• Member Since 14th Nov, 2017
  • offline last seen 45 minutes ago

One of Nine


“Shadows are everywhere, and where they are, SO AM I." - Makuta Teridax‬

T

Follow the world of My Little Pony through the eyes of two creatures unheard of. One is Stolen Royalty, the other is an unknown man of faith. Will they survive the challenges? Win or Loose? Only time and the powers above know.

Shadows moved in the dark, golden eyes follow, yet they go unseen. Why?

Chapters (33)
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Comments ( 410 )

This is really good!!! Keep it up dude.

In all honesty, this is my first fiction. If anyone wants to give ideas, I'll happily see if I can place them. Please let me know if I've made any spelling mistakes, as I'm not a good speller.

You spelt ‘break’ wrong in your story summary. You spelt it as ‘brake.’

I must admit, I was a bit skeptical about this story, but it seems my fears were unfounded...
You have me hooked line and sinker!

Any plans on cross-overs with other Displaced?

8853860
I hope to keep your interest as the story continues, though with school and work, it's difficult to find time for writing

8853869
None so far, maybe in the future 😁

This is getting interesting, and I wonder who that one guard was? Well, if he even was a guard to begin with.

Wolves on my world are strictly carnivore, no fruits or vegetables.

ALL canines are omnivores.
Canines, from domesticated dogs to wild dogs, such as Wolves, Dingoes, Foxes and so on eat grass to clean out their digestive tracts. They will eat fruits that they recognise as safe when they feel they need certain nutrients that meat won't provide or if wild game is unavailable at the time.

I once saw a Dingo pass up a pork sausage and go for a fire-baked potato after it wandered into where my family had set up a camp.

'Walk by Faith. Not by sight.'

“No.” My voice gained a small amount of authority. “She has a right to be mad. I doomed her to a fate she doesn’t want, I have no way to change her back, and she no doubt knows it. If anyone is to be sorry, it’s me.”

Ehh no you didn't, it was the cultists that changed the two of you :trixieshiftright:

“Of course, you didn’t, Micah. You always fumbled into everything you did. From preschool to collage, always tripping over yourself. But there was always someone to pick you back up… the One whom I used to serve.” He then leaned in, close to my ear. “Your time here will soon be over. Know this, adopted son of the King; you were once mine, and soon will be again.”

Well that's confusing, and slightly ominous :trixieshiftright:

So… the only creatures that I knew of in Equestria with green blood would’ve been Changelings. Though, the only time that I knew them to be impersonating the Royal Sisters

Then how come "Luna" knows about Fang's world and his memories, had it been only Celestia i could have believed it (not eating cake huh, such horrible acting skills), but that Luna is a changeling in this situation as well makes me wonder if there is something else going on :trixieshiftleft:

8855929
Well, when I'd originally written the story, I had it where instead of the cultists doing the change, it was Fang. I originally had it where another mind came, killed the cultists, and changed Luna before Celestia came to the rescue. Though I decided to change it, i need to fix that mistake.

8855511
Another mistake that needs fixing.

8855977
Let us know when you do so that we can reread it :twilightsmile:

What does the red dot mean? The one before the title?

*Flexes my claws and wonders if I could join in the FUN!!!!!*

She sounds hot and badass!!! Me Gusta.

*sharpens blade*
I’ll take the heavy position for you, I think this calls for dual kukri

Going back to the eight guards, Blueblood had chosen and trained them in the same manner that his teacher had done. Two years passed until they were ready for their knighthood, each being given a curved sword that resembled a Katona, but with a longer hilt.

Don’t you mean Katana?

Oh, the grammar!
Oh, it's so bad!
Oh GOD, it hurts!
...
Seriously, you need an editor.

Other than that it's fine. It feels a little rushed, but fine.

8859722
Sorry, I forgot to edit it before uploading it.

Would anyone like to be my editor? Still new and could use all the help I can get

8864804
Try looking here, it is the highest ranked editorial group on the site.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors

8858928

dual kukri

*inhale* NEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRDDDD!!!!!

“Ok, fine. But I’m still keeping an eye on you.”

Strikes a pose like a victoria's secrets model

"Like what you see?" :duck:

Sorry for the bad editing with the last two chapters, I guess that I got excited and wanted to flush them out. Not taking the time to properly edit them, sorry for that.😕

8914837
Ok, I'll see about fixing them

Hmm...I don’t want to call that Guard out, but he seems to be a Demon. Although I could be wrong.

Either Satan, Lucifer, or one of their underlings...

That song is quite beautiful to tell you the truth. Even though Christians and Catholics are a bit different from each other. I still love the way the main character sang the song with pride. :scootangel:

8939943
Wait, I thought Lucifer is Satan.

I caught the reference you used with the reclamation.
I had that movie on for my nieces when they visited last.


On the topic of movies, I do hope you'll eventually use the songs, 'Deliver Us' and 'Thus Sayeth the Lord' from the Prince of Egypt.

8940414
Lucifer and Satan are the same guy, just that Lucifer is what the Greeks called him, I think. Satan was his original name though, according to my faith at least.

8940790
Hehe word of god is our vultur of hope. At times it’s our saving point of hope.

Boy,
This. Story. Is. Awsome
Hope you continue it
I was a bit lazy to log in but had to comment
I like the way this story is going
Anyway good luck writing this :)

I may not like overly religious people, but if I were to meet this guy, I might be able to get along with him. And this story is awesome, so keep up the good work!

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