Every night, Twilight Sparkle sleepwalks to the shore of a river in the Everfree. She knows she needs to get to the opposite side, but flying, teleporting, and canoeing have all failed. When Zecora finds her there one night, she offers to train her in Zebrican magic to get her across.
Together, Twilight and Zecora discover themselves and each other. And as their relationship deepens, the river beckons to Twilight ever more, calling to her flesh, destiny pulling at the marrow.
This is a story of coming-of-age for alicorns, of discovering love even as life seems to dissolve into the air around you, of making peace with your purpose and rebuilding confidence; a story about zebras and Equestria as a whole, about peace and exploration.
[This is a Twicora story. The perspective is experimental; "I" is Twilight Sparkle and "you" is Zecora.
The teen rating is for some language and thematic elements, one mention of masturbation, a conversation about suicide, and excessive cuddling.]
Inspired by both this and this. Source for the cover art is here.
1) Don't put your ship name in the title and stuff. Do. Not.
2)
It's spelled 'suicide'.
8806978
Agreed here. Though it did catch my attention. The "Twilight" "Zecora" "Romance" tags do that on their own already
8806984
Unless there is a secret ghost tag~
8806990
There is also the OC tag. Which to be very fair to the poster would worry me if they didn't mention it in the description. But they still didn't need it in the story name.
8807005
I vote for the secret ghost tag.
8806978
I put "(Flutterdash)" in the title of my last fanfic but I think you might be right; I'll take it off. And thanks for pointing out the spelling error, I'll fix that right now.
8807024
Eyy, no prob
I have found this to be perhaps the most profound story I have read in a long time. Your skill with writing and the style you used were amazing. I feel as if through reading this story I have found a missing piece of me. In this case it was my honor to read this, such an amazing piece writing.
8843034
Thank you! I can't express how much your praise means to me. While I was writing it, I felt like I was straining to capture something just out of reach. That profoundness, the writing style, I wasn't sure if it any of it ever actually got onto the page. It makes me incredibly happy that you saw those things in this piece. ;u;
I'm so glad I could help you; I'm so glad you found a missing piece! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
Thank you for sharing “the Other Side”. You set a very high bar for yourself. This is an ambitious story, with an unusual structure (the pseudo 2nd person ‘written letter’), a seldom used pairing (Twicora), extensive world building, and challenging subject matter. Any story that deals with Zecora’s rhyming language also has an extra burden to carry.
There were many things I liked about the story. I enjoy stories the explore the relationship between Twilight and Zecora, and am a fan of the rare Twicora pairing. I liked the slowly rising romantic tension and the resolution between them. I liked a lot of the world building.
I am especially interested in scenarios where Zecora trains Twilight. I heard a rumor there was once a plan in the show to have Zecora be Twilight’s mentor in magic, but that the writers decided to take the show in a different direction. The Zebra magic that you posit in the story was very interesting, and Twilight’s challenges and progress in learning it seemed reasonable. Twilight’s new situation at the end of the story also felt like an organic outgrowth of who she is as a character in canon.
One of the challenges that the plot structure you selected forced you to deal with was how to keep Twilight focused on Zecora, instead of reaching out to her friends, including the rest of the Mane 6, Starlight, Spike, and the other Princesses. Twilight loves all of them (platonically), and they love her. I feel like it is important to properly honor those relationships. You did deal with the issue in the story, but I think that the reasons for Twilight not bring them in, or them not intervening sooner, could have been handled more artfully.
I think that some of the world building on the other side of the river was very inventive. But it felt like it all came out in a rush. Twilight spends seven chapters beating her head metaphorically against the challenge of the river, and then there are a bunch of revelations in a chapter and a half. There was so much mysticism in the build up, that there were almost too many revelations in the end. To maintain the tone of the story, you could have had slightly fewer revelations, maintained more of an aura of mystery, and left Twilight and Zecora with additional challenges to deal with in their future.
All in all this feels like a worthy story with some flaws. I am glad you shared it with us, and would be very interested in any of the sequels you mentioned in your Author's Note.
8851913
I appreciate the long comment! I'm glad you liked the story. It was definitely harder to write in this perspective than in my comfort zone of third person, but I have actually used the style before in a non-fanfiction short story that I ended up scrapping. So I had some experience with it. A lot of the subject matter came from my attempts to express how I feel in life right now, and much of the more serious aspects, like the ideas surrounding one's own death, came from thoughts constantly running through my head. Zecora's rhyming definitely gave me some trouble though. (And for anyone struggling with writing Zecora, I recommend taking a look at this nifty site.)
I'm glad you felt romantic tension, I was worried I rushed that part of the story too much. And I'm glad you liked the worldbuilding--I love to worldbuild, especially in the unique and crazy universe of MLP.
It took me a while to think up what Zecora's magic must be like, but I'm actually really pleased with the results.
It feels perfect for an intense anime battle.It's something I've already thought about recycling into original works, and I'll definitely be exploring it more in any sequels., ", <3 ;* : ' \( #u#\) Thank you. This is high praise, and I'm really glad that it came out like that in the story.
Absolutely. I tried to write it as plausibly as possible, and in the end I'm still unsatisfied with it. The idea that there are some things you just want to keep to yourself is a valid one, I think, but Twilight as a character probably wouldn't keep it so hidden. I wanted a kind of dreamy feeling to it, and I felt like I needed to isolate her for the sake of that and the story, but I definitely could have done better.
You have a good point. I had a lot of worries about the ending, but mostly I worried that it was too boring or too esoteric. I never even considered leaving mystery behind--my actual thought process was along the lines of "okay now how do I answer all of the reader's questions at once?" haha. I did intend for the tone to change, from dreamy malaise into real-feeling joy, but if that change came off as too jarring (or if it changed to something else) then there's something wrong I should have fixed. And I can see what you mean with the buildup and the release. I didn't stop to consider it might be too much all at once, in too small of a timespan, for it to feel as cathartic and satisfying as it should. Thank you for telling me; I'll try to watch out for this in the next pieces I write.
Anything created by a human will always have flaws, I fear, but to be called a worthy story is an honor.
I'll try to get my sequel ideas written sometime this century, haha. Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for your constructive criticism!
Very good. A few spelling and grammatical errors, but otherwise very good. Normally using “it’s” (contraction of it is/has/was) when proper grammar calls for “its” (possessive form of it) is enough to dissuade me from reading further; it’s among m’ biggest pet peeves. Not here, though. Fascinating story you’ve woven, here. Have an upvote.
9128739
I'm afraid "it's" and "its" is my Achilles' heel wheen it comes to grammer.
Thanks for reading through it anyway! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
You can has review!
It's clear there isn't a sequel but I'll say that it would have been REALLY interesting to see what you would have done with her abilities and path chosen. The prospect of so many things to happen.
Thanks for this story, was a joy to read.