Gabby Comes to the Friendship School

by Creativa-Artly01

Chapter 2

Early the next morning, Gabby and Silverstream are up before the sun. The two then open the window and head out on a fly, closing the window quietly behind them. As the two fly, they goof off, share jokes, and laughs. "So," says Gabby curiously, "what's it like being a seapony and a royal at that?"

"It's interesting," says Silverstream. "It does get boring sometimes though. When I'm a hippogriff, when I'm flying, I feel free, I feel there's more adventure to be had. That's one of the main reasons I jumped on the chance to go to Twilight's Friendship School."

"Cool, tell me more!" says Gabby excitedly. Silverstream nods and continues.

"As a Seaquestria royal, most of my job was to interact with seaponies that need help of some sort or another, and that got boring really fast. Often times, on my down time, I would go on swims or flies with my cousin Skystar. I kind of miss her and hopes she comes by the school for a visit soon."

A few hours later, the two arrive back at the school and head off to their first class of the day: RD's Loyalty Class. Once in there, Gabby is called up to the front of the class. "Students!" says Rainbow Dash. "Meet our new student, Gabby. She's come all the way from Griffonstone to be with us."

"Hi," says Gabby shyly. She then goes back to her seat next to Silverstream. Rainbow then begins the lesson.

"Loyalty," says Rainbow Dash, "is always being there for your friends no matter what. It's leaning on them when you need help. To display this, we're going to be doing trust falls today. Partner up!"

"Wanna partner?" says Gabby turning to Silverstream.

"You read my mind," says Silverstream. The two then partner up and do their trust falls, each taking turns catching each other. As they and the others do this, Rainbow walks around and observes their progress.

"Good, good," says Rainbow. "Trust is a major part of loyalty. Good job!" She then flies back up to the front and a few minutes later, dismisses the class and they then head off to their next class, Applejack's Honesty Class. There, they learn about how the truth is a good thing as well as learning not to take honesty to far. After that, they have a lunch break before doing Rarity's Generosity Class, Pinkie's Laughter Class, and Fluttershy's Kindness class.

After their classes wrap up for the day, everyone goes out to the lake and chill. At the lake, Silverstream transforms back into her seapony form and goes for a swim. "Ah!" she sighs. "This feels so good. It's so nice to be back in water again." Seeing Silverstream's example, Ocellus turns into a fish and swims in the lake right along with her. Meanwhile, the rest of the friends talk on the shore nearby as they watch their friends enjoy themselves in the lake. A few minutes later, Ocellus and Silverstream return to their other forms and the friends all then head out to the school gardens where they are met by Fluttershy.

"Hi guys," says Fluttershy sweetly. "How have you been enjoying your afternoon?"

"It's been great!" exclaims Gabby. "I love it here at the Friendship School."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," responds Fluttershy. She then waves goodbye as the friends run and fly off together. "So glad they all enjoy it here," sighs Fluttershy as she puts the butterfly from her hoof back on the bush in the garden and flies back towards her own classroom.

As for Gabby, as she continues to fly next to Silverstream, the girls can't help but agree they are now definitely the best of friends and that fact is not going to change anytime soon.

Comments

[Bookish Delight]

Oh, hey, I had this idea too.

Have fun with it, it's a good one.

[Garble]

I like this story. It's very interesting!

[Creativa-Artly01]

8825725
I fixed the whole why he's in Griffonstone thing. He's there with Twily and Starlight's permission.

[Bronze Knight]

8825820
Okay, I've re-read chapter one and it is...still not very good.

Look, it takes a train ride to get near Griffonstone. It is not a simple fly back and forth trip.

Gallus and students call her "Princess" or "Professor". They did so even when out of class.

Your use of "then did this" essentially is overused and makes the reading poor.

Why is Sapphire Heart a thing? We already have six other characters. Pointless OC is pointless.

Twilight just says "sure" super easily when this entire school thing involves a lot of diplomatic drama. There's only ONE of each race for a reason, and Grandpa Gruff - who seems to have some form of control here - isn't even addressed.

The main characters saying things like "I'm very shy" and "I'm very energetic" is terrible. It sounds like you just copy and pasted a wiki page for their descriptions. "I'm a cousin of Skystar" - why would she say this? Her aunt being Queen Novo is one thing, but how often do you name your cousin? How often do you tell someone you are shy as an introduction? Or energetic? Those are things that you use descriptive body language to convey (unless another person says their shy based on their actions).

Look at Twilight's meeting with her friends. We understood Fluttershy was shy because her meekly introducing herself. We understood she loved animals because of her excitement with Spike. Most people don't describe themselves unless asked what they liked to do. I mean they might boast ("Hey, I'm Smolder, the coolest dragon you'll ever meet!") but not just describe what they like to do.

Finally, Yona talks in third person; she refers to herself as "Yona" or "Yak" instead of "I".
"Yona likes cupcakes," Yona said. "Yak best at eating cupcakes."

When writing a chapter, you want to keep it at one to two scenes. These are your scenes in chapter one:

-Griffonstone
-School
-Back to Griffonstone
-Back to School
-Dorms

You wrote five scenes in the span of a very short chapter. You rushed to get her to the school.

[OmniFox]

So far so good.

[Traveling Soul]

This is intresting

[TerraZeal]

I like all stories with the school of friendship, but some of the scene changes are kind of rushed. Not a bad start though. I honestly wondered WHY it was Gallus and not Gabby in the first place. She wanted to be around ponies, and would probably have loved going to a school with them. Of course, she seems more interested in the CMC, so maybe she would rather attend their school. After all, Gabby already seems to understand friendship. I don't think she needs lessons. I can see her wanting to go, though.