• Member Since 17th Apr, 2017
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago


Oh. Five years?

Comments ( 5 )

I like it, but something in it doesn't quite gel with me and I can't quite figure out what.

Your tag says this is complete. But I think you have something here that could really be expanded upon.

I understand that Poul Anderson wrote a short story about life in an underwater colony, and years later it formed the basis for his novel "the Merman's Children."

Perhaps you might do something similar? It would be quite something to read some of the individual stories alluded to in this, and then Twilight's awakening and eventual transformation.

No hurry, of course, if you do; one can't rush art. And no need if you don't. It's just a thought. :twilightsmile:

Really interesting premise, but it began to rush as the story developed. The ending was quite lackluster, I've got to say. Still, it has potential.

I really liked this one. A good amount of world building, and it has a 'reincarnation' feel to it. The two pupils who had first arrived seemed a lot like they were Twilight willing herself to study, even if it was coincidental that they share the first name. Poor, Spike; he had to rest alone for so long and only occasionally did he have somepony from the outside world to spend time with... then again, he has a much longer life span.

The premise was interesting and I'd love to see more of it; I also feel that this should be expanded upon -- the entire story was told, yes, but I would just like to see more to it. Get more from each generation, see the spells and research that they discovered, and find out what happened after Alicornhood was found -- beyond that there became many. I'd like to know more about the war and exactly how it affected the world around them; to find if it had any lasting effects, and what led the two to begin the war.

The unicorn was a pale orange...

Starlight got Sunburst in this timeline? :rainbowlaugh:

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