- Member Since 7th Sep, 2015
- offline last seen Sunday
Jojobinxs
I liked the show during the first seasons and stayed for the fics.
Jojobinxs
Joined 7th Sep, 2015 ·
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A "cool" protagonist uses the author's fave fiction powers to fight against his foes (powers the chump gets for no reason). This might evolve to some form of god/Sue later in the story, but that's a coin flip.
Somewhere along the way he'll meet Princess Twilight Sparkle and she'll instantly "feel a connection" with him, for whatever reasons. Maybe he saves her, maybe they're born with it, maybe it's plot convenience. She tries talking about friendship, he'll claim how he's feared, hated, powerful, and his way of life is superior. She'll act OOC and say, "Wow, you must have have bad friends, but open up to me", and will either cure him with her womanly wiles or learn to live with his edge.
After that, we'll go down two alternate routes. Harem route and solo route.
Harem Route includes him meeting all the mane 6 (in this case humane) and, one by one, converts them to his harem. Details aren't important, he'll just do it because. Go on to Solo route as not much else changes.
Solo route: The girls all confide in him and allow the OC to lead them, despite having no reason to. Twilight would make a better leader, but for some reason this nobody who is nothing more than a chump will have good plans, a solid head, and leadership under his belt.
Slowly ramp up to final boss, some form of god, defeat it through friendship or edge (your choice).
Extra points if you entertain the following:
OC never faces serious threats
Everyone acts OOC around the OC
OC one-ups everyone in everything they're good in
Now, this is just by going off the description and general trends. Not 100% accurate, but I think it's a close enough guesstimate to be valuable.
Don't take any notice of Hamster_Master. This guy is an asshole who likes to shit on people's fic's regardless if it's good or bad.
8776752
Hey genius, you forgot to hit that funny symbol that indicates Reply. It looks like >>. You're welcome.
8776965 Thank you for calling me a genius because I did hit that symbol otherwise I wouldn't be able to make a comment.
Okay its only the first chapter and it instantly gets judged that much. Jeez people need to chill and stop assuming things, News flash the shows make Diamond dogs the dumbest things alive so easy to deal with
My concern lies chiefly with the grammar. Using correct grammar will greatly increase the odds that your fic will be taken seriously.
This idea has also been done a lot, though. Might want to go with something fresher.
8777163 That's is because Hamster_Master didn't read your story. His comment is a copy and paste that he sometimes use. I know this because this the same comment he use on chapter 19 of My little Tactic just yesterday and it's clear he didn't read all the chapters of that story. So I will say it again. Don't take any notice of Hamster_Master he isn't worth your time.
Nice story by the way.
Third person PoV is better than second or First.
I am not running around.
I am sitting on my butt, reading a fic and judging it.
Ranger Wolf is running around.
Please in the future, use 3rd person.
8777379
Thanks for the support. Yeah i don't care about his comment his lose for even bothering to copy paste it anyways.
8777527
I'll take that into account
8777379
You cyberstalking me, creeper? How about you work on that third grade level grammar instead of going /r9k/ on an internet rando?
8777972 Your welcome ^^
8778272 It isn't cyberstalking since you keep popping up in the comments of different fic's.
I like this and hope you update more often than my fallout story.
Thanks. I'll try.
Aie man this is a really great story so far can't wait to see where it goes next.
8777527
First of all, Second person is used to refer to the reader NOT first person. Secondly there are benefits to first and second person, third is not the best because that is an opinion. And there are multiple types of third person. I personally prefer first person.
Good Story So Far.
Two Tips.
One. The Chapters Seems A little Sort.
Two. The Pacing Is A Little Fast.
The Blood God is disappointed, but I am pleased with the chapter though
XD hey like i said sea of thieves is on console so i got my blood lust out on that.
this story has a lot of potential, so i hope you keep writing and dont let it die.
8826497
Thanks I'll do my best to keep it going.
8776748
Why don't you be a good little troll and go back under whatever rock you crawled out from under and stay there.
As far as this chapter goes, it's a bit fast paced and grammar is a bit rough. Take some time and slow the pace down a little bit. Also in a situation like this it's best to go over full inventory of your character.
A little better on this chapter. Grammar is still a bit of an issue here and some spelling errors (instead of ponys it ponies, etc). Again I recommend slowing the pace and filling in a lot more detail from characters to location. Overall though a good story so far, if a little rough around the edges.
Another decent chapter. I only have a few issues with it though. First, the human is still in his armor so how can any pony (Fizz) know he's cute? Second, the memories of the Hoover Dam don't make sense at least to me. How can he have memories of what never happened? Overall the story is a bit face paced still with some spelling and grammar errors. You might consider finding an editor/proofreader for future projects. Still though, keep up with your work.
8838475
Thanks Honestly first story I've ever written in my life. Even going through grade school all the papers I had to write where research papers. Wolf said that to Fizz. And for the memory thing not saying down here.
8838431
>wEll YoU'Re juSt A troLL
Nice response, child. That sure proved me wrong.
i really like how you are having your MC having his own memories, while dealing with the Veteran Rangers memories trying to force themselves/merge onto/with his.
So... Is this a Fallout: Equestria story?
No its a Ranger from New Vegas In regular Equestria.
8865163
No it's a Ranger from New Vegas In regular Equestria.
(Author forgot to click reply)
8839048
So we meet again Hamster.
8874034
Do I know you, rando?
Great work can't wait for the next chapter
Sweet, I only hope you continue and keep writing for fun!
Wait why didn't he take the train?
Why did you call the Sierra Madre the worst DLC? Wouldn’t that title go to Honest Hearts?
8917240
I love Honest hearts for the lore and the terrain. Sierra Madre is awful in my opinion. I don't like the taking away my stuff and making me get stressed out over the bomb collar. Honest hearts is the nice because there's not some constant threat like blowing up or dyeing of rads in the divide.
8916633
He's a ranger all they do is walk really and I wouldn't think he'd like trains since The NCR uses convicts to make the railways and they blow them up sometimes.
8917930
I respect your opinion, but The Sierra Madre was supposed to make you feel stressed, it’s trying to replicate what survival horror games do. And it does it masterfully, making you frantic as you try to ration out stim-packs or when you run out of ammo for your gun. I do admit it is my second least favorite, but at least Dog and God were fun to have around.
So I just finished this first chapter and I want to give an honest critique of it.
It honestly doesn’t start out that strong, almost instantly hitting the reader with your personal opinion when we don’t even know the characters name yet. It also has a case of the “Minecraft fanfic” disease, where the author just assumes the reader knows enough about New Vegas and it’s DLC to understand it, not accounting for people who might not be gamers.
The name of the game here is detail, be more descriptive! Briefly explain why your character hates the Sierra Madre. Tell us more about his likes and dislikes, explain what his life is like! When he finally escapes the vault, he shouldn’t just yell, he should be exclaiming with joy as he finally finished that “damned DLC”. Remember, “the name of the game is detail”!
Your character description is actually pretty good, giving us a good idea of how he looks, but it is kinda out of place when you put it in so abruptly. Again, detail is important as from how you worded it, it sounded like he just collapsed on the floor after brushing his teeth. Now you don’t have to go into “Lord of the Rings” levels of detail, but a brief description of his room would make it so much easier to understand.
When he wakes up in Equestria with his NCR Ranger armor, I do have one major complaint, he adapts way to easily to his surroundings. It’s a pitfall most stories with Oc’s face, be it turning into ponies or just being sent to Equestria out of the blue, they adapt extraordinarily well to the outlandish settings they find themselves in. A nerd like this guy should be freaking out way more than he did when he wakes up in the middle of a desert wearing armor from a video game, not just accept it like he’s done this before. A great way to avoid this is by thinking to yourself “how would a normal person react in this scenario?” and writing it down. Let him freak out for several minutes before he finally calms down to get a bearing on his surroundings, then realizing that he is wearing NCR ranger armor and armed to the teeth with weapons. This also applies when he see’s the buffalo tribe and the diamond dogs, he should be having a mental breakdown just looking at buffalo wearing native American attire or bipedal sentient dogs. The rest of the review would be me just rehashing the “have more detail” critique, so I’ll just wrap it up.
This is your first story so I can’t give you too much flak, as what I just critiqued is a common error most first timers go through. I should know, I wrote in a style similar to yours when I was in my Minecraft days and got the same complaints about my writing. The only way I got better was by continuing on with my writing so I could stretch my creative muscles and make better stories. And by the looks of that like to dislike bar you definitely got better with your writing over time. I hope this didn’t feel too mean-spirited, I just found that the best way to improve someone’s writing was by not holding back your negative critiques, but doing it in a way that didn’t make it feel like an insult. Keep writing and I know you’ll get better, so CONTINUE WRITING ON I SAY!
Will we see Misty again?
8918300
I like the area and the ghost are awesome but the story line is what makes it low on my list. I hate the brotherhood of steel as a faction and anything to do with them. The whole lore of the casino is good to but like I said the story line is what makes me not like it. If it was more focused on stuff like the ghost and not just that elder trying to take over the world thing and your main goal is to kill him so you or the faction you support can take over the dam it could be better.
8918313
Yes
You have my interest, this is a good story so far.
Yes. All of the yes.
I'll admit, this started off pretty choppy. Lots of spelling errors and the pacing was pretty rushed for the first few chapters, but there is a noticeable increase in quality every chapter. Ive enjoyed what ive read so far, and ill be keeping an eye on this.
For The Republic!
Damn right.
You can't help that all these great title games came out now. Right now I'm still trying to find everything in dad of war.