• Member Since 27th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Jay David


Just a guy from Britain who loves MLP.

Sequels1

E

A week has passed since the tumultuous opening of the School of Friendship, and everycreature has settled into their time there. In the midst of this, two recent friends, Sandbar and Gallus, have a chat with each other during their lunch break.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

I've been waiting for a story like this.

Poor Gallus...

This was hilariuos :pinkiehappy:

We got new character tags realy fast.

come on Gallus or sandbar ONE OF YOU has love for the other all i have to do is reveal it somehow perhaps a spell of my own design to make love fields visible? it also reveals WHO that love is intended for but yes i HEAVILY ship Gallus and sandbar

Very cute and very innocent :twilightsmile:



...



Innocent indeed :trixieshiftright:

Keep up the good work my good man :pinkiehappy:

I expected this to be exactly this way.

"Huh...so she's got the Mom angle too? Huh...sweet."

I like Gallus's thinking on this.

“Seems pretty hot actually, one day you could be dating her, and then the next, boom, it could be like you're dating anyone! Yona, Twilight, Princess Luna, you name it!"

I.....also like his thinking on this, but I feel like I shouldn't.

"On my honour as a Griffon...no dirty talk."

Somehow that's still not very reassuring.

"Yeah...probably should've told you...we Griffons don't really have much honour."

Yeah, thought so.

Totally called that one. :rainbowlaugh:

Well, Ocellus is the best even without the shapeshift thing so I approve.

BenRG #10 · 3 weeks ago · · 8 ·

Gender discrimination in treatment of people. Guys can't objectify girls but girls are doing something wrong, socially, if they don't objectify guys!

"Seriously, Sandy, this conversation's gonna bereallyboring if all you're gonna do is play the knight in shining armour with me."

Shining Armor is a very different pony. He's the brother of your headmistress and the Prince of an Empire. And the father to the single cutest character in the show.

"Yeah...probably should've told you...we Griffons don't reallyhavemuch honour."

And this is why you're my favorite member of the Student Six.

8831519
Grammatical all people are objects.

Okay, this was a funny story. Good Job!

This was very funny. I liked it!

"Yeah...probably should've told you...we Griffons don't really have much honour."

Dammit, saw that one coming. It's ok, Gallus means chicken in latin.

Okay, that was pretty funny. Of course Gallus would be the dirty talker. Though, I didn't expect Silverstream to start a conversation like that. I definitely agree with Sandbar though, Ocellus is pretty adorable.

Reading this makes me wish I wasn’t so behind on all the pony stuff. I don’t think i got very far in season 7. Haven’t even seen the mlp movie yet, or anything EQG. really should watch them when i get a chance.

That was silly. I chuckled.

One minor criticism: you're not writing inches of scroll for Professor McGonagall here. No need to double space between paragraphs, especially when they're that short.

8832414
Also, the dialogue doesn't have to be a paragraph all its own. The only rule is that there be a separate paragraph for each speaker. Action tags go in the same paragraph as dialogue. In stories as dialogue-heavy as yours tend to be, this weird choice really stands out and distracts from the actual story you're telling.

SO TRUE.
When I was in basic training the guys are all business, joking here and there.
I found out the girls were just raunchy sex crazed creatures, which explained why they did so many more push ups.
:rainbowlaugh:

"Seriously, Sandy, this conversation's gonna be really boring if all you're gonna do is play the knight in shining armour with me."

Suddenly, a shadow fell on the both of them. Looking up, they were faced with the smiling face of a tall, broad-shouldered white Unicorn stallion in rich armour. "Hey, guys. I'm Shining Armor. I heard you talking about your teachers and I just wanted to step in before either of you says anything about my sister."

This was great. I was laughing the entire time.

YAS!! THE SHIP WILL SAIL...

soon or so sooon

I laughed, I cried, but I mostly laughed. Well done!

Very amusing. Nothing dramatic or dark, just a really cute and funny fic. Greatly enjoyed this!

8832797
I tip my hat off to you.

Gallus is the best creature in the Student Six.

Also, a story from Jay David that isn't part of any timeline? Who are you and what have you done to the best fanfic writer on this site?!

Women are not pure. Or at least, no purer than we are.

8831452
DON'T KINK SHAME ME, BRO!

What would happen if Twilight enrolled Spike in school?

That moment when you realize you had somehow missed that Smolder is a she. :rainbowderp:

But personal oversights aside, still a cute story. :twilightsmile:

8832738
Uh................yeah I got nothing.

This is something I can honestly see them talking about. You nailed the character spot on and that's something you don't see too often. Great job!

"Where's the fun in that? "

8832797
Shining let them simmer for a bit before continuing.
"She OBVIOUSLY has the number one flank in equestria, and if you say otherwise, I'll find out, OK?"

:trollestia:

8836276
Yeah, I'm still wondering how I managed to do that myself, because in retrospect it seems so obvious... :rainbowlaugh:

*Bang Bang Bang* Hm? Oh don't mind me, just building a ship:heart: Now let me see......Ocelbar or Sandellus?.........

#1 Good story! Definitely a fun little read

#2 The spacing is all weird and annoying. You don't need to triple space that often. Seriously, don't be afraid of paragraphs and single or at least double spacing @.@

That was very cute and funny. Mad props!

If I didn’t know any better I’d say this guy has something against putting dialogue and normal text together in a single paragraph.

8849855
Eh? That's the recommended stylistic choice. Putting dialogue inside a paragraph with narration looks sloppy. The only thing I'd change here would be the unnecessary punches of the enter key in between.

Juria #44 · 1 week ago · · ·

This was fun. No big, grandiose story arc, no major drama, just goofy fun. Also, yep definitely on board the Sandellus ship. Now we just need one for Gallus, hmm, Smolder?

You accidentally say Smodler instead of Smolder when Gallus talks about how tough she is.

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