Stupid Map Table Magic Thingy

by Hillbe

In the Name of Science

In the Name of Science!

The castles pantry was laying in wait, shelves bare of provisions and at the ready for the freshly delivered towering pile of colorful bottles, jars, tins, cans, boxes, bags and shrink wrapped goods of various sizes to be organized and stored on all the naked shelves. Oh, the naked and natural pony. Spikes mind wondered as his claws acted on their own stacking and placing the plethora of munchies on long empty shelves. "Oh Spikey that just feels divine!" as his claws brushed her cutie marks bringing moans of pleasure from the mare of his dreams. The provisions slowly grew in mass as his thoughts continued of an earlier romantic evening "Harder faster please precious yes, Yes, YES!!!" his claws cramped up holding a cucumber bunch as his daydream continued "Oh Spikey Wikey" as the mumbling mare let out a mighty snore, brushed and relaxed after a long hard day at dressmaking.
Spike waddled and stretched his wings picking up a warm fuzzy blanket from the dresser, He returned slowly strategizing on how he could cover a mare in her delicate position, Her muzzle mashed into the pillow and her rump high in the air with her front hooves crossed under her neck. He looked at that wonder of wonders curling up to the ceiling, Spike knew when a mare gets turned on that silly tail was sure to flag the world of stallions that she was willing ready and able! "Whoa, She really likes being brushed". Spike flapped his wings and sloppily hovered lightly gripping the curly strands of pure silky delight. "Okay, big guy, you got this" he pulled down on the ponut lever wanting her body to follow it down to the sheets below but all he got rewarded with was a loud "PPPPPhhhhhhhrrraaaapppppppp piddle pop pop Freep!" Spike gasped and held his breath thinking of that old joke with that old curmudgeon at the park pestering his grand foals by saying "Pull my hoof!"

His rapid decent was arrested as he forced down her tail but his much needed concentration was lost like any breathable air remaining in his lungs, thank the stars that he didn't sneeze as the combustible gasses would of wrecked any thoughts any snuggling. Spike squeezed his eyes in concentration and "SPRONG!" Her naturally curly fashion accessary sprang back like a flag pole in a parade. Any idea of a soft landing expired as precious scales sailed through the air. He watched the collide-oscope of crystal colors corroborate his coming collision. Spike winced as the thought of his being smashed like a bug on a wall brought him back to the task at hand. Stocking the pantry. Our extremely brave hero of the crystal empire grasped the next lot of containers reading the ornate labels he let out a gasp and stared at the contents listed "Formula Foal" A natural well rounded nutritional supplement for growing healthy foals of all types, Earth, Pegasus and Unicorn foals...foals; foals! The pantry started spinning, faster and faster then his world went black, quiet and black "Thud".

"Spike? Spike wake up" Twilights voice welcomed the dragon to the waking world " Spike are you okay?" His shaking the cobwebs from his noodle answered his... his sister? mother? master? Princess? question? "Ah Twilight?" Spike had a single odd question "I was wondering if I" he stammered thinking of the cans of foal formula "I was thinking" he continued with a nervous chuckle "Is it possible for ponies and dragons to you know..." Spike went all out scientific "can they have foals?" He slapped both claws over his mouth squinting his eyes thinking THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST STUPID QUESTION LIKE IN FOREVER!

In a blazing flash of teleportation magic Twilight had her number one assistant laying on an examining table with every modern investigative device strapped to his body. The basement laboratory slash torcher chamber was alive with specimens and vials and beakers and dishes and stirrers and pipettes and incubators and sonicators and homogenizers and vortexers and spectrophotometers. Spike looked around seeing all the wasted bits in Twilights hobby obsession whatever, Turning his eyes right he caught a sight that made his eyes bug out of his purple head "Twilight! What's Rarity doing here?" "Darling, I was just going to ask that very same question, Twilight dear why are we here? you know it's rather rude to teleport anypony without some sort of notice" Rarity looked at her predicament seeing that both she and the dragon were lashed down to their respective tables. Twilight was busying herself with the typical mad scientist things like in Shining Armors comic books, monologing between maniacal laughter as lightning cracked through the basement windows on a crystal clear day.

Fluttershy was dressed in a nurses uniform answering to Twilights summon for an expert on endangered species, her thermometer melted as she read the numbers "Well duh I'm a fire breathing dragon!" Flutterbutter eyed him like any good nurse with the bedside manors of worn out sandpaper "Then maybe I should stick it in your bottom end, would that be colder if you don't mind that is?" Nurse Shy blushed "It is a cute little tooshy, I can see why Rarity likes it".
Spike just squirmed as Rarity spoke up "I would prefer it if our tooshies were freed my dearest Fluttershy". Spike looked at Miss marsh mellow as her temperature was taken "Rarity, I'm sorry I couldn't give you that romantic getaway like you've always dreamed of, looks like we're at Twilights mercy, I've never seen her like this, ever".
Fluttershy hummed as she spoke "That's alright Spike you'll be released just as soon as Twilight breeds you two like cute little bunnies!". Raritys mane bristled as she heard the news "Fluttershy you know this lady wishes to be romanced courted and swept off her hooves, Not bred like one of Applejacks barnyard animals". Spike whimpered "I sort of like the old fashioned way too". Shy took a glass and half filled it with water and let Rarity have a sip the turned to Spike to do the same when Spike asked "Can you loosen these so I can better hold the glass so you can tend to other stuff". Flutters thought for a minute "I guess so you're not going anywhere without her". She loosened the strap a bit and handed Spike the glass to where he whispered into her nearest ear. Rarity watched them both wishing to be anywhere else but when Flutterbutters wings popped up under her uniform trapping her with a "Meep"? and an "Oh My!" Spike raced to Raritys straps "Precious scales how'd you undo your straps so quickly!" "Hair brushes with opposable thumbs!" her release from the straps was instant and they galloped, waddled and stumbled from the basement as Twilight freed Fluttershy from her fabric prison "Oh drat I wasn't finished I wanted to surprise them". "I think you already did" Fluttershy giggled.

After the escapees saw that the mad doctor didn't follow their pace slowed to a trot out through the castles gates "Spike what did you whisper to dear Fluttershy to get such a reaction?" Spikey Wikey blushed as he told her what really went on with Discords little tea parties with the shy Pegasus mare that would inspire even the most deviant Angel Bunny.

The Carousel Boutiques back room was dark and quiet as Spike and Rarity gathered and prepared a little lunch with a little cheese n wine. A little relaxing as they reflected on what a weird morning they had from Twilights little flirt with insanity to Raritys little gossip tidbit for her next spa trip with thee Fluttershy the deviant, Spike was feeling quite lucky and after cleaning up picked up Rarity sweeping her off her hooves bridal style. He kissed her cheek looking deeply in her eyes she leaned in for a kiss as Spike turned a cheek to her, Rarity placed her hooves to either side of his head and planted a kiss square on the surprised dragons snoot! Spike was enraptured in her gaze as they waddled up the stares to her inner sanctum the bed awaited for that romantic union only two special ponies can ever wish for. Except Pinkie, she demand cakes whipped cream and cookies with her guys, Spike laid his mare down softly on the bed anticipating that long awaited good stuff! As the two shared a kiss the sheets and blankets ruffled and moved on their own, Startling all who witnessed the haunting Spike and Rarity leaped off to get ready for anything. The ruffling continued until a set of ears popped up to spy the area then a second set joined them. White kitty ears with a pink bow and a long set of bunny ears. "So that's where my babys been, Come to mommy!" Rarity cooed at her Opal kitty but the ears froze nervous at their discovery "Opal baby what's wrong?" Spike pulled back the covers to find "Ewww what a mess!" Rarity shrieked recoiling at the sight as Spike gasped watching Angel Bunny thrusting his hips as Opal smiled a very contented grin at all of Equestria. Raritys magical mist enveloped a dust broom "Scat! SCAT! Wait till I get my hooves on you!" Spike dodged the attack as Angel blew raspberries hopping through out the boutique Spike winced with every crash boom and falling dress form as his fashionable banshee unleashed hell at the fleeing Casanova Bunny who defiled her Baby Snookims. Spike could only look down at his fair ladys puss "Well I hope you think it's worth it" He place his claw between his eyes and let out a breath "We're not going to hear the end of it".

Twilights and Fluttershys cutie marks flashed as the same circled over the map hovering over the Carousel Boutique "Come on Fluttershy I wonder what is needed at Raritys place? I bet Spike needs one of my super duper lectures on the birds and the bees!"

Comments

[jw278]

thanks for the new chap :)