- Member Since 20th Feb, 2018
- offline last seen Last Wednesday
The_Lost_Somebody
I've been in the Nothingness for a while now. Still much I don't know. However, should others find themselves here, all I can say is: May you find your way in the Nothingness.
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The premise is overused, but if I call attention to it being overused it'll be ok! No. Especially not since that's been done so many times too. The short description is, well, short. Don't waste it telling us how this is like all the other displaced fics, tell us how it's different.
8795074
gifimage.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/preach-gif-12.gif
Is this story going to be just another literal copy and past job of Don't Get Cocky, like what Don't Underestimate Me is?
I really hope not.
8795164
I certainly hope I can at least make it different enough to not be called a copy Or a rip-off. I'm still an inexperienced writer.
8795074
Not how I thought it. I just wanted to say that I'm adding to the pile. And if you took it the way you did. I'm sorry. Don't know how to appeal to the people.
Hmm...I'm sorry I really don't feel like this story is worth reading. Just from reading the first two chapters it feels rather amateurish. Everything is happening too fast and there's not enough material because the chapters are too short.
It doesn't help that this is a displaced story which are a dime-a-dozen on this site and it's been "Done to death". Some of them are good, some of them are bad, and there are some that are so bad it makes you regret that you spent 10 minutes of your life reading it. I mean there's so many of these types of stories that some of them start having similar plots from one another it just becomes very cliched and sadly, when someone goes to write a Displaced, they don't really try a new approach to the genre and they often to go with the most common, aka turned to stone, become Celestia/Luna's enemy, become overpowered mary-sue who has a huge harem, the list goes on. Now personally, I have no problem with Displaced, other than I think there's so many that any decent ones are gonna drown in a sea of mediocrity.
There are good displaced stories out there if you sort by views/likes in the Displaced group, but of course due to their age, you will see a few common things at the start aka the source of where the cliches came from.
it's gotten to the point where it's difficult to write a good displaced story without making it sound like some wish fulfillment story and in some cases it doesn't do the character the displace protagonist became as any justice.
From my experience on the site has shown me a few couple things: first, a story can employ commonly-used tropes, but as long as it is executed well and mixes in a few twists to the formula(s), it can still succeed. Secondly, it has to be written in a way that is readable/formatted correctly, and (this is strangely important to me for some reason and maybe for others as well), it has to look like the author has at least made an effort to provide a good & immersive reading experience, generally by editing their work. If it's absolutely rife with easy-to-see errors, I have to assume that the author either doesn't know or doesn't care. If it's the former, they ought to practice until they have a solid grasp of spelling, grammar, etc. If it's the latter, they shouldn't bother at all because if they're not gonna try, why should I?
Now I'm not saying all this just to be mean or anything I'm just giving my honest criticism and in my opinion you're better off just starting a new crossover story with just the actual characters which I'm referring to Ramirez (minus all powers you've given him). Because come on there's hasn't been a crossover with Skies of Arcadia on this site (not to my knowledge that is) and with everyone's favorite antagonist no less. It just feels like it's an golden opportunity that is wasted on this. I know there are several fans who wants a Skies of Arcadia crossover if they are fans of this classic RPG game and the only crossover fanfic they're going to find is this displace story which is unfortunate.
But in the end it's entirely up to you where you want take this story. but in my opinion you should try something else to write because judging from the likes and dislikes votes for this you're not on a good start and it not doing ya any favors. Perhaps when you gain more experience in writing stories then maybe you can try out the displaced genre again.
Wow, that's a lot of cliches, even for Displaced. Why not go a different direction and break away from the standard formula currently running rampant around here?
Wow, a Displaced fic inspired by a fic inspired by other Displaced fics.
Fucking hell, this rabbit hole makes Inception look positively sane.
Aside from that... Yeah, this is Displaced. Not reading it, you're ticking the red flags by the description and that's bad.
Don't know what you lot are talking about this seems like an awesome read can't wait for more.
8795734
It's okay. We all have poor taste at one point.
8795775
How is it poor taste? And more importantly it's unique taste.
"Inspired by don't underestimate me.". I can already taste what's going to happen.
Edit: Both Alex Mercer and James Heller were infected with Blacklight. Elizabeth Greene had Redlight, although, Alex likely does have control of Redlight considering he consumed Greene.
8795202
You don't you just have to keep writing what you love and you will meet the right audience.
8795782
There's nothing unique about Displaced. It's a dead horse genre. The very fact that this is a derivative fic on top of a derivative fic inside a derivative genre that survives by eating itself endlessly shows how much you misunderstand what the word "unique" means.
The Displaced group has over 2500 members and 800 stories. That's more than there are online at this moment. How is any of that "unique"?
Let me answer that for you; it isn't. This is the fanfiction equivalent of those low quality Family Guy ripoffs like Mr Pickles or Big Mouth, or even Family Guy itself in later seasons. It's the most barebones, dead horse genre and it gets views because people don't know any better. If you like it, then I pray that your taste improves in due time, but don't be all "Well like it, the fuck are you people on about." when it's very clear what people's problems with this is.
I could explain my vote, but the rationale has already been posted below.
8795817
All life is doomed to disappointment the moment it discovers how to reproduce. This one is even more so than most: It is the victim of inbreeding.
8795817
1: I did not said that the displace was unique i mant the story like how it's dark and gloomy with possibility of Death/Death's was unique in a way.
2: if you have a strong opinions on it not being good than don't read it not a lot of people will agree with you because you just said that 2500 people like this kind of story's me being one of them
3: if you want story's like this then Good for you but if you don't want them and just put hate comments don't just don't you can find better things to do with your life and let others do there own thing.
4: this is all MY opinion I don't expect you or anything to agree with me but I felt the need to let you know that not your opinion is the only opinion some will like it and some will not and that's them so please don't hate to seekout more hate that not a good life but if you just want to put YOUR opinion out there then help to make it unique from others don't burn it just because you can.
5: I love this story and I don't care about YOUR opinion I just want to help a good story to not be end so soon.
6: that all i am saying so bye bye
8795936
Fuck man, didn't mean to trigger you so hard.
1: So it's edgy? Newsflash sunshine, Displaced is a hivemind of edgy. And frankly if a story has no stakes, it's not worth reading anyway, so if a character is in danger, fucking good. Get some audience investment in there.
2: "Don't like it, don't read it" is a terrible way to go about things. I mean, aside from the fact that I didn't in the first place because it was so generic that I could guess the entire two chapters.
Also, judging from the comments and the ratio of likes to dislikes, I think people do agree with me, and not just a minority either.
3: I'll admit, I should have left some criticism rather than straight up bashing, but look at this. It's already ripping off a ripoff! Why would I want to read this? But hey, if I don't like it, guess fucking criticism is too good. Fuck if the author wants to improve, only leave NICE COMMENTS PEOPLE!
4: I don't get this point. Maybe aside from "Don't go all fire and brimstone" which can be fun sometimes.
5: You love it? Great. I hope you develop better taste in the future. Read some of ImplodingColon's work or something. Also if you didn't care, you wouldn't have replied, so you do care.
6: Bye.
Verbal fencing is fun. More fun that reading bad fanfiction, anyway.
Dear lord, it's world war two all up in the comment section. Can we just all just agree to disagree?
Well now. Didn't think it would be this bad. I can see that you have greatly differing opinions. Don't blame ya. I myself was feeling it was a mistake to make this.
I may continue, but I don't think its a good idea. I'll wait for a little while. If it just keeps on gettig worse, I will be canceling this and doing it all over.
With that being said.
May you find your way in the Nothingness
And just to clarify, I have an already pretty negative look on almost all things related to me in any way. And if it does so bad that a flame war will start, I'll think its just better off dead than alive.
8796222
Please, please, don't go that route. "I have a negative view of almost all things related to me in any way."
Fishing for praise and throwing a pity parade is not the way to react to something like this. I know there are "people" on this site that go there, but it never ends well and just looks bad.
8796346
Its not that. I have been like that since I was about 13. It is not some thing I just said to get pitty. I will delete/cancle if it goes to any more shit it already has.
8796346
And just because I said "I have a negative view on all things me" is NOT a tactic to get praise. I don't really even care. Its nice, sure, but I expect badmouthing and hate. Nothing more, nothing less.
8797017
A word of advice for you, sir: Never abandon your story based on audience feedback. Maybe revise it, but never abandon it.
The way a story exists is thus: You feel so strongly about a story that you want to tell that you tell it. If someone saying mean things is sufficient to get you to abandon your story, then you should never have started writing it in the first place. If your heart wasn't in this story to begin with, why did you bother writing it? Fame? Recognition? What's the point to all that shit? You write the story because it needs to be written, not for some silly desire to be noticed or liked.
8797186
Yeah. I know. I'll think on it. I really need to take a brake for a little bit. I will redo this story. Cuz now that I look back on it it was really silly to think that I might be able to write on the same level as some of the others that are way more experienced on this than me. Thank you. I mean it.
8797039
I've had this 'Hamster_Master' guy complain about my own story as well. Ignore him.
8797192
Redoing is good. The first step to recovery is admitting our weakness. I've got a few stories that I started for the wrong reasons, and may revisit someday to turn into something worthwhile.
8797887
Yeah. I won't abandon the idea of one of my favourite antagonists going to equestria. I'm going to remake this from the ground up when I get more experience in writing.
Thank you for your kind words.
May you truly find your way in the Nothingness.
8798461
Fuck man, didn't mean to trigger you so hard that you throw a shit fit defending a Displaced fic, along with insulting someone multiple times. All I said was "Get better taste."
Wasn't even that serious. Lighten up lad, it's 2018.
I mean, didn't they call you disgusting for simply disagreeing? That's like... twice as bad as "get better taste."
Indeed. I mean, it's displaced. Pratically a meme at this point due to how stupid the genre is.
Did you just disagree? Fuck, you're an absolute retard! Get off your highhorse and fucking beg for forgiveness, you racist pig!
Careful now, Poe's Law might apply soon enough.
True. Also you should stop talking to yourself and address the argument at hand?
Ya mean the one where some guy throws a shit fit for not liking a story? Like, this is a fanfic site, fucking grow up. No need to go apeshit on someone for something like "Get better taste" on a Displaced story...
8797897
Absolutely, sir. I hope to see a kickass story from you sometime in the future.
If I may, I'd like to recommend that you do a straight crossover, rather than Displaced. Part of the appeal of Displaced is not having to write your crossover character in-character. It's lazy, low-effort writing, because it's basically you as a self-insert of whatever character you want in a power fantasy in Equestria. Much more skilled and interesting storywriting involves writing characters as they are and how they would actually react in Equestria, with ponies, and having to defend the world. It's not what you would do, it's what the character would do! That's a much tougher thing to write, and people will appreciate your talent far more than Displaced.
I want you to write, but I assure you that Displaced carries a stigma that you probably don't want to be associated with. If you want to challenge yourself as a writer and get some healthy and constructive readers, I strongly encourage you to do a legitimate crossover with your favorite character actually being himself.
8799276
Sure. I think it will be fun trying to replicate Ramirez's personality. Such challenge. Much migrane.
Well ... this like as star eater
I didn't expect that. Congratulations, I was thoroughly surprised.
I can't wait
Utterly. Surprised.
8799276
What about the displaced that get displaced as weak/joke characters, ex. Pheonix Wright, as self, as background pone. Or that aren't direct power fantasies.
9096661
May I ask your reason for that?
9096742
Well, all I can really say is, try to live the way that makes you happy. I can't say that I would know what it is, but try to do the things that makes you truly happy. And, I too wonder what it would be like to get displaced.
i would have enjoyed this. but oh well..
Your story was good but sadly it's overshadowed by my unyielding rage.