"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying."
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Wonderbolts have a duty to Equestria. In the case of Spitfire, however, duty does not stop there.
Ex-Wonderbolt Wind Rider, now dishonourably discharged, is living out his days on the seedier side of Manehattan. Under her own secret obligations, and certainly not because she wants to, Spitfire seeks him out and spends a few hours with him, giving him some company.
If both of them can agree on one thing, it's that this constitutes several hours too many.
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So the negligent, arrogant commander who got how many second chances handed to her wants to throw a fit over a bit of round-about when she's done and allowed far worse to happen.
The hypocrisy is palpable.
This was fantastic stuff. Really effective dramatic material, both in Spitfire's own contemplations and in her own dialogue with Wind Rider.
Those closing lines of the story were rather powerful, I must say.
8771283
It's funny you should mention that, because one of the ideas I was toying with in the fic was that Spitfire might even have been influenced by Wind Rider and his like.
Her preferring Lightning Dust's "win by any means" approach in "Wonderbolt Academy" is one example, and her deception to get Rainbow on her team in "Rainbow Falls" might by any chance be influenced by Wind Rider and other Wonderbolts members like him, who might have practised this kind of teammate shuffling and manipulation to get the best results for the team, at the expense of their integrity.
After all, some organizations do become complacent about their hidden bad behaviour, and it sometimes needs a newcomer or outsider to expose it and challenge it.
Although I don't agree with you about her being worse than Wind Rider, I do agree the parallels between the two are definitely worth exploring.
8771444
Glad you enjoyed it!
Those closing lines in particular I fussed over because I wanted to convey how much the fact pained Spitfire without being over-the-top or false, so thank you for letting me know.
Okay, I'm gonna say some things. First of all, love the story, 8/10, you have my Upvote, my Fav, and my Axe.
That said ... here we go into my rambling. I'm not intending to be down on you but ... there were some serious problems with it that I felt needed to be pointed out.
Wind Rider himself. While Spitfire certainly had to put up with a lot of gruff, and certainly has done some shady stuff at the Wonderbolts Academy in regards to allowing a callous individual to step up on the backs of the other rookies, she also stopped that once Rainbow proved that her partner was a malicious individual who didn't care about anything but success, and Spitfire had a epiphany that no matter how good the individual, the Wonderbolts were a team, first and foremost. That's one of the reasons why Wind Rider's shenanigans in the show hit so hard. He was supposed to be the best of them, and you touched on some of that in this story, that he'd been a champion of his generation.
Which made what happened with Rainbow Dash all the more poisonous and tragic, because it cast the shadow of doubt, of disgrace, not only over Wind Rider, but the Wonderbolts as a whole. How many promising rookies got thrown out because of Wind Rider? How many times had a rookie been 'accused' of cheating, or failing the Wonderbolts' code of conduct, or for another reason? How many of those might have crossed paths with Wind Rider, who saw somepony stepping up who could outclass him, so he fineagled things to take them out of the picture so he could remain on the A-Team?
While the ending of the story was strong, it wasn't really inspiring. Spitfire's bullied by her mother who insists that her old friend is just 'misunderstood' despite pulling some intensely horrific antics that almost caused severe issues for her own daughter, who then has to go out in public and endure being seen with a disgraced ex-Wonderbolt, giving the public the impression that Spitfire still believes in Wind Rider, or at least he has some positive connections to the Wonderbolts, which actually puts some very negative aspects to the Wonderbolts, that cheating is tolerated by the higher ups, to say the least.
He's a sad, awful, bitter monster who is completely unapologetic for indulging in, and sustaining, a culture of negativity and in-fighting amongst the Wonderbolts that continued on into Spitfire's era because 'it was the way things were done' and feels completely justified in nearly causing Rainbow's career to come out stillborn, but doing significant damage to Spitfire's via a forged letter. God knows if that's even his first forgery, especially since it was accurate enough to fool Spitfire, who would presumably know the hoof-writing of a former superior?
This wasn't a bad story, but I felt it could have done with Spitfire going to visit Wind Rider not out of a promise to her mother, or because of Wonderbolt Tradition, but for the 'rookies' who never made it to graduation because Wind Rider and those like him would tear them down before they ever got the chance to really fly as a Wonderbolt. For herself, when she goes back to Cloudsdale and has to face down a boardroom full of business-ponies only interested in marketability and bits and shareholders when they demand she re-adopt the kind of leadership that Wind Rider 'pioneered' to make the Wonderbolts a best-seller again. For the former Wonderbolts who were discharged because they tried to draw attention to the corruption and the bullying, and were cast out under false pretenses to save the faces of the crooked ponies in charge.
The story could have had much more impact if Spitfire's internal monologue about why she put herself through meeting Wind Rider again, that it was more about reaffirming her commitment to not being Wind Rider, to dedicating herself to remaking the Wonderbolts into something she could hoof over, many years from now, to a suitable successor as an untarnished legacy of greatness as they had once been, rather than a pile of corrupt second-grade athletes and guilty accomplices that she inherited.
8771667
I'm not to keen on letting someone willingly ignoring destructive behavior to the point of injury of both other students and civilians slide with a "Sorry" and simply expelling the one they instigated as it's primarily showing she's unwilling to teach others and more wanting to simply put a problem out of sight and mind like it never happened. Thats far worse then simply creating the best outcome theough unsavory means, even more so when sending someone unfit for a mission/contest on it is rather malicious in it's outcome under most circumstances if you know full well most of the others can't pick up the slack.
The two faced nature of how these situations were handled in the first place is something I'm frankly tired of. Practice what you preach or stop preaching all together, and at this point most of the cast only does so when it suits then.
Like the Wonderbolts acadamy. A certain Mirror Pool. The Weather Factory. The reliance on prophecy and utter complacence overall.
I will admit that pacifism is acceptable as well, but for the most part theres' a decided difference between not wanting to harm others and simply not trying to defend ones self.
This is why Spitfire is the worst.
She completely failed and Lightning Dust paid the price.
Some dimension to Wind Rider.
Apologies for the delay everyone. I must admit some of these comments surprised me, so I wasn't sure how to respond to them. Having had time to think, however, I must say I'm very intrigued! Also, sorry about not replying sooner. I didn't mean to be impolite.
8772111
First of all, thanks for the comment. I take it as a compliment that you were interested enough to offer some constructive feedback.
Secondly, I think I see where you're coming from, but I'm not 100% I understood it all. I think you're saying that the fic would have been stronger if there'd been a greater focus on Spitfire not only distancing herself and the Wonderbolts from Wind Rider, but if there'd been an emphasis on improving the Wonderbolt image to escape its notorious legacy.
While I am fascinated by this point, I should point out that I wasn't necessarily going for "inspiring", especially at the end as you point out. The fic's tagged "sad" for a reason; the general set-up was meant to be a depressing experience, alleviated slightly because both characters want to get back to "the good old days" (Wind Rider to when he was popular, Spitfire to when she admired him), and their refusal to let this scandal go results in neither of them coming up top. For that reason, I almost tagged this as a "tragedy".
That said, you bring up some good points about cleaning up the Wonderbolts image for a stronger ending, and if ever I come back to these characters in a future project, that's definitely an idea I'm going to look into. For now, I suppose this particular fic should stand as a stepping stone.
Thanks again for the feedback! It's much appreciated, and apologies if I've misunderstood anything.
8772150
8776923
Yes, as much as Lightning Dust was causing problems at the Academy, as she points out, the Wonderbolts thought differently, and the ending has definite problems as it is. After all, if Lightning Dust is going to be disciplined, then Spitfire should take a share of punishment for letting her go so far. (Particularly weird, since she supervises all the other events except the very last one, when the tornado incident occurred).
I mean, I like the episode (Lightning Dust alone is a cool character), but it has problems.
8777991
I'm not clear what you mean. Do you mean "At last! Some dimension to Wind Rider, thanks!", or "Come on: give some dimension to Wind Rider, please!" If the former, then thanks! If the latter, I'd like very much to hear your thoughts on how I could improve his characterization, if only for future reference.
8791446
No problem with the delay, I just hope mine didn't come across overly aggressive, looking back at the wording of some of it.
8791454
Not at all. Passionate, maybe, but I wouldn't describe it as aggressive. These are legitimate moral concerns about the conduct of the Wonderbolts, and if anything, comments like yours get me thinking about that sort of issue when I might otherwise not notice it or realize it.
8791461
Yes, as much as Lightning Dust was causing problems at the Academy, as she points out, the Wonderbolts thought differently, and the ending has definite problems as it is. After all, if Lightning Dust is going to be disciplined, then Spitfire should take a share of punishment for letting her go so far. (Particularly weird, since she supervises all the other events except the very last one, when the tornado incident occurred).
I mean, I like the episode (Lightning Dust alone is a cool character), but it has problems.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
To be honest I really hate Wonderbolt Academy (especially the ending).
The least Spitfire could do is make Lightning Rainbows wingpony. Dust definitely deserves better.
8791446
I meant, he was granted a modicum of dimension. Unlike many WR fanfics I've read here, he wasn't portrayed here as either redeemed or delusional and unchanged. Rather, he behaved as though he wasn't sure of his next move. My own fanfic, was conceived to have him grapple with the issue when he was at his lowest point.
...wow... that is an excellent tone setter for how bleak people's outlooks often are in places like that. I've worked with people who are chronically impoverished in a number of contexts over the years and... yeah. Getting people to overcome that is a challenge. They often feel like there isn't a point in trying to change, and that's exactly the right theme for Wind Rider here. The contrast of the living quarters to his once magnificent robe, regalia, etc. just makes the bleakness of his life leap of the page and really drives home how much a man who could have been great (and still could be if he wasn't so stubborn) has just given up on trying.
This was quite the complex story. On one hand, it shows valid criticisms of the new generation of Wonderbolts, infected with perhaps a sort of "New Army" laxness that's dangerous in the field and makes for less battle-hardened soldiers. On the other hand, it's clear that the "Old Army," while perhaps once quite grand, had its own sort of corruption there at the end - a sickness that had seeped in. And Spitfire, product of Wind Rider's era, the new era, and the stories of the glory days of old, is determined to turn the Bolts into what they should be, while still fighting the sins of the last era of the Old Army and the weakness of the New.
And the two characters are complex too. Wind Rider is clearly in the wrong, but there's a certain pathos to him - it's tragic to see someone who could have been great, was great in some ways, destroyed by his own vanity, by a mindset which lost sight of what the Bolts were supposed to be, both as performers and (more importantly) as soldiers. He seems lost and confused. And Spitfire doesn't exactly come off perfectly either. On one hand, it is commendable that she seeks so firmly to root out the corruption in the Bolts and make them great once more. On the other hand, her refusal to forgive Wind Rider and let go of the past (not forgetting or condoning what he's done; simply letting the wicked act die and do no further harm) hampers her and keeps her from moving forward. She's far better off than Wind Rider, and still comes across as a worthy protagonist, but this is a fairly significant personal failing that she has yet to overcome or even fully recognize. Righteous anger is a healthy emotion, but hate and unforgiveness, however seemingly justified, is ultimately self-destructive. The soldiers who come back from the war the most healthy psychologically are generally the ones who were able fight the enemy without hating the enemy; to have righteous anger rather than wrath. I wouldn't go so far as to say that Spitfire is wrathful, but while she is being better than Wind Rider, she's still not being the best version of herself.
All of which makes for a compelling story. There's really not a clear-cut answer to it and its a sobering look at the long-term effects that an act of betrayal can have, as well as considering the different forms of corruption and the ways we deal with it - both good and bad. And, while Spitfire is flawed, she's not so flawed that I can't still root for her and feel sympathetic to her point of view. Overall an excellent story.
9269457
Oh good grief, this reply of mine is waaaaay overdue. First of all, and as weak as it is after such a delay: Thank you for the comment. This sort of engagement is worth more than any amount of likes and faves to me. I just didn't know how to do it justice in return.
I think the most salient point to focus on is the complexity angle you mentioned. As much as I enjoy stories with a clear good-versus-evil axis to work off, it's something I feel less excited about when it comes time to writing. With rare exceptions, people just don't slide neatly into black-and-white categories. Even when one side is more clearly wrong than the other, it's always important to remember that people are, first and foremost, people, with all the messiness that implies. That was my guiding principle when characterizing these two, as you've described above. Plus, I think it makes characters more interesting to have multiple sides, even sympathetic angles, as with Wind Rider and his nostalgia for his old team.
I have to admit that distinction between righteous anger and wrath didn't occur to me. My main focus at the time was in drawing parallels between Spitfire's less-exemplary moments in canon (particular her and Fleetfoot's deception in Rainbow Falls) and Wind Rider's manipulative tactics in his episode. Your idea is intriguing; I may have to steal it.
Overall, I'm pleased you liked the story so much, and if I ever get back into the writing game here, I hope to produce stories on par with this one again.
9401016
Hey, I just appreciate it when people respond. I don't sweat the time delay. I had to read back through my own comment to remember what I said that was apparently well-thought-out
On the note of black and white characters, G.K. Chesterton once remarked that saints are simply those who know that they are sinners. Heroes aren't heroes because they lack flaws; they're heroes because they strive to be better. On the other end of the spectrum, even the most evil people on the planet have reasons for doing what they do; this in no way justifies their actions or makes them not evil, but it does lend a greater empathy, which can help either mitigate their damage or even bring them around to the other side. The complex interplay between saintly sinners and sympathetic villains accounts for much of why even clear-cut examples of right and wrong can still be messy. The Axis powers were clearly the villains of WWII, but that didn't mean that all their soldiers were evil men any more than it meant that every member of the Allies was pure as driven snow. Understanding that right and wrong can be discerned even in the midst of such messiness is an important lesson to learn, which is a big part of why I enjoyed this story - Spitfire may have her issues, but it's pretty unambiguous that Wind Rider did wrong and that she's at least trying to do better. So, once more, kudos!
As far as the distinction between righteous anger and wrath, please do steal it. The belief that anger is always an evil thing is as detrimental as believing that evil can be justified - when genuine evils are committed, it leaves us with no recourse except an answering evil to deal with the problem. This leads to a cycle of hate rather than the suppression of an evil.
I truly did enjoy this story, and I'll keep coming back to it whenever I need something to make me thing.
You know wind rider?
You remind of another pegasus if you can even call her one with what she has done
Just letting you know
Even i helped her
Yet you?
You aren't willing to accept what you did
She was in terror at that last second before her sentence
...i hope you understand that She was like you in a way
extremely manipulative