Smashy smashy

A loud knocking at the door woke Vinyl from her nap, which caused her to fall off her couch and into the pile of empty soda cans and cider bottles that did not cushion her fall in any way. Vinyl groaned as she swam out of the mess that would surely have her completely platonic roommate go on one of her famous rants about the DJ never cleaning up after herself and setting up more meetings with “Soda and Cider Drinkers Anonymous” a group that Vinyl refused to believe actually existed.

Another series of loud knocks caused the mare to jump out off the floor and rush to the door in annoyance, but before she could open it the sound of wood breaking could be heard from the other side. Suddenly, the round end of a crowbar burst through the wooden door. The owner of the crowbar bashed more chunks out of the door before kicking the rest down.

Vinyl slowly looked up from the remains of her former front door and saw an angry human standing over her with a crowbar grasped tightly in booth hands. This human had only one question for the mare before him.

“Where is your bathroom?” He asked with a chilling voice that would cause the average high school student to shiver.

Vinly’s mouth slowly opened, but no words came out. Instead she pointed to the stairs then pointed left.

“Upstairs on the left, go it. Now move, I have a date with destiny.” The human on a mission stated with determination as he pushed passed the pony and marched up the stairs.

Vinyl was left to process what had just happened, but found herself unable to due to the fact she had been forced from her cider induced nap. Shaking her head she slowly followed Anon to the second floor of the house and headed towards the bathroom. Before she could walk into the room however, she heard a loud smashing sound. Rushing in, she found Anon had smashed a piece of the bathtub/shower.

“What are you doing?!” The DJ screamed in horror. “Tavi will kill me if she comes back to this?!”

“Not my problem.” Anon shrugged off the mare’s protest and swung his crowbar at the exposed pipes of the shower, causing water to start sprinkling over the bathroom. Not satisfied with this, he struck the pipes again and again until the water came pouring out at an alarming rate.

“Why are you breaking my shower?!”

“I’m not breaking your shower, I’m breaking Octavia’s shower.” Anon corrected before smashing another piece of the bathtub, the water soaking his clothes and Vinyl’s mane.

“Ok then, why the buck are you breaking Octavia’s shower?!”

“Why not her shower?” Anon retorted as he grabbed the shower curtains, threw them to the ground and began beating them with the crowbar.

Vinyl moved to stop the madness until she heard hoofsteps coming from the hallway, and a familiar British voice echoed out.

“Vinyl? Why is the door broken? Is everything alri....” Octavia began before trailing off as she entered the bathroom and found Anon merciless beating her fancy shower curtains. “Anon? What are you doing?! ...what have you done to my shower?!” She demanded with as much British anger she could muster into her posh little voice.

“I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing.” Anon answered as he pulled his crowbar back and began taking swings at the shower head. “I’m breaking your fucking shower.”

“Why my bucking shower?!”

“Why not your fucking shower?”

“You are so paying for a new bathroom after this!”

“Nope.” Anon answered back with little interest as he continued to abuse the shower and bathtub with a bored expression. “This is fate, fate has no price.”

“What are you blabbering on about?! Why are you doing this?!” Octavia begged as Vinyl slowly slipped out to drink away the memory of the event.

“I have a crowbar, crowbars break stuff, I’m just fulfilling its purpose.” The human explained absentmindedly as he grabbed the shower hose and began to swing it about, chipping off pieces of the remaining bathtub and wall tiles. The water had now flooded the floor and began to pour into the hallway.

“Anon stop this at once or I swear, I will shove so many rich tea biscuits up your flank that ponies will-“

“Yeah yeah whatever gets you off Tavi.” Anon interrupted as he tossed the shower house out the window and began to beat the bathtub taps, denting them and causing more water to flow out into the flood that had probably began to leak through the floorboards by that point.

At last, the shower was destroyed, and Octavia could only look in horror at the devastation. “Why?” She whispered. “Why would you do this?”

Anon then turned to her and pointed an accusing finger at her. “Fuck your shower, it’s as boring and uninteresting as you.” He said before he walked out of the bathroom, leaving Octavia to sit in the wreckage a twitching mess of confusion and very British anger.

As Anon reaches the bottom floor of the house, he saw Vinly chugging down a bottle of hard cider in the living room with her eyes closed. Anon then walked over to her and smashed the bottle with his crowbar.

“Dude what the heck?! That glass could have hurt me!” Vinyl screamed in surprise.

“Not as much as the drinking hurts your family and friends.” Anon stated as he threw a business card in her face. “Soda and Cider Drinkers Anonymous can help, we’ll see you on Tuesday.” He stated finally before taking his leave, leaving behind the broken and confused Octavia, a very confused Vinyl, and a very much destroyed shower.

Anon looked back on the event as he walked home, crowbar in hand. What he had done had surely broken that shower, yes, it was a very broken shower indeed, now Octavia would think twice before having a shower in her home.

Anon very much did break Octavia’s shower.

Author's Note:

Requested by some douchebag, done because I was bored

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Comments ( 25 )

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Super Trampoline

Super Trampoline #1 · Mar 31st, 2018 · · ·

I hate when anon breaks my shower.

Dustchu

Dustchu #2 · Mar 31st, 2018 · 5 · ·

This makes me happy in ways I can't properly describe, lmfaoooo

Dellinger

Dellinger #3 · Mar 31st, 2018 · 1 · ·

8830933

truebuckshot

truebuckshot #4 · Mar 31st, 2018 · 1 · ·

Reminds me of the DnD campaign where my fire breathing dragonborn got drunk and decided it was a good idea to break every statue in a lords manor house. Why? Because why not? Besides, when you're three times bigger than everyone else in the vicinity, can swing and can breathe fire at will, who the hell is gonna stop you?

LILDASHIEGRINGO