• Published 1st Apr 2018
  • 1,355 Views, 8 Comments

Jack of all trades - Blacklight Brony



Getting hit by a car sucks. Forced away from your family and away from something you practiced for two months will piss you off. Now I have no way of returning home. Plus, I’m still in high school. I’m not even an adult and I’ve seen shit. I’m fucked

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Canterlot welcome

I was kneeling over my bow and short sword with my hand hovering over them and dark magic poring out my hands. I was trying to mix the sword and bow with dark magic to stay on my body sense the bow can’t be carried all the time and the sheath of my sword had the clip snapped off.

‘You know you can open a pocket dimension to store items, right?’ Moon asked incredulously.

Yes, but I don’t want to end it in an explosion like last time. I still owe Applejack for destroying half the eastern orchard.

I shivered at me memory that happened a few days ago. I was trying to create a pocket dimension only for my magic to create a large explosion that went three hundred acers in every direction. I payed the Apple family the rest of what I had that day even after they said it was fine, but I still felt bad. I did destroyed half of the eastern orchard

The bow and sword were finished finally after a few painful hours of kneeling on hard wood floors with your bare knees. The car we bought was empty and spacious. The walls were yellow and the sides were green. I wasn’t sure at first before I stepped inside and felt the enchantment in the train.

I stood up quickly after grabbing my bow and short sword and checked to see if it worked by placing the bow on my back and the sword on my left side. It worked and I looked out side.

I missed my PT for the past month due to the battle with the naga. I wasn’t liking that I was missing valuable exercise time, plus I still needed to use my crutches. Any time I didn’t, my knee would buckle and I’d fall face first into the ground.

I returned to the bed where I just sat for a few minutes. Twilight was sleeping soundly with a content smile. I was elated to know that she was coming with me, but I didn’t like that she left her friend for me. She most likely wouldn’t see them for a year most likely after I did my research.

She woke up and was immediately out of bed. She hugged me with a wide smile as I did the same. She didn’t know where we’re going after we leave Canterlot in two months.

“Hey,” She said in a questioning tone, “where are we going after we leave Canterlot?” I didn’t want to tell her or she could stay with her friends back in Ponyville.

“After Canterlot we’re leaving to Saddle Arabia. I’ve heard of an assassin group that is sparking a revolution against the king to free the slaves. I learned a new skill in fighting and we do a lot of good. You however have friends in Ponyville waiting for you.” She nuzzled my chest lovingly.

“I’m not going anywhere. Your stuck with me.” She gave me a kind smile in which I returned.

The train stopped with a jult making us nearly fall over. We sigh and grab our things. I was told not to worry about clothes as I’ll get armor on my first day and that’s what I’ll be wearing for the entire training camp.

I sighed as I’ve seen the armor they wear and it’s complete shit. It’s gold... the weakest metal in the entire world. It’s unnecessary weight and would clang the entire time so it was horrible for stealth. Not to mention that you could blind each other with the light reflecting off. In short, it’s flawed.

I was writing this in a restaurant we went to before we went to the castle (it was actually a palace) and Twilight asked what I write in here. I showed it to her and didn’t get it back until we left.

We opened the door to the train station with a satisfying click as the door opened. I moved out the way and let Twilight go first because ladies first.

We came face to face with reporters, but after one broke my split and my leg bent in a direction it wasn’t supposed to, they became more subdued.

Twilight and I combined our magic to heal my leg. I was happy that it was at least back to how it was, but the pain still lingered. I splinted my leg with four sticks and gauze.

“Inventive.” Twilight commented.

“Humans are inventive. We wanted to sail across the sea, we did it. We wanted to fly, we did. Sixty years after we made a rocket to get men to the moon and back. We currently have people living in the atmosphere. We may not have claws, sharp teeth, or speed, but we make up for it with our intelligence and we became the most dangerous creature. We started from the bottom and went to the top.” I finished my explanation as I fell I went overboard.

I got up with the help of one of my crutches. I levitated one to me and we went to a restaurant.


We sat at the table and I began to write. After Twilight asked the question, I gave the book to her so she could read it. I took in my surroundings and found the equivalent of a Mexican restaurant in my world.

I could fuck with the waiter so bad right now and I didn’t waste my opportunity. I found what I wanted to eat and placed my menu down with a satisfied smile. Twilight was reading my journal like it’s a book.

“Do you know what your eating?” I asked her. She looked up for a moment before looking down. She had a concentrated look as she observed the note book with intrigue.

“Dandelion sandwich.” She said simply. I sook my head and got on my phone.

I somehow have WiFi and when I checked to see what it was it said, ‘magic, don’t try to understand it’. Don’t ask me to call my parents and saw I’m alright because I’ve tried. I have WiFi, but I can’t as I’ve tried a few times... thirty times.

The waiter walked up to us with quiet dignity which I would dismantle as I’m going to fuck it up.

“(Hello),” he said in Spanish. I smiled as I can mess with him. “What would you like to order?” She was giving off a kind aura to seem non threatening.

“(Yes, I’ll have the nachos with jalapeños and a cola, please.)” I responded in Spanish.

He went slack jawed as I spoke in a complete different language. I heard a object hit the table with a soft thud. I looked over and see my book open with a blank page on it while Twilight had a dropped jaw.

“How do you know that language?!” She yelled. She seemed frazzled with her mane messing up. Her eye twitched in fury.

“My step mother use to only speak Spanish, so I learned it to help her out. She helped me out when I got a word wrong and I did the same.” It was hard and I explained the situation to my principle and he switched me to a Spanish class to help me out. My step mom only needs help occasionally, but it was great bonding time with her.

Twilight smiled before the explication hit her. “Your parents divorced?” Her ears folded down in sorrow. I felt a pang in my heart at the sight as some tears welled up in her eyes.

“Twilight, they divorced ten years ago. I still see my dad for a month and a half every year in total.” It was in the divorce agreement. She seemed calm down after hearing that until a screaming broke the silence.

“Snake!” I bolted as fast as I could to the scream. I saw her and she pointed to the snake. I face palm. The snake was brown, black, and yellow.

“It’s a Florida king snake. They eat other snakes. Seriously, you ponies are easy to set off.” I bent down to my knees and picked up the snake gently. It coiled around my arm and stayed. “Your a calm one aren’t ya.” I said to the snake.

It began to slither around my neck and definitely felt my necklace. It was about three yards long and the coil was around my entire arm.

I heard the clopping of hooves behind me. I didn’t notice the window in front of me. I saw the waiter that took my order in the window.

I turned to the waiter that followed me. “Can I get my food to go please.” I ask and, in return for taking care of the snake, he nodded in confirmation. Twilight walked up to me with my journal in her magic. She was smiling at me with happiness and... was that lust.

“You know a lot about snakes.” She said. I smile and nodded.

“Yup, if you look at my bookshelf, I have three books about snakes. Also, I’ve held snakes before. This one is calm and easier to handle sense it’s really friendly. The venomous snakes are the real ones to look out for.” I held the snake in my hand and gained a wicked smile. “Let’s scare the princess.” Twilight’s eyes widened in horror.

“You can’t do that!” She shouted. The rest of the customers looked at me in horror.

“Of course I can. I technically have diplomatic immunity. Plus, I can show her how to handle snakes. It will allow ponies to hand snakes and they wouldn’t have to die. Win win in my books.” She sight heavily in resignation.

“There’s no talking you out of it, is there?” She had a hopeful smile that was so small I nearly missed it.

“Nope.” It was simple and straight to the point. “This way we’ll have a little fun and we teach her a little bit about snakes.” The snake was slowly curling around my body and seemed to continue until it went to the floor. I used my other hand to pick up the head from the floor and kept the snake from escaping. “Do it again and I’ll grip your neck. It continued to rap itself around my body while I stood there without a care in the world.

“Y-your food sir.” He held up a small container with the nachos. I smiled and nodded as he gave Twilight her food.


We walked through the streets of Canterlot and I couldn’t help but marveled at the buildings. They were pristine and seemed to shine with the sun. I saw a few guards that tried to attack me. It ended quickly with me using the shock wave. The ponies were stuck up and would piss anyone off.

Moon, is there any lightning magic I can learn?

‘Yes, lift your hand that doesn’t have a snake on it and feel the lightning pluse through you. Feel the electrons jump to one another. Then gather it in your palm.’ I didn’t even think as it just happened. The same dark aura surrounded my hand. ‘It seems you have a natural affinity with lightning. Don’t put to much magic in it. Just enough to to paralyze something. The more you use it the strong it’ll get.’ I smiled in acknowledgment.

“You seem happy.” Twilight said and I just showed her my lightning. She widen her eyes in... shock.

Ow! I just got punched by Twilight for making the pun. Back to it.

“I learned that I may have an affinity for lightning magic. Snake, hide in my jacket.” It did so and my magic disappeared.

“You really want to get back at the princess, don’t you.” She asked in acknowledgment of my anger to the solar monarch.

“She could have fixed my leg a month ago. Then I wohave to go to physical therapy.” I was extremely pissed at her for doing that. She said it was an early April fools even though it was February. I have all right to be angry.


We made it to the castle/palace at the edge of the city. I was ready to go to sleep after today’s events.

We went to the museum and found what prehistoric creatures looked like. I made a comment that they look like the mutated animals in the Metro series. I have never seen Twilight so happy when I picked her up and stood, with my crutches leaning against the wall that was to my right, and see the exhibit in a new light.

I set her down and we went to examine the sea creatures exhibits. We found a Megelodon shark that they had no idea what to call it.

After a long talk about prehistoric animals with a curator, we left to see a movie. We saw the pony version of SAW which meant everyone survived. I sighed as the ponies accidentally lowered my explanations of a horror movie made by them. It wasn’t even called SAW, it was called PAW. The director saw my disappointment of the movie and asked me to show them mine. Suffice to say, everyone was not sleeping to night.

Twilight was huddled up against me the entire time and I had to carry her to a park where we just relax to take her mind off the movie. It was calming and she asked me how I haven’t jumped at the movie.

I showed them Dawn Of The Dead. I consider of showing them The Ring, but decided against it so ponies would at least get some sleep. I’ll show the guards to see them piss their pants... armor.

We stayed there for two hours until we came to the castle/palace. We strolled in easily or as easily as I could with crutches. I saw guards I beat easily glaring at me with malice.

I promptly ignored them and stayed with my marefriend as she called her self. I heard the law of Equis and it said that if mated, a female is tied to the male. I figured it out during the party Pinkie threw after I got out of the hospital.

We walked into the throne room and fought the Two alicorn sisters on their thrones. “Hello Luna, Celestia, and Solar Flare.” Celestia’s eyes widen in shock. I don’t think she knew about me knowing her divine.

“How do you—“ I cut her off quickly to stop her from using her magic on me.

“I have one too.” Dark energy formed around my hand. Electricity crackled which causes her to flinch.

“What’s their name?” She asked. “I thought Twilight was trying to pull a prank when she said you have magic.”

“Her name is Moon. Nightmare Moon.” Luna and Celestia lit up at that but the guards took it differently as they thrusted a spear at me. I dodged backwards where I landed broken leg first and the makeshift splint broke as my leg snapped in two. “FUCK!” I was writhing on the ground in my own pain when the guards lifted their spears over me, ready to strike and kill me before Twilight got over me and stared diffidently.

“Twily!” A guard said as his spear was hovering over me.

“You will not hurt him!” She yelled at the pony that yelled a nick name of some sort.

“Your under his control! Come over here and let us deal with him! He must die in order to stop Nightmare Moon!” He yelled.

I wasted no time and sent lightning form in my hand in an instant. The dark energy forming around my hand let me know it’s dark magic. I shot the lightning at him which connected to the rest, frying them, but not killing them.

Twilight looked at me with tears in her eyes. She hugged me with as much force as she can muster as I did the same with tears in my eyes.

“Guards, I know of the divine he has. We had to make her seem evil to protect the rest of the divines. The last five of their kind.” Celestia explained. The guards were still on the ground with shock expressions. They pulled them selves up and rotted to me.

“Sorry for trying to kill you.” He said sorrowfully.

“Ya, fuck you for breaking my leg a second time.” I felt warmth around me as a golden aura surrounded me. My body mended and I felt as good as new. “Thank you Celestia.”

“That’s—“ The one that knew Twilight was cut off by her.

“He is not a citizen of my nation. He is a friend of the elements and a special friend to a curtain mare.” Twilight blushed at the implication of her being my marefriend.

“You mean...”

“We already mated, shining.” She said somehow jumping on my neck and staying there.

“You mated with my sister.” His fury was showing.

“In fairness I was victim to heat. Not mine, but her’s.” I said in my defense. I could go at him one on one, but I have only four days of training. For good measure I drew my bow. “Calm down.” He looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown and attack something. “If you don’t calm down I’ll fire an arrow into your leg.”

He began to calm down while Twilight and I left for our room. The events that took place in the bedroom will not be described in journal.


We woke up with the Canterlot castle wake up of a maid walking in on up. She closed the door as we were still not dressed or I wasn’t.

I took a shower which felt nice after yesterday’s events. I got dressed in cargo shorts and a back shirt. Rarity made them after she realized what they were. She didn’t want me going around in a combat uniform.

I grabbed my sword, gun, and bow as I headed to the guard training ground. What I saw was a large orb that was completely black. It look kind of awesome to be honest. I saw many guards, maids, and three princesses. The third was was lost to me. I walked up to them and greeted them.

“Hello.” I said to the three. It was a start to meet the new one.

“Hello... Blacklight, correct?” She asked. She had pink fur and feathers that ended in purple. She was a foot shorter than me which came to a surprise to me. Celestia was a foot taller than me, Luna was as tall as me, and this one smaller.

“Correct.” I confirmed with a soft smile. I saw Celestia with a smug smile and I knew bad tidings were coming.

“Oh, and by the way, Blacklight. You may have put a silencing spell on the room, but I still heard.” She just said that out in the open. I blushed as the others looked at me with a suggestive grin.

“So who’s thuo’s lucky mare.” Luna asked. I mumbled my answer. “Who was it.”

I sighed heavily at her prying. “Twilight.” That got them to back off. They stared shock at me as they didn’t know. Luna had to have heard it or she teleported off to worn her night guards.

“If you four are done,” I heard shining say behind me, “we need you to step in their for a moment.” He gave me a wooden sword.

“What is this for?” I asked incredulously. I was still skeptical after last night.

“You need a weapon to put in the machine or it won’t work. It will modify the weapon. ” I threw the sword away and took out my hand beretta M9. I found the slot and placed it in. A sound signified that it started. A door like object lift ed up and there was an indentation of an pony, but sense it’s magical, it molded itself into a human shape. I settled into the shape when shining pick his head in. “Just to let you know, we’ll hear you but you can’t hear us.” I didn’t have time to question it when the door slid closed with me inside it.

I felt my cloths disappear and some new ones reapply. I felt a hood and balaclava over my head as it finished. The door opened as I fell out face first. I got up shakily and saw Twilight over me with worry crossing her face.

I stood to my full height and found my pistol but it was different. I knew both pretty well.

I examined the pistol that I never seen on the market but still got information of. It looked like it was made of dragon scales and seemed to glow red.

“The Rsh-12 five round revolver and most powerful assault gun. Height is six point three inches. Length is fourteen point one inches. Width is two point one inches. Weight is four point nine pounds. Fires a twelve point seven by fifty five millimeter STs-130 round. Duel action revolver. Made in Russia, in service sense 2014, and used by The Federal Security Service.” I paused for a moment before a thought crossed my mind. “How did I know everything exactly. All I knew was the rounds used and and the length before going in there.”

“The machine will implant information into your mind in order to help you clean it properly and gives all information on it. If you want, I can make a duplicate of one round as you called it and make many others of that duplicate.” Celestia explains which caused me to unload one round.

Her eyes widened when she saw the three inch bullet. It was the Round with a silver bullet in it. It was extremely pointy and would be a pain to step on... if you miss a three inch bullet.

“Wow. That was bigger than the other one.” She said. I mumbled under my breath a little joke but Twilight was right beside me and heard it. I got punched in the leg.

She duplicated it and I took one back. I loaded the gun easily like I’ve had one for years.

“Before we test your modified weapon, look at your armor.” Shining said gesturing to a mirror that was obviously conjured there. My jaw dropped at the armor I wore as it was from Skyrim.

I was wearing the nightingale armor from Skyrim. I looked at my wrist as it looked a little different, but not by much. It was a gauntlet from assassin’s creed syndicate. They both were, but only one had the grappling hook. The gold was switched to black to fit the nightingale armor. The one with the grappling hook was on my right hand. I looked at the other one and found it was the hidden blade that acted like a cross bow.

I felt tings on my middle finger and turned around. I smiled wickedly, but no one saw it. I lifted my hands and shrugged before deploying my hidden blades making everyone jump.

“This is either good or bad. Good, I have my favorite armor and gauntlets from games. Bad, both of them are from assassin’s in games. Who needs an assassin!” I laugh until I land on my knees as I pretty much just scared the entire crowd. I opened my eyes and my body disappeared. “No fucking way! I can disappear like if I was in ghost recon! Badass!” That got me to reappear like in the game. “I’m the ultimate gamer.” I didn’t realize I still had my bow or sword.

“Well That was an experience.” I heard Twilight say. She’s right, this was an experience. A great one.

“I agree. Now you can say you saw it.” I pulled down my hood and balaclava. My face turned serious in an instant. “My best guess is that the machine goes off of powers and abilities. I manipulated darkness when I use dark magic. Also Eagle Eye would look more terrifying. I meant to look more intimidating as well as to help with my quest to learn as many fighting styles. This is one stop of many.” They must already be strong enough to take a sword or else it’s to show their innocence.

“I see. We just thought it made this armor. I guess it gave us gold fore some resin.” Shining said with a thoughtful expression.

“Well, at least we got to do a little sight seeing.” Twilight said. “See you later Blacklight.” She waved goodbye. I braved myself for training as the two months begins.

Author's Note:

There will be a two month skip as the character finds out how bad the guards are. They are absolut crap in the real tv show.