• Member Since 9th Aug, 2016
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Ace Pony Stories


I'm a Brony I'm Canadian I have lived in Canada my whole life I love Pokemon, My little pony, and Ace Attorney

T

One night walking home, Twilight Sparkle finds a 5-year old colt hiding in an ally and takes him home she finds out the colt is an orphan and his name is Skaterloo. Now she has to find where he came from but when the time comes will the unicorn be able so say goodbye.

*First 3-4 chapters take place before season 1*

*there might be shipping in later chapters*

Skaterloo=Rule 63 Scootaloo

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 47 )
Comment posted by Edenme deleted March 12th

This stories got my attention and look good.

Why call him Skaterloo?

8792238

Clearly, he's going to use hoofskates, not a scooter.

I'll read this one when a few more chapters are out.

Well done you gained a follower

8792248
You mentioned possible shipping in later chapters. What will the ship be if you decide to add shipping?

8792356
I don’t know yet but ideas I had are

Twilight X Lyra Heartstrings
Twilight X Minuette
Twilight X Moondancer
Twilight X Rarity
Maybe: Twilight X Flash Sentry

And if I ship Skaterloo with someone it would be
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon

8792376
Anything but the last one!

8792382
Twilight X Flash Sentry or Skaterloo with Silver Spoon?

8792399
Flashlight is my favourite straight ship with Twilight at least
I do like Rarilight and Twidancer a little bit more so It might be one of those or the other F/F ships I listed.

8792407
Ok. Just saying that if it turns out to be flash I will immediately stop reading. I'm sorry but that's just how I am.

I just hope there Skaterloo x Sweetie Belle, because that my favourite ship and I have a serious problem.... :unsuresweetie: I'll still read this once two or three more chapters are out, I like giving every story a fair chance, well the ones that have good ideas behind them. I do like this idea, and I this might be a great story, so umm... Good luck on future chapters

It's an interesting concept. I can't wait to see where this story goes.

I feel like he is related to scootaloo

8793980
Your comments a joke right? because HE IS SCOOTALOO!

No it wasn’t I thaught they were diffrent

8794026
Well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter

Comment posted by Scootalooforlife deleted March 13th

I did and can’t wait for next chapter

I actually really hope you don'T skip trough the seasons, no matter how long it maybe takes, I want to see much from him and Twilight, I wouldn't like to feel like "half the season was skipped and suddenly they or Scaterloo has a bunch of friends and everything if you know what I mean.
I like to make sure/ask for the bonding moments and important events to be shown.

Twilight felt some tears roll down her cheeks, she reached a hoof out and rubbed the younger pony’s cheek with it. It both soothed the colt but also brought up memories of the last of his family he knew his Aunt Holiday and Auntie Lofty the two of them passed when he was three and he ended up in the Ponyville orphanage he couldn’t tell Twilight that he came from there he couldn’t go back nopony even cared about him there.

I know it'S probably easier that way, but I don't think it would hurt to think of different aunts/familly than some characters seems to have especially if it is a genderswapped version.
I mean I think those aunts are the aunts that they say Scootaloo seems to have right?, or some kind of fan thing.
I kind of shouldn't pick out the small things all the time, but I like it if I don't see the same thing being used over and over again sometimes. It is not that bad right now, I just can't stop myself from mentioning it sometimes.

I kind of hope Twilight being already an mother get's more than a bit of an reaction out of the main six, I don't think I actually saw it already that they made a special thing out of a young Mare like her having a child already. I could image them eihter being impressed, concerned,....forgot the third emotion somehow.

“W-we’ll I’m 18 legally I could!” Twilight started. Skaterloo rose his head a bit at the unicorn’s statement but his hope fell once she finished, “B-but I don’t think I’m ready.”

huh? I could swear I saw her being 16 at the beginning.


8792376
please not Flash Sentry, he did nothing wrong most of the time, but after talking with some people and knowing his personality was as developed as the one toilet paper seems to have and whatever you could say to him, I have to try really hard to give him a chance most of the time.

I would be also against Lyra, just because I see her to often I think, that and I would prefer a shipping with Bon Bon over Lyra, I just like her more and not even necessarily because of her agent job she has in some stories.

Minuette...I think I knew who that was, the one that is a dentist sometimes right?, somehow this is not bad but not interessting either.

Moondancer....well a recent story made me a bit more interessted in her so why not.
I can also image her with Rarity if you make her approach it right.

While I would also like Scootaloo to exist, i don't want it to be like "scootaloo x Skaterloo", I hate cloneshipping a bit.
I think for now the foals should stay foals/friends, maybe in a sequel there could be more.

If you would even create an OC for her, then I have to say that I never had a nervous or insecure colt aproaching the main char.
The only times I ever got that was when the main char itself was the shy and insecure one and made himself like the typicall idiot that mostly Main chars get to be.
I want something else instead of the splitting image of a perfect father/second mother.

Now three more random and probably ridiculous ideas
Mrs. Harswinney
Three Hugger.
Aloe/whats her name

edit: If you think you would write a sequel or a long story then maybe hold of the shippings for a while, build up a good friendship between possible shippings and focus on the mother son bonding first.

8792376
I think I would also like Skaterloo x Silverspoon if you can write her likeable, at the beginning she was one of my favourite foals.
Diamond would be alright too, but I think I see her to often in shippings at the moment with one of the crussaiders.


8792399
I agree.


8792407
Why actually? I mean if you like it then it's okay, but I think one of my reasons to hate it was that it felt so unnaturally for Twilight to fall in love with him for no reason and even if they have several species at home it was probably slightly strange to fall in love with a human so fast. I'm not sure about the last one, that thought came up just right now.
He was kind of a test dummy during the movie, I have to stop now or I'm going to talk about why they can still transform if Twilight isn't there and why it was suddenly only because of music or how many ways to transform they suddenly seems to get.


8792415
It is probably the same for me (I hate Flash somehow), I hardly consume just anything anyway, I have enough stories in which there is something that doesn't seems to work for me, be it because the author fails to explain it right and my imagination takes over, or because they use a bad idea.

8794189
For the edit

The shipping is still only a possibility a possibility I’m heavily leaning towards but still a possibility and don’t worry the story will focus more on Twilight and Skaterloo’s relationship than others

And sorry to say Scootaloo won’t exist in any other way but Skaterloo

I don’t know what shipping I’ll choose but if I were to order them from most likely to least likely it would be
(Twilight)
Twilight X Moondancer
Twilight X Flash Sentry (sorry)
Twilight X Lyra
Twilight X Minuette
Twilight X Rarity (might have them in another story)

(Skaterloo)
Skaterloo X Silver Spoon
Skaterloo X Diamond Tiara
Skaterloo X Sweetie Belle
Skaterloo X Apple Bloom

8794300
Well okay, like I said I don't really see the appeal with Lyra and Flash but I wait it out for now. I'm just saying your writing skilld would have to make up for it if you should use Flash, otherwise I can't image to be to happy with it.

I suggest to give him at least a different personality, which should be easy since I really don't remember him having one.

For the CMC shippings, I'm okay with that, but I like it that you not exactly planning it right now and want to focus on the bonding between him and Twilight.

8794189
You mentioned the main 6 in your comment speaking of that I was thinking of using the Twilight’s Canterlot friends or the Canterlot Six as they’ve been called. Though I may still use the main 6, don’t know yet but I’m kind of leaning towards the former

8797980
sorry but tonight it seems I'm not quite understanding what you mean right now.
Was this still about the shippings that might happen later?, or that you wanted to include the Canterlot? six in the story?.

Right now it doesn't looks like the worst thing to do I guess, ahh to tired for a long answer.

8798168
Sorry I could have worded that better

I mean I could use the Canterlot six as the elements of harmony instead of the main six

8798215
Okay thank you I start to understand it better and I took a better look at my last comment.

Well that sounds good and uhm was that about me wanting several reactions from the main six about Twilight havingt a child?
It probably would have helped if you would have put the part you was commenting on in the

quote box

.

If you actually meant to let this play out in the other world, that is fine too. I'm tired now and that isn't helping me right now, good night for now.

is it wrong that I was hoping for skaterloo to be mistaken for a filly

8816417
I think Lyra would think skaterloo was a filly

8816457
So many run-on sentences! Seriously, get an editor.

8816494
Someone did offer to help but I haven’t heard back from them in a while

I could have my tutor look at it she is helping me with ‘Luna mother of Twilight Sparkle’ because if you couldn’t tell from this I’m clueless about what makes a ‘run-on sentence’

Well the whole minor grudge that if this is Rule 63 Scootaloo their name is Scootaroll (I think?), but that is not here nor there.

The mane thing is that some of the reactions and interactions are a bit akward, I would need a second read but yeah they feel out of place or seem forced.

Has potencial but needs fine tunning.

8816527
Give some examples if you can please?

8816527

8816494

Do you know anyone who would be willing to help with editing

8816650
Unfortunately not. I'm busy atm so I can't do it either

8816703

8816665
Ok, I’ll try and find someone if can’t I can always have my Dad and/or tutor look over it.

P.S Although your feedback is VERY VERY much appreciated and I do intend on following it I would like a bit more to go off of I’m still new to writing and having a disability certainly doesn’t help

I like it, but I have not much to say today.

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