• Member Since 24th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 4th, 2013

Pokey the Unicorn

I'll fill this out later. Hi though!


She has no name, no past, and no memories. Day in and day out, she has existed in a small cell. It's all she's ever known. On the surface, she's comfortable with her routine life. But there are questions lingering in her mind. Who is she? Was there ever anything else? Did something happen to her?

When she gets an unexpected visit from a purple unicorn, her world is quickly turned upside down. Is ignorance really bliss?


This is my first MLP: FIM fanfic! I hope y'all enjoy reading it.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 139 )

Pretty good so far, can't wait to see what happens. No grammatical errors i could see. My thoughts so far about the so far are:
why does she not have a cutiemark?
why is she in Jail/asylum/mental hospital?
what does 249 mean?
where is her memory?

GAH! The suspense is killing me! Cmon!

992201 that cliffhanger physically hurt you too?

Wow this is interesting! More please!

Hmm... pretty good so far. It seems to me that this story is very reminiscent of "White Box". The concept is practically the same even... Well, I'll have to wait and see if this story takes a different direction.

the description is pretty much white box in under 100 words...

you know this story is oddly similar to a story called White Box.

Seems pretty good. Looking forward to more.


Interesting so far.

Have you ever read the story white box? Cause it is a lot like this.:twilightsheepish:

While this is very reminiscent of White Box, I think its different enough to still be its own story. Time will tell, I suppose, though I certainly intend to read it when the next bit comes out :twilightsmile:

I'm with the others here. Weather or not you intended it to be this reads a lot like the white box. You can't avoid being compared to it; but as long as you don't end up making this place a prison for Celestia's enemies who have crazy special powers you should be okay.

(PS: don't end the story on an implied existential crisis and suicide. It might make for a deep story but it still sucks!)

you, sir, have earned one mustache and a scootaloo

I like it so far, but its not gonna be a white box rip off is it?

Either way, good job. I look forward to seeing what happens.

:flutterrage: FINISH.THIS.NOW!!!!!! :duck: pwetty pwease?

oooooOOOOOooooo!!! Can't wait to read the rest!

Second chapter is up! After such positive feedback from the first chapter I'm a little nervous about this one. I hope it's up to scratch! Thanks for all the likes, watches, and favorites so far. Enjoy. :)

good chapter cant wait for the next :twilightsmile:

Bloody awesome, just as before. Eagerly looking forward to more! :twilightsmile:

I'm guess the protagonist is Derpy Hooves?

Another nice chapter! Good for two-four-nine. For now. (That sad tag is staring me in the face :twilightsheepish:)

249 is best pony

Love it, really interesting story and I can't wait for it to continue :twilightsmile:

Don't stop.

Another great chapter.:twilightsmile: You give yourself too little credit.:moustache:
Keep them coming

My money's on Rainbow Dash; I'd prefer it be an OC, though.

Why do I feel like this pony is rainbow dash?

Anyway, the only problem I saw with this was that you bolded words. Normally words aren't bolded in stories, but put into italics. If you feel it needs more emphasis add it into the description after or before.

It's still pretty good though! :)

I don't have a problem with using bold face. I have a story I'm working on and I used it as you did for when somepony is yelling. I use italics for mind speech, or just plain thought. Can't wait to see how long you can drag it out before you let us know who it is.

needs more scary amnesia monsters :rainbowwild:

I kid, great stuff!



I like this chapter!!! My guess is that 249 is either Rainbow Dash or Derpy.

Well when i started reading this i was totaly like,"This is such a White Box rip off." but once the whole lost memory thing came up thats when i started to like this story and i cant wait for next chapter.

Now this is going to be interesting, keep up the good work :derpytongue2:

Third chapter is finally up! Sorry it took so long guys. I really dragged my hooves on this one, but I think it turned out really well. Bon appetit!

You might notice that there's a romance tag now. Yes, I changed it. I originally intended to keep it a secret, but meh. More stuff to guess, right?:pinkiehappy:

Tell me what you think! I'd really appreciate reviews and constructive criticism ect. Tell a friend about this story, spread it around, stuff like that.

Thanks everypony!

She's bad at flying but she isn't Fluttershy, cause of "I'm sorry that it has to be like this." Twilight begins. "I can't imagine how awful it must be for you, but I'm going to help you fix it, okay? Tomorrow is your last day, so I'm going to bring in a few Pegasi. I've got high hopes for those two, and I think you'll definitely get some of your memory back once you meet them." Twilight gives me an encouraging smile. So it's :scootangel:? Or maybe Derpy...

Muffin? Grey Body? Pegasus? I dare say we have a wall-eyed pegasus in the nut house, dood.

In short, it's totally Spike in there, dood.:scootangel:

She likes muffins, does she? Mmh, a deliberate hint, or a red herring?

Hm. The muffins were thrown in there to make us think Derpy, the poster is in there to make us think Dashie, it can't be Flutters because that would be mean... Scootaloo with some weird coat-color-drain thingy? An OC? I know one thing, you're keeping us on our toes-- er, hooves. Nice chapter :pinkiehappy: I enjoyed the Pinkie party.

A very good job of giving 'hints' without actually revealing... anything.


HNNNNNNGGGG, so ambiguous. I'm still betting on Derpy, though. Just because.

Ahhhh I can't wait to figure out who it is for sure!!!!! I have my ideas but I need to know._. Anyway I LOVE your story:heart: hopefully the pegasai brought in tomorrow will clear things up some what.:derpytongue2:

Suspecting Derpy, read the muffin part, it's :derpyderp2:! then read the mention of Daring Do and the Wonderbolts and thought :rainbowhuh: must be Dashie :rainbowwild: but then I remembered that mystery pony is gray, ergo: DERPY! :derpytongue2:

Another well written chapter, as always.:twilightsmile: Now I'm trying to keep an open mind about the possibilities but all of the clues and foreshadowing point to Derpy :derpytongue2:. Though you could probably throw a curve ball at us. Anyway keep up the great work.:moustache:

"It's a muffin!"

me: IT'S DERPY! :derpyderp2:

Derpy. He says with his neck stuck out a mile. Why? You ask.
Coat color. Gray
Variety. Pegasus
Known likes. Muffins
Verbal clue. "I just don't know what to do..." ( I just don't know what went wrong.) ????????
Other indications known to be involved in many crashes, could cause amnesia.
No mention of vision problems
OK. Neck stuck out, eyes closed, chop away.
“ For behold the tortoise, who makes no progress unless he sticks his neck out.”

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