Chapter 8
In the midst of tea and a few chocolate biscuits, Chartreuse found her calm once more. While the horrors of the previous night were still with her, she regained her outward composure. Nibbling on a biscuit, she took stock of what she believed to be true. She rather liked tea, and probably had a preference for it, but rather enjoyed coffee and the enjoyment of one did not exclude her from the other. Fillies held a certain alluring attraction, especially white ones with plush, inviting curves along with alluring feminine voices, and while she enjoyed looking at them a great deal, there was nothing stopping her from looking at colts—later perhaps, when she was ready. Chartreuse knew that she owed it to herself to explore her options and be fully aware of her choices.
As for night or day, she would continue to walk in the day for as long as was possible, for as long as the ponies of the day would welcome her, and then, perhaps, she might go quietly into the night. But there was a long time between now and then, with a multitude of factors, not to mention the fact that life had funny plans of its own, often enough. For now, it was enough to be bold and see what life had to offer.
The truth had to be told to Chalcedony, she owed that to her friend, and perhaps telling Rarity the truth would be best as well. If she kept secrets, shameful secrets, if she kept skeletons in her closet as the old creepy saying went, then any encounters with shadowlings in the future might go badly. Why, if one of them ever took the form of Chalcedony, or even Rarity, and she had to strike them down, well, one might hesitate and that would be disastrous.
Seized with a brilliant idea, Chartreuse decided to bake brownies to make herself feel better.
The whole of the tower was filled with the aroma of something almost exotic and foreign. Chartreuse, in a fit of inspiration, had added some of the spicy chai powder to the brownie mix, not knowing the outcome. Now, her pan of brownies was cooling atop the stove, and her home smelled wonderful, just wonderful. Chalcedony and Nomination hadn’t been sent home early today, and that was a good sign.
But they would be home any time now and Chartreuse was anxious to see them.
There were things to tell them; important things, life-changing things, things that had to be said. Nomination had to be pushed into the light, so that he wouldn’t live a lie. Chalcedony had to be told the truth. The house had to be cleaned up and be put in order before Nomination’s mother showed up, which meant that there was a lot to do with very little time to do it. Nomination in particular, really needed to be sorted out so that he would be in a good condition to face the Major when she arrived.
Surely, the Major would appreciate cleanliness.
And if not… the Major could shove off.
“Chartreuse…” Chalcedony’s shock and surprise was such that she used her friend’s full name. “Your leg, it’s all glowy… and you… you’re a bit glowyer than you were. Is that a word, glowyer? I mean, you’re not super-bright, but you’re glowy-er, I guess?”
Eyes moistening a bit, Chartreuse looked down at her left foreleg but really couldn’t see much of anything that was different. She inhaled, lifted her head to look at her friends once more, and then saw that Nomination was sniffing, no doubt trying to figure out what she had baked by what he could smell.
“Shining Armor brought you home last night,” Chalcedony continued and her voice grew extra-squeaky. “You were completely out of it and I was freaked out and worried about you but Shining Armor said that you were fine but I was scared and worried and so he tucked you into bed and then he told me a bedtime story to calm me down and then when I felt better he tucked me into bed, he kissed me goodnight, and then he kissed you goodnight, and then after that, he was gone.” Now breathing hard, the blind filly sucked in some much needed wind.
Chartreuse could remember nothing of coming home and could only barely remember getting her lip stitched. But coming home? She had no memory of that and when she thought of Emperor Shining Armor—her master—tucking her into bed, she blushed so hard that it made her injured face ache.
“Shining Armor has really awful bedtime stories,” Chalcedony gasped. “The one he told last night was about a sister and a brother getting abandoned in the woods and they find a cottage made of sweets and it seemed really awesome right up until the part where the kindly old zebra mare reveals herself as an evil enchantress and the two foals shove her into her own preheated four hundred and fifty degree oven. Awful!”
“I feel that having the kindly old zebra mare revealing herself as an evil enchantress is culturally insensitive,” Nomination remarked while shaking his head in disapproval. “Chartreuse, are you well? Emperor Shining Armor told us that you delivered a righteous smiting last night and that you slew demons. Is this true? Or was the Emperor… exaggerating?”
Put on the spot, Chartreuse wasn’t sure how to respond. Her master had boasted about her, and this almost caused a squeal of joy to escape. Somehow maintaining her calm, she shrugged. “Last night I faced three shadowlings. Well-fed shadowlings. On my own. Things didn’t quite go as planned, but I managed.”
“That’s terrifying.” Nomination shoved Chalcedony aside so that he could pass and he strode over to where Chartreuse stood. “There is something different about you, Chartreuse. You… you are not the pony that you were yesterday. My senses warn me that you are a potential danger.”
“Perhaps I am,” Chartreuse replied. Dismayed by what her friend had said, her thoughts raced with ideas about how the night claimed ponies, and how the light might fade for her. Was this a sign? Had she transitioned? What did this mean? “There is tea in the kitchen, and I baked brownies. Nomination, Chalcedony… we need to talk. I need to talk… actually, and you need to listen. We have some house cleaning to do.”
It felt different now, preparing her friend’s tea. She was older somehow, Chartreuse was, or perhaps she had reached some plateau of maturity ahead of them. Maybe the change had been there for a while… maybe the change had started when she had boldly gone out the door to face the ice orcs and save their home. Perhaps it started out as so gradual of a change that Chartreuse had failed to notice it.
Was this how it would be? Would she not notice how the light would fade a little each day? The prospect was terrifying. Now she was freaking out about it and she was disappointed with herself for doing so. It was something that she would have to straighten out and make peace with. She knew of the dangers of outgrowing one’s friends, to drift apart with age, but this… this was something that she could barely comprehend.
“Chalcedony, I owe you a confession.”
“What’s that?” the blind filly asked while sniffing at the brownie that Chartreuse had plopped down upon a small, octogonal plate in front of her.
No mincing words. No dancing around the issue. Only honesty. Give the shadowlings nothing to work with. “Chalcedony, I find you attractive and I have a crush on you. Sometimes, when you cuddle with me, I want to feel you up or be felt up by you.”
Lifting her head, Chalcedony squinted at Chartreuse, almost as if she was trying to see. Nomination made strange sounds, echolocative noises of distress, and he too stopped what he was doing to look at Chartreuse. In strained silence, Chalcedony grew pinker, her ears most of all, and she pressed both of her front hooves together against her barrel.
“Snuggle time just got weird,” she squeaked.
“I’m sorry,” Chartreuse said in a very matter-of-fact way and she wondered how much she should say. How much to explain? “I am considering a career path where keeping secrets would be detrimental. Last night, one of my own secretive shames placed me in grave danger. Imps don’t play nice.”
“Charty, don’t take this wrong, but I don’t wanna be in lesbians with you.” Chalcedony had progressed well beyond pink, and was now exploring red territory. “That kinda stuff weirds me out, Charty. I can’t help it and please don’t think I’m mean. It’s fine for other ponies, but I wanna have foals. I can’t be in lesbians with you, but we can be friends, alright?”
Hearing these words, Chartreuse could not help but feel a little disappointed, but this was expected. Crushes crushed. Just as she was about to say something—she had to say something because she owed Chalcedony that—Nomination made an interjection.
“I had impure thoughts about you wearing a Fancy maid outfit!” he blurted out. “It got so bad that I had to go to the little colt’s room and wait for it to pass. I’m so sorry, Chartreuse, for thinking of you this way! I promise to behave! I promise! Sorry Charty, but you’re kind of coltish in the way that you’re so domineering and aggressive and it is really confusing to me sometimes!”
The tension of the moment was broken by Chalcedony’s good-natured giggling and Chartreuse had never been happier to hear the joyful sound. Now, she too, was embarrassed, but also curiously flustered by Nomination’s admission. So she was coltish? That was new, something she hadn’t noticed about herself. The laughter somehow made everything better, as laughter was prone to do.
“Nomination,” Chartreuse began, still laughing. “You must come into the day, Nomination.”
“I don’t follow,” the colt replied as his ears fell into a curious pose of submission.
“Nomination, I have taken my first steps towards the night, and I must say, the night does not suit you. Come into the day, Nomination. You owe your mother the truth when she comes to visit. You must tell her of your pacifism, of how you like domineering and aggressive colts, and your feelings about not being suitable for the breeding program.” No laughter accompanied Chartreuse’s words now, only a stern hardness.
“But I can’t,” he replied in a panicked squeak that ended all of Chalcedony’s laughter. “All my mother’s hard work… laying my egg… having me… I can’t destroy that! I can’t! I feel so ashamed!”
“Come into the day.” Chartreuse’s voice was gentle, but also commanding. “You owe your mother the truth, Nomination. It doesn’t mean that she failed, it just means that she got unexpected results. Come into the day, Nomination. Be a chef… be the artist that you long to be. For you to be a cook, a chef, you must be around the ponies you wish to serve. This means a transition, and you know it. Grow a pair of balls, Nomination.”
Licking his lips, the colt looked down into his teacup, squirming, and his folded wings fluttered against his sides. Beside him, Chalcedony appeared confused, having gone from laughter to awkward silence. In silence, the blind filly chomped her brownie and the colt agonised over his inner-struggle.
With her mouth full of brownie, Chalcedony managed to say, “My friends got weird on me. At least I’m still the same. I hate when things get weird.”
When Nomination did not reply, Chartreuse turned the full power of her stare upon him for his own good, and his uncomfortable squirming intensified as he shrank way from her, stricken by her glower-power. In doing this, Chartreuse had a profound realisation that set her mind abuzz; she loved these ponies, both of them. It wasn’t a crush, or romantic love, but something else entirely, something deep and profound. Whatever it was, it was the sort of love that would survive a crush and would remain steadfast when her infatuation with Chalcedony passed.
“Tomorrow is the weekend and your mother will probably arrive in the morning” Chartreuse gave her tea an absent minded stir with her spoon and kept her stern gaze affixed upon her target. “I will have this house sorted out and ready for her arrival.”
“Chocolates and cheeses, Chartreuse, you slay a few demons and now you’re all ball-bustery,” Chalcedony said around a mouthful of gooey chocolate brownie. “I mean, I don’t think you’re wrong, but not all of us are as driven as you. We’re ponies, not problems just waiting to be sorted out by your fearsome sense of organisation—”
“No, Chalcedony, she’s right.” Reaching out, Nomination patted the blind filly beside him with his hoof. “I need to embrace the day if I want to be happy, whatever that means. Her words have a ring of truth to them. I can’t have the acceptance that I crave if I keep hiding. For my own sake, I must expose myself for what I am… and that means facing my mother.”
“So the night terror is going to become a day terror that isn’t very scary and… and… I don’t even know what Charty is becoming but she’s going into the night and now she’s got a weird glowy leg and… nothing makes sense right now. Am I the only normal pony here? I just want to fall in love and start a family. I’m surrounded by weirdos.”
Nomination, who was always cheerful, always upbeat, except for all those times he wasn’t, now seemed subdued. Still staring into his teacup, he used his wing and clawed thumb to break off a polite piece of brownie, which he then slipped into his mouth in dejected silence.
“Princess Luna gave me a pep talk—”
“Princess Luna?” Nomination lifted his head and his ears stood up with such force that the tufted ends quivered. “She was here? In our home? The Night Lady was here?”
Chalcedony swallowed her brownie, reached out for her friend, found him, and gave him a hard poke. “Nom, you better not start squealing!”
“She told me the truth I needed to hear.” Chartreuse paused, trying to remember everything that Princess Luna had to say, and recalled that the Princess of the Night had used coarse language. “I am pretty messed up from last night and I might just randomly burst into tears or something. The experience has left me emotional, but I took comfort in one thing, and that was the truth. I saw the truth and I will not run from it, but embrace it, and for the sake of my future, this is why I told the truth about my feelings to you, Chalcedony. I feel like there is so much more I want to say, but I don’t know the words.”
“And this is why Nom has to tell the truth? Because you did?” Chalcedony’s face now had an uncharacteristic sameness to it and her milky pinkish-white eyes had a strange appearance of wisdom to them. “You think because it helped you that it will help Nom?”
“Yes.” For lack of better words, this was all Chartreuse had to say.
“Then I have a confession too,” Chalcedony said to her companions, and she stared down at the table while looking very ashamed. “I’m not as comfortable with Nom being gay as I let on. Making love is for making foals… I feel bad about this, but this is how I am, and I guess it has to do with the times I come from… I dunno… I guess… I try not to think about it too much.”
She sighed, deflated, and continued, “I keep having these thoughts, I keep thinking that if somehow, if I could just get Nom into the right situation, I could straighten him out. I could make him have… uh… sex… for the… uh, right reasons and that he could be normal again. Whatever normal is, I don’t even know. But… uh… um… well, in those moments when I can get a little time to myself, I’ve rubbed one out thinking about it and it is a fantasy that always gets me heated. Hot to uh, trot. It gets me worked up like nothing else does.”
Nomination had gone very still, and did not move.
“I don’t wanna be a bigot,” Chalcedony whined and she turned her head away to sightlessly gaze in the direction of the stove. “So confusing. I’ve been hating myself for a while now and feeling ashamed. I feel guilty for rubbing one out and getting off on it. The wrongness of it is a turn on. This is all Charty’s fault because she wanted to play Truth or Dare. It’s a stupid game.”
“Is this… is this why you attacked Snow Dust?” Nomination asked while he reached out and touched Chalcedony upon her shoulder with his hoof.
“I dunno!” Chalcedony whined while she tried to twist away from her friend’s touch. “He did what he did and then I thought about what I’ve done, and then I got angry and yeah… maybe… maybe I did take it out on him, but he deserved it! I still ain’t sorry!”
So this was why the independent living program didn’t allow for coed cohabitation. It felt as though everything was unravelling and Chartreuse felt a vague sense of worry. Could friendship survive the truth? Chalcedony was sniffling now, almost crying, and her fight-battered face somehow looked all the worse for wear when she was on the verge of tears. Nomination too, suffered in much the same way, and his swollen shiner was more pronounced somehow. As for herself, Chartreuse couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad her battered, swollen, misshapen face might look at the moment—or to make things even worse, she couldn’t imagine what the Major might see upon her arrival.
Perhaps frustrated by Chalcedony shrugging away, Nomination became a bit more aggressive; after turning his body to the side, he reached out with both forelegs and his wings. Chalcedony squealed when she was seized, and even tried to get away, but Nomination would not be denied. Kicking and squeaking, the blind filly was pulled into a tight embrace and then was just held while she struggled.
After a time, the crystal filly went still, closed her eyes, and allowed her friend to hold her.
“Are we still friends?” Chartreuse asked, feeling very troubled and insecure.
“Of course,” Nomination replied without a single eyeblink’s worth of hesitation. “We took the pee pledge.”
“But that was for Chalcy.”
“I took it for all of us,” Nomination admitted.
“The Major is coming…” The way that the blind filly said this was as if she was announcing the second coming of Evil King Sombra. Reaching with her foreleg, she snaked it around Nomination’s, which held her tight. “We need to have a plan… we need to come together… we have to protect Nom’s right to choose. I asked all of you to take the pee pledge for me, and so I need to be a better friend. Nomination isn’t allowed to fight back, so maybe the Major isn’t either, and if she gets nasty maybe we can bite her ankles or something, I don’t know.”
“That’s not much of a plan, Chalcedony.”
“Well, Charty, I’ll have you know I’m not much of a planner. I’m the potato hauler, remember?”
“I don’t want to pick a fight with the Major… my mother, I mean. I can’t. Just the idea of fighting… of arguing… of any sort of conflict makes me feel sick. I don’t know how she’s going to react, but I can’t imagine it being good. She loves me, but impossible standards, you know?”
“Nom—”
“I am destroying my mother’s whole career. She stared down the Command for me… even though she didn’t agree with what I was doing, and said that maybe I could cook in the guard or something. She fought for ways to justify what I was doing. She fought for me. I leave home and start noticing other colts and even worse, the very idea of violence makes me sick to my stomach… my poor mother is going to have to deal with everypony whispering that her son is defective and the Command is going to come down hard on her. Maybe… just maybe we shouldn’t be thinking of how to fight her, but of how to comfort her. Everything she’s worked for ends with me. The sequence of numbers of successful, viable offspring ends with me.”
“Nomination—”
“The sequence ends with Eighty-eight, thirty-three, twenty-three, forty-four. Everything that was viable ended with Eighty-eight, thirty-three, twenty-three, forty-three. They put sequences that end on the Wall. It’s a big wall, I’ve seen it, and dead or dud sequences are put up on display. Some end in violence, and those are marked. Those are remembered as heroes. On the other side of the Wall though, those are duds. Psychopathic offspring, undesirable traits, unwanted traits… once those manifest, the sequence ends to remove the instability. You do not continue to breed instability into viable stock lines.”
Squirming, Chalcedony turned about to face the colt holding her and she gave him a reassuring friendly pat. “Just start over, Nomination, just start over. That’s what I’m doing. Parents? Maybe I’ve met them, maybe I haven’t. Everything is a mess. That’s why it is so important for me to start a family, Nom… everything got messed up and now there’s just me. I’ll be the first, and by golly, that’s important. Many years from now, my descendents will look back and see that it all started with me. You might be gay, but you can still do the same. All sequences have to begin somewhere, Nom. You get to be a first and that’s special.”
Ears sagging, the colt did not reply, but Chartreuse saw some truth in the blind filly’s words. It was a big complicated issue with no easy answers and Chartreuse could see the bigger picture; Nomination’s journey would be very much like her own, with tiny steps at first, followed by meaningful action. It started with his mother and trying to be good, inviting hosts while also protecting Nomination.
Tomorrow, if the Major did indeed arrive, would be a hard, hard day.
It comes to an end rather soon...
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I've been wondering: are the triangle glasses a reaction to having her previous glasses referred to as granny glasses?
8802783
They've been triangular from the very first story.
MINE EYES! AGAIN!
8802790
My mistake. They were referred to as "granny glasses", and I'm only familiar with that description being applied to round-lensed John-Lennon-type glasses.
8802871
Triangular shaped glasses were far more common back in the Victorian era. They were cheaper and used less material than round glasses.
THat pic is adorable!!
And dang what a family those 3 have found. Bonds forged from love often tie stronger than those of blood.
The addition of the dark outfit actually makes it possible to look at her.
Very handy if, like me, you've been staring at either Nexus mod Manager or Mod Organizer 2 for five hours because you decided it was a good idea to switch from one to the other.
Tea versus coffee, the eternal question.
Heh, Chartreuse made herbal brownies.
Shining Armor is the best.
It's a day for truth.
Dang, that was a lot of truth.
i don't get why everyone is saying she is to bright she really is not looking at her my eyes are completely fine than again im half blind and wear prescription glasses stronger than Irish whisky so
Now I’m sitti g here think about pros and cons of triangle glasses. Damnit
8804215
You can't find them now. Try looking.
8804222
tri-looking...
media.giphy.com/media/ha5EeXrfx3xxC/giphy.gif
Unless she does evil dances.
... Curses, I was sincerely hoping Chalcedony was bi. With how rare males are that'd seem to be the norm for females, but she IS from a thousand years past. There goes my ship sinking, not sure I can put my hopes on unreliable narrators and confused younglings who might change their opinions in the future in this case. My powerful shippin' heart weeps. Now Charty will be alone forever because she is so OBNOXIOUSLY COLORED and only a blind filly with magic eyes could have tolerated it. O fie.
I must admit that the Maid Outfit suits her rather well. It makes her garishly ugly coloring MUCH more bearable.
Secondly, the whole thing with Exorcist stuff DOES actually ring quite True to a certain degree. Even just the MENTION of such things, even low level stuff, can drive many people away. Personally though, I look forward to her stepping into the dark to deliver fierce and painful justice upon the evil denizens of the dark >=)
Last, but not least, these confessions are quite powerful. It is good to see Chalcy fight against her own inner bigotry and stuff, even if she does have that weird fetish involving poor Nomination. What I like is that while things will be uncomfortable to a certain degree, in the end their friendships have only been made stronger. Their friendship was tested and was found to be worthy and true.