound unfazed by her threat. "But might I remind you that you're still in our custody? We're not just going to let you wreak havoc on our country, let alone our planet. As of right now, you're under our control."

Nightmare Moon looked Rodgers right in the eyes, smiled, and said, "Oh, am I now?"

Rodgers felt a chill go down his spine.

Nightmare's horn suddenly ignited into a dark blue glow. The IV tube at the base of her horn was pulled away by an invisible force, and dropped to the ground.

Rodgers jumped out of his chair. Oh, good Lord!, he thought in terror. He backed away from the table and reached for his pocket to pull out the radio, but his limbs were suddenly frozen, unable to move. He felt a soft heat against his body. With what little mobility he still retained, he looked down and saw that he was enveloped in the same magical aura that emitted from Nightmare's horn. He opened his mouth, hoping to call out to Craig, to somebody, but then the warmth of the aura was there too, clenching his jaws shut.

"Just give me a moment," Nightmare said. As she almost absent-mindedly held Rodgers in place, she used her magic to unstrap the tranquilizer pack, letting it slip from her midsection, before undoing the clamps on her hooves and wings and sliding them free. She gave each hoof small shake before setting them down on the ground and standing up, stretching her wings out as she did so.

"Much better," she said contentedly. She looked back up at Rodgers, still hovering motionless in her telekinetic grasp. She took a moment to soak in the terrified expression on his face, the slight movements of his mouth muscles struggling to open to utter a cry for help, the sweat glistening in the harsh white light of the cell.

She loved it.

Nightmare gave a small chuckle, and came around the table to face Rodgers. "You know, when I first realized that the anesthetics were your scientists' idea to contain me, I almost burst out laughing. To think that something as simple as a drug could even begin to slow me down...to be honest, it was rather pathetic." She began to circle Rodgers, turning him around in her magic so she could keep eye contact with him. Nightmare gazed into his eyes with the same look that a cat might give to a mouse that it has decided to play with for a while before finally killing.

"And yet," Nightmare continued. "I actually found it rather amusing as well; seeing you humans believing your little lie of absolute control over me. So, I thought I'd humor you for a while. Feign defeat, submission, all of that. But only so I could see the looks on your faces when you realize that you can't contain me. That you could never contain me. That no matter what you try, from now on, I am the superior being on this planet." She stopped spinning Rodgers around and drew him close so that their noses were almost touching, and her blue, dragon-esque eyes filled his vision.. "And so far," she purred. "I am thoroughly enjoying the results."

Rodgers struggled to say something, but his mouth was still restrained by Nightmare's grip.

"Don't tell me. Let me guess: you have a wife and a couple of wonderful children who would be absolutely devastated if their dear old father didn't come home tonight," she said in a mocking tone of voice. "And with anyone else in this cursed facility of yours, they'd be right to fear for your life. But you know what? I think I'm going to let you live."

A flicker of hope sprung up within Rodgers. Really? he thought.

It must've shown on his face, because Nightmare's serious expression made a return. "Don't think of it as a kindness. It's just how I do things. You may find it hard to believe, but I am a firm believer in the policy of 'don't shoot the messenger'. You didn't really do anything to me, other than ask me some...sensitive questions. The others who work here, though...the ones who imprisoned me..." That devilish grin that she had been using so much within the last minute reappeared. "...well, suffice it to say I cannot exactly guarantee their existence beyond the next hour or so."

Rodgers shivered, and Nightmare smiled in amusement.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Mr. Rodgers, I should probably be on my way." Abruptly, she put a hoof against his body, and patted him down. Finally, she found the radio in his pocket, and pulled it out.

"There's just one small thing I'd like you to help me with."

Craig was still sitting in the guard booth, nonchalantly reading a sports magazine, when the radio on his desk crackled with static.

He reached over and flicked a switch. "Mr. Rodgers? You need anything?" he asked.

"Yes," said Rodgers' voice. "We're done here. I'm heading on out now. Could you open the door?"

"Sure. Just give me a sec." He rolled his chair back over to the door controls, and hit the button to open the inside door. A little green light went on on the console, signaling that Rodgers was safely between the two doors. He shut the first door, and then opened the second one. Shortly after, he heard footsteps coming out of the door and into the corridor. He got up and stepped out of the booth to talk with Rodgers.

"So, how did it go with–" Craig suddenly froze mid-sentence.

Nightmare Moon was standing there before him, a cruel smile plastered on her face. Mr. Rodgers hovered in an aura of blue magic beside her, his eyes glowing in the same color. In one hand he held his radio. His body hung limply in the air, and he looked like he was in some kind of trance.

"Oh, snap!" Craig cried as he frantically reaching for his sidearm. Nightmare Moon was faster, though, and she'd grabbed him in her magic before he could pull out his weapon, and she rammed him up into the ceiling of a booth. There was a sudden cracking noise–either from the ceiling or Craig's skull, Nightmare didn't know, and she honestly didn't care–and Craig went limp. The blue aura around his body disappeared, and his senseless form fell to the floor with a thud.

Nightmare smiled at her work, then turned to Rodgers. "Thank you for your assistance," she said to the unconscious man floating in her grasp. She released him from her magic, his eyes losing the glow as she did so, and he slipped to the ground in a heap.

She took a moment to observe his limp body. True to her word, she hadn't hurt him. At least, not really. All it took was a simple voice-throwing spell, and that foolish guard had opened the door right up for her. And even before that, it took no more than a thought to crush the tiny tracking implant that they had placed under her skin. She could now move about as she pleased without being detected by those electronic tracking systems of theirs.

Piece of cake.

She stepped over Rodgers and Craig's bodies (she noticed a small trickle of red beneath Craig's head, but paid it no mind), and began to make her way through the corridors of Area 51.

Nightmare Moon smiled to herself. They never had a chance to call for help. Really, it was almost too easy to escape. It would probably be hours before anyone realized that she had broken free, and it would take even longer to find her. Soon, she would be long gone, flying over the deserts of Nevada, ready to resume her conquest of Earth.

But before that, she thought. I should pay a visit to Anthony and Matt. I think they should receive some...retribution for how they humiliated me.

As she continued through the halls towards the surface, towards her freedom and her dark glory, she began to think of all the wonderfully painful things she was going to do to those two meddling kids...

Author's Note:

Bet none of you saw this coming, now did you?

To be honest, I'm not sure where I got the idea to do this. I guess I got to wondering what happened after Anthony and Matt KO'd Nightmare back in Perkinsville. I had made a passing reference to her being taken away by government officials, and I decided to expand on that a little.

That, and I wanted to see if I could land some more comments/likes by posting a new chapter.

I don't know if I'll ever write a follow-up. If it gets enough good reviews, I might. But until then, I want to see if I can work on some other projects.

See you around! :)

*By the way, I know probably no one will care, but I like to think that Craig survived. He got a nasty head injury, but I imagine he'll recover. I still want to keep this story kind of light-hearted, and I imagine that having somebody die wouldn't really support that.

Comments ( 31 )

5 seconds later an onsite nuclear weapon detonated and she died

the end


5 seconds after she arrived on the surface she got bombed

the end

this would really make a good story, id read it.

Well, this is a downer ending if I ever saw one.

And yet, you managed to portray the disparity of power between an alicorn and human successfully. It sucks that this world's humans were permeable to magic unlike other stories, right?:pinkiecrazy:

I'll keep track of this in case you decide to show an epilogue or another chapter.

Well, what exactly do you mean by "permeable to magic"? Are there other stories where humans can resist it?

It varies, depending on plot convenience.

On some, humans are totally immune - which means that magic cannot touch them, either by 'slipping' or by simply being absorbed.

This second option leads to the second one - where the human begins by being immune, but the longer they stay in the magical environment, the more magic seeps through them, leading to eventual adaptation to the environment.

This can also be used as magic poisoning the human, like it was used in one story I know of - or magic changing permanently the human due to magic being innerently bonded with life and harmony. This ends up usually by the human being forcefully transformed by the environment's magic. This one happened in another story.

Of course, there are also the ones - the rarest, of course - where the human isn't harmed by the magic in the ambient, but in return is hypersensitive to spells that can cause harm to him, even the most innocuous ones.

Plot convenience is bullcrap. Give me a week and I'll write a paper on what makes the most sense.

My usual preferences are these: Either magic is poisonous - like radiation, due to our physiology not being adapted to that energy, or we're immune, because of said out-of-context development as a species, with probable absorption of said energy with unknown results. (A. Poisoning, B. Humans develop magic-are permeable to effects from spells yet cannot cast them, C. Humans eventually harness magic, unicorn style (fat chance)).

And by plot convenience, I meant 'what the author chooses, that he thinks will work for his story in the long-term'.

Of course, I'd be interested in reading your thoughts into the matter.

Also, it depends on what makes 'magic'. Is it Spiritual in nature, as in bonded to both Lifeforce and/or Soul? Is it a force like radiation? Is it alive in the sense of Magic being sourced from a planetary consciousness, which the natives can harness both unconsciously and at will?

Honestly that ending warrants the dark tag.

If it's in regards to what happened to the guard, I threw in a small addition to the Author's Notes section about that to alleviate concerns people might have. :)

I understood, I just wish we had a Hasbro canon. But we don't.
Also, I'm going with the "fifth FI" theory.

You make me want to write human fics, Jade, with your stories! Mine, though, would be set in London or somewhere in the UK. Preferably a transformation fic.


Glad you got around to reading this. To be honest, I'm not one hundred percent proud of this one. It was one of my earlier stories, and I still think I oughta go back and do some more work on the concept some time.

Well this just happened. :pinkiecrazy:

Rodgers shook his head as he remembered that day when the strange being had crash-landed in the cozy little town of Perkinsville, New Jersey. Almost immediately, she had announced her intentions to conquer the world, with herself as supreme leader. She had actually managed to defeat local law enforcement before being taken out by a sneak attack by two boys with baseball hats. They had managed to knock her out long enough for the U.S. Government to swoop in and contain her.

Baseball hats my my how embarrassing to be taken out by simple hats


*frantically scrambles to correct typo*

All kidding aside, thank you so much for pointing that out.

There’s one other typo I just can’t recall where it was. I more than listen to chapters with the read feature so that’s the only reason I caught it. I think the word was pleasurable but I could be wrong

Well, this story was a fun thing. First, it was snarky as all hell in the first chapter, and then we got this which turned to right up horrifying. Granted, I suppose you could drop some Massive Ordnance Penetrators on Nightmare ala Shin Godzilla, but that presumes she can't just shoot them out of the skies. Also, you'd have to get B-2s mobilized, and that could take god knows how long before while Nightmare creates all kinds of hell. And that includes killing Matt and Anthony.

Basically, the human race is pretty screwed if you look at it.

But seriously, this was a great piece. I howled at the Geico reference, and Nightmare Moon accidentally landing in nowheresville New Jersy and getting up knocked out by baseball bats? It's so mind numbly stupid it becomes so plausible.

Thanks! I actually didn't plan to write that bonus chapter at first, and to be honest, I have no idea where I got the idea to make it as dark as I did. I suppose I just wanted to see just how scary I could make the idea of Equestrian alicorn magic in a real-world setting sound. I've actually been toying with the idea of writing a third chapter where she comes back to hunt down Matt and Anthony. It would probably go back to the lighter tone the first one had, but I don't know if I'll ever do it. I've also been considering writing a full-on remake of this story with a much longer chapter count and a more tongue-in-cheek, fandom related sense of humor.

But anyway, thanks for checking this out! Be sure to take a look at my other stories if you can find the time!


I've actually been toying with the idea of writing a third chapter where she comes back to hunt down Matt and Anthony. It would probably go back to the lighter tone the first one had, but I don't know if I'll ever do it. I've also been considering writing a full-on remake of this story with a much longer chapter count and a more tongue-in-cheek, fandom related sense of humor.

I like the third chapter idea, but remaking this story with a more fandom oriented sense of humor? Nah, I'd advise against that actually. It's funny as it is, no need to pander to the audience with a few cheap jokes.

Comment posted by Jade Dawn deleted Jul 26th, 2019

Sorry, accidentally deleted the original comment. Let me send you a PM with the idea, just to avoid spoilers should I choose to go through with it.

Well... that escalated quickly.

Your requested review is on the "I Just Want A Comment" forum here.

I live in New jersey myself and I cant tell if thats a made up town or it exists.

I just made it up off the top of my head.

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