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With a single post, just a handful of pictures from her phone, Anon-A-Miss managed to destroy months of effort to redeem herself. Even her actions at the Battle of the Bands seem to mean nothing in the face of this apparant treachery.

But when the Rainbooms confront Sunset, about her sudden betrayal and cast her out, she gives a response none of them had anticipated.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 542 )

This is a refreshing take on the story :twilightsmile: I particularly liked Sunset's reflections on how her Equestria Girls plans shouldn't have worked, unless something had actually been amiss elsewhere.

The behavior of the Humane 5 made me wonder if the real reason they hanged out with Sunset was because of obligation than friendship.

That being said, thank you for acknowledging the stupidity of a few texts breaking up a friendship. The only reason I could think of it being so effective is if they already had underlying trust issues that the texts exacerbated.

8771916
Really? Seems pretty standard to me. Sunset cuts ties with her former friends, the story goes on and on about how stupid they are and how Sunset never did much to begin and how their friendships weren't worth much since it took just "one text" to break them up.

8771924
See above. It would make more sense if the story went with something other than just one message being the reason they originally broke up, especially since Equestria Girls implied Sunset had been terrorising everyone openly and in secret for years.

But no. It's usually just one text and the blame falls on the Rainbooms even for what happened back when Sunset was a bully.

let's be honest, the source material is riddled with issues, most of it stemming from when it was situated in the EG timeline. However, it would be interesting and new if, say, it was explored how the Rainboom's inability to trust Sunset was a side-effect of her systematically destroying their ability to trust in the first place. Something less shallow than 'Sunset's friends are dumb, she needs better!'.

8771947
While Rainboom's behavior is mostly standart for the most "Anon-a-miss" fics, sure, Sunset's behavior is, indeed, original in this fic. A good change from the usual "instantly breaking down" routine at that.

Small details like Sunset doing pics for money are also interesting. Gonna follow/track the story for now. Hope it won't just die like most do.

8771916
Thanks :twilightsmile:
Glad to hear that I did that well

8771924
Well, Princess Twilight specifically tasked them with teaching her friendship, so there was definitely an element of obligation to it.
Considering that they were pre-character development, teenage, alternate Mane Six, without Twilight to hold them together, some underlying trust issues and frictions from their clashing personalities, were probably all present.

8771947
The source material is certainly riddled with issues. The format of the movie alone prevented any deeper look into how the Rainbooms were broken up in the first place and forced their reconciliation to be rushed as well.
But yes, that is an interesting idea to explore and I'll see if I can't incorporate that into the Rainboom centric B-Plot of the story. Show a bit more of how Sunset's actions affected them.

Well this is another take on Sunset transferring to another school, just hope it won't be Crystal Prep, also if Sunset does transfer out are you going to have her leave the journal with Celestia and Luna so they will be able to get in touch with Equestria in case of other magical stuff happens at CHS?

I admit I hesitate to give this story a chance because once you get passed the unique gimmick most Anon-a-miss stories are the same.

  1. Sunset is treated as being completely blameless, as if her past actions aren't what make it easy for other to suspect her in the first place. In real life your past mistakes always follow you , they don't disappear just because you did some good things.
  2. The rainbooms are treated as heartless monsters because they don't give Sunset their absolute trust despite how unreasonable that is in any friendship. Remember they didn't accuse her immediately they only did it because the photos came directly from Sunset's phone which is pretty damning evidence.
  3. Sunset is treated as the only victim that matters despite the fact everyone is having secrets revealed with the Rainbooms being the main targets.
  4. Sunset often befriends the Dazzlings because apparently attempting to enslave the world is nowhere near as bad as not giving absolute trust to a person you've been friends with for a few months after years of them tormenting you.

I'll give this a chance though because she didn't completely break down which always seemed really out of character for her because she is a fighter, she wouldn't give up on her friendship even if it was a reasonable thing to do because that friendship means way too much to her. Course she's still giving up way too easily here but whatever, "small victories" I guess.

8771991
True. As 8772046 points out, Sunset is a fighter who doesn't break down easily.

8772000
Sounds promising. And to be clear, I'm not saying Sunset doesn't have a right to be upset—she is innocent, after all—but she also spent much of her time in the human world humiliating her now-friends, bullying them, and stabbing them in the back. They've all been thoroughly burned before.

Nice start, maybe you can explore the Rainbooms trust issues with each other later too. Like something from their childhood that left some scars that made easy for them to break up over a text message.

8772015
Oh it won't be Crystal Prep she goes to...


8772046
I see your point, but don't worry. A big part of what inspired me to write this, was that I wanted a story which averts the usual conventions of AAM fics.

8772046
8772087
True Sunset is a fighter but even the strongest of people can break if they are hit hard enough by something. Most writers though seem to go with her being unable to find the strength to try and fix things with her friends. This goes with her just giving up and moving on but I'm better sure the emotional breakdown may happen down the road.

And while you're both right that Sunset's past actions along with the circumstances and evidence did justify their conclusions, many writers and myself think they should have given Sunset the benefit of a doubt and really ask themselves why she would create Anon-a-Miss in the first place. Or at the very least try and stop her, you know keep an eye on her or something.

“It’ll be fine.” she told herself “I’ll make new friends, better friends, friends without all of this… baggage. I’ve started my life over once and I can do it again.”

"I'll make my own friendship club, with a better 'Jack and huggers and none of you get to join."

In all seriousness though, I absolutely love where this is going. The start is uncannily like the first Anon-a-miss idea I had, but still different enough and written way better than I could have. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

8772106
The problem with that thought process is you're basically asking a bunch of emotional teenagers to act like rational mature adults.

I remember a story where Sunset went back to Equestria and the Humane 5 pointed out correctly that Sunset did have a reputation and they are right to be suspicious.

I wonder if you will also have people question the friends that sent in secrets held in confidence.

8772129
True but there should have at least one of the Rainbooms questioning their conclusion about Sunset being Anon-a-Miss which I'm hoping will happen in the coming chapters.

8772106

And while you're both right that Sunset's past actions along with the circumstances and evidence did justify their conclusions, many writers and myself think they should have given Sunset the benefit of a doubt and really ask themselves why she would create Anon-a-Miss in the first place. Or at the very least try and stop her, you know keep an eye on her or something.

The old Sunset craved power. She did what she could to humiliate anyone who had even a slim chance to be a challenge to her. One of her tactics was, as Applejack explained in EG1, to weasel herself into your trust so she could hurt you the most when she finally dropped the nice girl act.

Also, keep in mind that they did give her the benefit of the doubt. When Apple Bloom tried to pin the blame on Sunset, Applejack brushed her off. It was only after the pictures on Sunset's phone got out that they grew angry—pictures Sunset had taken just that week, on a phone she hadn't lost.

Love it
Can't wait to see more hehe

Nice to see the first chapter finished already, it was pretty fast in my opinion :twilightsmile:
Really looking forward to the next chapters :pinkiehappy:

Looking forward to more, please and thank you

Great news. Your story's now on the Featured Page. Congratulations.

Besides that, interesting. I look forward to seeing more.

This is certainly a different take on Anon-A-Miss issue from what I've seen. My interest has been caught, and I can't wait to see how this will all work out.

8772153

Also, keep in mind that they did give her the benefit of the doubt. When Apple Bloom tried to pin the blame on Sunset, Applejack brushed her off. It was only after the pictures on Sunset's phone got out that they grew angry—pictures Sunset had taken just that week, on a phone she hadn't lost.

That's not so much benefit of the doubt as it is Applejack dismissing circumstantial evidence. At least, that's what I feel like. Benefit of the doubt would actually have the Rainbooms giving Sunset a chance to prove herself.

A Anon-A-Miss story where Sunset decides that friendship is a waste of time saving? You have my attention.

8772099

Well why didn't she contact Twilight and ask her to open the portal back to Equestria, that way she can go home and leave the journal with Principal Celestia or Vice-Principal Luna, just so you know I think Luna is best Princess while her human is best human character.

8772313
Funny you should ask, because that will be explained in the next chapter.

8772227
Holy crap! Featured on the first day? I did honestly not expect that to happen.

8772087
Indeed she has and that will be touched upon, in the subsequent chapters.

8772327

Sweet, I can't wait to see how Twilight reacts to the whole Anon-A-Miss thing, though I bet she has a hunch who is behind it, after all the whole Anon-A-Miss thing is like the cartoon episode "ponyville confidential"

You, my good, sir, have earned a fav.

Let's see how this develops.

My only quabble is the length. You could certainly delivery a juicier story with some more description of the character's thoughts, even if it's just Sunset's, or their facial expressions, their body language. These things go a long way to both add more depth and length to chapters.

Either way, keep up the good job!

Ouch those last comments about commissions. By stil great story.

At first I was like "Ugh, another fucking Anon-A-Miss story?" But you know what, I gave this the benefit of the doubt and gave it a read anyway. Pretty good so far, but you missed a period somewhere.

Anyhow, tracking it now, as you've sold me on something I initially reacted to with disgust and contempt. Mostly because this was better than I expected. Keep it up.

I'm liking where this is going so far, though I'm heavily biased in favor of any Anon-A-Miss story that doesn't do the same old song and dance we've seen done a dozen-plus times before.

The only issue I really encountered while reading is that you really like using commas when there really shouldn't be any, or you put a comma almost but not quite where it's supposed to be. For example:

The glares everyone was still sending her way, told Sunset everything she needed to know about how little she had actually accomplished, in her attempts to redeem herself.

Neither of the commas in this sentence are needed, and they make this sentence stilted. Without the commas the sentence flows much better.

and

So, ultimately what was she to do

It should either be "So ultimately, what was she to do?" or just "Ultimately, what was she to do?".

I'm addicted to using commas too and have probably made all the same mistakes at one point or another. My rule of thumb is to just imagine the sentence read aloud with the commas serving as pauses. If a pause seems unnatural, you should probably get rid of the comma.

I think this is what currently inside sunset shimmer head after rainboom acusation

Can't wait for more!

I’m always up for more level-headed approaches to Anon-A-Miss rewrites.

Potential Corrections:

That is, if she actually was as loyal, as she claimed to be.

I don’t think that second comma should be there. Or perhaps you didn’t me to put that “as” in there.

In the meantime you should take look around

Missing an “a” between look and around.

8772339
Thanks for pointing that out
I'm still pretty new to writing, this chapter is longest continuous thing I've actually put to paper so far, so I appreciate any help in working out the kinks in my style.

An interesting concept, but as at least one person has already pointed out, it could use some editing, especially in regards to placement and overuse of commas.

8772461
8772417

Yeah I know, commas are kind of a issue with me.
English is not my first language and the way I place commas usually sounds fine in my head.
I should review the rules for comma placement in english soon.


8772428
Thanks for pointing those out.

You have my interest

I can see why this is at the top of the list, even if it's only the day after it was posted. You've done something nobody else has, with a topic everyone likes reading about. I look forward to seeing where this goes. :pinkiehappy:

As well as the reactions of the Rainbooms when they realize Sunset doesn't need them. That's something I haven't seen before.:raritywink:

8772472

Well, it's a great credit to your English skills that something as minor as weird comma placement was the worst error I could find. Your writing is already much better than many native English writers on this site. Still, I'd recommend getting a native English speaker to read through it and help you make the sentences more natural if you can

Damn!
Excellent chapter
Interest peaked

8772472

English is not my first language

Could’ve fooled me.

There’s another writer on here doing a good Anon-A-Miss story, and English isn’t their first language either. As with yourself, the only clue is the occasional odd comma placement.

Someone discovered my weakness for Anon-a-Miss stories. This has my attention.

Now, I'm interested. Favorite

I’m curious to see where this is going. Given the lack of certain tags, I’m assuming this won’t be a Sunset at Crystal Prep story, but I wouldn’t mind if I were wrong on that account.

Pretty interesting take on the Anon-A-Miss story. I haven't actually seen it handled this way before. Looking forward to the next chapter!

8772276
That happens afterwards, when their anger has cooled a little.

You know, looking back, the comic isn't actually half bad. Still has issues, but I think too many folks got caught up in their love for Sunset Shimmer to the point where the Rainboom's first rejection of her became this unforgivable betrayal. It's the same mechanism as in Canterlot Wedding, which spawns about as much Accusation Fics raking everyone not named Twilight over the coals.

8772472
Regarding commas: Always put one before the name when characters address one another. That helps avoid misunderstandings. After all, there's a big difference between

"I want to come inside Rainbow Dash!"

and

"I want to come inside, Rainbow Dash!"

She's not weighing going back to Equestria so far. Is that going to change? It feels like an option she should weigh up, even if it's just to dismiss it.

8772151
Like Fluttershy or Pinkie. They're the only two I can think of that would probably question their choice of getting on the 'Let's all blame Sunset and not listen to her' bandwagon.

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