• Published 2nd Mar 2018
  • 2,178 Views, 15 Comments

Pride of the Family - TheOneAJ



What happens when Rainbow Dash’s parents invites her family for dinner?...

  • ...
6
 15
 2,178

Pride of the Family

“No, no, no, NO!!” Scootaloo’s aunt cried as the orange pegasus filly walked inside her house to the smell of smoke. Scootaloo placed her scooter by the door, and sighed.

“What’s for dinner this time, Aunt Lofty?” She called out. “Jasper’s Pizza Pies, or Loung Youngs Tofu again?!”

Her aunt’s blue head popped around the corner through the smoke. “I was thinking, canned spinach!” she glared.

Just then, Scootaloo’s second aunt, a light pink earth pony, walked in. “What the—“ she gawked at the smoke before seeing her marefriend. “So what’s for—“

Lofty held up a knife. “Don’t even!” she threatened.

Scootaloo and Holiday rolled their eyes, giggling.

Lofty lowered her head. “I thought I had it this time.” She looked away from her family. “I just want to be useful!”

“Aw,” Holiday said, bringing her marefriend in for a hug. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. You know that, right?” She kissed Lofty on her forehead.

Lofty’s blushed bright red. “You always know what to say. How do you do that?”

Holiday batted her eyes. “Just talented like that, sweetie.”

They went in for a kiss, while Scootaloo pretend to gag. Seeing as how dinner would be for awhile, the young filly was about to head to her room to get started on her homework. All of the sudden, there was a knock on the door. Scootaloo, being closer to it, decided to answer.

“Hey squirt,” Rainbow Dash smiled at her when the door opened.

“Rainbow Dash!?” Scootaloo said with a jump. She then blinked and tried to act cool. “I mean, what brings you around?”

Rainbow Dash chuckled and ruffled Scootaloo’s mane. “At ease, squirt. Anyways, you free—” her nose wrinkled. “Ugh! Something die in here?”

Lofty cringed. “I can’t be the worst chief in Equestria!”

Holiday giggled. “Well, Ms. Dash, what brings you around?” She let go of Lofty to open some windows. “We were just about to pick out dinner. You’re welcome to stick around.”

“Actually,” Rainbow said, taking a step back out of the house. “It’s my mom and dad’s half anniversary, and they wanted you over for dinner. If that’s alright with you, squirt.”

“Half anniversary?” Scootaloo asked.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Eh, don’t ask me. It was something they stared when I was born. That way they could celebrate with me and family on their half, and on their full without one alone. Anyways, since they consider you my sister, they wanted to know if you’d want to join them for dinner.”

Scootaloo’s eyes lite up. “Really?”

“Yes really!” Rainbow said, giving the filly a noogie.

“That sounds lovely!” Holiday said, sliding over to Rainbow Dash with a huge grin. “We’ll happily bring Scootaloo along.”

Scootaloo’s eyes widened in horror.

“Will there be homemade—?“ Holiday squeaked as Lofty grabbed her tail and pulled her marefriend back.

“Sorry about that!” Lofty said with a mouthful of tail. “We wouldn’t want to intrude or anything,” she added, spitting out out Holiday’s tail.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo chimed in. “I mean, I have homework, and I’m sure—”

Rainbow Dash laughed. “Oh they won’t mind! Mom always bakes too much lasagna for special occasions.”

“Well….” Lofty said, hesitant. “I mean…” her stomach growled. “If you say so!”

Holiday drooled. “Ah! Out first decent, homemade, meal we’ve had in years.”

Lofty snorted. “You’ll be the end of me one day, but what the heck?”

“Love you too, Lofty!” Holiday said, giving her marefriend a kiss on the cheek. “Give us a sec!” she told Rainbow Dash,. The pair then went upstairs to tidy up.

“Okay!” Rainbow waved back as they disappeared upstairs. She then looked to Scootaloo, who seemed oddly content looking at the floor.

“You okay, squirt?”

Scootaloo jumped up. “Eh, yeah, totally!”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I know what’s going on.”

Scootaloo looked around nervously. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Rainbow smiled. “You’re worried the meeting of our two parents will be a disaster! An embarrassment of epic proportions that will destroy the world!” She laughed. “Hey, we’ve survived worse.”

Scootaloo let out a sigh. “Yeah…. Yeah! I guess we have each other!”

Rainbow Dash playfully batted Scootaloo’s shoulder. “That’s my sis! Nothing to worry about.”

Scootaloo smiled. However, when Rainbow Dash turned around, her gaze feel to the floor again.

*****

“I’ll get it!” Wind Whistler said as she went to answer the door. “Oh, girls!” she said, seeing her daughter and Scootaloo. “We were getting worried you wouldn’t make it!”

“Sorry, mom,” Rainbow Dash weakly chuckled. “We had to make a few extra stops to get up here.” Windy was about to ask, when she noticed the two other mares behind her.

“Oh! And who might you fine ladies be?” Windy asked extending her hoof.

Scootaloo held in her breath.

“Oh, I’m Lofty, and this is Holiday.” Lofty said as she shook Windy’s hoof. “We’re Scootaloo’s aunts.”

“Oh that’s lovely!” Windy dropped her hoof and looked behind them. “Is it just you two, or will Scootaloo’s parents be joining us?”

“Actually,” Holiday chimed in, “we look after her. It’s a long story. ,” she sniffed the air and began to drool. “Can we explain over dinner?”

“Oh of course!” Windy said, stepping aside. “Come on in! Foods all sets. My poor little Bow gets cranky when he’s kept waiting.”

“It’s your fault for making such amazing food, honey!” her husband called from the dining room.

“Real food!” Holiday cried as she zoomed past Windy.

Lofty slapped her forehead. “You’ll have to forgive her. She acts like I don’t feed her.”

Windy blew on her tongue. “Oh, I know! Siblings are the worst. But come on! Dinner time!”

Letting out her breath, Scootaloo turned to Rainbow. “Hey, Rainbow Dash?” Scootaloo held back as her aunt squealed beyond the hallway.

“Yeah?”

“... I’m sorry I wasn’t so understanding when your parents were embarrassing.”

Rainbow chuckled and wrapped a wing around her. “Eh, family? Am I right?” The mares smiled and made their way inside.

*****

“Oh!!!!” said Holiday and Lofty as they blissfully ate their meal.

“I take it you girl like my wife’s cooking?” Bow chuckled as he consumed his second piece.

Holiday nodded, on her fifth. “Yes! Real, home cooked, food!”

“I’d complain,” Lofty added with a mouthful of garlic bread. “But yes, it is that good!” She threw her face into more.

Scootaloo’s hooves covered her face while Rainbow Dash playing patted her on the head.

“Mind if you share the recipe?” Lofty asked.

Scootaloo and Holiday’s eyes widened in horror.

“Sure thing.” Windy smiled. “Although, if I may ask again, where are Scootaloo’s parents? Is it really just you two looking after her?”

Holiday looked up from meal. “Oh yeah.” She shallowed, then continued. “My brother and his wife travel a lot, so they figured it would be better if Scootaloo lived with us.” She stabbed another forkful of pasta. “We see them once or twice for special and surprise visit, but it usually just us.” Hoilday poked around at her plate and smiled dreamily. “We’ve know her for so long that the two of us consider her more of our own daughter that a niece.”

“Well that’s awful nice of you two.” Bow Hothoof approved. He then looked to Lofty. “So, you both sisters or cousins?”

“Oh, we’re dating.” Lofty said nonsalauntary after another bite. “Holiday is the one biologically related to Scoots, I’m just the marefriend. We were living together when her brother suggested she move in. I admit it took some getting use to, but I would take any of that time back for the world.”

Hoilday blished and giggled. “Oh, you!”

Scootaloo smiled, but the looked up in time to see Rainbow’s parents shocked expressions.

“Oh!” Windy smiled. “That’s great.” However, there was a hint of... Something in that smile which put Scootaloo off. They were smile she had seen many times before. When ponies found out about her aunts...

“Yeah,” Bow added, “I mean, you don’t see any reason- I mean, you both look great!”

They went back to eating, only this time in silence. An awkward silence. Scootaloo, meanwhile, was feeling a little less hungry as she held her fork.

Finally Lofty commented, “So I take it you two have never seen a gay couple before?”

Both Windy and Bow coughed on their food.

“Oh! What? No!” Windy said. “No no! Why wouldn’t we have? It’s just… This the first time we’ve met a pair. Not that we wouldn’t think your kind exist!”

Scootaloo gripped her fork tighter.

“Yeah, it’s cool!” Bow added with a grunt, pounding his chest. “Thought… Which of you would be the stallion then?”

With that, Scootaloo threw her fork onto the table. She then stood up from the table, screamed, and stormed out. The door to the house slamming shut behind her.

Rainbow Dash wasted no time taking off. But not before she looked to her own parents. Unable to form words, she simply glared at them, then raced after Scootaloo.

*****

“Squirt!” Rainbow Dash cried out.

“Over here,” Scootaloo answered, her voice low.

Rainbow Dash let out a sigh. Happy to see Scootaloo sitting on the edge of a cloud instead of off of it. That relief, however, switched to empathy as she sat down next to the orange filly. The night sky lying out before them.

“Hey, i’m sorry about what happened back there.” she kicked a tuft of cloud. “I wouldn’t have thought my folks would have any problems with your aunts.”

Scootaloo let out a sigh. “Yeah, that’s what I always think.”

Rainbow Dash cocked her head. “Really?” she snorted. “Somepony say something mean to you?!”

Scootaloo lowered her head. “Nopony. They don’t need to say anything. It’s how they act that gets on my nerves.”

Rainbow Dash’s ears feel back. “Wow, kid, I… I didn’t know.”

“Well I didn’t want you to know!” Scootaloo snapped. “Why do you think it took me years to invite you or my friends over? I was afraid! I’m!...” she blinked. “I’m not ashamed or anything.” She relaxed and feel back into the cloud.

Rainbow Dash smiled. “You just really care about them?”

Scootaloo blew on a piece of cloud. “Yeah.”

Rainbow Dash pulled her into a hug with her wings. “Well good for you. Actually, I have to give you credit for not bucking my parents in the face. I know I would if anyone called my old man gay!”

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes.

“Okay, okay!... Still, I’m sorry about all that, sis.” She pulled Scootaloo under her wing for a hug.

Scootaloo giggled. “I know, I know!” She frowned.

Rainbow Dash lowered her ears. “Listen, I... Don’t think my parents meant to come across as offensive. They’re just… old-fashioned.” She stood up from the cloud. “Still, Maybe we should at least head back inside? Just to let everypony know you’re okay. It’s getting cold out here.”

Scootaloo shivered as a cold breeze blew past. “Yeah…”

Rainbow Dash stood up. “Come on, squirt. I’ll have a word with my folks. And if they have any problems, i’ll take you and your aunts to Jasper’s for a cookie pizza!”

“Okay,” Scootaloo nodded, with little enthusiasm.

Rainbow Dash lifted her chin. “Hey, don’t worry, sis, everything will be alright.”

Taking a deep breath, and Rainbow’s hoof, Scootaloo followed her big sister back inside.

Once there, they were greeted with the sound of… laughter? Confused, the pair stepped inside and walked in just as Holiday finished;

“...and that’s how we learned never to wear green in Las Pegasus after Arbor Day.”

They laughed again, save for Lofty, who was blushing profusely. However, she also cracked a smile.

“Oh please,” Bow said, “when we went to… girls!” All eyes were immediately drawn towards Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo.

“Um… hey,” Scootaloo offered, her face turned away.

“Oh, Scoots, are you alright?!” Windy flew over. “We’re so sorry about all of that!”

“You seemed to have gotten over it rather fast.” Rainbow added, her voice harsh.

“Now, now!” Holiday interjected. “We’ve dealt with worse. They apologized, so i don’t see any reason to be upset.”

Scootaloo looked up. “It isn’t?”

“No,” Holiday assured. “It isn’t, we assure you, Scoot’s.”

Bow frowned. “Yes, and I’m sorry about what I said. I’ll work on it. If you gal’s still want to stick around for dinner.”

Scootaloo perked up. “Really?”

Windy smiled. “Of course. You’re like family to us. Family doesn't just turn family away. Even if some of the things they do are a little odd. They love them for who they are, no matter what they do.”

“Like the time you broke the weather factory with your singing?” Bow asked.

“Yes, just like I— Hey!” Windy pouted.

“No, no!” Lofty eagerly grinned. “Tell us more.”

“Well,” Bow started over his wife’s venomous stare, “my wife here had just bought some opera albums…”

As they talked, Scootaloo felt a nudge at her side. She looked up to her sister, who in turn gave a reassuring smile. With a confident nod, the two rejoined their parents at the dinner for a night of embarrassing fun, not too soon forgotten.

Author's Note:

Comment on anything you would change. Don’t have time for any big alteration, but any small details you can point out would be appreciated.
Notes from this year’s pre-readers will be in the comments next week.

Comments ( 15 )

Very nice! It’s kinda strange if you haven’t anything against gay couples but still feel awkward about it. If you don’t mind, a little error I found

Well good for you. Actually, O have to give you credit for not bucking my parents in the face

THe same also happens to me a lot.

This could definitely benefit from some self-editing, but it's really enjoyable! In terms of plot, I wouldn't change anything. Just fix the grammar up a bit, make it prettier, stuff like that.

8770584
Thank you very much, change made

8770584
Thank you :)
If you have time, feel free to point these errors out and I will fix them

if you go to Jasper's make sure you order the PIZZA-REMUS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Peo17JhM9o

8770584
The first encounter with a gay couple will always be awkward, it's the nature of the beast. It's hard to know what's OK to ask, or the proper way to ask. Bow and Windy where likely more worried about offending Lofty and Holiday more than anything.

I like the story

Notes From The Pre-Readers

So another fic has come and gone. As always, some of my friends and pre-readers leave notes in the google docs or elsewhere on what to do. Ever since Button’s Date, I’ve made a tradition of posting those notes in the comment section of each story for two reasons;
The first is for fun for fans like you who are curious enough to care, and the second is when I have to delete the rough draft to make room for the next story, I can look back on their notes both to learn from, and look back on.
This is what they had to say;

Crowley
pegusi” with “pegasus”
"pegasi" is plural, as in more than one. Since Scootaloo is only one pegasus, it does not apply.

“What’s for diner? Jasper’s Pizza Pies, or Loung Youngs Tofu?”

Crowley
I have no idea what this is.

Me
suppose to be a Chinese restaurant, but flat on horse puns for that :(

“At Ease!”

Sparky
consider rewording. Maybe use calm or cool instead?

“, but smiled”

Sparkle Chord
Rainbow Dash is already stated to be smiling. No need to mention it twice c:

“Actually,” Rainbow said, taking a step back out of the house. “It’s my dad’s birthday today (open to some other event). And they wanted you over for dinner if that’s alright, squirt.”

Sparky
Don’t forget to delete this xD

“Yeah, i guess we have together...”

Sparky
did you mean eachother?

Yes -_- only it’s, each other, space ;p

Wand Whistler

Sparky
wasn't her name Wind Whistler?

Me
Yes -_-

The hardest part to write was Rainbow’s parents acting rasiest, and even wrote this in the google doc to motivae me;

Trouble planing how to play this out; RD’s parents don’t want to be prejudice, they really don’t want to be. However, their additives reflect what they’re use to. Comes to full after something accidentally offensive is said. Scootaloo storms off, dash scolded her parents and fallows. Some heart to heart between the two sister, go back in, where the parents apologized to each other and explain it’s not what they’re use to but have problems with Scootaloos aunts. All is happy ^^
Help me figure out how to pull that off! >.>

This was Crowley response;

Idea: Windy is uneasy but ultimately tolerant with it, but Bow Hothoof (RD's Dad) asks a question too many. Here's a list of questions that might offend lesbian couples if talk about too often: https://www.salon.com/2013/09/25/10_things_not_to_say_to_a_lesbian_partner/
Make Bow Hothoof ask too many of those questions (not offensively, just out of dumb curiosity) and have one of the questions touch a nerve.

Me
ALRIGHT! Something to work with! :3

I also added;

Well… here goes m atemp 9remenber what your masters have taugth you, NO fear for a first draft, just WRITE!

Crowly
are you drunk?

me
no just getting over writers block... which is almost the same thing XD

Finally Lofty commented, “So I take it you two have never seen a gay couple before?”

Both Windy and Bow coughed on their food.

“Oh, what, no!” Windy said. “No no! Why wouldn’t we be? Just the… the first time we’ve met a pair. Not that we wouldn’t think your kind exist.”

Sparky
This section doesn't really make sense. It sounds like Windy is answering an entirely different question than the one that was asked.

Then, perhaps worried he sounded offensive,

Sparky
consider rewording. It's better to avoid pointing out exactly what someone is thinking if at all possible. Try to make it subtle.

Scootaloo threw her fork across the table

Sparky
it seems a bit odd that this question would upset Scootaloo enough to throw a fork. It makes sense that she'd be upset, but throwing utensils seems a bit too violent for the situation. Maybe have her just stand up and yell something instead?

To who it concerns, agree?

“I didn’t want me to judge like everypony dose. They don’t say it, but they don’t have too.”

Crowly
I tried to amend this to say something else, but then it occurred to me that I have no idea what you're trying to say in the first place, here.

me
i'll rethink it once i write in the scene before it

Scootaloo Deadpaned her eyes

Sparky
what exactly is 'deadpanning' at someone? Can you think of any other words that might describe what you're trying to convey here?

“I’m sure if we go back and talk to them, everything will be alright.”

Scootaloo softened. “Yeah…”

Sparky
this reads slightly awkwardly. It seems kinda odd for Rainbow to assume going inside will make everything okay? Maybe have her suggest talking to them instead.

“...and that’s how we learned never to wear green in Las Pegasus after Arbor Day.”

Crowly
I think you meant "wear green", but I'm not so sure.

Rainbow added, her voice ______.....

Crowly
Icey?

Sparky
Edgy voice??

me
one says no to icey is bad, now edgy... stupid month !

The stories resloution;

Crowley
How dare they settle their differences peacefully! >:(
But seriously, why an icy voice? Shouldn't it be more... confused?

Eh, it’s a short story I found myself time cruched in, but this was still the orginal way I wanted to go. Knowing some people have racial instincs, and once it’s off their chest and can admit they do harbor those feelings, and that it’s worng, they can move on.

“Like the time you broke the weather factory with your singing?

Sparky
how did she break the entire factory by singing?

me
insert opera singer in notes from the pre-readers

https://goo.gl/images/A7tUfD

Sparky
Who is Hothoof?

me
her dad, just have trouble remenberingg how it's spelled ^^"

yeah, was a huge pain throughout this ^^’

…’Bow’ started over his wife….

Sparky
-_-

Me
*pats your head*

Most of Sparkel Chords comments were suggesting I re-word certain sentences. This section is for the sentences she say I re-word to look back on later.

-How do you always know how to lighten me up? (saving for notes from the pre-readers)

-“You’re worried the combination of our two parents meeting will cause a disaster of embarrassment that will destroy the world!”

Also, she said this was a run-on

-Or unrelated and live together to help support your niece if I may ask?

Another run on

-However, there was a hint of... Something in that smile that but Scootaloo off. They were smile she had seen many times before, when ponies found out about her aunts..

-Rainbow Dash let out a sigh to see she was sitting on the edge of a cloud instead of off of it.

Also run on

-“Now, now!” Holiday interjected. “It’s not like we don’t deal with ponies who are new to our way of life all the time.”

-And family doesn't just turn family away, and loves them for who they are… Even if some of the things they do are a little odd, but perfectly acceptable!”

And of course, run on ^^’ Crowly is going to not let me live down starting a sentence with And after saying it was a pet peevee when I edited his fic OwO

-She looked up to her idol, friend, and best sister ever, giving a reassuring smile

Last one from her, and she added this for me to relfect on in the future;

consider rewording. Try using just one of the 3 adjectives used to describe Rainbow here?

Lastly, her final thoughts;

The story is cute and heartfelt overall, but it feels a bit rushed and convoluted. Some of the plot points seem rushed over, and I'd recommend putting a little more focus on the tension instead of simply brushing over it. I like the idea behind it though, and you did a lovely job of writing it c:

And for being a good friend/fandom daughter, she get’s to go to Jasper Pie’s for dinner! ^^


What Midnight said of my first draft;

i have three suggestions ^^ first describe rainbows parents when they first come in to the story.
second. perhaps have Scootaloo talk about an experience of her over hearing someone talking about her aunts that maybe made her be more hesident to bring ponies to meet her aunts.
third read over your story carfuly and make sure that things are spelt right ^^

the other suggestions your friend made I agree with :P so other than those looks good ^^

That’s all we have for this story. If I missed anything I’ll add it later, but thank you all for reading and I hope this was worth your time.

Great work! Liked the awkward tension springing from ignorance. I even like that Dash slips up a bit when talking to Scootaloo. I featured this on episode 214 of my podcast, Pony 411.

8792037
Thanks :) though I’d hardly call this one of my better works I appreciate any kind of attention ^^’

Pretty cute story, I'd love to see them meet in canon!

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