Forgery

by DarthMaul22

Chapter 5

War…

War never changes.

It’s always two sides, and a battlefield. Both sides trying to defeat the other, whether it be out of self-defense or an attempt at dominance.

Two competitors. One victor. No exceptions.

It was with great sorrow that I found myself on the side of self-defense.

When I had gotten home, I immediately knew I was going to need a base of operations. A point to hold out from. I decided to try and clean out my room for once, and it had since proved more than adequate. I even found a second mate to accompany me in these grave and desperate times. It was a homemade Human doll I had stitched together a couple years back. I had always wondered what had happened to Humie, but now he was safe (relatively), and I knew he would stand by me until the bitter end.

I was now stationed behind my barricade, a sturdy thing constructed of pillows and cardboard in the space of my doorway. I was outfitted with my marshmallow gun, fully loaded, and had prepared five extra clips, just in case. I also had a bucket from the kitchen sink’s cupboard serving as a helmet, the handle acting as a chinstrap, whereas Humie had a plastic bowl with some masking tape. It wasn’t the best, but it would do.

My comrade was currently patrolling the immediate area outside the barricade with the help of my magic. He wasn’t alive, but it was good enough for me. With his positioning, he could easily jump back to my side of the bit of cover if need be.

Content that Humie would stick to his fairly simple patrol route, I gave the battlefield another once-over. Bon Bon would no doubt come through the front door. Of that much, I was certain. At that point, though, she had a choice. She could either cut across the kitchen to the set of stairs that led to my room’s side of the loft, or she could keep going straight and up the other set of stairs, and gain access by walking across the loft itself. As such, I had laid numerous traps and other things set to fire on her – some on each path.

At the door, I had a simple tripwire attached to a bucket, set to spill water on her. Along the staircases and parallel to the loft, I had simple catapult-like contraptions designed to hurl eggs at face level. Topped with my wide range of possible lines of sight with my own firearm, I figured I had sufficient force at my disposal.

My goal was to incapacitate her so I could try and talk it out. Maybe I could blackmail or reason with her to make her stop spying on me. I hoped I could resolve it at that point. If not… well, I didn’t want to think about that. I’m a little squeamish.

Within the confines of my base, I had a system of strings rigged to different sections of egg-apults. I wasn’t stupid – I realized they would only have one shot at firing, and in a set direction, too. That’s why I had an extra carton or two of unborn chickens set aside next to me, in case of grenade scenarios.

I concluded, once again, that my arsenal was adequate, and once again resumed waiting for everything to hit the fan.

---

“Got any five’s?”

“Go fish.”

“Grr…” I grumbled as I levitated another card from the deck. A two.

“Got any two’s?”

“Son of a muffin!” I shouted, throwing my hoof of cards down on the floor in frustration. It had been comprised entirely of two’s. “That’s your sixth victory in a row, Humie. I swear you’re cheating.”

“You’re just jealous ‘cuz I got mo swag than you.”

“Shut up.” I muttered at him, crossing my hooves and looking away. He was right, of course. I was starting to regret finding that deck of cards amidst the rest of the junk that was in my room.

After a silence that lasted an entire two minutes (new record!), I looked back at him. “You wanna go for another-“

I cut off as I heard the click of a doorknob. The door creaking as it swung open. The gentle ‘clop, clop, clop’ of hoofsteps, and finally a voice I was both eager and dreading to hear.

“Lyra? I’m h-“

SPLASH

My breath had caught when I heard the door open, and now I could feel my face start to turn blue as I waited for the words that would signal the start of the battle.

Fortunately for my lungs, I didn’t have to wait long. When her voice came, it was low, guttural, and teeming with barely constrained rage.

“Lyra…”

---

“Humie! Section C!” I barked, rattling a few more sugary rounds in what I presumed was Bon Bon’s general direction.

Humie gave a salute and pulled the indicated rope, releasing the egg-apults on the nearer stairs. A few grunts signaled a successful hit.

It had been almost two minutes, now. At this rate, I would be able to get her to surrender right as she arrived at my barricade. It would be close, but completely worth it. The eggs also had the unintended side-effect of making the marshmallows stick to her mane and coat. It was pretty comical. I would’ve laughed if I weren’t busy fighting for my life.

I blindly fired a few more rounds before hearing a ‘click click click’ that signified I was running on empty. I ducked back behind my barricade. “Reloading!”

Okay, I’ll admit that was completely useless since my only teammate was being controlled directly by me. It still seemed appropriate.

After my Sugar Shot 9001 had a fresh clip of s’mores ingredients, Humie and I peeked back over our shared cover.

“She’s halfway up the stairs!” Humie announced in his best impersonation of Captain Obvious.

“I noticed!” Cue suppressive fire!

I whipped my gun out proper and fired right at her face, squeezing the trigger with my magic for dear life. I even managed to poke one of her eyes! Now, if I could just get the other…

‘CLICK CLICK CLICK’

Dang it! I ducked back down and reloaded. I only had two extra clips left. I’d have to make them count. While I was down, Humie covered me by chucking two eggs back over the wall of feathers. Double-checking that the clip was in place, I whipped back up, ready to marshmallow my roommate half to death.

Unfortunately, Bon Bon had used my down time to advance even further. She was right in front of my doorway, and she was not amused at my attacks so far. As soon as I pulled back up, she grabbed my weapon by the barrel with her teeth and flung it off the loft and into the kitchen. I paid ten bits for that!

In the moment of shock, Humie managed to set off all the remaining egg-apults.

I gulped.

“Um, hey Bon. ‘Sup?”

Her frown turned into a scowl.

“Lyra, look at the walls and tell me what you see.” Her voice was calm and didn’t match her face at all!

I did what she said. I was unarmed, and Humie was either just as shocked as I was, or he was being a lazy backstabber and not using the moment to chuck a couple more eggs. Whatever. Traitor.

There was a thin, glossy layer over nearly square inch of wall in the kitchen, polka-dotted with yolks and stray sugary bullets every few feet. Not even the dining set had been spared. All that was going to take quite a while to clean. I looked back at my roommate and saw that she wasn’t faring much better. Though, she had significantly more marshmallows in her mane.

I didn’t laugh.

Neither did she.

Had I really done all that?

She held me in her gaze for a few more seconds before sighing slightly in resignation. Part of me hoped I was off the hook.

“Lyra, I…I think it’s best if you moved out.”

Wait. What?

She turned to leave to her room. “I’ll give you a few hours to pack your things.”

Comments

[DarthMaul22]

Hello! This is the part where I kill you! screw up the pacing even more!

So, the few comments that bothered to say what they liked about the story said that the first-person perspective helps with fleshing out Lyra's character.

...would you guys believe me if I said I have no sense of characterization/character development?

Anyway, hope you enjoy, and as always, feel free to point out any errors/concerns.

[Dan50]

Poor Lyra :(

[Exuno]

Yes, yes I would believe you if you said that. Luckily, as you've demonstrated, being able to sense characterization isn't required to pull it off.

But Gasp! Real drama! And I don't think it could have been paced any better. Reaching a climax of insanity and using that to inject reality may not be original, but that's because it works.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the tone will shift from this point, and I've got faith that you'll be able to do it well.

[DarthMaul22]

1211503
Thanks, it means a lot.

As for the tonal shift, don't worry. I still plan on having a good dose of silliness.

EDIT: Also, 'inject reality'? We are talking about a world full of talking, pastel horses, correct?

I just realized...I forgot to put a major plot point in... YOU SAW NOTHING

[Bomber]

Oh God, Lyra's now a war general.

But it all honestly, I would probably do the same thing if I were in Bon-Bon's position. Lyra's getting a just a little crazy at this point, and who knows what other shenanigans she's going to get herself into.

Lyra and Humie also remind me of Twilight and Smarty Pants. I think it's cute.

[DarthMaul22]

1223719
Do you know anyone I could ask to make a picture of Lyra with her Sugar Shot 9001? I think it'd make an excellent cover picture.

[Bomber]

1224207 Hahaha no. I would volunteer, but oh wait! I can't draw...