- Member Since 12th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Sunday
SunnyDontLook
I write horse words. Sometimes people pay me to.
SunnyDontLook
Joined 12th Sep, 2013 ·
Offline
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This was good, one of your best yet.
8840910
Thank you so much! I gotta give credit to my editor, she's been pushing me towards better material!
Bravo wonderful story
Good story, the paragraphs got a little cramped at points but that's pretty minor.
One thing though: your description makes it sound like the story is in second perspective, "you", while it is in first, "I". I'd advise tweaking that, since not everyone is a fan of second person stories (I almost skipped this one because of that) and people who are might be disappointed.
I have to agree with Prism Break, this was one of your best works yet. Well done, well fudging done.
Wow, that was a great clopfic
!
8866631
Thank you for that compliment, feel free to check out my others!
8845419
Thank you. My new editor, other than breaking my balls does a damn good job!
8866704
! One thing I should suggest though: whenever starting a new paragraph or a qoute, put a space between them so the viewers can read it better. That's the only thing that needs to be fixed, but other than that, great job
.
Oh I'll be sure too
A bit late, but, wow. This is a really good lemon... *snrk* It's real. Nothing extraordinary, nothing incredible, yet that with just the littlest bit of emotion sprinkled in makes it really refreshing. I'm glad I stumbled upon this one.
Beautifully written. Job well done.
9024218
Thank you!
8955341
That's what I was going for. I like to think my writing style is grounded. Almost real.