Such Sweet Poison

by AugieDog

2 - The Results

Doing her tai chi exercises the next morning, Fluttershy found herself screeching to an unsteady halt several times when her legs didn't reach quite as far as she'd been expecting them to. Uneasiness building to full-fledged panic, she finally had to rush to her closet and try on four perfectly fitting dresses before she could convince herself that, no, she hadn't shrunk overnight.

Her face warm, she hung her clothes back up, glided over to the little rug beside her bed once more, and retook the opening pose. This time, she made it all the way to the end, but just like last night, she had to go slowly and concentrate. Had she really become so accustomed to being oversized during those twenty or so minutes at Twilight's that she'd forgotten how her actual body worked?

The second time through the twenty-four postures, she reached the proper tempo at least and was able to start cultivating her usual air of resigned acceptance. As a vital part of her morning exercises, she would review the ways she'd failed the previous day so she could acknowledge them, vow to do better, and put them behind her. Remembering last night, though, and considering how badly she'd embarrassed herself, embarrassed Twilight, and messed up everything because she hadn't been more careful, she needed to run through her poses a third time before she felt that she was finally getting back into sync both physically and mentally.

She slid once more into the closing movement, released her grip on the final fragments of her shattered hopes the way she always did, blew out a breath, and scattered those fragments to places where they would never bother her again. Then she turned, headed downstairs, boiled up a bowl of oatmeal, and began her morning chores.

Still, throughout the rest of the day, whether she was brushing nettles out of a distressed squirrel's coat or teaching her Wednesday afternoon class or strolling back into town afterwards with Applejack to help Big McIntosh close up the market stall for the evening, she found herself wondering how the animals and her students and her friends and the other townsfolk might react to seeing her as large as she'd been last night.

Just the thought of Big Mac having to look up to meet her gaze made her giggle, and she giggled even more on the walk back to her cottage when she imagined a friendly wrestling match between her and Harry out in the school gymnasium, ponies and griffins and changelings and creatures of all sorts hopping and whistling and cheering around the ring...

The next day, she only had to perform her exercises once to settle herself enough to go into town on her weekly seed run. Then around lunchtime, some crows came cawing and tapping at her window with a story about an awful smell up by the animal sanctuary. She flew out with them to take a look and spent the rest of the afternoon organizing beavers and bears and a whole squadron of the larger birds to help cut down a fungus-riddled oak and haul it away before it could collapse into any nearby trees, maybe crushing various nests and burrows and spreading the horrible stuff further through the forest.

Sweaty, dirty, stinky, the mask tied around her snout making it hard for the moles digging out the infected roots to understand her, Fluttershy thought how handy some poison joke powder might've been right then. She could've taken care of this whole mess herself, pulling the tree out and flying it away without all this bother...

Almost completely wrung out, she thought about staying in bed when she woke the next morning, but she certainly didn't want to miss her regular Friday appointment with Rarity at the spa. Even after her tai chi, she was very happy to head over there, the treatment so relaxing that she found herself drifting off into a reverie imagining Bulk Biceps' face if she'd showed up here Tuesday night after Twilight—

"—haven't seen Twilight all week," Rarity was saying, catching Fluttershy's ear and making her blink. Fortunately, she was already flushed from the hot scented water they were soaking in, so she didn't have to worry about Rarity noticing her blush: the last she'd heard, Rarity had been in the middle of another cute story about Opalescence...

"All week?" Fluttershy repeated to show that she'd been paying attention, and only then did she realize that she hadn't seen Twilight during the past several days either.

"Yes." Rarity waved a hoof, little ripples spreading through the steam. "Still, that's our Twilight, isn't it? When I'm swamped with work, she's constantly stopping by wanting to take me to lunch, but when my schedule opens up a bit, she's nowhere to be found!"

"Oh, my." Considering what Twilight had been up to the other night, Fluttershy couldn't keep her ears from folding. "Do you think she's all right?"

With another wave of her hoof, Rarity leaned back against the rim of the tub. "She's no doubt hock deep in some experiment, or she and Starlight are debating some abstruse point of magical lore." Her hornglow grabbed a sponge from the bucket on the rail and squeezed a trickle of cold water down her face. "Nonetheless, after our classes today, we should march up to her office and thoroughly lambaste her for ignoring us!"

"Oh, my!" And when she said it this time, Fluttershy couldn't help clutching her hooves to her chest. "Unless...does that mean bringing a little lamb to visit her?"

Rarity tapped her chin. "It should mean that, shouldn't it? And I daresay that would likely prove more effective than the regular sort of huffing and puffing the term usually entails." Beaming, she patted Fluttershy's shoulder. "Well, perhaps we'll try it with just the two of us first and bring the lamb in later if the situation calls for it."

So, after finishing up her lesson and wishing her students a pleasant and safe weekend, Fluttershy met Rarity in the school's rotunda for a walk through the empty hallways to the headmare's office. But only Spike was there, tapping away at the little typewriter on his desk. "Yeah," he said, "I've hardly seen her all week, too. She's been down in the lab working with poison joke, and—"

"Gracious!" Rarity drew one leg up, her nose wrinkling like she'd smelled the tree fungus from yesterday. "Why in the wide, wide world of Equestria would she want anything to do with that grotesque substance?"

A little heat shot through Fluttershy. She opened her mouth, but since she had no idea what she wanted to say, she quickly closed it again.

Spike was shrugging. "I've been taking breakfast, lunch, and dinner down to her every day, and since the dirty dishes're sitting out in the hallway each time I come back, I guess she's eating. But if she's still holed up in there Sunday night, Starlight says she'll help me pry her out so we can at least hose her off."

Rarity shuddered. "Well, as long as you're monitoring the situation."

Reaching into the typewriter to untangle the little rods, Spike shrugged some more. "You know how she is. She'll be fine once she figures out whatever's grabbed hold of her."

As much as Fluttershy didn't like it, she knew Spike was right. But all the way back to Carousel Boutique, she had to keep biting her tongue while Rarity went through in excruciating detail how terrible her experience with poison joke had been all those years ago. On the boutique's doorstep, though, Fluttershy couldn't help saying, "But poison joke did help out the Ponytones when Big Mac lost his voice, didn't it?"

"Hmmm?" Rarity glanced over, the light of her horn pushing the door open. "Oh, well, yes, but that was a completely unique situation. Those flowers are nothing but trouble for the most part, and the less I have to do with them, the better."

Not wanting to argue, Fluttershy nodded, returned Rarity's good night, and took the road out of town across the bridge to her cottage.

After her evening chores, she fried some potatoes and squash for supper and curled up on the sofa with the book she was reading. That always made the day's tensions drain partially away, she'd found, and several hours later, finally ready for bed, she yawned and stood and stretched, turned for the stairs up to her bedroom—

And stopped when a hesitant, sloppy sort of knock sounded at the front door. More a scratching than a knocking, she thought. Maybe some poor injured creature?

That made her wings spread, and she swooped across the room. Pulling the door open carefully so as not to alarm whatever might be outside needing her help, she focused on the stoop and blinked at four purple hooves. "I shouldn't," a voice whispered, and Fluttershy raised her gaze along long, shapely purple legs and a lovely purple chest to see Twilight, her eyes wide and bloodshot, her mane a mess and a pair of saddlebags slung all askew across her back. "It's wrong, wrong, wrong..."

Fluttershy's ears pulled tight against her head. "Twilight?"

"I should go." Twilight was blinking so rapidly that Fluttershy found herself thinking of window shutters flapping in a storm.

"Um." Slowly, Fluttershy reached up and rested a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "You look like you could use some tea, Twilight."

"I could." Her voice had a thickness to it that flicked every 'hurt animal' switch in Fluttershy's head. "I really, really could."

"Well, then." Fluttershy made her tone all soft and sweet and coaxing. "Please, Twilight, won't you come in? It's nice and warm, and you look very cold and tired." In fact, she looked like she'd been run over repeatedly by multiple yaks, but Fluttershy didn't think making that observation out loud would help the situation.

"Tired." Twilight nodded. "I haven't slept in—" Her brow wrinkled, her snout scrunching up. "Three days? Four, maybe? Is it Friday or Saturday?"

It took some effort, but Fluttershy didn't unleash the Stare. Still, she felt like she was issuing an order when she slid a little to the side and said, "Come in, Twilight."

"Thank you," Twilight murmured. She stumbled past, and Fluttershy was sure she could smell the exhaustion wafting up all muddy and damp from her coat.

Refusing to panic, Fluttershy quickly formed a plan: she needed to get Twilight settled comfortably on the sofa and see if she could make her feel safe enough to take a nap. She closed the door, turned—

And found herself snout to snout with Twilight, those big eyes wavering. "You don't hate me, Fluttershy, do you? I...I couldn't stand it if you hated me!"

"Twilight!" Without needing to think, Fluttershy curled a foreleg around Twilight's withers and pressed her face into the crook of her neck. "How could I? Your friendship made me who I am today, and my life has never been so wonderful!" Stepping back, she raised her gaze to meet and hold Twilight's. "Can you...can you tell me what's wrong?"

A swallow convulsed Twilight's throat. "You know what's wrong," she muttered. Her eyes narrowed, her voice roughening. "If anypony in this town knows, it's you. Because you're the same way."

Fluttershy's ears didn't fold this time because she wouldn't let them. "The same as what, Twilight?"

"The same as me!" Twilight whirled up from the carpet, her wings and hooves flailing. "But you get to be that way, don't you? You don't have to be a bulwark of Equestrian civilization, always steadfast, always prepared, always in charge and in control!"

Sliding onto all fours halfway across the front room, Twilight spun and aimed a hoof so sharply, Fluttershy couldn't stop a wince. "'Cause I know what you like! I heard about you riding Bulk Biceps' barbell when you were all on the train heading up to the Equestria Games! You want somepony big and strong to hold you close and gentle, somepony you can cuddle with and...and..." Twilight more collapsed back onto her haunches than sat. "And feel cozy and loved and protected..." She wrapped her forelegs around herself, her eyelids drooping and a tiny smile pulling at her lips.

Her heart kettledrumming against her ribs, Fluttershy had to struggle not to leap for the nearest table so she could hide under it. This couldn't be a changeling, but it couldn't be Twilight, either, especially when she went on, her voice soft and strange and not like anything Fluttershy had heard from her before. "Maybe you've almost gone and talked with Applejack, too, almost asked her if Big McIntosh would mind you maybe stopping by some evening for a...a visit." She sucked in a breath, her head snapping up. "Nothing tawdry! I just mean some touching and some snuggling and some nuzzling and some holding! That's all! Except—"

Twilight's face hardened, and Fluttershy couldn't've leaped for the table then if she'd wanted to. "Except he'd have that thing, wouldn't he?" Twilight nearly spat the words. "He'd be all poking and prodding and...and stalliony everywhere! And Bulk Biceps? He's like a canker sore, shouting and awful and prob'bly rough as sandpaper!" A shudder shook her so thoroughly, Fluttershy was afraid she might tip over.

Still, Fluttershy opened her mouth to say that Bulk was actually a very nice and polite pony once you got to know him, but Twilight, staying upright somehow, was going on, her lips barely moving. "It's too much to ask, isn't it? Too much to want somepony smooth and gentle and big and strong. Ponies like that don't really exist, not regular ponies, I mean, ponies you can talk to and sleep with once you've grown up and who don't have the entire world literally depending on them every stupid hour of every stupid day. But I accept that they don't exist. I do. I do. Except—"

The way her gaze focused suddenly, so sharp and shining and intent, Fluttershy was sure she could feel it like a currycomb against her hide. "Except for you last Tuesday night," Twilight said, the words popping in Fluttershy's ears as small as soap bubbles. "And I...I...I—" She bent her head around, reached into her saddlebag with her snout, and came out with something clenched in her teeth, something small and cylindrical, partially clear and partially blue.

In the silence that followed, Fluttershy wouldn't let herself think, wouldn't let herself look at the little bottle of concentrated poison joke that Twilight was setting onto the table in front of the sofa, wouldn't let herself gasp or shiver or anything.

"And that," Twilight whispered, her gaze on the floor, "is why I haven't slept. 'Cause every time I close my eyes, I see you dancing in my library, my fantasy come to life, and feel the perfect pressure of my check against your big, broad chest. And it's also why I should go. 'Cause this is horrible, what I'm doing right here and right now. And it's also why you're going to hate me. 'Cause I'm going to ask you please to...to...to..." She waved at the bottle, and it wobbled where it stood.

Fluttershy couldn't stop her wings from shooting out. "Careful!" she whimpered. "You'll spill it!"

Twilight's chest was rising and falling very rapidly, but the bottle didn't tumble over, didn't shatter or pop its lid or spray blue powder everywhere. "Don't worry," Twilight said, but then she pulled a second bottle from her saddlebag and placed it next to the first. "I brought one for each of us."

Questions flashed through Fluttershy's mind like salmon struggling and leaping upstream, but the only one she could get past her lips was, "Each?"

When Twilight nodded, it made Fluttershy think of a scarecrow's head getting tossed around in a breeze. "One so you can get all big and strong," Twilight said, her voice more breath than words, "and one so I can get all weak and wimpy. Then you'll...you'll hold me sweet and close, and I won't hafta be sturdy, won't hafta be reliable, won't hafta be...won't hafta be me." She drooped, Fluttershy trying her best to keep completely still and quiet.

But then Twilight's head snapped up again, her eyes hard and glassy. "But you won't do that, and I won't do that. I'm me no matter what, and I refuse to give in to these unnatural cravings! D'you hear me?" Rearing back onto her hind legs, she spread her wings and front hooves, fire crackling down her horn, weaving through her mane, and bursting into a nimbus around her head. "I am Twilight Sparkle!" she roared, the whole house shaking. "I am the Princess of Friendship! And I will not betray everything I believe in by coming here and asking you to do something so—!"

The fire shut off as suddenly as if somepony had flipped a switch, and Twilight collapsed back onto her haunches again. The curdled stink of bone-deep weariness rolled off her this time in an invisible fog, and she started wilting like a daisy that hadn't been watered in a very long time. "But...I am here, aren't I? And that means I'm a fraud and a villain and a monster and a—"

"No!" Fluttershy couldn't stay still and quiet a moment longer. She leaped forward and tucked herself against Twilight's chest in the hope that she could prop her up. "You're none of those things, Twilight, and I won't have you thinking that you are!"

For several long seconds, Fluttershy just stood there with Twilight's weight pressing warm along her side. Then in a voice as brittle as glass about to break, Twilight said, "Thank you. But I should go."

"No." Keeping her words steady took a fair amount of effort, but Fluttershy made that effort, pushed away from Twilight, and looked up to meet her wide-eyed gaze. "Because if we're going to do this, we're going to need some rules."

"Rules?" The tiniest spark flickered in Twilight's face, the tiniest smile pulling her lips. "Rules are good."

"Exactly." Not letting herself lose sight of her goal—Twilight sleeping—Fluttershy nodded to the bottles on the table. "And rule number one is: until we know better how poison joke extract affects me, we won't both be taking it at the same time."

The traces of Twilight's smile faded, but Fluttershy pushed on: "Think about it, Twilight. We don't know how strong I get, so if you're magically weakened, what happens if I accidentally squeeze you too hard and hurt you?" An idea popped into her head, and she seized on it eagerly. "We need to run some experiments first, don't you think?"

Just as Fluttershy had hoped, the smile sprang back even bigger across Twilight's muzzle. "Experiments? Yes, I...I like experiments. I like them very much."

Fluttershy didn't cheer with relief because, well, the hard part hadn't even started yet. "So, you'll lie down on the sofa, all right? I'll take the bottles over to the other side of the room, and I'll use one of them to—" She had to swallow against the tightness in her throat. "To grow," she finally got herself to say.

Twilight's wings were vibrating against her sides as fast a hummingbird's. "And you'll be in charge?" she asked.

With another swallow, Fluttershy nodded. "Which will be rule number two. If I'm in charge, then we'll need a safe word."

Ears springing up, Twilight's head pulled back. "A what? But why? And how...how do you even know what a safe word is?"

It felt like every inch of her was blushing. "Rarity lends me romance novels, and once, she, uhh, she gave me one she didn't mean to." She forced her head up. "But you remember what happened with me and Iron Will, right? And just last month when I tried to help out at 'Rarity for You'?" As much as she wanted to crawl under the table, Fluttershy needed Twilight to understand this. "Sometimes when I act like somepony else, I...I get a little lost. But if you say something like...like 'coriander casserole,' it'll remind me that I'm me and make me stop and look at whatever it is I'm—"

"Wait, wait, wait." Twilight was blinking very quickly again. "I don't— This isn't— Why do we—?"

"Twilight!" The power of the Stare bubbled behind Fluttershy's forehead, but she managed to breathe it away before it could burst out of her. "These are the rules," she went on when she could. "If we want to do this, then we have to—"

"Follow them. Yes. You're right; you're right." Twilight swayed where she sat on the floor, but she showed no sign of passing out. "'Coriander casserole.' I'll say that if...if...y'know, I can't think of anything you could do that would make me need a safe word, actually. But if it's a rule, then it's a rule." Her smile seemed much more lively all of a sudden. "What's next?"

Fluttershy did some more swallowing. Her first thought had been that she could keep adding rules till the exhausted Twilight passed out from boredom, but, well, she'd kind of forgotten who she was dealing with. This was Twilight Sparkle, after all. For her, the more rules, the better...

Casting around for another plan, Fluttershy found nothing in her head but another rule. It was a good one, though, one that might actually let her postpone everything tonight. "Third, we need some of Zecora's remedy standing by in case things get too weird for me and I need to change back."

The glow sputtered around Twilight's horn, but it stretched quickly and solidly to pluck a bottle of green powder from her saddlebag. "I recall when I've used your bathroom that the dimensions of your tub are slightly larger than usual. I suppose it's easier to wash animals in it that way?" Twilight arched an eyebrow at her.

"Oh! Umm, yes, that...that's it exactly." Discussing her plumbing fixtures with Twilight would've been odd enough under any circumstances, but right now, it was all Fluttershy could do not to start giggling. "They always appreciate the warm water, I find."

"Good!" Twilight grabbed the greenish bottle out of the air and set it on the table beside the bluish bottles. "This, therefore, should be the proper amount of herbs to mix into your tub when it's three-quarters full of water, and it'll wash away all the effects of the poison joke." Her tongue darted out to touch her upper lip. "Though of course I'll need to sponge the solution over you since you'll be too large to fit into the tub..."

The image of her giant self sitting on the bathroom floor while Twilight used the sponge clenched in her teeth to ever so slowly drizzle warm elixir over and across her muscular body drove every other thought from Fluttershy's head. Nothing seemed real, the lighting peculiar and the sounds muffled like she was in a dream, but stepping past Twilight, she swept all three bottles into the grip of her wings, tucked them against her sides, and started across the carpet.

Twilight squealed behind her, then gasped, "Oh, wait! I'm supposed to be lying on the sofa!" A rush of feathers, and Fluttershy heard the rustle and crunch of somepony landing on her couch cushions.

She didn't look back, though. She couldn't. Not if she wanted to do this without collapsing into a quivering pile of pink hair and yellow hide.

Of course, she didn't want to do this. But Twilight seemed to want it so very much, and it wasn't as if growing had hurt at all the other night. And if it would calm Twilight down so she could sleep...

Her knees shaking, Fluttershy found herself thinking of the simple act of walking to the other side of the room as if it were part of her tai chi p'yon exercises. Concentrating on the movements and only on the movements, she made it to the far wall, carefully set the bottles on the little table under the window, then turned, hoping against hope that Twilight would be stretched out asleep and lightly snoring.

But Twilight was sitting up, her eyes still bright—feverish, almost, Fluttershy thought—her excitement cutting through the stink of her fatigue like an approaching thunderstorm pushing aside a humid afternoon.

Not letting herself think, Fluttershy hooked one of the poison joke bottles in a pastern, rotated the cap off with her other hoof, and dashed the contents into her face with a gasp.

The smell of it—sharper than cinnamon, heavier than lilac, sweeter than pepper, tangier than lavender—burst into her nose and tongue, and fire shot through her from snout to tail just like the other night. The dizziness swept over her, all the angles shifting as if she were rising into a hover, the carpet rubbing the bottom of her hooves though she knew she wasn't moving. The air rushing into her lungs cooled her, steadied her, the panic in her chest seeming to shrink...though now that she thought about it, her panic might've been staying the same size while her chest expanded around it.

She had to smile at the idea: the same amount of fear and worry churning away inside her but thinner and hazier now that there was so much more of her to dilute it. Straightening to her full height, Fluttershy shifted her broad shoulders, settled her massive wings, stretched her long, long spine, and focused her attention back on the sofa.

The look on Twilight's face reminded Fluttershy of a poor, lost, thirsty animal setting eyes on a big bowl of water. "Yes, yes, yes," she was muttering, and she was leaning so far forward, Fluttershy wasn't quite sure why she wasn't tumbling off the sofa and slamming face-first into the table. The shivering of her partially extended wings might've been helping her stay upright, though...

"Twilight?" Fluttershy asked, keeping her rumbly voice quiet. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am." She sounded half-asleep, but Fluttershy didn't think she'd ever seen Twilight look so wide awake. "I think I can say without fear of being contradicted that I am the all rightest that any pony has been since the dawn of Equestrian civilization. In fact?" Leaping across the table, she hit the floor at a gallop, skidded to a halt on the carpet in front of Fluttershy, and turned a giant gleaming grin up at her. "We should go out! You and me! Show Ponyville what Friday night can really be like!"

Alarms going off in her head, Fluttershy couldn't stop it from bursting out of her: "No!"

Her grin vanishing, Twilight rocked back like she'd been struck. "Sorry, ma'am! I...I didn't mean to—!"

"Twilight?" The breath Fluttershy drew in seemed to go on and on, but she needed every moment of it to gather her courage, to convince herself that she needed to do this, to change her plan just the teensiest bit. "What I'd actually like for you to do is trot very carefully upstairs and get into my bed."

Everything seemed to freeze for a fraction of a heartbeat, then Twilight's ears sprang up so sharply, Fluttershy almost thought they might pop right off her head. "Your...bed, ma'am?"

Smiling while also narrowing her eyes, Fluttershy tried for a look of good-natured sternness. "Am I going to have to repeat myself, Twilight?"

"No, ma'am!" The full force of Twilight's grin had returned. "I just— I wasn't— I never—" Her mouth pulling shut, she sucked and blew several loud wheezes through her nose. "Your bed, ma'am! Yes, ma'am! Right away, ma'am!" Her wings flaring, she jerked to a halt in the act of springing into the air. "Trot, you said, ma'am! Very carefully, you said!" She crashed back down onto all fours. "Yes, ma'am!" She practically pranced to the foot of the stairs and skipped up them.

As soon as Twilight's swishing tail disappeared through the doorway at the top, all Fluttershy's doubts and fears slammed into her so hard, only her new muscles kept her from toppling over. Because Twilight had been right as usual when she'd said that she and Fluttershy were the same: those few times that Fluttershy let herself fantasize in bed about somepony holding her close, that pony was very strong, very gentle, and very female.

She seldom allowed herself to indulge in that fantasy, though. After all, nearly every pony she'd become friends with in recent years fit the description of her dream mare, and while it sometimes made her want to dance with happiness, it just as often kicked her in the stomach so hard, she could barely breathe. Yes, her friends were absolutely wonderful, helping her whenever she faltered, comforting her whenever she cried, visiting her whenever she didn't feel up to leaving her cottage. But not a one had ever shown any romantic interest in her, and she certainly couldn't speak to any of them about it.

Of course, just the thought of talking about romance with Rainbow made Fluttershy want to giggle despite everything. And as much as she loved them, she'd long ago decided that Applejack and Rarity would likely treat her more like a child or a fashion accessory than a partner, and Pinkie, well, a little of Pinkie tended to go a very long way indeed.

And now? Now that the strongest, gentlest, funniest, sweetest, most beautiful mare Fluttershy was sure she was ever going to meet was right now getting into her bed upstairs? Now that the exact opposite of Fluttershy's dearest dream was coming true since that mare apparently wanted Fluttershy to be the strong and gentle one?

She glanced down at the second bottle of poison joke extract and made a mental note to ask Discord if he might've perhaps played a part in creating the flower.

But she had to admit that she knew exactly how she was supposed to behave in this situation. She just had to play the part of her fantasy mare rather than playing herself. And she had a definite goal here, too: to get Twilight to sleep. She just had to act the way she would've wanted a pony who now looked like her to act if she had met that pony instead of turning into that pony.

Shaking her head—it was altogether too late to try making sense—Fluttershy scooped the two remaining bottles from the table, turned for the stairs, and climbed to the second floor with slow steps. But then her cottage had withstood Discord at his most peculiar: it could probably handle her at her new weight.

Her mind on the plan, she first turned left in the hallway, ducked into the bathroom, and tucked the bottles carefully into the drawer where she kept her toothpaste. Then raising her head and smoothing out her steps—she always admired a pony with a gliding gait—she padded along the carpet toward her bedroom door.

The glow of her little bedside firefly lantern flickered from inside, and as much as she wanted to just peer around the doorpost to see what was happening, she knew that Twilight would want her to be more confident. Or no, not confident—that could turn into smugness much too easily. Suave was maybe the word: friendly but unmistakably running the show.

With another sigh and wishing she were the one lying in bed and that Twilight was the one sauntering in, Fluttershy put on a smile and squeezed through the doorway. If she was really lucky, Twilight would've fallen asleep on her own already.

But no. She was sitting wide-eyed against Fluttershy's pillow, her pasterns clenched at the edge of the blankets and drawing them up to her chin. "I'm sorry, ma'am!" she squeaked, her voice cracking. "I didn't know what else you wanted me to do since I...I...I didn't know what you wanted to do."

Fluttershy cocked her head and tried to be clever. "Well, what do ponies usually do in bed?"

In the wavering light, Twilight looked away, her blush turning her the color of an overripe plum.

Not heaving any of the sighs that wanted to well up inside her, Fluttershy said, "Sleeping, Twilight. We're going to cuddle together and sleep."

Twilight's gaze remained fixed on the footboard. "I'm sorry, ma'am." She whispered it this time. "I...I know I'm not pretty or interesting or—"

Without even thinking, Fluttershy leaped the rest of the way across the room, landed beside the bed, slid one forehoof behind Twilight's head, bent down, and kissed her the way she herself had always dreamed of being kissed: firmly, tenderly, passionately, pouring all the feelings she'd never been able to express into this one motion, this one action, so simple and straightforward.

Part of her wanted to scream that she'd lost her mind; part of her wanted to cheer that she'd finally done something that she'd dreamed about for so many years; but most of her just wanted it to go on and on, Twilight's lips as sweet and warm as melted butter, her forelegs touching here and there against Fluttershy's mane like baby birds not quite sure where to land.

Pulling back was as hard a thing as Fluttershy had done in years. "Another rule, Twilight," she said in that throaty whisper that, if she'd been hearing it herself, she knew would be turning her insides to the lovliest sort of jelly. "We only tell the truth when we're together like this. So let's not have any more of you saying you're not pretty or interesting, all right?"

"You—" Twilight swallowed. "You kissed me, ma'am."

"I did." Trusting her new body, Fluttershy scooped Twilight up with her forelegs, gave her wings just as much of a flap as they needed to lift them both, then flexed her lower body, did half a turn, and slid herself sideways onto the mattress, the blanket drifting down to cover the two of them. "A good night kiss to usher you off into dreamland."

"Oh." It was maybe the quietest sound she'd ever heard from Twilight, but then Twilight was stretching her neck, pressing her lips to Fluttershy's, burying her forehooves in Fluttershy's hair, her body warm and solid and perfect against Fluttershy's.

How long it went on, Fluttershy had no idea, but then Twilight was moving, sliding, tucking her head into the crook of Fluttershy's neck, and muttering, "Oh, princess, I love you so, so much..." Her breathing slowed and deepened, and just like that, she was asleep.

Fluttershy closed her eyes, and for all that she'd been expecting Twilight to say that word since hearing her little rant downstairs, it still didn't lessen the gut punch of it. Twilight was asleep, though—that was the important thing—the soft little puffs of her breath over Fluttershy's broad chest raising delicious little goosebumps.

Which sent her thoughts moving in directions she couldn't let them go. Twilight was asleep, and that, Fluttershy told herself again, was the only thing that mattered. Turning her head toward the lamp, she whispered, "Thank you, but I think that'll be all for tonight."

The fireflies stopped their swirling, bowed in unison, then flitted off through the hole in the lantern's base toward the slightly open window. Darkness settling over the room, Fluttershy tried to get comfortable, but lying on her side, she found that her shoulder was so big, she couldn't lower her head enough even to feel the pillowcase against her cheek. She didn't want to shift around too much, either, for fear of disturbing—

Her gut twinged, but Fluttershy refused to sigh. She'd finally, finally, finally kissed the mare she dreamed about more than any other, and it had been every bit as wonderful as she'd always known it would be. And even confirming everypony's long-held suspicion that Twilight's heart belonged to Princess Celestia couldn't take away Fluttershy's memory of those lips, those hooves, the perfect warm flex of her now cuddled along Fluttershy's barrel.

Closing her eyes, she relaxed as well as she could, concentrated on the sensation of Twilight resting in her embrace, and refused to think about anything else.

At least it was a quiet night, but then Fluttershy only knew that because she was awake for most of it. Each time she started dropping off, Twilight would shift or mutter or snuggle closer, and every nerve ending throughout Fluttershy's entirely too large body would go off like an internal fireworks display, snapping her instantly to full consciousness.

The bed seemed to get smaller as the night wore on, too, though Fluttershy knew it really wasn't. Her hocks stayed bent at the same angle, for instance, with her rear hooves pressing the same spots on the footboard. More importantly, though, the dimensions of the pony between her legs didn't vary at all, Twilight Sparkle curled and breathing slowly, wonderfully against her—hind legs to stomach, belly to barrel, chest to chest, and head to neck—in all her maddening glory.

Fluttershy never wanted the night to end, but at the same time, she wished she'd never met Twilight, never set eyes on that perky smile, never been exposed to the charming goofiness that had crashed into her life bearing first a baby dragon, then an adventure that reshaped the entire world, then multiple friendships, then more adventures, and at last something that on Fluttershy's part at least had become more than friendship...

Eventually, though, Fluttershy must've finally fallen into some actual sort of sleep because when she started awake the next time, sunlight flooded her blinking eyes, a strangled gasp stabbing her flicking ears. The warm solidity tucked along her squirmed away, and Fluttershy's fuzzy vision resolved just in time to watch Twilight plunge flailing to the floor.

"Twilight!" Fluttershy pushed herself up onto her shanks.

"No!" Something that looked more like a purple tumbleweed than anything else scrambled across the floor, but Twilight came up quickly onto all fours, her wings and eyes wide. "I didn't! Please tell me I didn't!"

"It's all right, Twilight." Reaching for her extra-soothing tones, Fluttershy couldn't quite find them among the deeper notes of this body's voice.

"All right?" Twilight's mane bristled. "I break into your home, transform you for my own perverted pleasures, then have my filthy way with you?" She stomped a hoof, thunder shaking the air. "There's nothing even remotely all right about that!"

Opening her mouth to start explaining, Fluttershy couldn't get even part of a word out before lightning was springing up all around Twilight, its crackling fire glistening against the tears on her cheeks. "I'm a monster, and I can't—! I don't—! I won't—!" The lightning flared to a blinding brightness. "I'm so, so sorry, Fluttershy!" Anguish shredded her words. "I've got to...got to—!" She shrieked, and a hurricane-force wind blasted into Fluttershy's face.

"Wait!" Unable to see, the gale roaring in her ears, Fluttershy hurled herself into the tempest. Fear lashing her forward, she flapped her massive wings once—

And the raging storm vanished, the air suddenly empty and still. Pulling up, she dropped to the floor, looked around blinking till she could see again. Her bed lay upended against the far wall, scorch marks singed her carpets, her window curtains snarled and tangled.

But there was no sign of Twilight anywhere.

Author's Note:

Little bit:

Of a cliffhanger, but the conclusion, "3 - The Analysis," should be here next Wednesday.

Mike

Comments

[Darkstarling]

Poor flutters.

[Eroraf86]

Twilight, you seriously need to sleep.

[nemryn]

She slid once more into the closing movement, released her grip on the final fragments of her shattered hopes the way she always did,

Oh, Fluttershy.

Dang, man, how do you do it? How do you manage to take a premise like this and turn it into something so tender and gentle and heartbreaking?

[Venerable Ro]

Y'know, personally I try to avoid drinking anything foisted on me by someone in such a state...

[Darkstarling]

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Even delerius Twilight has her morals though. We're not quite at Want It Need It levels yet.

[AugieDog]

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Thanks, folks!

I hope I'm not spoiling too much by saying all turns out well in the end.

Mike

[Venerable Ro]

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I'm honestly kind of disappointed that this will only be three chapters, you've written an exquisite story here. it's so rare to find such a lovely depiction of Fluttershy, and even rarer that something really amazing happens to her. Once in another fic I got to see her do a sonic rainboom (flutterboom?) and it was the most glorious thing!

[OmniFox]

Twilight's has turned into a masochist.

[Icy Shake]

Somehow, I just seem to fall for the stories where lovebirds can't help but hurt each other, and hope, somehow, they find a way to learn not to.

Also angst. Lots of that, on both sides. Beautiful, sharp, resolvable if only it ends up being consistent with the characters... but can they do what it takes to get there?

[AugieDog]

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Oh, if only it were that simple...

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If all goes well, the action-packed third chapter will at least serve as an emotionally satisfying conclusion to the currently in motion chain of events. And that may have been the most convoluted sentence I've written in weeks.

Mike

[FridayPie]

Now silly alicirl left enlarged Fluttershy.... who would xause a panic in Ponyville if she appears in public :P

[Icarus_Con_Queso]

A lot of Twilight's thought process here mirrors some of my own, especially back when I was in a really bad place in my life. This leaves me torn between "oh no" and "oh yes".

At least until that princess Freudian slip. That was a gut punch.

[Ri2]

This was INCREDIBLY unhealthy.

[Purple-Smart Heart]

Even though TwiLestia is my eternal OTP, "gutpunch" really was a good word for that.

It completely changed everything, from fetishizing someone Twilight already seemed infatuated with, to turning a pony she doesn't have those feelings for into a fake of the pony she's actually infatuated with.

It's not healthy, it's not okay to do that to Fluttershy, and god damn Fluttershy thinking that it's fine as long as Twilight's happy is ALSO not okay, there's unconditional love and then there's... well that.