Starlight gave the gentlest tug with her magic, drawing the strand that led up to her kite, high in the choppy winds of the sky. It was far from an ideal day for flying her kites, which also made it one of the better ones. She softly grunted, her teeth clenching as she concentrated on keeping the kite in the air.
The cruel eddies of the cloudy day wrapped firmly around the kite and threw it like an angry god. Starlight yelped and tugged against it, but it only served to hasten its descent. With the sound of shattering wood and splintering branches, the kite slammed against a tree with bone-crushing force.
She sagged in place with a weary sigh, her eyes on the limp thread that dangled from the tree. In its thick canopy, she could envision the smashed and mangled remains of her lovely kite. A sudden sharp laugh had her ears and, slightly slower, her head swiveling to spot a pony that was almost the same color as herself.
This new mare had light cyan and blue colors in their tail and mane. Their tail swirled in a ribbon much like Rarity's. Around her right forehoof was an anklet of large golden orbs with a big gem set in it. Adorning her ponytail, and her actual pony's tail, were similar bands of golden orbs, but they didn't have gems with them. Set in each of her ears, completing the aesthetic, she had a golden earring on either side.
The mare approached, her brown eyes set on Starlight. "I wasn't laughing at you, poor thing. I've lost too many kites on days just like this one. That was a pity, such a pretty kite."
Starlight frowned as she reached up with her magic and began to pluck out bits of her ruined kite. "I'll have to fix it..."
"Oh, you can fix them too?" The new mare came close and stood next to Starlight, watching the kite be extracted bit by bit. "What a talented mare you are."
"Stop that," laughed Starlight. "Oh, um, I don't think we've met? I'm--"
"--Starlight Glimmer," finished the new mare, smiling with a smug satisfaction at Starlight. "Twilight Sparkle's first friendship student, graduated."
Starlight blinked with surprise before it passed. "Oh, yeah, most ponies know that... who live around here, but I've never seen you before?" She tugged the rest of her kite free and it began to float down towards her in a small clouds of bits, bobs, and torn fabric. "Still, nice to meet you...?"
"Saffron," She dipped her head slightly, watching the bits of kite approach. "Saffron Diamond. A pleasure to make your acquaintance." She reached up a hoof as the kite drew close and pulled the main body of it down. "Perhaps today isn't the best day for this."
"Yeah... So, just move into town?" She began folding and collecting the bits. Saffron surrendered the piece she had taken without argument.
"Just did," agreed Saffron. "I didn't think I'd meet such an amazing pony on my first day."
Starlight's cheeks turned red swiftly. "O-oh, yeah... I mean, I'm not Twilight." She laughed nervously as she put a hoof behind her head. "I've only saved Equestria once, unlike her."
"Look at you, trying to pass the whole thing off." Saffron's eyes partially closed, fixing Starlight intensely. "I bet you tell such stories about that time. You against all those changelings..."
"Well, I did have help," demurred Starlight. "I was just, you know, doing what needed doing."
"And you defeated Queen Chrysalis, mmm?" Saffron leaned in closer, her breath ruffling Starlight's fur along her snout in her proximity. "Sent her running."
Starlight shrank back quickly out of range. "I'm... less proud of that."
"Oh?" Saffron's right brow arched high. "I would think that was your highest moment, mmm?"
"Twilight would have made a friend, but I... failed there..." She shook her head quickly. "Enough about that. I did what I could, and hopefully that's good enough, right?" She smiled with nervous hope. "So... you like kites too?"
"Adore them," agrees Saffron. "Next time, I'll bring mine. The only thing better than a kite is a kite with a friend, mmm?"
"Yeah," easily agreed Starlight. She tucked all the bits and bobs of her injured kite away for later repair. "Sometimes I come out here with Maud. Do you know her, Maud Pie?"
"If she's a friend of yours," almost sang Saffron. "I'm sure she's an interesting pony. Do tell."
"She's a stoic mineralogist. At first, she may seem detached, but she really isn't." Starlight put a hoof into the air, watching it be stirred by the wind. "Mmm, it's not going to lighten up."
"Why don't we do something else then?" Saffron flashed a bright smile even as she turned away. "I saw plenty of charming places I haven't been to yet. We could make an event of it."
Starlight tilted her head at Saffron. "We just met... you sure are happy to, uh, shoot. Sorry. I'm... not used to it."
"Are you implying you don't want to go?" asked Saffron as she turned back to Starlight with a hurt expression.
"No! No no no no, really! That sounds like fun." Starlight smiled a bit too forcefully. "And there I was making light of Maud's difficulty, as if I'm so good at making friends. "
"Who's your new friend?!" Stepping out from behind Starlight as if she was there the entire time, Pinkie entered the conversation with a huge grin.
Saffron jerked back with obvious surprise, eyes wide a moment before they could recover. "Oh, dear, quite a startle. Hello, Pinkie."
Pinkie blinked rapidly. "We already met? I never forget a face!"
Saffron pointed at Pinkie. "Former bearer of the Elements of Harmony, good friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle, perhaps friend of Starlight Glimmer?"
Pinkie threw a leg over Starlight's withers and pulled her tight. "Of course! And you are?"
Starlight laughed awkwardly as she provided the answer with an outstretched hoof, "this is Saffron Diamond. We just met, but she knew about us already."
Saffron slowly nodded. "Smart mares know what celebrities live in the town they're moving into, and you two have plenty of things said about you." Her eyes moved to Pinkie. "You, party pony. Where do you suggest two new friends go for a nice time?"
"Oooo, good question." Pinkie bounced in place, releasing Starlight in the motion. "You could enjoy some nice cool shakes on this warm and windy day." She pointed the way. "Sugarcube Corner has you covered. Just tell them Pinkie sent ya and maybe they'll give a discount too. Mister and Missus Cake are the best!"
Starlight laughed softly, starting to walk that way already. "As good a place as any other. Come on, Saffron. We'll chat over a sweet treat or two."
"Let's." She walked side-by-side with Starlight, as if the two of them were already dear friends. "What's your favorite flavor?"
"I'm feeling like something with cherries in it," decided Starlight with a note of confidence. "That work for you?"
"That will do just fine, dear. Just fine..."
They left Pinkie behind, who found other things to do. Soon, they were arriving at Sugarcube Corner, its candied exterior colorfully welcoming them to a sweet time inside.
Saffron opened the door first with her magic and waved inside. "Heroes first."
"Stop that," laughed Starlight nervously. "I'm... not a hero." She scooted inside quickly.
"You don't need to tell me that," grunted out Saffron, her kind face falling for the briefest moment before it returned in a bright and sweet smile as she followed Starlight into the bakery. "Now then, Sugarcube Corner, is it?"
A lanky stallion nodded from behind the corner. "Good afternoon, Starlight. Who's your new friend? Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!"
"Afternoon, Mister Cake." Starlight dipped her head slightly before waving a hoof back at the entering Saffron. "This is Saffron Diamond, new in town. We were hoping to get a shake to share."
"How lovely." He offered a hoof over the counter towards Saffron. "And nice to meet you, Miss Diamond."
Saffron raised a hoof to tap against his, but didn't make it a long gesture. "Charmed. Something with cherries, if you please."
"You got it!" He wandered towards the back to get to preparing their order.
Starlight had already selected a booth by the window, patting the opposite chair while smiling at Saffron. Saffron returned the smile as she trotted over and slid up into the free chair. "A delightful choice of seat. We can do a little pony watching while we wait."
Following her eyes, Starlight saw two ponies arguing outside over a broken wagon. She hissed softly as her horn glowed. Without hesitation, she reached right through the glass and hefted up the broken wheel and popped it back onto its axle. With a little magic twist, she bonded it back into place, repairing the wagon.
The two ponies looked quite shocked at the sudden repair of the wagon. They looked at one another with confusion and exchanged a few words. Saffron laughed, "poor things, they have no idea what just happened."
Starlight waved it away gently. "I don't need credit for every good deed I do. Hopefully they can get back to what they were doing before that wheel broke off. Seems this windy day is good for breaking more than just kites, huh?"
"Indeed," agreed Saffron with a sly expression. "Pardon me, dear. I need to powder my nose."
Starlight nodded at her new friend. "Don't let me keep you."
Saffron rose smoothly and trotted for the door outside. She looped around the building casually, so she could see the two confused ponies without being seen by Starlight, not that she appeared to be Saffron anymore. She waved at them energetically and began to gesture for them to come closer the moment they noticed her.
"Yeah?" asked one of the two. "It's a crazy day, lady. First our wagon just snaps out of nowhere, then it fixes all the same, poof, like magic."
"Oh, I know... I saw the whole thing." Saffron smiled slowly. "And I know who did it. Starlight Glimmer's inside Sugarcube Corner right now. She reached out there with her magic and, pfft, just like that!"
The other stallion frowned sharply. "Starlight, huh? I thought she was better than that!"
The first nudged the second. "Didn't she used to use her magic for all kinds of evil brainwashing?"
"What, really?"
The first nodded quickly. "Uh huh, I heard it. She's powerful enough to spar with Twilight Sparkle and hold her own."
The second clopped his hooves together. "I don't care how magic she is! She thinks she can just shove us around like that?"
Saffron shook her head slowly. "She must not respect earth ponies and all the hard work they do to keep Equestria working." She sighed dramatically. "How terrible... Unicorn pride." She shrank back. "I do hope somepony would tell me if I ever get that in my head. Don't tell her I ratted her out, alright?"
"You got it, uh..."
"Sandy Shores," reported the light-brown colored unicorn with a smile. "Quick, if you want to talk to her, better do it before she leaves."
"Yeah," they both agreed, turning to give Starlight a piece of their collective mind.
Saffron chuckled darkly to herself as she looped back around the building, becoming Saffron Diamond along the way. She just got inside the door when the shouting began.
"Where do you get off, breaking our wagon!" demanded the first male.
"That joke wasn't funny!" agreed the second, slamming the table she was seated at.
Starlight shrank back with surprise. "W-what?! I fixed the wagon!"
"Yeah, only after you broke it." The first stallion leaned dangerously close. "I have my eye on you, Miss Glimmer. Don't think you can hide behind the princess!"
"Yeah!" offered the second in a show of eloquence. "We have our eyes on you, troublemaker!"
They stormed off together, grumbling, leaving a dazed Starlight behind.
Saffron ducked aside to let them past before approaching the table. "Whatever was that about, dear? They seemed quite upset, and after you lent a helping hoof. How awful..."
Yay! Evil!
A pony’s hair and mane are the same thing.
Hello, Chrysalis.
8797903
Those words appear to have shapeshifted. Very odd... we better be alert.
8797922
No, no, it can't be. Because she totally isn't mentioned in the tags, despite everyone knowing exactly what is up here.
Feh, even if Chrysalis' scheming wasn't as transparent as a sheet of glass, I'd automatically be suspicious of anyone who came up to me and started burying me in complements.
Why, hello there Chryssie! I didn't recognize you under the OC disguise!
:)
8798365
It seems many readers have declared it so.
Wow, she's about as bad at hiding her attitude and motivations as she was in that one leaked episode.
Kind of a shame that this story is tipping its hand so early. Also a shame that ponies in Ponyville are so easy to turn against each other.
8800286
In regard to your first statement: I honestly don't think it could have been avoided. Not without restricting it from its intended audience, at the very least. And some people get their panties in a bunch if a certain role is filled by an OC, or if certain details about the story's contents are either not present or misleading, so it was a lose-lose situation overall. (And I think the site expects you to make your tags thoroughly accurate, but I could be wrong there.) Sadly, finding the kind of fan-fiction that interests you is a spoiler-saturated task, so the strength of a story has to be directed away from certain potential mysteries at times.
As for the second statement: the ponies of Ponyville can't even maintain their happiness without Pinkie Pie doing her thing, like the poor souls are addicted and go through withdrawal without her.
8801349
Here's a tip: you have Starlight's new pal go off to do something, then have the rumor mongering OC show up to stir the pot with the earth ponies outside without actually showing her transforming. You maintain a semblance of deniability before the inevitable reveal. This way, any reader with any knowledge of the show will pretty much guess the whole story.
8801364
They will? With a changeling tag? Or the story being in changeling and Chrysalis groups? (Because, again, you want to make efforts for the audience that is likely to appreciate certain elements, by making them aware of its existence.) That aside, it's awfully suspect for the new character to disappear and another to show up to stir trouble, who is gone before the new character comes back, regardless of how it's shown to the reader. And the title of the story, which suggests that revenge is afoot, really narrows down who the new character is for anyone who's seen the season six finale. Rather than have subtlety for the sake of subtlety, the story probably focuses on a more enduring and important aspect of the tale.
8801733
I suppose. I guess it just seems like the story is a little cut and dried. Like, Chryssy is there to troll Starlight. What more will there be?
Also, I can't see Starlight being quite this trusting. Her major hangup is trust issues, after all.
8801878
To address the question: that's the sort of thing you find out by reading more of the story, rather than just -- essentially -- the book's cover.
She has trust issues? Abandonment issues, maybe. She seemed alright after Trixie used her to get to Twilight. And she did have to put her trust in Twilight to begin with, in order to start putting the past behind her (literally and figuratively) and move forward. Of course, all that it took to make friends with Trixie was one encounter at the spa, starting with something they could relate to (comparable to liking kites in this story). And when she (literally) ran into a pony she met before (Maud), she seemed eager to spend more time with her. If anything, I'd be worried that she's too trusting; or, perhaps more accurately, her hunger to rapport with other ponies lends to her hope and optimism instead of suspicion and doubt.
8803529
Oh, she definitely has anxiety about making friends. Notice that so far, she only seems to bond with misfits and outsiders. When sent out to make friends in No Second Prances, she practically has a panic attack when she tries to make friends with regular townsfolk. Her abandonment issues kept her from making friends as a child, but her villainous past makes her terrified of what others think of her. Of course, we just may have different views of Starlight as a character, and that affects how we write about her.
I'll keep an eye on your story.
8803573
Actually, judging by a season 8 episode, it might not have been by choice that she made no more friends and never learned how to properly make them. Her saying it was her choice might be her way of coping with the situation.
Couldn't resist watching it. It was a Starlight episode.
8804118
Ah, yes. The episode that completely destroyed my story's background for Starlight. I wondered about trying to rewrite it to compensate, realized it couldn't be done, and then just said "Ah, screw it!"
8804877
Two words:
Overprotective Father.
Which can be just as bad as abusive or neglectfull father, but in a different way. Not letting her interact with other ponies because they are strangers. Something tells me he saw how devastated Starlight was was Sunburst left, and tried to do something so it wouldn't happen again. Basicly trying to control the situation. If she does't make friends, she can't lose them. Which has the sad effect of making Starlight never get over Sunburst and causing her to blame cutie marks. Making new friends would have helped Starlight deal with it and learn how to relate to other ponies.
This was probably also the reason she never got to go to Celestia's school. Her father wouldn't want to send her far away where she would be alone wit a lot of strange ponies.
As Starlight grew up and left home, she would be missing the vital life lessons she would have gotten by making new friends, so would fall back on her father's methods, control, which would be all she knows. While having that resentment toward her father.
It was understandable that she had the vendetta against Twilight. She was basically making destroying Starlight's whole worldview on how friendship worked best.
In other words, her dad might have had good intentions, but really screwed up.
8804973
You may want to spoiler protect that bit for the readers who didn't see the episode yet.
I'd already started in on my story and had done the setup for Starlight's backstory when that leak happened. Rendered my whole plan totally unworkable, but I decided to just roll with it and ignore the canon. My ending would never happen on the show, so I figure I can just declare it an alt-universe and let the chips fall where they may.
8816895
What part was the flirting?
8817156
That is flattery, fairly deep flattery. That is a method of seduction, but also just generally buttering someone up, or fanboy/girling. It can mean many things.