On a Friday
An idea that I had. My next story should be out by the end of next week. I think this would be a good theme.
A shove, pushing, thrown projectiles and hateful words. All seem to be having a field day with CHS. For the last week, this is all Sunset Shimmer has known. Ever since this Anon-a-miss had started her life had been hell. It had gotten to the point where some days she didn't even get through the day.
First period, her chair was kicked, had erasers and pencils thrown at her. Second period, Sunset didn't even make it to the classroom before she was pushed to the ground and had her backpack ripped away from her. Which was then used as a ball and kicked around. When she reached for it someone stepped on her hand, leaving a foot-shaped bruise. Lunch, Rainbow Dash backed her into a corner flinging insults at Sunset. Yelling at her to stop Anon-a-miss. Sunset didn't react, she didn't cry or even flinch when Rainbow got fed up and slapped her. Fourth period was so bad that Sunset stood up and walked out of class and soon the school.
Now she was back. This time she wasn't even through the door when she was pelted by water balloons. It wasn't the first time, she started bringing a spare change of clothes in her bag a few days ago. Some of the students have started to back off, very few. For whatever the reason but, Sunset didn't care. It was as if she was on autopilot. Go to school, get harassed, leave and then try to find a place to spend the night. Before this Sunset did have a place. A nice apartment, where the owner just so happens to be a parent of an Anon-a-miss victim. Sunset found herself on the streets soon after. She lost her job too. The big brother of another Anon-a-miss victim threw her out the same day.
It’s Wednesday, two more days before school lets out for the holidays. Sunset, of course, would be spending it alone. Some kid stole her book and put it in a cabinet, locking the thing shut and literally throwing away the key. Well, in this case, dropping it down a sink full of chemicals. Due to some event on the other side of the portal Twilight closed it so no one accidentally went through. Saying too just write to her if Sunset needs to go through.
Sure Sunset was a wreck when her friends abandoned her and the school turned on her but, now? Sunset couldn't cry if she wanted to. Sunset looked straight ahead and never talked to anyone, she just shut down. The only thing she could feel was pain when she was shoved into lockers or pushed to the ground. It seemed to be all she knew.
Friday, end of the day.
When Sunset opened the door to her locker it seemed like a bomb went off. Suddenly her world went dark. She could feel thick, sticky liquid covering her face shoulders and chest. Wiping her eyes, she saw that it was brown, almost black. Molasses. Suddenly two students appeared at her side and each started throwing bags of cheap fake feathers on her. All the while the rest of the students were laughing and cheering on the two students.
“Way too go!”
“Go to hell Anonamiss”
“Yeah!”
“Karma’s a bitch isn't it She-demon!”
“Why, molasses? You should have used tar!”
“Go back to your world Sunshit Shitter”
This only went on for a short time. Sunset never moved or said a word, she was just looking around. She caught the eyes of a few of her former friends, locking eyes with Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy all in turn. The only signs of emotion was a single tear falling from the corner of her eye. She looked to the ground and shifted her weight so her backpack was resting on one shoulder. The only one that seemed like she wanted to help was Fluttershy, not that it would matter much longer. Sunset let her bag drop to the floor, taking a piece of paper and something out that glinted off the hallway lights, putting it in her pocket. Then she stood up and walked away down the hall. Leaving her bag behind.
One week later.
It's Wednesday and vacation had just ended. During the entire vacation, Anon-a-miss had kept going strong. It's safe to say that almost every student had a secret leaked by Anon-a-miss. School was supposed to start Tuesday but Celestia called the students saying that vacation has been extended for a day due to Anon-a-miss. Not that anyone was complaining. Things seemed to be normal, as normal as everything can get since the start of Anon-a-miss. Of course, a large group stood crowded by Sunsets locker as usual but, she never came. The less intelligent students thought she was sick or just ditched, the more intelligent thought it had something to do with the school assembly at the end of the day.
“Ah’ don't care where that snake says, Shy. she had her chance an’ she gave it up.”
“Indeed darling, that scoundrel played us for fools”
“Yeah! What she did was definitely not cool.”
“Just forget about that secret stealer Sh-”
“NO! You listen to me right now girls, you are wrong! Sunset doesn't have anything to do with this and I already know who the real Anon-a-miss is. I'm going to the principal's office to let them know.
“Wait! What makes yah’ think that Sunset ain't Anon-a-miss”
“I had a hunch who it was so I gave them some bait, they took it. I also told Sunset something that I never told anyone.”
What did you tell her?
“I told Anon-a-miss that had hair extensions and soon enough she posted it.”
“What did you tell Sun-”
“Wouldn't you like to know.”
With that Fluttershy left the rest of the girls, their jaw hanging. She walked to Sunsets locker hoping that she would be there. Of course no luck. The rest of the day went by smoothly, some people were celebrating on how they managed to scare Sunset off. Those that knew Sunset more were getting worried especially Fluttershy. Sunset never missed a day of school, even if she was sick Sunset was here. She was never late either, not even after the Fall Formal. Some students noticed this and caught Fluttershy on her way out of class for third block. All asking where Sunset was, Fluttershy unable to answer simply replied with an “I don't know” More people noticed, asking the other Rainbooms about where Sunset was. None of them could give an answer. People tried to call her phone but it went straight to voicemail. No one could get ahold of her. Before forth block started Celestia called an assembly.
When everyone was seated Celestia, Luna and several police officers stepped on stage. Celestia was a wreck, clearly in no way able to give a speech. Luna took the mic. “This Anon-a-miss profile has become a professional case due to an unfortunate event that occured over vacation. Officer Shining armor, if you will.”
He took the mic while two officers began setting up a projector and a laptop. “We can trace the Anon-a-miss profile to the last devices to sign in. Already we have checked the school computers, which had indeed been used to sign into the Anon-a-miss account. If the electronic is a phone or tablet an alarm will sound on the device then, my friends here will bring the culprits up onto the stage. Any violence or resistance will result in an imitate arrest.” Motioning to the guys standing by the computer one of them hit a button. In an instant three separate rings were going out among the crowd. Revealing three freshman who had sunk in their seats. The public outcry was spontaneous. The officers quickly moved to the the freshman and brought them on stage.
“Now.” Luna had the mic again. “I would like you to see what your actions caused, seeing as you were not around when these events took place Anon-a-miss.” Hitting play on the laptop revealed the moment when Sunsets friends abandoned her, when her bag was ripped from her and when she was basically tarred and feathered. The screen zoomed in on Applejack and Rainbow Dash walking away from Sunset when they made eye contact. Several hostile looks where cast their way in the stands along with several not so hushed whispers. The girls, besides Fluttershy were in shock. All thinking, why would they do this, what did we do? The Canterlot Movie Club was staring at the screen, which had a video playing of Sunset being covered in molasses and feathers.
“We never wanted things to go this far.”
Having overheard them Luna handed the mic back to Shining Armor. “I am unfortunate to say that things get worse.” When everyone's eyes were back on him he continued. “She lived in an apartment, this apartment just so happens to be owned by a family member of an Anon-a-miss victim. Unfortunately shortly after the landlord threw her out. On the same day the brother of another Anon-a-miss victim fired Sunset Shimmer from her job, leaving her homeless with no source of income.” The silence in the room was defining. Shining armor could see a few students shedding tears and another few glaring at the CMC. “I believe that your principal has something to say.
Clearing her throat and again wiping her eyes Celestia began. “As far as punishment goes, those that physically harassed Sunset will be have an out of school suspension for two months, then given three more months of in-school suspension and after-school detention. Those that uploaded to Anon-a-miss will be given three months of in-school suspension and detention. Those that verbally harassed Sunset Shimmer will be given six months of detention and with have privileges stripped away. Finally Anon-a-miss themselves will be expelled indefinitely and handed to the police.” Outrage filled the auditorium. The loudest was the sisters of Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
“Now that Anon-a-miss is caught Sunset will be fine! You don't need to give them to the police.”
“Please students I know that this punishment may seem unfair but I have not yet finished. This next portion is the reason I was unable to allow students to attend school Tuesday.” When everyone had quieted down and focused on her Celestia continued. “It is with great sorrow that I must announce that, due to Anon-a-miss a student… Has committed suicide. The student was none other than Sunset Shimmer.” I was too busy arranging her funeral with Princess Twilight in order to attend school. Now I believe she wants a word with you.” Taking a long look around the gym Celestia could see that every student had one of three responses. Some were crying others where trying to find a place to land their eyes. Most, however, were shock.
“Thank you, principal. I am simply here to deliver a message. The only reason why we have chosen not to seek retribution for this deed was that our laws forbade it. However, I hope that you never have another magical crisis because we will not rescue you. I hope this was worth it. Now I will take my leave.”
“Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo you are under arrest.
On her way out of the Gym, Celestia stopped her. “Fluttershy, Sunset wanted you to have this.” Walking a ways to the bathroom she sat down and began reading.
Shy, this isn't your fault. I know you wanted to help me and I need to thank you for that. Besides Celestia and Luna, you were the only one who cared. I'm sorry for doing this to you but I can’t take it anymore. You saw what happened Friday or today I guess. No one but you three wants me here. The CMC made sure of that. I tried my best you know, I donated what little money I had, I did free tutoring and even volunteered. I thought they could forgive me after the battle of the bands but, I was wrong. Shy, I’m going to miss you. I know I never said this but I should. I love you too. Goodbye.
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Wait, the story repeats itself after the first instance of Fluttershy receiving the letter.
I would like to point out that everything after this line
Up through Fluttershy reading the 'Goodbye', is repeated a second time.
8785529
I noticed that too might want to fix that.
Still, this one hits the heart with sadness
Heartwrenching. Also, the last few paragraphs copied themselves, making it repeat.
8785529 Yeah, I noticed that myself.
Here's hoping that the author will fix that before long, as it's a bit distracting.
Otherwise, great story.
8785571
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8785529
Wow can't believe i missed that! thanks for pointing it out
This is some Grade-A wangst you got here.
well girls i hope it was worth it. sunsets dead, and the three of you probably are never going to see the outside of prison, lets see given the internet act and the bullying trickle down effect we have...
identity theft one count
physical harassment (... gonna just attempt to ballpark it here) thirty six confirm-able counts
physical assault too many counts
public deformation
fragrant misuse of government resources and properties (funny fact, school computers owned by the school/district which is considered part of the government)
and oh yes, premeditated manslaughter in first second and third degree.
yeah never mind the whole 'tried as adults tried as children' argument, your pretty much going to get out of juvenile hall, directly onto a bus for prison.
Well, CMC, I hope you all are satisfied. You destroyed a girl’s life and drove her to suicide just because you were jealous and didn’t want to stop. So enjoy your free trip to prison, ladies!
With all these suicide stories it spawned, I REALLY don't want to read that comic now. At least the Forgotten Friendship episode has Sunset coming through it better than ever, from what I heard. And the CMC are behind it? Here we thought what their pony counterparts did in Ponyville Confidential was bad.
(Not hating on this story or any others like it just so you know, and I did read it)
8785747
The only difference I see with Anon-a-miss and Pony Confidential is that Diamond Tiara blackmailed the CMC in PC and the CMC did Anon-a-miss themselves. No blackmail in that.
8785607 For my part, you're very welcome.
I like to help out where I can.
8785840
That makes it even worse that they'd do something like that on their own. I know comics are separate continuity from the show, but still. It sounds almost as bad as Chrysalis killing a kitten in Issue 3. (Oh, if Sunset found out about that, we know she loves kittens as much as I do)
8785840
Actually diamond only blackmailed them when they tried to stop. The whole Gabby Gums thing was entirely the CMC's idea.
8785867
don't forget the hypocrisy of the ponies
you should have had Twilight rip the traitors a new one
also out of curiosity what do you mean by "expelled indefinitely"
CAN'T WAKE UP
Seriously, though. What did I just read and how was I able to predict from the fucking tags that Sunset would straight up kill herself? Oh right, because that's the obvious way to go about things.
Not to mention the fact that this is hilariously unrealistic and just serves to bully Sunset into submission in order for the audience to feel sympathy for her. I'm sorry, but you can't just fire someone and kick them out of an apartment because they're a supposed "bully". That's not how the law works and that landlord/manager would probably end up receiving jail time.
I understand what you were attempting to do, but this is straight up completely and utterly abusive to a character because people thought she was Anon-A-Miss. Not knew, assumed. Nobody would go this far to drive someone to suicide unless they knew for sure, let alone an entire school.
Also:
This is not how school suspension works. I once physically assaulted a teacher and got two weeks suspension at most. You're not going to get a 2-3 month suspension for assaulting a student, even if it indirectly drove them to suicide. Especially since the entire school was in on this harassment. Does that mean that the entire student base is just straight up barred from the school? They're losing a whole TWO MONTHS of school over this.
This entire story is in this bizarro universe where one minute everyone hates Sunset Shimmer then when she fucking kills herself, suddenly everyone gives a fucking shit. If she was hated THAT MUCH, NOBODY would give a damn. But for the sake of garnering audience sympathy, everyone now feels bad.
And yes, suicide is a serious issue and shouldn't be handled lightly and there was at least an attempt at writing a good story here, but nothing makes sense and it all comes off as some young person thinks bullying is, or what would happen if someone killed themselves due to bullying. This is absurd, even for Equestria Girls.
I would say this was wasted potential, but there's probably at least another 30 stories with this same idea due to how often people source the Anon-A-Miss story-line for cheap drama and an easy way to establish a bullying motive. You know what the worst part is? This isn't even close to the damage bullying can do. This is straight up assaulting someone and should have been taken care of as soon as possible, not giving the students fucking 2 month suspensions AFTER SHE KILLS HERSELF. WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO FOR ANYONE?
Alright, alright. I'm being too harsh. But this story is so overdone and it's handed so poorly and with leaps in logic that would make a frog blush, I can't say I liked this. Others might because they get emotionally invested in the drama and ignore the glaring logical flaws, and that's fine, whatever. But just know that there's massive logical flaws in the story. We all have our vices and that's okay.
Poor Sunset. Aka Trixie 2.0
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im using the other definition of indefinitely. "to an unlimited or unspecified degree or extent." Celestia has made their expulsion public for all the world to see. Much like they did with everyone's secrets.
8785973
Thats perfectly fine, I can understand the flaws you pointed out and I respect your opinion. I will take this into account the next time a write a story. Thank you for the feed back.
8786004
Yeah, sorry about going full nerd rage. Wasted potential is my pet peeve.
8786054
its understandable. I actually like getting feedback like this.
I think its safe to say the Friendship Games are canceled. Because I don't think even Cinch would go through with them after this. Let alone the school board.
So with that, I don't think we have to worry about any more magical disasters. Unless of course Princess Twilight does not obliderate the mirror and then throw whatever's left into a black hole, and Sci Twi stumbles through.
But that's a whole nother thing.
8785867
Thank you!
8785973
They didn't hate her that much, they just acted stupid, and blinded themselves to what was going on. anger and stupidity mixed together can do this.
They also Assume Sunset was faking or wasn't that badly affected so, yeah yeah I know but even a lesser level of bullying can lead to the target taking their lives in real life.
But the rest yeah it was way too out there, thou yes the sisters getting arrested could happen, thou should of had Twilight scream at the three elder sisters for being hypocrites, they defend their sisters for being arrested and expelled but they easily turn their backs on Sunset?
Should had a bit with Twilight ripping in them, and maybe thier magic leaving them suddenly and painfully.
It’s good.
8786658
thank you
What I enjoyed about it was that while it did reinforce some of the problems that some people have with Sunset being suicidal it didn't push the readers face into it, it brought it up, and explained how it was led to. But other than that it was decently set up.
Sure it's unethical and immoral to fire someone from a job or kick them out due to bullying a relative, but the problem is that if she's an illegal alien then that means that she doesn't really have any rights. Which is sad for her but it's the truth.
Thats one of the things I liked. Another thing was that it wasn't something big that set her off, it was all the little things that just kept building and building till she couldn't take it.
8795858
thanks!
I liked it
the issue is I feel its too rushed should have been longer.
id say rework it to be longer. the ending needs work XD
like it feels like it suddenly stops. i would have loved to have seen the aftermath of this.
8796107
yeah i get it. im planning on making a sequel
8796274
YES :D
8796274
If you do make a sequel can you have someone point out to the three older sisters what hypocrites they are?
As they protested their little sisters being arrested, but it was Sunset they would cheered for it.
8799810
yeah, planning on it for sure. I think Shy and Twi is gonna be te ones to do it
8799939
Good!
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Heck, I can’t help but wonder if those three had wanted the CMC to get off scotfree without any punishment.
8814634 Thankfully, I've read some fics where the opposite happened, and AJ, Rarity and Dash ripped heir little sisters a new one once they found out/figured out that they were the ones who were (are?) actually behind Anon-a-Miss.
Heck, in one of the aforesaid fics, Rarity actually even kicked Sweetie out of the Boutique, and sent her back to live with their parents full time, she was so mad at her.
8837848
I meant in this story.
I seen those fanfics. Especially the one at the end: Rarity told Sweetie Belle that she wasn’t going to let her stay if she wasn’t going to respect her or her friends.
8838203 Oh, I know.
Okay, cool.
A little quick there. Especially the ending there. Twilight was like hi bye which felt hollow. Meh could of been better
8844216
She's sticking around for now, Im gonna make a sequel eventually
You may want to parse this through a grammar and spell checker. There were a few words that were off, like a misspelling of immediate. There are also spots where it looks like you forgot or misplaced the quotation marks. Those errors aside it was pretty good.
8856578
Thanks!
8844588
When the sequel be out?
8882804
i don't know, im working on getting a few new stories out first.
8883986
Ok
8785977
I can honestly say that I always find the Trixie 2.0 thing odd, they are similar if you boil it down to using an artifact for power but beyond that they have little in common other than being reformed and female.
Mmm.
8785973
I agree man. Anon-a-Miss is really hard to do well, and is often a cheap excuse for scuicide stories.
Omg! I AM OUTRAGED! I HOPE YOU THREE SUFFER THE GUILT!!! (I am a biased Sunny fan, bite me!) but this was really good! Nice job!