• Member Since 26th Sep, 2017
  • online


I'm blind and I like ponies


My name is Sweetie Belle, all I ever wanted in life was to be like my big sister Rarity, make friends, and get my cutiemark. Sadly for me, none of these things will ever happen in a very, very long time.

You see, in order for me to tell you on how I came to your world, I have to tell you about one of the most fearsome wars in human history, and the secrets it hid.

I would like to give a big thanks to Stonecreek for editing this. Really nice guy.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Well... tgis surely caught my interest.
Aside from a few errors i saw, this is very well written.

I eagerly look forward for more, sir/lady

Thank you, also, what errors? I'd like to fix them.

WW2? WW3? The Persian-Roman war? WHICH WAR!!!

Don't forget that reply button. I know you two have an off-and-on relationship at times :raritywink:

I might have found some of the one's he was talking about:

I immediotly backpedalled as far as I could, ending with my back hitting the wall behind me.

Immediately is how it's spelled. I caught it a few other times throughout the chapter, too. And I think backpedaled only has one L (maybe).

The room was now covered with a thick layer of dust, and small bits of dabree struned all around.

It's spelled debris. And... I'm not sure what the word after that is :twilightblush: Did you mean "strewed" or "strewn"?

but they looked a little diffrant from the ones before.

Spelled different.

"I'm sorry, Andrews", one of the creatures said in a simpathedic voice.

Spelled sympathetic.

"Can you move?" He asked in a ferm voice.

Spelled firm.

Big, sqwear shaped, and loud.

I think square is the word you're looking for, boss.

But hey, this was pretty good otherwise. I liked the bit of panic Sweetie fell into at times. I'll have to keep an eye on this one :twilightsmile:
Keep up the good work, man!

I believe it's world war 2.

But do you really know though... it could be the Spanish civil war, the Cold War, the Trump protestation wars of 2016, the many chinese civil wars, the mongolian-chinese war, the German-Poland-Russian war! THERE ARE TO MANY WARS!!!

No, he's right, it's ww2

Thanks, I hate being a finedic speller. Not to mention the voiceover makes everything sound the same.

It’s a good start, the spelling is a little off but the other comment already said the things that were wrong, if there were any more I was reading too fast to notice.

I will say though that it would probably be best if you replaced the sound of gunshots from a ‘pop’ to a ‘bang’ or something of that nature since gunshots are loud. Seriously, most guns can prouduce a sound louder than 160 decibels, and 140 decibels is enough to permanently damage hearing. That’s louder than a jet engine which is about 120-130 decibels.

The story did say

red background, with a white circle and a crooked black x in the middle.

Which is the nazi flag.

As well as

somekind of neckless, with two triangles that made a star shape.

Which is the Star of David

So it’s a nazi controlled building, with a Jew being killed. So while it wasn’t explicitly stated, there is enough evidence to gather that it is WW2. But I guess it may not be so obvious st first glance.

Thanks for the advice, man. I'll keep that in mind.

But, I did think your little banter was kinda funny.

I haven't actually read the story yet, too busy

Everyone has there own version of hell, mine being going back to a state of mental collapse I felt when I was younger, I was in hell everytime I saw or heard something that wasn't actually there

Huh? But... the way you... what?:applejackconfused:

Well... that just gave me nightmares.

Okay, pretty good so far, can't wait for more

Great start. Looks promising.

I am taking it upon myself to beta this, because I love alternate WWII fics (in any fandom).

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