A Very Happy and Sunny Life

by Wearin Hat

Here We Go Again...

I don’t even want to talk right now, especially if you’re gonna be all moody like before.

Got it?

Booky?

Fine, I’ll just keep writing until you say something.

To soothe my mood, I tried saying something to my mirror, but that only pissed me off more. Crap like this makes me wonder why I ever bother getting out of bed.

The crap I am referring to is the exceptionally bad timed note I found on my front door this mevening. I mean, who does Applejack think she is, leaving a note like this on my front door? Does she think I’m ever gonna be in the mood to read it without seeing red?

Booky, I’m going to transcribe her note in you, so I’ll never be able to forget that ALL mares are untrustworthy. Plus, I know how you don’t like me just writing stuff without it being from me, so HA!

‘Dear Ipsa,

Now I know this ain’t gonna be something you’re gonna be wanting to read (What gives you that impression, bitch?) , so I’m gonna be gentle about it and leave the…uh…’hard’ (Ha, nice.) parts for when I can speak to you myself.

The girls and I have been talking about coming to you about all of this for a little while. To be short about it, we’re worried about you (What?). I mean, I know you ain’t ever been close with any of us, but that don’t change the fact that we’ve been worrying ourselves a little ragged about you.

It’s all well and good to be fond of our cider, but there’s a point where you got to draw a line of some sort and from what Mac tells me and from what I saw at that party of ours, you really need to lay off the hard stuff (She would really do well to speak only for herself.).

You’re a fun drunk, though. I have to say that I ain’t laughed that hard in a long time. Who would’ve thought you could keep up with Dash and Pinkie on the dance floor(WHAT?)? Hilarious! Sure, you’re behavior with Rarity and Derpy was downright horrible (Sounds like me.), but I’m thinking that if you moderated your drinking, you could be really good company.

On the subject of Rarity and Derpy, I’m thinking that it’d be a real good show of character if you were to apologize to them (Huh, that would be a good show of character, wouldn’t it be, Booky? Hm, how fun it is to dream about ‘what ifs’.). I mean, as much as we like to ruffle poor Rare’s feathers (Heh, I’d ruffle her feathers.) every now and again, coming onto her like…uh…that was a little uncomfortable. It was funny for the first few seconds, but you gotta learn some boundaries, especially when foals are around. Your behavior towards Rare and everything you said to poor Derpy left me and Mac with a good bit of explaining to do to Apple Bloom and I’ll thank you to keep that kind of language off the farm from now on (You can thank me all you want, bitch.).

Now, I’m mare enough (Ugh…) to say that I’m sorry for throwing you out after that tirade if you’re gonna apologize for going on that tirade (I never was fond of receiving apologies, so I’ll do without, thank you.). And you can thank Mac for walking you home while you’re at it. You’re right lucky that stallion’s got a heart of gold that he didn’t buck your head in after that kiss (WHAT?!) you gave him.

The only reason none of us came down hard on you for any of this, particularly for what you did to Rare and what you said to Derpy, is that we know that you’re going through a really hard time. Especially given all that stuff going on with Shimmer Shade (Who?) right now. Poor filly, I don’t see why this stuff happens sometimes. I mean, not to prattle on, but I thought the foals in this town were above bullying! Especially after that business with Babs (Who or what is a Babs and why should I care?). You’d think they’d just learn to talk to somepony instead of making stuff worse.

Speaking of, know that we’re all here if you need somepony to talk to about any of it (Duly noted and forgotten.). I know none of us know the pain of what you’re going through (Don’t be too hard on yourself, bitch. Mares don’t know a lot of things.), but we know that having friends (Hm, friends, that must be a nice thing to have.) to go through it with makes it all hurt a lot less (Doubtful, but then again I wouldn’t know, would I?).

Don’t go getting it in your head that you’re excused, though (Too late.). You still got a lot to answer for and we’ve got a lot to ask. However, don’t go thinking we’re stupid (Too late.). I know you don’t really like spending time anywhere near Pinkie (Understatement.) and I know Twi and Rare can be a bit much on the nerves after too long, so, if you’re feeling up to coming down to the farm today, it’ll only be me and Dash waiting (Oh my, thank you for going so far out of your way just for me, bitch.).

Please take to heart that as upset with you as we’ve been over your behavior, we’re far more worried about you and we want to help.

Your Friend (WHAT?!),

Applejack’

You know what? I’m actually gonna do it. I’m gonna go meet them. I mean, what could they say? And to just help me keep my cool, the lesbian will be there. She’ll put a hoof or vagina in that farmer’s mouth to shut her up if she gets preaching or something.

And no, you are not welcome to come along. Not after you blue balled me during my route, jerk.

Comments

[Seether00]

Well this can only end well. And geez, what did I just say in the chapter? Be nice the the Apples. You don't have to mean it, just there's all sorts of dividends from having them on your side.

You'll need'em for the eventually destruction of Pinkie and Derpy, if that plan is still on.

[Cthulhu Likes Ponies]

It's so awesome to see someone stick it to the main six sometimes.

[Proudtobe]

However, don’t go thinking we’re stupid (Too late.).

HAhahaha~! In your face. I love this story. In a not gay way.

[Vivo Allegro]

*Kisses Big Mac, gets walked home by Big Mac, gets laid*
You're fucked dude.

[Glowerworm]

3500284 literally ;)