Fairlight - Memories of a Perfect Sky

by Bluespectre

Chapter One - Memories of a perfect sky

FAIRLIGHT

CHAPTER ONE

Memories of a perfect sky

The sharp clatter of crockery mingled with the faint bubbling of saucepans on the stove. It was one of those simple, yet elegantly sublime moments which sang of home, good food, and a warm hearth. I inhaled deeply, allowing my senses to fully absorb the delicious aroma whilst attempting to discover exactly what it was we were having for dinner tonight. I caught a hint of… carrot? Yes, and turnip, perhaps a touch of basil, and something… something else I couldn’t quite put my hoof on. Celery? Goddess damn it, that had to be it. Blast it all, I couldn’t stand the bitter tasting stuff. Its stringy stems would always end up stuck between my teeth and have me picking at them all night unless I attacked them with a vigorous tooth brushing. The smell however, was simply delicious. Stretching out my forelegs, followed in turn by my whole body, I sank back into the large comfy settee with a contented groan. Compared to the rest of the rustic wooden furniture that lined our modest abode, it stuck out like a sore hoof for one very simple, yet important reason – it was actually comfortable. Letting myself enjoy that moment of perfect calm, I relaxed deeper into it, revelling in the warm flush of contentment that spread through me from muzzle to tail. I found myself smiling for the first time in what felt like months. Dear goddesses, it just didn’t get any better than this.

Unbidden, my ears twitched as they locked onto the song that accompanying the rattling of pans and other indeterminate kitchen items. It was a simple little ditty, and one I recognised almost immediately. She and I would often sit together and listen to our radio set on dark, cold evenings by the hearth. The song itself, if you could even call it that, was an advert for vegetable stock cubes of all things. Foolish I suppose, but it was usually that way wasn’t it? The small things in life that made it all seem worthwhile somehow. The long nights at work, the days away from home on a complex case. And yet she despite all that she would always be stood there at the door waiting for me with a smile and a kiss to welcome me home. I loved her. From the first moment I’d gazed into those big yellow eyes I’d fallen for… for… That was strange; for some reason I couldn’t quite seem to remember her name. That was ridiculous of course, I mean, she was my wife wasn’t she? For Celestia’s sake, she was only in the next room! I shook my head and grumbled to myself. Why did everything seem so… ‘distant’ tonight? It was almost as if I was detached from my surroundings, a veritable passenger in my own body, looking out at the world around me with no real control over what I was doing or what was happening. I’d certainly been working harder than usual recently, sure. Perhaps that was the reason. But whatever it was, I sure as hell wasn’t thinking straight, and a combination of the delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen, the wonderfully soft chair and my weariness, were all combining to lead me to an early bed. Rather than, Luna forbid, early senility. I chuckled to myself and let out a sigh as I gazed into the fire which snapped and crackled merrily in the hearth, sending its own enticing scent of wood smoke out into the small room.

The song emanating from the kitchen ended with a loud drum roll flourish on pan lids, followed by a peel of gentle feminine laughter. “Ready for bed already, love?” A grass green unicorn mare with the deepest yellow eyes poked her head around the door. Cocking her head to one side she fluttered her eyelids at me and laughed teasingly. There was a lilting, musical sound to her voice, and her smile only made her eyes sparkle all the more.

My heart soared and I stuck my tongue out playfully, “Not just yet…”. A sudden silence followed. What was her name again? “What’s on my favourite chef’s menu tonight?” I asked. “It smells amazing.”

“Oh, just a few things I found in the cupboard,” the mare replied cryptically.

Ah, yes, the usual answer to my equally usual question. I’m not sure why I bothered to ask really, but it had become such a regular fixture of mealtimes that not to perform this small ritual of sorts, had become almost unthinkable. I’d certainly be lost without her, that was for sure. Come to think of it, left to my own devices I’d probably end up starving to death or grow fat on a steady diet of convenience meals and takeaways. I never lost sight of how lucky I was to have met her. She was an incredibly talented mare and regularly spoiled me with her magical ability to create astounding flavour combinations from ingredients I would have had no idea what to do with. My own attempts at cooking were limited to an extravagant three or four dishes that were all variations of a theme of tomato. Thank the goddess she liked tomatoes or I’d be really sunk! Still, these culinary masterpieces of mine had been restricted to days when she wanted a break and, I suspected, was feeling sufficiently brave enough to face consuming one of my creations. Oh well, flavour never got in the way of enthusiasm, right? I can still remember how my mother would often tell me I could ‘manage to starve to death with a full larder’. What a cheery thought.

“Easy on the bran love, you know what happened last time!” I quipped.

The mare giggled and disappeared back into the kitchen, the song starting up again. “Full of goodness, full of flavour”. I closed my eyes and joined in, “bring the taste for you to savour.”

The ‘taste to savour’, eh? I chuckled to myself and settled back into the settee, letting the world gently slip away from me into a world of warmth and peace…

I hung there for a while, adrift in an expanse of nothingness, an absolute void completely devoid of light, touch, sound, or any sensation other than a lingering sense of… ‘being’. I existed in that place, at that very moment in time, and nothing more. My thoughts were hazy and I could feel my consciousness slipping away from me like wisps of smoke in a fresh morning breeze. I stretched out a foreleg and felt… nothing. There was no sense of direction, no up, no down, and yet deep inside my soul I felt as if I should have been in a state of abject terror. Yet despite this, for some reason I can’t describe I was completely calm. Physically I was in a state where I did not feel anything at all. I was neither cold nor warm, and despite that lingering feeling that I should be afraid, conversely I felt almost… content. Truthfully I could have stayed like this and floated in the emptiness forever. I had no concerns here, no fear, no anger, no happiness, no joy. No… No… What was her name again? Damn it all, why the hell couldn’t I remember?! In my mind’s eye, I could see her, smiling at me with those beautiful yellow eyes. They were yellow, weren’t they? Or was it just my imagination conjuring all of this up? I suppose it didn’t matter really anyway. Nothing mattered here, nothing at all. I could simply… go to sleep. Rest. Close my eyes and float silently away on the eternal sea of oblivion.

I don’t know how long I rested there in the darkness. Who knew? Who cared? Nothing mattered here; not time, not- Suddenly I winced as a vividly sharp pain flashed across my head making me open my eyes in alarm. And then, as fast as it had appeared, it was gone. I was still in the darkness of the void, still floating in the blackness, but for some reason this all seemed wrong. Very, very wrong. I shouldn’t be able to feel anything here and yet… I had, hadn’t I? No sooner had the thought crossed my mind than the wave of pain was back, swiftly intensifying to stomach churning levels. I gritted my teeth as the burning sensation dragged across my face like a branding iron. Desperately I tried to lift my hooves to my head to protect myself, to fend off whatever was causing this, but no matter how hard I tried I found myself completely unable to make them respond to my will. Something, whatever it was, was preventing me from moving so much as an inch. My heart thundering in my chest, struggling against invisible bonds, I began to feel a rising well of fear bubbling up from deep within me. I needed to move, I had to wake up, but I was trapped both in this black nothingness and, it seemed, inside my own self. Meanwhile the pain in my head intensified to a level I never believed could exist. Dear goddesses, there was no end to it! Every nerve within me felt as though it were burning with white hot brands. I tried to keep it in. Oh gods, how I tried! But it was no use. Tortured beyond endurance, caught in a maelstrom of agony... I screamed. I could feel my chest heaving, my lungs bursting, but not even the smallest mote of sound came forth. The utter wrongness of this assailed me and I could feel my grip on reason beginning to slip away as I heaved my body, fighting with all my might against the unseen shackles that held me in their vice like grip.

I poured every last ounce of remaining strength into my struggle to escape. But escape what? I couldn’t shout for help, I couldn’t even cry out in pain, and… Dear Celestia, it hurt. It hurt so much! What the hell was happening to me? I had to escape this, I had to get away. Finally, I took one last deep burning breath and gathered myself before pushing out with every last drop of strength I had left within me. At the back of my tortured mind a mantra I’d heard at the ‘temple of the two’ when I was a foal, flashed into my mind, ‘Luna, guide me, Luna protect me, your strength is our strength, your wisdom lights the way’. Luna was the princess of the night, the moonlight in the darkness to show the weary traveller the way home. Dear gods, If ever I needed her divine guiding light it was now.

I chanted the words in my mind, silently mouthing them. Despite my desperate struggles I became dimly aware of a strange sensation of pressure on my back, giving me a sudden, and welcome, extra drive to push forward. The feeling intensified but there was no pain or discomfort. Instead it was almost as if somepony were behind me, helping to push my body forward, up and out of the void. The more curious part of me wanted to look round and see what the source of the pressure was, but the driving need right then was to move forward. I had to push ahead, to push forward. I had do this, I had to! And then, just as my strength began to die away, I felt rather than saw the blackness... move. It pressed in on me, threatening to suffocate me, trying trap me, and I silently cried out in panic and anger as I lowered my head and mentally charged right at it. Oblivious to my urging, my legs steadfastly refused to respond, yet despite this I still had the faintest sensation of movement. It wasn’t much, but it was there, that indefinable external force urging me onward. And there, ahead of me, lay a faint hint of pale grey light. It wasn’t far now. It was so close I could almost reach out and touch it, but I had to keep trying. Damn it all, I couldn’t give up now! I dug my hooves in and pressed on, feeling myself closing the distance yet still with the otherworldly feeling of standing still. With so little to focus on around me I kept up the chant of the mantra, desperate to try and keep some level of focus and stop my mind from drowning in the abject terror of the horrible situation I was in. With every push, every surge, I struggled closer to my goal. I was so close now. One last effort was all I needed. Somehow I knew this was my last chance to save myself, to save my beloved wife. All other thoughts were meaningless to that focus. I gave one final great effort and the world upended, plunging me muzzle first into the grey light.

Behind me I could hear a faint voice, swiftly fading away as the storm of sound swallowed me. “Be strong, brave one. Be strong for them.”

There was a blinding white flash of light, a sense of falling, and the sound of a foal’s laughter….

My eyes opened to a day so beautiful it could have made even the darkest of hearts sing with the sheer joy of life, while high above me the bright light of the morning sun hung in a sky of perfect azure blue, warming my coat with its radiance. The pegasi had cleared all the clouds for miles around, gifting the land with a clear view of Celestia’s blessing to the world. I relished in it all, rolling in the grass and breathing in the refreshing, clean air. I thrashed and huffed as I ground my back into that wonderfully cooling grass, covering myself liberally before finally leaping to my hooves. One good hard shake later, I took off at a full gallop, charging straight into a nearby copse of trees with their inviting shade. The sunlight broke through the canopy and I jumped between the beams of light, laughing with the sheer exuberance of youthful life. And then, unexpectedly, a deep orange butterfly appeared, lazily circling my head before landing on the tip of my nose. It tickled. Laughing, I stood on my hind legs with my forelegs held out to either side, imitating the acrobats I had seen the last time the circus had been to our town. One step, two steps, three steps... It wasn’t easy for a four legged creature to balance on two, and gravity, along with my own imbalance, started inexorably to topple me over. Inevitably I began to stagger, trying to catch my balance, focussing on the butterfly right up until the point my hooves landed on… nothing. I fell. Oh, how I wished I had wings right now! But wishes weren’t going to arrest my plummet into... Celestia knew what. The world around me transitioned from being a joyful and carefree land of sunshine to a sudden and unexpectedly heart jarring terror of helplessness and fear. I plunged downward through a seemingly endless abyss of branches, bushes and tree limbs. The shattering foliage did little to slow my descent and I cried out as thorns and bark tore at my hide. Everything was a blur and, in all reality, probably had not lasted more than a few seconds, but to my foals mind it seemed to take forever to come to a final, jarring halt. And halt I did, but not in the way I had thought I would.

I hit the water with a deafening splash and my vision became a watery world of shadows, distant shapes and strange noises. I couldn’t breath! Despite my pain and fright, I clamped my mouth shut against the water, but no matter how much I thrashed around, the dark world of shadows and death pressed in on me relentlessly. Panic gripped me, sending my heart racing in my chest. Horribly I found the reason I couldn’t move was that my hind legs were caught in something unseen and I realised with sudden clarity that I was trapped. I was going to drown, and no pony, not even my parents, knew where I was. In my foolishness I had become lost amongst the trees and I simply hadn’t cared. My parents had been nearby finishing off the last of the picnic and told me not to wander too far, but as always I hadn’t listened, had I? What a fool I was! And now this was where it would all end; the all too short and pointless life of a foal who hadn’t even managed to live long enough to get his cutie mark. Desperate for air my body reacted on impulse, gulping down not the life giving breath of the world, but the cold, bitter wash of the water. In my fog of terror I could feel my lungs filling with water as the essence of life within me began to slip away, along with my ever weakening struggle to survive. Fear soon turned to acceptance. Luna and Celestia would take my soul to the next world, and it would all be over. In a few moments it would be time for me to sleep. Time to… Father? Father is that...? Yes! Yes, it was! He was looking at me through the surface of the water, a frightened but resolute look on his face as his forehooves grabbed me and pulled me up, up towards the sweet, sweet air, the sky and the earth. Oh thank the goddesses, I was going to live!

In a coughing, sputtering and retching mess, I broached the surface. I gasped for air despite the pain knifing through my lungs, but something, something wasn’t right here. The light had gone. It was dark now, but I was aware of being... inside? “Father? Mother?” No answer. I was in a room, badly lit from a couple of flickering storm lanterns that hung from hooks in the wooden beamed ceiling. It seemed familiar to me but was oddly hard to make out much in the way of details. No matter how hard I tried, my eyes simply refused to focus properly. Actually, make that ‘eye’, singular. My right one didn’t seem to be working at all. I tried to take a deep breath and clear my head, but a wave of gut wrenching pain and nausea filled me and my lungs felt like they were full of fluid once more. I coughed weakly, straining to fill them with life giving air. Somehow I managed to take at least some pitifully shallow and rapid breaths, but my brief sense of accomplishment was quickly crushed by another torrent of hot agony that made me vomit across the floor where I lay unmoving. Sounds assailed me from… somewhere, although in my current muggy and disoriented state, I couldn’t say for certain what it was nor where it was coming from. Despite my confusion I tried to take stock of my surroundings; I had to remain calm and stay alive. I was of no use to any pony, let alone myself, if I panicked blindly.

Gradually small parts of my brain began to reluctantly grind back into action - for what it was worth. At least I could tell that I was in a room lying on a wooden floor. I was also soaking wet; saturated in fact. Well, that was to be expected if I’d just been pulled out of a river I suppose, right? Ah, wait. I wasn’t a foal any more, and what was drenching my fur wasn’t water was it. That was… Damn. It was blood. My blood to be precise. I still couldn’t see well nor move my head, so I decided that the only thing I could do for now was make a mental check of the rest of my body. Unfortunately it became quickly apparent that this, whatever ‘this’ was, wasn’t going to end well for me at all. My forelegs seemed to working alright, but my hind legs, my hind legs were... Oh gods, I was going to be sick. My heart rate soared as I managed to look back at them and take stock of the ravaged devastation that had once passed for a fairly serviceable part of my body. The last time I had seen them they sure as hell hadn’t been bent that way. What the hell was going on here? What in Equestria had happened to me, and why was my mind bouncing around like a blasted rubber ball? Damn it all, there no time for this now. Something was going on around me, and I had to do something, I had to… to stop them. But do what? I asked myself in a frantic voice, stop who? My tortured consciousness was a disaster of wavering images, distorted sounds, fear and pain. I couldn’t move, I certainly couldn’t stand, but by Luna I was going to try. I had to try. I gritted my teeth and huffed out a fine spray of blood.

“Hey Gates, our buddy’s waking up over here.”

I looked up. No easy feat with my good eye near the floor.

“Not ready to die yet then eh, big guy?” a sneering voice said as a large red stallion glowered down at me.

“I think he will be when he sees what I’ve got in store for our little pet here.” It was another male, his words dripping with malice as he called from the next room.

“Oh, you’re going to love this one, big guy,” the red stallion leered. “You’ll never forget this. Never….”

As he hissed out the last word a hoof slammed brutally into my neck and the red stallion laughed, shrieking with borderline hysteria. He caught himself quickly, took a deep breath and looked me in the eye once more. His crimson eyes staring searchingly into mine he grabbed my head between his forehooves, pulling me closer; so close I was breathing in his fetid breath. I glared at back at him, desperately trying to remember as much detail about this vile animal as I could. He was a big bastard alright, heavy set and sporting a short green mane matted with grease. He had cracked black hooves that were spattered with what I guessed was probably my blood. I couldn’t see his cutie mark from where I lay, however there was one feature of his I would never be able to forget, and that was his eye-watering stench. The reek of unwashed equine hung around him in a thick miasma and I wouldn’t have been surprised to see flies buzzing about the stinking creature. His hot fetid breath from what were doubtless rotting teeth, rolled over me and I tried, fruitlessly, not to inhale his foulness into my body any more than I had to. He had a strange accent too. It certainly wasn’t local, and had an unusually feminine quality that was at odds with his heavy set form. I didn’t know much about him, but one thing I did know was that I hated this foul creature. I hated him with a vengeance that, as strange as it may sound, surprised me. I didn’t know what I had done to this sick swine, but whatever it was it must have been bad, really bad, to warrant this sort of attack. What I didn’t know though, was that what had happened to me was as nothing compared to what was to happen next. No comparison at all.

Angry shouting and the unmistakable sound of breaking glass could be heard coming from the next room, but it was the suddenly scream of fear and pain that riveted my attention firmly to the doorway. As if on cue a filth smeared yellow stallion appeared, dragging another pony into the room behind him like a rag doll. By the pitiful cries it was a mare, though from my position I couldn’t make out who it was. The paraffin lights offered little to illuminate the room, and the blood still stinging my remaining good eye only compounded the problem. Had it always this dark in here? My mind was such a mess of disjointed thought I couldn’t keep focussed on much beyond what was happening right in front of me. And right now, I wished to the gods I couldn’t. The mare lay a few feet away from me and screamed in fury at her yellow coated captor. Despite her fear and pain she kicked out at him, narrowly missing what would have been a good shot to his fetlock. The mare was clearly weakened, her face bloodied and beaten. Even from here I could see she was nearing the end of her endurance. Above her the foul beast laughed as he violently smacked her across the face, a spray of crimson flying from her muzzle and landing on my mouth. The iron tang of blood not my own trickled down lips and oozed onto my dry tongue. The mare looked across at me, the large yellow eyes reflected in the lamp light going wide in shock.

“NO! Oh goddesses, no! What have you animals done to him,” she cried. “Oh Celestia no, no, NO!”

The mare tried to struggle towards me but was slammed to the ground by the bigger male, driving the breath from her lungs. Both the stallions laughed cruelly, clearly enjoying the absolute control they held over us. “We’ve got a little show planned for you, little piggy,” the yellow one called across to me as he pushed his forelegs into the green mare’s chest. He started to push down harder, increasing his force inch by merciless inch, all the while grinning at me with his bared teeth. The green mare coughed, flailing her legs, trying to free herself, struggling for breath as his pressure compressed her lungs. “Sorry darling,” the foul creature sneered, “I don’t think I quite heard you. Could you try saying that again?”

The green mare squeezed her eyes shut, fighting for every breath. “You…” she coughed. “No, I-”

Suddenly the stallion released his pressure on his captive, the mare beneath him gasping and coughing as she tried to free herself. The brief respite, that tiniest glimmer of hope, didn’t last any more than a single beat of the heart. With a huff of effort the yellow male took a single, loud deep breath, leaned his head back and then lunged forward. The resultant crack resounded across the room and a warped look of ecstasy crossed his triumphant face. Her eyes wide in shock, the mare cried out in agony trying to stifle a scream, but it was no use. Horribly she belched out streamers of crimson blood, her struggles visibly slowing all the more as the agonising seconds dragged by inexorably one after another. All the while that sickening look of ecstasy spread across her attackers face burned itself into my memory. My anger flared white hot and I silently prayed to Luna that I could return the suffering this animal had inflicted on the mare and return it ten fold. I gritted my teeth and gave him a look I hoped he would remember. One day, Luna willing, I would look down into his eyes and smile with that same rictus grin as I slowly extinguished his existence from the world. But thoughts of retribution were far from the reality of this horror. I barely noticed the red pony moving behind me. Roughly lifting my head in his hooves, he locked my head and neck so I could see only the mare.

“Look well piggy,” he whispered, “look well. You’re gonna enjoy this. At least, he is

anyways!” He shrieked out another of his maniacal laughs as he shoved my useless body with his, probably trying to make himself more comfortable.

My mind raged in impotent fury. I knew this mare! But... I just couldn’t place her. Why? Damn it, why were my thoughts such a mess? Who were these bastards and why couldn’t I fight back?! I wanted to fight, to pull myself up and get away from the grip of the stallion with the vice like hold on my head. But most of all, as I looked across at the green mare, I wanted to save her.

“Do what you want…” the mare coughed. “I’ll do… I’ll...” She coughed more blood as she struggled for air, her face a torment of emotion, “Do what you want but please, let him go. Please...”

She pleaded with the two ponies, hoping against hope that they might listen to her, that somewhere inside their testosterone fuelled brains that there was a kernel of decency that she could appeal to. But I knew it was hopeless. She knew it was too. It was the last grasp for a straw in the unyielding floodwater of cruelty. And yet she still tried. In answer to her hope for mercy the yellow buck smacked her across the face once more. The mare flinched but kept trying to speak, and again the stallion struck. Blows rained down like a thunderstorm until the crack of bone and wet gurgling sound of the final impact made my stomach heave as it tried to empty itself. Beneath me the floor vibrated with each strike, causing me to flinch with her. Selfishly I wished I could block it all out, to pretend this nightmare wasn’t happening. I prayed that this was all just some horrific dream and I would wake up panting in my bed at any moment, relieved it could all be washed away with the usual morning shower. But there was no god or goddess to help us here. No miraculous answer to my desperate prayer. All I could do now was fall back on my training and try to remember every single detail, no matter how small, of what I was seeing. Whatever else happened, I would remember. I would absorb every detail, record every moment, every facet of this event. Even if this was the end I would take the memory of this to Hades and hunt these two down until the end of time. I had to remember the green mare with the yellow eyes.

She coughed again, blood trickling down her muzzle whilst the red stallion giggled behind me.

“Go easy Gates,” the stallion smirked, “I don’t want her going cold on me”. I could feel him shaking with excitement while he squeezed my head in his vice like grip. Part of me wanted nothing more than to close my eyes, to shut it all out, but for the mare’s sake I wouldn’t. She was watching me now with an expression of complete resignation, and… something else. There was a kindness there, a tender gentleness and… love? I… I wasn’t sure, but those eyes, the way those deep yellow orbs pulled at my heart so earnestly that I felt like howling. I knew her, and yet I couldn’t remember her name! The green mare gazed lovingly into my eyes while the yellow stallion dragged himself atop her and with a wild, animal like whoop… violated her.

She never flinched nor cried out, but I wanted so badly to cry out for her. Her strength showed in those eyes and she shared it with me. I wanted to scream, fight, to do something, anything to stop these… these things, from doing what they were doing to her. I struggled as hard as I could, my forelegs scrabbling for purchase. I couldn’t just lie back and let this happen! “Luna,” I gurgled past the bubbles of blood in my mouth, “please... give me strength.”

The red stallion made a tutting sound. “Luna?” he scoffed, “What the bucks she going to do for you eh?, fly in and rescue you like some bloody fairy tale?” He nearly choked laughing on the last words, banging my head off the floor for emphasis.

I gritted my teeth, trying to keep my wits about me despite the stars of light bursting in my vision. “You... sick vermin,” I gasped, “I’ll find you, and I’ll... kill… kill you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will big guy,” he laughed. “You first though.”

“After we’ve enjoyed the party first, Mel,” the other pony called over his shoulder. He gave one final grunt and shuddered, pulling himself off the mare.

My captor snorted loudly, “My turn at last! By the bitches tits, you take your bucking time.” The one who I now knew as ‘Mel’, slammed my head to the floor, stepping on my face as he walked across the room to the mare. “Whoops!” he said as he glanced behind him, “Looks like I stepped in something”. He laughed at his own joke, wiping his hoof with exaggerated movement on the rug. “Ah, look at the friggin’ mess. You could’ve tidied up after yourself buddy.” The two of them laughed as the red pony grasped the mare’s hind legs, turning her violently to one side. “I’m going to enjoy this bitch,” he sneered into her ear. He turned to look at me and smiled; a sickening smile which emphasised his utter contempt for the mare, for me, and graphically displayed his knowledge that he had complete and total control over us. He had won, and he knew it.

The mare continued to look into my eyes searchingly, trying to lose herself in me. I could feel tears streaming down my face, but there was nothing I could do. The wash of utter despair threatened to engulf me. Nothing I could do nothing… nothing but wait. Hopelessness grabbed at my heart and pulled hard, but… What was that? I felt something cold beneath me - something metallic, long, hard and cold. It must have been there all along but I had been beaten so senseless that I hadn’t been able to pick it out from all the other sensations my body was trying to take stock of. I noticed the yellow pony standing to one side, brushing his black sweat soaked mane back from his face, urging on his fellow as he watched him brutalising the helpless mare. While they were both distracted I moved my agonised body to try and free whatever it was beneath me. If I could move even only a few inches then with a just a fraction more effort, it would be loose. I could feel it more now. I scrabbled with my hooves as quietly as I could until my teeth managed to snag a purchase on whatever the item was. Right then I didn’t care, any thought of what this thing was disappeared in a red haze of pain, hatred, and loathing for these vile animals.

I pulled as hard as I could. What I had taken for a metal rod of some kind, slid out from beneath me and I grabbed it with my forehooves. In those few moments it felt like time was almost standing still around me. I could see the yellow stallion starting to turn towards me. I saw the red one’s head turning. Colour faded out as I swung the metal rod with the final energy reserves I had managed to gather. But it wasn’t enough. The metal rod struck the yellow stallion in the head, a hook like protrusion stabbing into his face. He screamed, rearing, and pulled violently at the rod with his hooves. In spray of crimson, the rod clattered to the ground with a metallic clang and I looked up at torn and ruined face glaring down at me.

“Bastard, bastard, BASTARD!” Gates yelled whilst holding the flap of skin tight against his face and pacing round the room.

“Huh, should have kept your eye on him, eh?” Mel shouted back at Gates. He paused, looking down at the mare as disappointment flashed over his brutish features. “Ah, bollocks. Looks like this one couldn’t handle a real stallion. Could have waited till I’d bucking well finished shagging her”.

“Never mind the green bitch, look what this turd did to my face!” Gates yelled back at him, blood dripping past his hoof onto the floor.

“Nah, a few stitches will patch that up ya big girls blouse.” Mel shoved the broken mare dismissively to one side and pushed Gates with his hoof. “You’ll look well hard with a scar, mate. The girls love a tough looking guy. Guess you’ll have to do though, eh?” He gave another of his manic laughs and walked over to the corner of the room, picked up a large metal container, and trotted off to the other room.

Meanwhile the yellow pony walked over to me, his amber eyes full of hatred and murder. I hated him, and he knew it, yet all I could do was stare back at him as defiantly as I could manage. They may have won, but at least I’d managed to give that bastard something to remember me by. With any luck, Luna would let me haunt his dreams. Suddenly a strong chemical smell hit my nostrils and I could see the red one, Mel, walking around the room pouring liquid from a metal can around the floor and walls. Eventually he threw the empty can into the corner and took out a cigarette lighter as Gates grabbed my head and looked me in the eye. I had never seen such utter hatred before. I had never imagined any pony could harbour such utter loathing towards another.

“You’re going to burn now, copper,” he sneered. The effect was somewhat ruined by his torn mouth, but the evil intent in his words carried all the menace he needed. “You’re going to have your very own private cremation. Free of charge.”

“Who… are you?” I gasped weakly. “Why are you... doing this?” He stopped for a moment and looked, I was surprised to see, genuinely amazed I had asked this.

“You bucking with me?” he asked incredulously. “You don’t… Ah!” He leaned forward and tapped my horn. A white hot shot of pain lanced down though my skull making me cry out. “Hurts don’t it?” he smirked. “Bucks with your memory when this thing cops it.” He coughed, choked, then laughed aloud at some joke I couldn’t understand. Tears streamed down my face as I lay there helpless. What the hell had they done to me?

“Come on for bucks sake, this place is ready to go up,” Mel shouted to Gates as he trotted to another door. “Leave him will you, he’s already dead.”

The yellow pony picked up the metal rod and looked at it closely. He stared at me, lost in thought whilst slowly licking the pointed end which was still slick with his blood. The wickedly curved barb was hung with pieces of flesh from his ruined face. “Seems appropriate,” he said as he sidled towards me, “A fire poker should be used to… stoke a fire”. The smell of burning wood and fabric hit my nostrils and I could see the flicker of flames from the back room. Yellow firelight wreathed Gates as he reared up on his hind legs, the metal of the poker reflecting the coldness of his eyes. “It’s nothing personal, piggy,” he hissed. “I just wanted to see you squeal.”

The yellow pony lunged, the poker driving down towards my chest. With my ruined eye I couldn’t see what happened next and was glad of it, although the sensation of my skin giving way as the poker was thrust into my already battered body was beyond anything I could ever have imagined. Choking and writhing in a white hot rush of pain, I lashed out at something, anything I could catch hold of to get away from this situation. My frantic flailing only made the yellow one laugh all the louder whilst my fountaining gore dripped from his hooves.

“Gates, move your arse will you!” Mel hissed from the doorway as the other pony took his weight off the makeshift spear.

“Yeah.” Gates’ voice was heavy with effort, the earlier triumphant tone marred by the pain of his injury. “Time to get the herd out of Dodge,” he muttered.

The front door slammed shut behind them.

********************

Consciousness is definitely overrated as far I’m concerned. I drifted in and out of it like a foals yo-yo, with about as much control as a leaf on a river. A mind reeling sensation of falling into emptiness engulfed me, followed by a hideously gut wrenching lurch back to an all too terrifyingly real present. The sad broken doll that had once been a precious life lay motionless several feet across the floor from me. Her once vibrant yellow eyes that had seen sights no pony should ever have had to witness, were now closed. Almost mercifully, wisps of pale green mane covered most of her innocent face from the cold world’s stare. She had known me. Of that there was no doubt. The look in her eyes when she’d gazed at me and her reaction to what those monsters had done was all the proof anypony needed to show that there had been something special between us. My mind screamed at me that I should remember her, but try as I might my memories were simply… gone. Gone? Dear goddesses, my magic! I could sense that something was missing and now the reality of it hit me; the bastards had done something to block my magic! In shock, I started to panic, the sudden adrenalin fuelling my struggles and I felt the metal poker shift, tilting with my body as I dug my hooves into the floor. Free of its wooden sheath, the poker’s tip dragged against the floorboards, the vibration adding to the symphony of agonies railing throughout my body. All other thoughts dismissed, the horrors temporarily forgotten, I was overwhelmingly possessed by a need, an all encompassing drive, to reach the cracked mirror lying forlorn on the floor just of reach. I had to see what those animals had done to my horn. I hadn’t realised it yet, but my mind, my sanity, was slowly but surely beginning to slip away from me. Maybe it was just as well. My panting grew as I spat foaming bloodied gobbets from the corner of my mouth, my focus now locked fully on my intended target. It was so close, not much farther now, a little more effort, one last pull and… I looked down.

What looked back at me was not the unicorn from my dream memory. It was a… a ‘thing’, a ravaged image of a creature that was barely recognisable as a pony, cruelly reflecting back at me with its lone remaining eye. The other was a mangled mess of scarlet and black slurry, dripping its warm life essence onto the remains of that damnable mirror. I let out a pining wail. My horn! Oh, Luna, why? This was everything to a unicorn, it was what defined us as who and what we are. How could they do this to me? The broken stump sat there lifeless; a useless nub of splintered… me. I was a unicorn with no magic, and unicorn without magic was like a Pegasus without wings. I was useless, lost and alone, with no memories and no purpose. I was… nothing. They had taken everything I was and destroyed it utterly. By the gods, I couldn’t even feel anything towards the green mare, but my horn! I cursed the bastards who had done this: I cursed Equestria, the world, every pony and every damned thing that walked beneath its skies. Tears ran down my face and I cried out my pain to the empty room.

I barely noticed the hoof touching mine.

The slight pressure brought me back from the brink of complete despair and my self obsession, to focus upon the object of the feeling on my hoof. Looking down I followed the slender green leg up to a baleful yellow gaze.

“Fair… Fa… Don’t cry love.” The green mare’s voice was little more than a whisper, nearly lost in the hiss and pop of the encroaching fire. “Oh… goddess. What have they done to you? My handsome Fa… My...” The mare was racked with coughing, blood spraying from her muzzle and spattering the broken mirror. I looked into her eyes, trying desperately to remember. Damn my self centered soul to Hades, my cursed horn didn’t matter. Not now. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eye shut. How could I have been so-

“Love? I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” Her voice carried a soft musical note that echoed within me, her plaintive words calling out as if to my very soul.

I returned her touch, gently stroking her hoof. “No. What happened here, it wasn’t your fault,” I said softly. “Don’t say you’re sorry, please. I… I should have protected you. I failed. I should have been more than I have become. I should have pushed myself and now... I’m so sorry.” I hung my head. I couldn’t imagine how I looked to her right now, how I had failed her when she needed me. She was… she was... she……

A barrage of memories flooded into my mind: mixing, churning, image upon image, colours both vibrant and grey with sound, music, voices, shouting and laughter. All at once I was deluged by the orchestral tidal wave of imagery crashing into me. Disjointed and fractured, whole and complete, they all swirled, threatening to drown me in both the past and present. Above it however, a single face hovered. A beautiful green mare with lantern yellow eyes, a pale green mane and a cutie mark of the sun rising over a grassy… “MEADOW!” I cried out, all thoughts of myself cast aside. “Meadow! Luna forgive me… Meadow.” I shook as emotion overtook me. My wife, my dear, dear wife, lay broken and fading away before me.

“Love...” She hacked a wracking cough, wincing in pain as it gradually subsided. Slowly, she drew a laboured breath and I could tell she was trying all she could to stay conscious. “Don’t blame yourself. You were always… always the strong one. So brave…” She reached up to touch my muzzle with her hoof before weakness overtook her and I caught her with my own, gently lifting it to my face and nuzzling it. I breathed in her scent; it was like flowers in the rain on a warm day. She was a breath of life, of colour and joy in a world that had brought her only cruelty and horror. I felt her brush away a tear from my cheek. “I… love you, Fair… I...” She shuddered and breathed in rapidly. “Oh! I’m so… so cold, I…” Her eyes widened suddenly and her head lifted to look straight into mine with a look which I will never forget, “I can’t die! I can’t! Oh my love, I’m so scared, please ! I…” And then as quickly as she had rallied, her strength drained from her body and she slumped down across my outstretched foreleg, her head leaning against mine.

“Shhh, it’s alright love,” I whispered into her ear, “It’s alright.” Carefully, slowly, I rocked her head in my forelegs and sang a lullaby my mother had sung to me when I was a foal, “Hush now, quiet now, it’s time to lay your sleepy head…”

I felt the quickly fading warmth of her muzzle against my ear as she breathed out with one long final breath, “Forever and always, my brave Fairlight. Remember me… please?”

I felt the life leave her body. The earthly vessel in this world that had once been a green mare called Meadow, now no more than a broken and empty shell, lay motionless beside me. Who she was, and everything that had made her that shining light in the darkness of my world, was no more. She was gone. Just like that. It was so simple to say. So simple that it didn’t seem real at all, like a bad dream or a terrible play you would forget come the light of the morning. But this... this was real. All too, too real. The world would carry on without her, foals would still go to school each day, they would fall in love, have foals of their own and, eventually, pass into the next world. The cycle would continue. But Meadow… Meadow should have lived to have had a chance to grow old, surrounded by her own children and grandfoals. I’d always imagined her knitting by the log fire listening to the radio as our foals played in the garden on a bright summers day. It was an idealistic world to be sure, but a world filled to the brim with laughter, love and caring. The world of sunshine and rainbows which I had hoped to have given her some day. The world I should have given her. But I had failed her, and now, now it was all gone. Bathed in a sea of the deepest red, framed by the fire of our home, our dreams had been consumed by evils of violence and hatred. As I held her, even in my grief I became aware of a faint, oddly warm glow emanating from her body. A golden glow which, ever so slowly, rose upwards from her broken body, hovering over it as if in silent contemplation of the scene below. I blinked in astonishment, and in that instant it disappeared, no more than a trick of the light. I shivered, a rolling feeling of icy cold passing through me. An odd thought suddenly entered my mind; I’d never got round to buying carpets, and this floor was freezing cold. In fact it was so bitterly cold I could see my breath regardless of the flames now entering the room. It was so insane I almost laughed. Almost.

The crackling of burning wood and a crash of glass made be look round towards the flames racing up the doorway as they marched hungrily on. Wooden buildings were a banquet for any blaze. The fire brigade would be here soon I imagined, but it would be too late for us. My breath caught and I coughed again and again, catching the blood on my foreleg. I didn’t want any making a mess on Meadow’s fur. She was so beautiful. I had always loved her soft green coat and mane. I closed my eye and sighed. Oddly I found the pain had subsided somewhat, replaced by a chilling cold. Of course – blood loss. I remembered it now from basic training. Not a good sign, and there was probably the issue of shock too. Not good at all. Still, it wasn’t so bad really. I glanced down at the spreading dark pool of blood and silently thanked Luna that I would be gone before the flames reached me. I could just make out the flickering of fire light reflected in its surface; it was strangely… calming. I yawned, feeling a wave of weariness drawing at me. Breathing in her scent, I kissed Meadow tenderly on the cheek and snuggled into her, placing a foreleg protectively across her chest. I could not defend her in life but at least I could be with her at the end. She had given me so much. She had given me back my name, given me back who I was. “Fairlight,” I murmured to myself, and smiled. Darkness was pressing inexorably in on me now. The dancing light of the fire beginning to dim ever more rapidly and I could sense my life’s flame guttering like a spent candle. At least I would die knowing myself, and knowing the name of my dear, beloved mare. Meadow. I couldn’t ask for more.

“Wait for me,” I whispered to her, brushing an errant wisp of hair from her eye. “I’ll be with you soon.” As carefully as if I were holding a snowflake I closed her eyes with my hoof and leaned my head across hers, closed my eyes and sighed out my final breath into the soft mane of the one I loved.

********************

An odd feeling of comfortable familiarity was the first thing I noticed upon opening my eyes. Indeed, the fact that I felt absolutely fine considering the hell I’d just experienced, simply didn’t register; much in the same way that waking up on any other day wouldn’t. It all felt so normal, that it gave me goosebumps.Had it all been a dream after all? I’d prayed it had been, but it had all seemed so real! I patted myself gingerly, half closing my eyes as I felt around the area where the fire poker had been thrust through my body. But no, no hole. There was no sign of any blood either for that matter and, most blessedly, no pain. I started in surprise when I suddenly realised that both of my eyes were working and, it had to said, amazing well at that. I was normally a touch short sighted in my right eye and had taken to wearing spectacles for distance vision. But not any more. My eyesight was… absolutely perfect. Better than it ever had been in fact. Ah, right, of course… I was dead wasn’t I? I’d heard that when you passed over everything went back to the way it was when you were in your prime. Could be worse I suppose. Hmm… damned dark though. Where were all the singing ponies, sunshine and rainbows then? Guess I’d just have to hang about and wait until somepony turned up then! I looked down at my legs and hooves. They all seemed remarkable clean, neat, and a damned sight better than they had been even after a good hours grooming. My dark grey coat along with my nondescript black and white striped mane and tail had never been particularly popular with the ladies, but I liked them. My black hooves were kept well polished and my coat groomed properly. I was particularly proud of my large dark brown eyes which Meadow had fallen in love with. Well, I had to have at least one redeeming feature didn’t I? Still, considering I was dead though, I couldn’t help but feel a touch surprised that I was… well, still me I suppose.

Throughout my life I had been told that when we passed over to ‘the other side’ - a subject rarely if ever mentioned in polite conversation - we would be reunited with our ancestors in the Eternal Herd. There was no debating it, nor was it ever questioned. It was simply accepted as a cold hard fact. I wasn’t aware of anypony coming back and saying it was all a load of fairytale bollocks, so I believed in it just the same as everypony else. To a degree. The way I looked at it, you were going to find out sooner or later anyway, so did it really matter what you believed? Religion had always been a strange topic in Equestria. My folks had never been particularly religious, despite our periodic trips to the ‘temple of the two sisters’. We weren’t unusual in that either; not many ponies were exactly what you might call ‘religious’ at all, save for the priesthood whose job it was to attend to the spiritual needs of the populace. Generally that would be weddings, funerals, festivals and that sort of thing. The rest of the year the temple was simply a nice place to visit, with pleasant gardens, cooling fountains, and quiet prayers for one thing or another. It wasn’t really that surprising when you had considered we had two very real and very visible goddesses living in our homeland. Oh, sorry, I should have said ‘Princesses’ shouldn’t I? We weren’t supposed to refer to them in that manner as it was considered to be most impolite. Goddesses know why, I don’t!

A maverick thought struck me - where were these ‘all powerful’ alicorns when we needed them anyway? A small flame of anger flared and was just as quickly expunged as I shook my head in exasperation at my own foolish, and decidedly selfish thought. Of course I realised that as much as Luna and Celestia were tremendously gifted and powerful mares, they were still flesh and blood like myself. They had their limitations like any pony and I couldn’t expect them to be everywhere and know everything, right? I sighed and looked about for Meadow. She should be here somewhere surely. But as I stared out at the great expanse of emptiness, of the grass green mare with the yellow eyes there was no sign. Instead of the land of sunshine, rainbows, and hot and cold running joy I’d expected, there was a vast barren landscape of coal black sand, what looked like dark hills in the indeterminate distance, and an equally dark slate grey sky; the whole stretching out around me in all directions as far as the eye could see. Beneath my hooves the featureless ground had a uniform smoothness which gave a little as I shifted my weight. There was no sign of any hoof prints around me other than my own. In fact there was no sign of anything at all for that matter. I was completely and utterly alone. Very quickly I began to feel incredibly small and isolated, not to mention vulnerable. There I was in what looked like a vast black desert, the residual smell of burning wood still in my nostrils and with no idea where I was. I fought down the rising tide of fear and panic that was already snaking its way into my heart. Falling back on my training I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to take stock of my situation. I was dead, that at least I was certain of. If nothing else it was one fact I could tick off the mental check list, but what in the name of the goddess was I supposed to do with that information? I mean, what did I know about pony heaven and hell? Not bloody much! Damn it all, I wished I’d paid more attention in class when we’d talked about these things. Outside of school it was as if the subject of death, the afterlife, or anything of that nature, simply didn’t exist. Well, unless one went the temple of the two sisters I suppose, but who ever went there except for weddings and, goddess forgive me, funerals? This sort of thing happened to other ponies, not to me! No, sir! But here I was nonetheless, with no direction in which to go, no sun to get my bearings by, and above all, no Meadow. I had only one goal now - to find where she had gone.

“She’s already moved on old boy.”

I jumped round in shock at the voice behind me, turning at what was, I later thought, a most impressively fast rate for a four legged being. Unexpectedly I found myself face to face with a scene so bizarre I took a step back in surprise, my mouth open and eyes wide. There before me was a rather bored looking gold coloured stallion with equally golden eyes and the purest white mane, looking up at me from over a pair of half moon glasses that were attached to a thin chain around his neck. What added to the perplexing scene was not only the miraculous appearance of the pony, but that he was also sitting behind a large, and very ornate marble desk. It too had materialised seemingly out of thin air along with its occupant. On the desk in front of him was an equally large book with a smart brass lantern, inkwell, quills, and other assorted writing implements. A dull purple glow surrounded his horn as he dipped a quill into the ink.

“Name?”

I blinked in surprise. “What?”

The stallion raised an eyebrow, “First name?”

“I...” I stumbled.

“‘I. What’,” the pony mumbled as he wrote in the book. “Unusual name.”

I gave myself a shake and lifted a hoof to catch his attention. “No, look, my name’s not ‘I. What’, it’s-”

“-Are you sure?” the stallion interrupted in an irritated manner. He made a show of putting down his quill and fixing me with a stern gaze.

“Yes,” I replied clearing my throat. “I’m sure.”

“Well then, Mr Sure, this is all most irregular,” the strange stallion began. “You’re very lucky we found you here before you faded, you know. Bringing in shades from the Withers is not a task we take likely in the herd. I was just saying to my wife the other day that-”

I slammed both my forehooves on the desk making the golden coated pony sit back in surprise. He gave a loud huff and I stared down at him narrowing my eyes. “I have a name,” I said firmly. “My name is Fairlight. That’s all. Just, Fairlight. Not ‘I. What’, and certainly not bloody well ‘I. Sure’ either!” I banged my hoof on his desk, emphasising each word, “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?”

Visibly taken aback the stallion harrumphed, straightened his glasses, and took out some correction solution from a desk drawer before writing my name, correctly this time, in his book. “Crystal,” he said in a low voice.

“Good,” I said regaining my composure. “And now that you know know who I am, may I ask who you are, where am I, and what the hell is going on!” I lowered my voice, trying to keep my anger under control. “I would also recommend, my friend, that you explain very clearly exactly where my wife is too.”

The unicorn closed his eyes and sighed loudly as he pushed his chair back. Very quickly I realised that the desk had given me the illusion that the bespectacled clerk was a normal pony like myself, but as he unfolded himself from the velvet lined chair, I balked at how wrong I was. He was taller than me alright. A lot taller. He shook out a pair of huge wings, stretching and then folding them back again to his flanks. Letting his spectacles drop from his nose to dangle from their chain, he walked slowly around the end of the desk until he was standing uncomfortably close. I had never seen an alicorn before, and this one brought back to my mind all the childhood stories of their awe and power. This creature was quite literally glowing with it - a shining aura emanating around him that caused me to shield my eyes from the glare.

“You are NOT in any position to make demands of ANYPONY, Mister Fairlight,” he bellowed down at me. “I don’t think you realise just how much trouble you are causing us right now!”

It was like be screamed at by an angry hurricane. Rallying against the audible onslaught I lowered my head into a fighting stance and glared back at him, unwilling to back down. “Trouble?” I seethed. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? What my wife went through? Damn you, sir, I want answers, and I want them now! So you had better get your arse in gear Mister Alicorn, and tell me what I what I want to know!”

“Aethel.”

“What was that?” I asked.

“My name is Aethel,” the alicorn explained cooly. “First phalanx, second clerical division of the royal host. Where you are is the Wither World, also known simply as ‘The Withers’. A world between worlds if you will.” Aethel advanced on me, poking me in the chest with his hoof. “You, Mister Fairlight, are dead. Deceased. Terminated. Call it what you will.” He scratched his ear for a moment in thought before continuing, “Ponies do not normally die violent deaths. You on the other hoof, have, together with your wife”.

“Where-” I started, only to be interrupted by Aethel raising a hoof and shaking his head.

He went on, “She is with the herd now Fairlight.” He turned back to the desk and spun the oversized ledger so I could read it. Pointing out the entry before mine, I saw the name ‘Meadow’ together with her signature and a description of her. Before I could read any more, the golden alicorn slammed the book shut.

“You cannot enter the Eternal Herd, Fairlight.” Aethel spoke with a quiet gentleness that made the very breath catch in my throat. This was unexpected. Unfortunately it didn’t sound like it was good news either, and that was an understatement to say the least. My blood froze in my veins at his next words, “I’m sorry.”

“What? What do you mean, ‘I can’t enter the herd’?” I stammered.

I think the shakiness in my voice gave him pause, as he moved forward and momentarily placed a sympathetic hoof on my shoulder. “It is hard to describe to you in terms you may understand. Believe me, this is something Equestria has not experienced since the wars of the three tribes, Fairlight. Violence, hate, killing, rape, murder. Nothing has happened like this for an age.”

“Until now,” I added quietly.

“Until now,” Aethel agreed with a solemn nod. “Fairlight, ponies were never meant to experience what you have, and the herd are...” he paused, “concerned.” Aethel shook his mane as he continued, “Concerned about letting you join the herd in your, erm, ‘current’ condition”.

“Eh? What condition?” I almost shouted, “I’m damned well dead for bucks sake! I don’t think I’m going to be making a sudden miraculous recovery from that, buddy! It’s a bit more final than a bad case of flu wouldn’t you say?”

“Don’t be flippant,” Aethel admonished me. He glanced over his shoulder as he walked back behind the desk. “I can see it in your eyes, Fairlight.” His voice took on a deep serious timbre. “There is something within you which cannot be allowed into the herd or else it could… ‘corrupt’ us.” He grimaced slightly, and looked me straight in the eyes. “To be brief, your soul has been tainted by your experiences and must be dealt with before you can join us. Surely you must understand this, yes?”

“But Meadow!” I said, my voice taking on a note of desperation, “I promised I would see her again and-”

“I understand Fairlight,” Aethel interrupted, “but as I said, you simply cannot enter in your current condition. You must stay here in the Wither World until we can think of some solution to the problem.”

“And how long will that take?” I shouted, “You’ve already said I could fade away here. Goddesses above, Aethel, haven’t I suffered enough?! Don’t do this to me!” I cradled my head in my forelegs, this was all simply too much to bear. “Meadow,” I whispered, “I’m sorry, love, I don’t know what to do.”

“Fairlight, I-” Aethel began.

And then I felt it. It was a fire, not of heat but of cold, ice cold, burning in my chest, building up and up into a raging, howling inferno of such anger and ferociousness as I have never known before. Every synapse in my mind felt like it was alight with fiery ice, my coat prickling in waves from my neck to my tail. Rage, fear, hopelessness, despair, loss: all these emotions boiled in my heart screaming for release, crying out for me to slip the chain restraining them and burn my pain out into this barren landscape. I turned on the gold coated stallion who backed away from me with a sudden look of abject terror in his wide eyes. A roaring, blood chilling scream the likes of which I had never heard before filled the air, rolling like a shock wave across the black sand causing it to ripple outward. Outwards, I discovered, from me.

“I. Want. My. WIFE!” I part croaked, shouted, and screamed simultaneously at the alicorn.

“Goddesses!” he cried out. “Take a look at yourself, stallion. Look what you have become! Can’t you see why you cannot be allowed to enter the herd, you fool? If you came to us now you would poison us all, including your precious wife!” His wings ruffled as he narrowed his eyes, “Meadow is with us. She’s safe. Would you risk her safety by bringing that… that ‘thing’ in with you?”

I backed away from him and howled up at the dark sky, a long lonely howling cry of utter despair. Around me small white flakes appeared in the air and slowly began to fall to the ground.

“I’m sorry, Fairlight.” Aethels words came from another world now. A world I could no longer be a part of. “You can see now why this must be the way it must be,” he said quietly. “Forgive us. I hope you find peace.”

I didn’t notice him leave. I could only stare down at the ground between my forehooves, the snow falling all around me as tears turned to tiny crystals that rolled down my cheeks and fell like a rain of diamonds. None of this was real of course. There was no way any of it was real. But… what if it was? What if this wasn’t all just some feverish dream conjured up by a damaged mind? Not only had I witnessed the utter destruction of my life in Equestria, but now even my rest within the Eternal Herd had been denied me. The horrible truth ran through my mind over and over again, yet no matter home many time I tried to make sense of it, the same words kept coming back to me with dreadful clarity. I had been denied entry to the herd. Denied. Refused. Taken. Stolen. Stolen by those two vermin who had cause Meadow unimaginable suffering: the big red bastard called ‘Mel’ and the piss yellow one, ‘Gates’. They were the ones who had caused this. They were the ones who should be here suffering, not me. Not after what they had done to my beloved Meadow.

I growled. A long low rumbling exaltation of hatred and anger, my muzzle dripping with the anticipation of the deliciously painful deaths I would inflict on these ponies should I manage to somehow visit my vengeance up their filthy carcases. These weren’t ponies, ponies wouldn’t do those kinds of things. They were… vermin. Yes, that was it - vermin. And vermin must be exterminated, killed without delay, destroyed to stop their sickness from infecting others. As they had infected me, and cursed my soul to this damned existence in a barren world. It was then, in that moment of anger, hatred and sorrow, that I pledged to avenge myself upon those two murderers. I had no idea how, but now, at least I had a direction. I had a purpose. A purpose that would not be satisfied until I had drenched myself in the blood of those two animals. If it took me until the ending of the world, I would visit hell itself upon them.

Comments

[catfire13]

Woah!

[Fallen Knight]

“Look well piggy,” he whispered, “look well. You’re gonna enjoy this. At least, he is

anyways!” He shrieked out another of his maniacal laughs as he shoved my useless body with his, probably trying to make himself more comfortable.

Looks to be missing some text there?