• Published 10th Apr 2019
  • 894 Views, 46 Comments

The Clock with Three Faces - Sixes_And_Sevens



When Colgate, Ponyville's premier and only dentist, has a crisis of identity, she is swept up on a mad run through space, time, and beyond. Meanwhile, Sunset and a Trixie have borrowed the TARDIS.

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City of Memories

Nothing happened. The assembled continued to stare at the watch, holding their collective breath. Nothing persisted in happening, rather emphatically. “It’s broken,” Colgate said quietly. “The face is cracked.”

“What?” the Doctor gasped. “Give it over.” He grabbed it from her hooves.

The face was, indeed, cracked. A neat fracture ran straight through the glass, and the inside appeared to be full of murky water. “Time Lord tech,” he whispered. “This is definitely part of a Chameleon Arch. Yet another point for the theory that you are, or were, Romana.”

“And the crack means…” Caramel prompted.

The Doctor stared at him. “No idea. Never happened before. Frankly, they’re not really meant for extended use. Last time that happened… well, it didn't end well for anyone.” He looked down and muttered, “Not for anyone who remembered that year, anyway.”

Colgate did not hear them talking. She did not observe as, one by one, they all slipped off to sleep. She just stared blankly at her faint reflection in the broken glass. In the watch, Romana looked back out at her.

***

In Canterlot, a group of mares sat in a cafe, laughing merrily over doughnuts. “So, so then, right,” Twinkleshine giggled, “I told him to stuff it!”

“What’d he say to that?” Moondancer asked.

“Oh, it had been dead too long for a proper taxidermy job,” the other replied, smile drooping slightly. “Saved the head, though.”

Starlight Glimmer chuckled. “Oh, I bet that must’ve looked nice,” she said. “A dog’s head, stuffed and mounted like a trophy.”

The others chuckled at the image. All save one. Moondancer looked at the sole exception, worried. “You okay, Minuette?”

The blue unicorn let out a grunt of surprise and glanced up. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Not feeling myself right now.”

“What’s wrong?” Lemon Hearts asked, placing a hoof on her friend’s back.

“Dunno,” Minuette admitted. “Just felt like… somepony walking over my grave. I’m fine, now.”

“Are you sure?” Starlight asked, looking carefully at her friend.

“She’ll be fine, you heard her,” Moondancer said briskly. “So, what happened next, Twinkles?”

The others slowly turned back to the previous topic, but Starlight kept an eye on Minuette. There seemed, suddenly, to be something far more fragile about the mare. Fragile— and perhaps volatile.

***

White. Clean. Orderly. She breathed out. It was comfortable, here. She, too, wore white— an elegant dress, beautiful in its austerity. Everything was clean and neat and tidied away in proper fashion. “Hello,” boomed a jolly, sonorous voice. “Would you like a jelly baby?”

Dark. Untidy. Chaotic. He did not fit in any boxes. He was unexpected, unpredictable, an enigma from a distance and a nuisance up close. He was a legend in an ill-fitting scarf and overcoat. “My name is Lady Romanadvoratrelundar,” she heard herself say.

“I can’t call you that,” he said. An unusual complaint from someone who refused to ever use his own name.

“It’s Romana or Fred,” he concluded.

“All right then, call me Fred.”

“Come along, Romana.”

***

The next morning dawned without further incident, apart from the obviously unusual nature of a dawn unaided by alicorn magic. Regrettably, none of the party thought of this as being particularly important at the time, and thus the miracle of planetary motion went uncelebrated. Colgate blinked muzzily in the still-dim light of the morning. Above her, she saw sticks bound together with dried mud and weed. The shelter. How she’d got in here, she had no idea. Check that, yes she did. “Hello, Doctor,” she said.

“Dr. Colgate,” the stallion replied with a nod. “You’re the last one up. We saved you some breakfast.”

“Thank you,” she said. “Will we be leaving shortly?”

“Soon as you’re ready,” the Doctor agreed.

“I’m sorry.”

The Doctor paused. “Sorry about what?” he asked, brow furrowing.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t her. Romana.”

The Time Lord stopped. He breathed in and let it out slowly. “I miss her,” he said quietly. “She was one of my best friends. She was one of my people. But none of that is your fault.”

“I didn’t say it was,” Colgate returned. “But I’m sorry I can’t help.”

The Doctor stared off into space. “Colgate. There is nothing you can do about what’s happened. But, if you really do want to help…”

“Yes?”

Deep brown eyes met dark blue ones. “Be my friend?”

Colgate stuttered to a halt. “Uh?”

The Doctor continued to stare at her. He looked older than his face implied, and more tired than his energy belied. “I’ve made some mistakes,” he said quietly. “And there have been times when I’ve let my anger get the best of me. I’ve hurt people, and that’s only come back to bite me in the flank. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that I need friends, people- or rather, ponies- to keep me grounded. Colgate, I don’t know if you were once Romana or not, but please, would you do me the honor of being my friend?”

The unicorn was suddenly finding it rather hard to speak. “Of course,” she choked out.

“Thank you,” the Doctor said. Then, straightening, he grinned. “Now, let’s be off, shall we?”

“I haven’t had breakfast yet,” Colgate protested.

“Ah, but we’re going to Paris! City of Lights!” the Doctor enthused. “I’ll buy you a crepe or something, you’ll love it.” Noting her hesitation, he continued, “It’s either that or stay here and have some swamp grass soup.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Colgate chuckled, “Crepes sound delightful.”

“Brilliant!” the Doctor beamed. “Look at us, doing friend-type things together already! I’ll just let you freshen up, and then it’s off to gay Paree!” He trotted off with a merry jaunt in his step.

Colgate watched him go, torn between amusement and bemusement. Why couldn’t she stop imagining him in a long, trailing scarf? She shook her head. Foolishness. What had he suggested? Freshening up? Well, if she was going into the city, she might as well try.

She strolled out of the shelter, down to the bank of the little island. The water was cold and clear as she splashed it against her face and she blinked herself slightly more awake. “Better than coffee,” she said with satisfaction. “Now, let me fix my mane…”

She waited patiently for the water to turn smooth and placid once more. As the ripples faded, a frown crossed her features. That wasn’t her reflection. A strange creature stared back up from the water, hairless of face and blonde of mane. Her eyes were so absurdly small that Colgate could hardly fathom how the creature could see anything. They stared at each other, the original and the reflection. It seemed almost impossible to tell which was which.

Then, a slight ripple made the unicorn blink and the spell was broken. When Colgate looked back at the water, it was her own face staring back. As it should be. Right?

***

The Doctor glanced up as Colgate cantered over from the banks. He frowned. “You alright? You’re looking a bit peaky.”

“Hm? Oh, I’m fine,” Colgate replied, smiling. “Nothing to worry about. Hey, are we gonna stand around all day, or are we going to get some crepes? I’m starved.”

Caramel leaned over to Applejack. “She’s lying,” he whispered.

“Thank ya kindly. Ah hadn’t quite picked up on that,” Applejack said in the sort of tone that would make a deceased skillet green with envy.

Caramel, oblivious, just nodded. “Right.”

“Okay,” the Doctor said. “Now, is everypony ready?”

Rarity glared at Calco. “I still don’t see why he needs to come along,” she huffed.

“Neither do I,” the Tharil admitted. “Really, I just want to go back to my people.”

“All in good time,” the Doctor assured him. “Right now, though, I’d rather you stayed with us. If what you’ve said is true, then Romana might still be alive, somehow, and you were the last one to see her. Besides, if the manipulator breaks again, we may need another way to get back to Equestria.”

Calco frowned. “So nice to feel wanted,” he muttered.

“Right! All you lot, hang on. Three, two, one-

***

-Oof!” the Doctor finished as he fell rather painfully to the ground. He picked himself up and brushed off his coat with a hand. Wait. A hand? A hand! He was in his normal shape once more! “Oh, brilliant!” he enthused.

“Gah,” Caramel gaped as he stared down at his body. He was tall and fairly muscular, if a bit thick around the tum, with tan, sun-kissed skin.

“Huh,” Applejack said, staring at her new, freckled hands. “Okay, this is new. How do Ah get aroun’ like this?”

Rarity managed to pull herself upright for a moment, wobbling badly. The Doctor reached out and grabbed an arm, stabilizing her. After a moment, she stood still. “Well, this isn’t as bad as Twilight described, certainly,” she said, pulling away from the Doctor. “Walking may take a little bit of doing, but I believe I- Oh!” She stumbled and fell back to the floor. “Then again, perhaps not,” she sighed.

Colgate was doing the best of them all. “Oh, is this a museum?” she asked with interest, walking over to a painting. “I’m not sure how I feel about this one. Where are her eyebrows?”

The Doctor glanced over. “Ah. La Belle Gioconda. The Mona Lisa, if you prefer. We must be in the Louvre. I tried asking Da Vinci about that once, about the eyebrows, but he was out. Something about a supper engagement, I think. Beautiful picture, though.”

Applejack walked over to look at the painting. “Huh. ‘S alright, Ah reckon. Don’ quite like th’ eyes, though. Like they’re followin’ me.”

“What a hideous dress,” Rarity said. “Unless she’s in mourning, I suppose.”

“I like her smile,” Caramel opined. “She’s got a nice smile.”

Calco grumbled something indistinct about how you couldn’t let a nice smile rule your head.

The Doctor stared at them for a long moment. Then, chuckling, he shrugged. “Well, that’s art for you,” he said with a grin. “Colgate, I believe I promised you crepes. As for the rest of you… walk around. Enjoy yourselves! We’ll meet at the Eiffel Tower at half past one, move on to the next destination. How does that sound?”

“An’ where d’ya expect us t’ go ‘til then?” Applejack asked, raising a very existent eyebrow.

The Doctor waved a hand about. “This is Paris. I’m sure you’ll find something. Go get a picture drawn, or eat lunch by the Seine, or sit around discussing the nature of the universe. There’s a big fashion scene here. Not too much farming or apples, or anything like that, but I’m sure you can find something.”

He walked off, hands deep in his pockets. Colgate shrugged and raced to catch up with his long strides. The remaining four watched them go. “Lunch sounded nice,” Caramel ventured.

“Perhaps, but I don’t believe they’ll take bits,” Rarity pointed out.

“They might,” Calco said. “Your currency is practically pure gold. I’m led to believe that humans consider that a very valuable material.”

“Well, we’ll find someplace and ask there,” Applejack decided. “Ain’t no harm in askin’.”

“I suppose that sounds reasonable,” Rarity agreed. “First things first, however; how do we get out of this museum?”

***

It was a gorgeous day. The sky was cloudless, the streets were packed, and the sun shone down warmly from above. The air smelled faintly of violets. The Doctor inhaled deeply and smiled. “Paris. Never been another city quite like it in the whole universe. It’s got it all. Art, food, culture— it’s like a beautiful floral arrangement, made of all different sorts of plants that all blend together into a sort of— sort of—”

“Bouquet?” Colgate suggested.

“Bouquet, yes,” the Doctor agreed. His smile faded somewhat. “Been a long time since I last visited,” he said quietly.

“You were with— her?”

“Yep! Seems a sort of a Romana day, eh? Great time we had, too. Well. When we weren’t in danger of being shot, or thrown in a dungeon, or nearly erasing all life on this planet.”

“You did all that?” Colgate asked, eyebrow raised.

“Oh, yes, and that’s not nearly the half of it. Come on, there’s a lovely cafe right this way if they’ve not demolished it since I was here last. We’ll have a nice bit of brekkie, and I’ll tell you all about the story of the seven Mona Lisas…” He trailed off. "Well, perhaps we can save that for later. It's your first time in Paris, what do you want to do first?"

Colgate hesitated, glancing down the street. She saw artists making sketches of their customers, people selling trinkets and souvenirs, jugglers, mimes, and more. "Breakfast first," she said firmly. "I'm starving. There's a flower stall--"

"Not as a human," the Doctor said firmly, taking her arm and guiding her towards a cafe. "Like I said before, crepes. Or croissants. Or both, if you like!"

Colgate smiled at him. "Funny how they all speak Equestrian, isn't it?"

"No, they're speaking French," the Doctor corrected. "The TARDIS translation matrix will be converting the language into whatever form you're most comfortable with."

"Oh." Colgate paused. "But the TARDIS isn't here."

The Doctor stopped dead. "No... it isn't, is it?" He looked at her intently. "The psychic connection would still be there, even if you'd only traveled with me once, and it'll be sustained by this..." He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a glowing key. "But you would've had to have traveled with me before to be connected."

Colgate stared. "But I haven't traveled with you before."

The Doctor nodded. "No. Interesting, isn't it?"

***

The bakery wasn’t a patch on Sugarcube Corner. It was in too upper-class of a neighborhood for anyone’s liking, apart from Rarity. Applejack grumbled that it was “too frou-frou”, but she was pretty hungry, and while those may not have been Pinkie Pie’s Cherry Chim-Chimney Chimichangas (the eventual naming compromise), DANG if they didn’t smell good.

The man at the counter looked up as the group walked in. He sighed to himself. Tourists, one and all. Americans, probably, he thought darkly. Two of them were dressed like a bad cowboy film, and another was covered in hair. He would get out the textbook language. He smiled wanly at the customers. “Bonjour, madames et monsieurs. Vous-desirez?”

The one with purple hair smiled dazzlingly. “Let me handle this, darlings,” she said to the others.

She stepped up to the counter. “Bonjour, monsieur. Tu accepter les, er, coins du gold?”

The man stared at her. “Quoi?”

The blonde with the red-and-white-checked shirt stepped forward. “Aw, quit with yer fancy-talk, Rares.” She turned to the man behind the counter. “Bonjour, monsieur. Nous désirons de gâteau, mais ils n’ont pas l’argent locale. Nous avons seulement pièces d’or.” She held up what looked to be a disc of solid gold, emblazoned with the head of a unicorn. “Peut nous vous payez avec la?”

The man stared at the freckled blonde cowgirl. This did not entirely compute with his worldview, particularly as it regarded the parts of the world which were not France. He may, therefore, be forgiven for merely stammering out, “Oui, madame. Bien sur.”

“Mademoiselle,” the woman corrected. “Nous désirons un gâteau chocolate, s’il-vous plaît. Aussi, quatre des tartes aux pommes. Combien fait?”

“Euh, vingt-trois euros, mademoiselle. Peut-être… trois pièces d’or?”

“Ce fait semblant de juste,” she nodded. Three gold coins were placed on the counter. “Tiens la monnaie,” she added as an afterthought. “Pas les mathématiques passade.”

“Merci, mademoiselle.”

Applejack accepted the bag full of goodies. “Au revoir, monsieur.”

She turned to see the others all staring. “What? Y’all forget how t’ speak plain Equestrian or summat?”

***

“A key,” Minuette said suddenly, dropping her book. “I was looking for a key.”

Starlight looked up in confusion. “You were? When was this? Can I help you find it?”

The two had left the others some time before to visit the library. Starlight was reading a text on ancient civilizations, while Minuette had opted away from her normal philosophical sojourns to try a book on thermodynamics, of all things. That book was now lying open on the floor, which couldn’t be good for its spine. “I— I was looking for a key,” Minuette repeated, struggling to remember. “First, I— I looked under a rock. Yes, a blue rock. There was a lizard next to it, I think. Then, then I looked on… a ship? No, that can’t be right.”

Starlight set down her book. “Minnie, you’re scaring me. What are you talking about?”

“Pirates,” Minuette replied miserably. “There was a nasty parrot, and a wicked queen. Then, I looked in a stone circle, and in a castle garden. Then…” she trailed off. “Then, I think… I think I met myself.”

Starlight got up. “Okay, that’s it. We are getting Twilight. Now.”

“I tried to look in the swamp, but there was a squid in the way,” Minuette said dully, her eyes glazed. “And— and then, I asked myself, where was the key, and I said, I am the key. Me. Astra.” Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she fell off her chair.

***

“So y’all didn't understand what Ah was sayin’? Or that other fella?”

“You were speaking another language,” Calco confirmed.

“Prench, darling. Word-perfect Prench.”

Applejack frowned. “That don't make sense. Ah was talkin’ Equestrian th’ whole time, and so was that fancy feller.”

“I assure you, darling, you were not.”

“Guys, are you going to try these tarts or not?” Caramel asked. “They're good.”

Applejack got up. “Ah reckon mebbe Ah’d best get a little fresh air,” she said, grabbing a pastry. “Ah’ll be outside.” The others watched her go in silence.

“The cake’s good, too,” Caramel said.

***

Colgate’s brow was furrowed in concentration. She had ostensibly been telling the Doctor a story about her days in dental school for the last ten minutes, but she was plainly distracted. Her eyes would occasionally flicker to the side, then back to the menu before her. She kept repeating details. Eventually, the Doctor’s curiosity won out. “Something the matter?”

“Hm?” Colgate looked up in surprise. “Oh. No, it’s nothing. Just not quite sure what to order.”

“Sure?” the Doctor asked.

Colgate sighed. “No. It feels like I’ve been here before, a sort of weird deja vu, y’know? Just like it was back on Alzarius.” She looked around the cafe. “You came here. This restaurant. With Romana.”

The Doctor didn’t respond. “There was someone else here, an artist,” she continued, faster. “He drew a picture of m— of her, with a broken clock for a face. And then— then—” She broke off.

“You can’t be her,” the Doctor said quietly. “I know you can’t. She’s dead. But if you aren’t her…”

“How do I know all this?” Colgate finished.

The Doctor stared at her. “I wish I knew,” he sighed.

Author's Note:

For those of you who don't know French, here's the translation.
Pastry-Maker: Hello, madames and sirs. What would you like?
Rarity: Hello, sir. Do you, er, take, um... gold... coins?
P-M: ...What?
Applejack: Howdy, pardner. We'd like some cake, but we don't have none of your local money. All we've got is these gold coins. Can we pay with them?
P-M: Yes, madame. Of course.
AJ: That's madam. We'd like a chocolate cake, please, and four apple tarts. How much does that cost?
P-M: Er, 23 euros. Perhaps... three gold coins?
AJ: Sounds fair to me. Keep the change. No fancy mathematics.
P-M: Thank you.
AJ: Good-bye.