Feathers
Rainbow Dash sat at the edge of the Wonderbolt’s complex, looking over the edge of the massive cliffs that bordered the plateau. She watched the river that flowed under the base spill out of the cliff face in a massive waterfall. Heights did nothing to phase her, she had grown up in the clouds, and being a pegasus, she knew that falling could easily be stopped with a few flaps of her wings. The prismatic Wonderbolt pawed at the grass, thinking about how she wanted to confront Twilight. She had left Spitfire’s office feeling a lot more confident, and ready to face Twilight, but just on the trot from the office to outside, she had begun wondering what she was actually going to do. Dash couldn't just show up at the castle and wing it, she needed some sort of plan, at least some idea of what she wanted to do.
“Twilight wanted to learn about pegasi... Maybe I'll just have to teach her our traditions for relationship stuff.” Rainbow couldn't remember what the correct term was, something to do with judges, but it didn't matter right now, all that mattered was facing Twilight. “Come on Dash, you got this.” The pegasus slapped herself and winced softly at the stinging. “C’mon! Now or never!” She slapped her other cheek and rubbed the tender spot. “Ow…”
Psyched up, Rainbow dove off the cliff and shot downwards, aiming at an angle to take advantage of the gravity pulling her down. Her wings caught the air and kept her gliding along speedily in the direction of Ponyville as the sun finally slipped below the horizon. Flying was by far her favorite activity, and she easily fell into the motions while thinking about what she could say. Pegasus tradition would only carry her so far, and she would have to say something eventually.
Wanting to be as presentable as possible, Dash took a slight deviation, and aimed for a nearby cloud. She snatched up the small cumulus and dragged it down to another larger one that she stood on before bucking the smaller one and standing under it.
Twilight sat at her table still, though now she was looking at a book named ‘Courtship of the Tribes,’ which had the relationship traditions of all the pony tribes and races. She had decided that if she was going to tell Rainbow how she felt, she might as well do it right, and court her like a pegasus would. “Pegasus ponies traditionally present their desired partner with a primary feather from their left wing as a sign of love and affection. A feather from the right wing is only to be presented to a deceased pony out of respect or love, and is considered bad luck if given in the wrong circumstance.”
The Princess grimaced slightly, making sure to remember it was the left wing she had to take the feather from, since ones from the right wing were only for honoring the deceased. “I better not mess that up…” She continued reading the book, getting to a section on chest floof and the role it played in pegasus courtship.
A few minutes later, Twilight stood and stretched, going over what she would do when the time was right. Before meeting with Rainbow, she had to gather her data and come up with her findings on her theory. She wanted a legitimate cover for visiting in case she backed out of confronting Dash. “No, no, no! No backing out, you have to do this Twilight!”
Up in the darkening sky, Rainbow Dash shook her body and flapped her wings as fast as a hummingbird, shaking the water off her from the quick cloud shower. Her coat and mane fluffed up, which she quickly corrected with a few strokes of her hoof. “Okay…” Clean and smelling of fresh rain, Dash felt a little more confident, and continued her flight downwards toward Ponyville and the crystalline castle.
What felt like an eternity later, Dash landed a few hundred feet from the entrance to the castle, and she slowly trotted up the dirt path. The flight from Wonderbolt HQ to Ponyville usually was a quick and fun flight, but today it felt much longer, the heavy thoughts making time drag by. Now that she was on the ground though, time suddenly seemed to pass in a flash, and Dash found herself standing in front of the main entrance. This crush was messing with her head, and she was getting flustered.
Twilight had long ago established that her friends were welcome into the castle at anytime, so Dash opened the door and trotted inside, hoping Twilight was in the library as usual. She made her way down the main hall, turning before reaching the map room to get to the library. The doors were shut, and the nervous pegasus took a deep breath before knocking. “Twilight? Are you in there?”
Twilight jumped a little at the sudden noise, her wings spreading on reflex before she got them under control. She took a deep breath too, unknowingly mimicking the prismatic pegasus on the other side of the door. “I'm here, you can come in.” Her heartbeat jumped as the door opened, and she felt warm as Dash entered the room. “Uhm, hey there.”
“Hey Twi.” Rainbow made her way over to the purple Princess, keeping her demeanor as casual as possible. She sat a couple feet away, not wanting to get to close and make things any more awkward then they already were.
“I need to talk to you.” They said at the same time, pausing afterwards for a brief moment before laughing together. Twilight put her hoof out to shush the pegasus, but was immediately mirrored by Rainbow, who did the same.
Dash held her hoof up and spoke louder, ready to talk over Twilight if she needed to. “No, I need to talk to you first, don't try and stop me, I have to do this, okay?”
Twilight nodded silently, lowering her hoof and listening, respecting Dash’s wishes.
“Twilight, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have run off after... I... Kissed you…” She cringed as she spoke, wanting nothing more than to run off again and hide. “I shouldn't have even kissed you without asking... I'm really sorry Twilight, I panicked like an idiot. You might feel the same, but, I'm not sure, I keep thinking I'm remembering what happened wrong.”
Twilight sat still for a moment, taking in what Rainbow had said, before nodding. “I accept your apology, but... It really isn't necessary.”
Heat flashed through Dash’s body, was that a good thing? “I-I kissed you though, I shouldn't have without asking, and I ran off afterwards like an idiot.”
“I know, but... I'm not upset Rainbow, you don't have to apologize. I mean it. Sometimes the best things in our lives are spontaneous.” The Princess kept calm on the surface, hiding her inner panic at the situation, something she had learned to do well for diplomatic meetings and public speaking.
“If... If that's true, then I hope it means what I think it means. I don't know how much you've been studying pegasi Twilight, but…” Dash extended her left wing and plucked one of her primary feathers from it, wincing slightly as she pulled if free. The large blue feather was pristine, and the pegasus held it gently in her mouth as she approached the alicorn with her chest puffed out. When she was just inches from her crush, Dash bowed with her wings fully extended, and gingerly placed the feather at Twilight's hooves before backing away a few steps.
Twilight gasped softly, watching with wide eyes as Rainbow Dash courted her in the traditional pegasus manner. She couldn't help but smile with joy at the display, and stretched out her own left wing to return the gesture. The Princess chose a large purple primary feather, and yanked it sharply with her teeth, also wincing as she plucked it from her wing.
Rainbow watched with her own wide eyes, Twilight knew what she had meant, and was returning the display of affection! She was smiling too as Twilight approached her with feather in mouth, chest puffed up, and wings spread open. Her heartbeat sped up as the long, beautiful feather was placed at her hooves while Twilight bowed. Watching Twilight return to her pillow, she finally spoke up. “Y-you... You know the pegasus feather thing, uhm, with the judges.”
“Do you mean courting?” Twilight laughed softly, glancing down at the blue feather she now had with a smile. “Pegasus courting?”
“Yeah! That... Y-you did that.” Dash sat looking at the feather, then returned her gaze back up to Twilight. “I wasn't sure if you would know or not... But I figured that you were studying Pegasi, so there was a chance. I'm glad I took that chance, this means so much Twilight.” Unable to wipe the smile from her face, Rainbow approached Twilight, wings extended, and hung her head over the Princess’ neck, gently hugging her. Twilight quickly returned the gesture, wings flaring open as she also hung her head over Dash’s neck in a hug.
Twilight could smell the fresh rain scent in Rainbow’s mane, and smiled, nuzzling into it happily. “Hey, Rainbow?”
“Hmmm?” Dash was doing the same, her nose twitching slightly at the scent of lavender in Twilight's mane as they stayed locked in their embrace. “What's up?”
“I love you, Rainbow Dash.” The Princess felt hot as she spoke, the nervousness she had felt all built up in this one moment. Her heart felt like it was going to explode, and she could hear the blood pumping in her ears.
Dash pulled away from the hug and stood nose to nose with the purple alicorn, a small smile on her face. “I love you too, Twilight Sparkle.” She moved forward, finding Twilight meeting her halfway in a passionate kiss, one that both mares enjoyed even more than their first kiss. They wrapped their wings and front legs around one another, keeping each other close.
“Mmm…” Dash gave an uncharacteristic coo at the mutual kiss, their lips mashed together. The two stayed with their lips locked, enjoying the intimacy and warmth of one another, and Dash enjoyed how soft Twilight's lips felt on her own.
When the kiss broke, both gave a soft gasp, smiling at one another, before Rainbow started giggling softly, followed by Twilight who broke into full laughter. A flash of light surrounded them, and they reappeared in a large pile of pillows against the edge of the library’s back wall. The two laughed joyfully, laying on the soft pillows until the fits of giggling wore off.
“I was so worried coming here, I'm glad I didn't keep avoiding this, I owe Spitfire a thank you.” Dash cuddled up with Twilight, laying on her back and looking up at the high crystalline ceiling.
“I'm glad you came, I was going to use my research as an excuse to see you if I chickened out of telling you. I'm not sure if I could have done it, but it all worked out.” Twilight looked over to the pegasus with a blush.
Dash returned the look, giving Twilight a reassuring snuggle and peck on the nose, which caused them both to blush. “Oh yeah! Your research, did you find anything out?”
“Lots, thanks for helping me.” Twilight smiled wide, Dash's interest in her work making her heart flutter. “Like I found out that pegasus ponies can in extremely rare cases catch bird flu via Griffins. The name is misleading, since its more a mental ailment than physical, and it causes the victim to behave like a bird! Another thing I learned studying you specifically, is that your genetics a…”
Rainbow smiled and snuggled up with her favorite egghead, most of what Twilight would tell her would probably go over her head, but she didn't care. She was happy, and with the mare she loved, not understanding some of the sciency stuff was fine with her.
Starlight and Spike poke their heads into the library to find Twilight and Dash cuddled up in the pillow pile. A few errant snores gave away that they had fallen asleep talking, and Starlight smirked. “Yes! You owe me 10 bits Spike, I told you they couldn't last more than a week apart!”
Spike grumbled, the wager had been lost. “Ugh, you win, let's leave them alone, the bits are in my room.”
THE END
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8853155
Okay, there it is. Thanks!
This is cute.
My overall feeling on this is that it's... Nice. I don't really have much to say on it, really. I didn't notice any errors and your characters are fine, but it's not very memorable among the hundreds of other Twidash fics out there. Maybe if you'd played with that Comedy tag and the idea of bird behaviors in Pegasi more, it could have been a more interesting read. You've definitely got some solid writing ability, but I've read this same story dozens of times before with slight variations and came into it hoping for something different.
Interesting detail with which wing the feather has to come from.
Cute and fluffy. Grammar needs some work, but I like it.
8853387
It would help if my editor/proofreader wasn't myself. It would also help if you gave a few examples, cause I'm not gonna be able to spot my own errors.
8853366
It was taken from Japanese Kimono tradition. (I'm half-Japanese, any excuse to use stuff like that makes me happy.)
8853345
Welcome to every FiMFiction story, where all you can do as a new writer is write something extremely generic, because if you write something fun, it'll be called out as plagerism. You have no idea how much I wanted to go crazy with the comedy tag. I had so many ideas, but I killed them to avoid being to similar to already written stories on the site. Generic Fanfic: The Fanfic
Thanks for the feedback though.
8853668
Just as an example, there are numerous instances where you used a comma when a period or semicolon was required. Commas should not be used to join two independent clauses unless you also use a conjunction.
8853701
Oh god, you're talking serious grammar, there is no way I'd catch any of that. I'm no English major, and I haven't had an English class since 2015, that kind of stuff is never going to be fixed unless I get an editor who knows about this stuff. I like to write, I never claimed to be good at it.
8853345
Sorry you dislike the answer, but it is completely true. I had ideas, but they were far to similar to an already existing story, thus I ditched them. There is a point where there are no good original ideas left, and within my ability and likes, there are very few left.
8853681
I might be misinterpreting this but... What? I mean, I totally feel you on the fact that good ideas that haven't been explored are few and far between, I've had plenty of ideas that I've scrapped upon discovering something similar, but you lose me after that. In order to avoid claims of plagiarism, you write something more similar to things already written? I mean, I guess at some point it goes from "plagiarism" to "trope-heavy", but I think I'd prefer the former if it means a more entertaining and "original" story. You can argue about which way is more "original", but I feel like watering down a story to make it indistinguishable from dozens of others is the opposite of how one should deal with potential plagiarism. If this fic were the second coming of Mood Wings, or that one story where Twilight buys a bird feeder, but it was good and didn't plot point-for-plot point follow the other story it was similar to, I think I'd have liked it a lot more.
8853804
I have no original ideas that would make it stand out, so I just went with generic. When you make something generic like that, then the whole plagerism thing doesn't become an issue just due to the massive number of similar stories. I wrote a thing, I never claimed I was good at writing.
8853345
Agree, have Twilight research that more. You put in something unique and ignore it
I would've liked to see Twilight compare her "Floof" too.
Celestia's butt is proportionate to the size of her body. There's your feedback