A Very Happy and Sunny Life

by Wearin Hat

Entry 4: Look`N`Find

So this nightday (Yeah, I’m doing that now.) was a bust. I didn’t find a single damn thing out there! I mean, sure, there was plenty of trash to pick up, a lot of broken pieces of wood, and this bow-tie and collar thing. I can’t sell any of that! Not even Twilight would buy that damn bow-tie thing. However, Twilight did buy all the crap from yesterday for about two hundred and eighty bits. That should sustain me for awhile, which means I don’t have to worry about collecting things until I need to.

However, my misfortune was countered by what I DID find daynight!

There must have been a big party in town or something as there was wood and debris everywhere. What caught my nose was the strong scent of hard cider in the air. I haven’t had a good drink in a while so finding a crate of that stuff would wonderful!

All I found were traces of it spilled on the ground. This would be bad if I didn’t find something conspicuously similar to a trail leading into an alley where I could hear muffled groans and moans.

Do you know what that means Booky? JACKPOT!

I stealthily trotted into the alley to get a better look at the lovebirds and what I saw and heard did NOT disappoint! There were two ponies of unidentifiable gender leaning against each other on two legs each. One of them was pressed submissively against a wall while the other one went to town on the other one’s neck. The moans revealed to me that it was a mare and somepony. Best part? She was totally rocking an English accent. Couldn’t tell much about the other pony though.

My observations were ruined when one of them saw me. Being the master of everything that I am, I played it off beautifully by spotting the discarded bow-tie thing and picking up with an inconspicuous hum going through my being. I even chased after them in a yelling fury, “You damn kids need to stay indoors at night and stop messing up MY streets!” Priceless.

It’s been too long since I last found a couple getting busy in the street. I used to find things like that all the time. I guess they’re all getting cleverer.

More importantly, I’m due to take all this organic crap over to Sweet Apple Acres with Carty tomorrow. You know what that means? FREE CART INSPECTION! Carty’s been looking a little on the broken side as of late and I figure that Big Mac will probably jump at the chance to fix him right up for me!

I’m sorry (Not really.) I don’t have anything of interest to report this daynight, but I promise that tomorrow will be far more interesting! Who knows, maybe I’ll initiate plan MUFFIN DESTROYERER tomorrow and finally kill that annoying mailmare. I’ve been wanting to drop something heavy on that retard’s head.

Sleep time.

Comments

[sierra_seven_]

Better and better sir. You truly have captured the essence of the character.

All units, Operation MUFFIN DESTROYERER is in effect!