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David Silver


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Starlight gets a new friend. She seems to hang off of every word Starlight has to say and isn't at all worried about her troubled past. She even likes kites! How could this get any better?

Written eagerly for a patron on patreon!

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 121 )

This new mare had light cyan and blue colors in their hair and mane.

A pony’s hair and mane are the same thing.

Ri2

Hello, Chrysalis.

8797903
Those words appear to have shapeshifted. Very odd... we better be alert.

8797922
No, no, it can't be. Because she totally isn't mentioned in the tags, despite everyone knowing exactly what is up here.

Feh, even if Chrysalis' scheming wasn't as transparent as a sheet of glass, I'd automatically be suspicious of anyone who came up to me and started burying me in complements.

Why, hello there Chryssie! I didn't recognize you under the OC disguise!

:)

8798365
It seems many readers have declared it so.

Wow, she's about as bad at hiding her attitude and motivations as she was in that one leaked episode.

Kind of a shame that this story is tipping its hand so early. Also a shame that ponies in Ponyville are so easy to turn against each other.

8800286
In regard to your first statement: I honestly don't think it could have been avoided. Not without restricting it from its intended audience, at the very least. And some people get their panties in a bunch if a certain role is filled by an OC, or if certain details about the story's contents are either not present or misleading, so it was a lose-lose situation overall. (And I think the site expects you to make your tags thoroughly accurate, but I could be wrong there.) Sadly, finding the kind of fan-fiction that interests you is a spoiler-saturated task, so the strength of a story has to be directed away from certain potential mysteries at times.

As for the second statement: the ponies of Ponyville can't even maintain their happiness without Pinkie Pie doing her thing, like the poor souls are addicted and go through withdrawal without her. :fluttershysad:

8801349
Here's a tip: you have Starlight's new pal go off to do something, then have the rumor mongering OC show up to stir the pot with the earth ponies outside without actually showing her transforming. You maintain a semblance of deniability before the inevitable reveal. This way, any reader with any knowledge of the show will pretty much guess the whole story.

8801364
They will? With a changeling tag? Or the story being in changeling and Chrysalis groups? (Because, again, you want to make efforts for the audience that is likely to appreciate certain elements, by making them aware of its existence.) That aside, it's awfully suspect for the new character to disappear and another to show up to stir trouble, who is gone before the new character comes back, regardless of how it's shown to the reader. And the title of the story, which suggests that revenge is afoot, really narrows down who the new character is for anyone who's seen the season six finale. Rather than have subtlety for the sake of subtlety, the story probably focuses on a more enduring and important aspect of the tale.

8801733
I suppose. I guess it just seems like the story is a little cut and dried. Like, Chryssy is there to troll Starlight. What more will there be?

Also, I can't see Starlight being quite this trusting. Her major hangup is trust issues, after all.

8801878
To address the question: that's the sort of thing you find out by reading more of the story, rather than just -- essentially -- the book's cover. :derpytongue2:

She has trust issues? Abandonment issues, maybe. She seemed alright after Trixie used her to get to Twilight. And she did have to put her trust in Twilight to begin with, in order to start putting the past behind her (literally and figuratively) and move forward. Of course, all that it took to make friends with Trixie was one encounter at the spa, starting with something they could relate to (comparable to liking kites in this story). And when she (literally) ran into a pony she met before (Maud), she seemed eager to spend more time with her. If anything, I'd be worried that she's too trusting; or, perhaps more accurately, her hunger to rapport with other ponies lends to her hope and optimism instead of suspicion and doubt.

8803529
Oh, she definitely has anxiety about making friends. Notice that so far, she only seems to bond with misfits and outsiders. When sent out to make friends in No Second Prances, she practically has a panic attack when she tries to make friends with regular townsfolk. Her abandonment issues kept her from making friends as a child, but her villainous past makes her terrified of what others think of her. Of course, we just may have different views of Starlight as a character, and that affects how we write about her.

I'll keep an eye on your story.

8803573
Actually, judging by a season 8 episode, it might not have been by choice that she made no more friends and never learned how to properly make them. Her saying it was her choice might be her way of coping with the situation.

Couldn't resist watching it. It was a Starlight episode.

8804118
Ah, yes. The episode that completely destroyed my story's background for Starlight. I wondered about trying to rewrite it to compensate, realized it couldn't be done, and then just said "Ah, screw it!"

8804877
Two words:

Overprotective Father.


Which can be just as bad as abusive or neglectfull father, but in a different way. Not letting her interact with other ponies because they are strangers. Something tells me he saw how devastated Starlight was was Sunburst left, and tried to do something so it wouldn't happen again. Basicly trying to control the situation. If she does't make friends, she can't lose them. Which has the sad effect of making Starlight never get over Sunburst and causing her to blame cutie marks. Making new friends would have helped Starlight deal with it and learn how to relate to other ponies.

This was probably also the reason she never got to go to Celestia's school. Her father wouldn't want to send her far away where she would be alone wit a lot of strange ponies.


As Starlight grew up and left home, she would be missing the vital life lessons she would have gotten by making new friends, so would fall back on her father's methods, control, which would be all she knows. While having that resentment toward her father.

It was understandable that she had the vendetta against Twilight. She was basically making destroying Starlight's whole worldview on how friendship worked best.


In other words, her dad might have had good intentions, but really screwed up.

8804973
You may want to spoiler protect that bit for the readers who didn't see the episode yet.

I'd already started in on my story and had done the setup for Starlight's backstory when that leak happened. Rendered my whole plan totally unworkable, but I decided to just roll with it and ignore the canon. My ending would never happen on the show, so I figure I can just declare it an alt-universe and let the chips fall where they may.

8817156
That is flattery, fairly deep flattery. That is a method of seduction, but also just generally buttering someone up, or fanboy/girling. It can mean many things.

I hope Starlight changes Saffron’s mind because if she hurts Starlight she may not like the reprisal.

8839862
I love both of these mares. They should kiss and make up.

8839940
I said nothing about what they do after that.

I wonder if Chrysalis will manage to drive a wedge between Starlight and Sunburst's relationship :pinkiegasp:
They go back pretty far and are pretty close so part of me thinks no, but this IS (probably) chrysalis we're talking about. She did... somehow.. trick shining armor into thinking she was cadence. (not implying starburst shipping though :twilightblush: )

I bet Maud noticed. Just like Pinkie, she's way smarter and more observant than she usually lets on.

Where can I get a permit to hunt down Chrysalis? I hope she becomes a statue in someponies garden by the end of this story.

Aaaahhhhhh, so mean :fluttershysad:

I hope they can get to the bottom of this soon...it hurts to read.

Edit: (Not in a "this fic is bad" way, but as in I feel bad for starlight way!)

8800286

Also a shame that ponies in Ponyville are so easy to turn against each other.

Well, all sentient lifeforms seem to have that problem.

Comment posted by Jade Dawn deleted Apr 10th, 2018
Comment posted by Jade Dawn deleted Apr 10th, 2018
Comment posted by Jade Dawn deleted Apr 10th, 2018

8855499
If you find a place where you can get that kind of permit, let me know ASAP.

Now I'm stuck with the image of a crowd of bronies with torches, signs, and pitchforks chasing after Chryssie.


8855506

I hope they can get to the bottom of this soon...it hurts to read.

Same.

Chryssie You magnificent fiend I love it! Wah ha ha ha!

As much pain as I feel reading about Starlight bearing the brunt of Chrissy's passive agressive wrath, if this is not, in fact, how her revenge plays out in the current (or possibly future) season, I will be very disappoint.

I'm not exaggerating about the pain, either. These chapters are getting progressively more difficult to read as Starlight keeps getting pummeled. This is intensified as we see the ponies around her acting very much as we have seen them act in the canon series, leaping to judgement and assuming the worst of every situation and pony.

This is some great writing, I feel. :heart:

something is clearly bothering you." - Something is clearly bothering you."

Starlight trot - Starlight trotted

grabbed her at the shoulders. - grabbed her by the shoulders.

demonstrating his rump to Starlight. - presenting his rump to Starlight.

her breath almost entirely robbed. - her breath almost entirely robbed from her.

Actually, that village was only around for two or three moons. It's confirmed that Starlight's village was only a couple months old when the Mane 6 arrived.

8867547
Several moons, an unknown period of time.

8867566
I know. Ironically, it's actually Maud that helped narrow down how short a time Starlight's village was around.

She mentions she was working on her rockterate when she first met Starlight. In the flashback, you can see her village just being built and she hasn't started collecting cutie marks yet. In The episode that introduced Maud Pie, Pinkie mentions that Maud is just starting her rockterate. Which is only about five or six episodes from when the Mane 6 go to her village. So sometime in that six episode stretch Starlight started building her village and met Maud.

😊 I just have a mind for details.


This actually fits with my idea that Starlight was still a teen when Twilight met her (18 or 19). Most likely she went on to start the village not long after leaving home.

8867576
You appear to be making the dangerous assumption that an episode equates to any given amount of time.

8867606
I like to assume that they are not having years pass over a stretch of only six episodes. Plus if you use real time, when Maud graduates in season 7, it actually fits how long something like that takes to learn. 2 1/2 years sounds about right.

It's generally accepted that the first three seasons only happen over a period of a year and a half.

:facehoof:
Seriously Twilight you haven't put up anti transformation magic up in your castle? You know the psychopath ex leader of the Changelings is out there has already kidnapped multiple VIP ponies and has threatened your student/friend and you have no security what so ever?! I hope she gets called out on that as she is just inviting Murphy to keep calling.

Ri2

Gasp! It's Chrysalis! Whoever could have seen this coming?!

Ri2

8870865
Hahaha don't be ridiculous. When has Twilight EVER had security on her castle? Why, that wouldn't be very friendly, would it?

Saffron tensed, anger showing for just a moment before it fell into worry, then despair, her ears flopping as she crashed to her haunches.

Oh, looks like Chryssi has been taking acting lessons :rainbowlaugh:

"What would you have done, if she had accepted? Would you have paraded her around, 'look at what I did!', that'd show them you were as good, if not better, than Twilight, yes dear?"

Chrysalis is secretly Professor Quirrell

8871110
Welcome to the front of the fic!

8870964

That speaks volumes of her opinion on the guard then.

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