• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

An Intricate Disguise


Selling out has never felt so dirty.

Comments ( 59 )

Well, this is new.
A fic with Thunderlane in and he isn't a rapist? It's a holiday miracle :rainbowlaugh:

TFW you can see Celestia's magic on Twilight's butt. :trollestia:

Is it bad if I want a sequel? It was funny and awesome.

looking pretty good

Great story.

It took Twilight roughly half a second of thought to come up with an honest answer to that. "Please do something like that again."

Twilight? You mean "me"?

XD

Sorry, I'm a grammar nazi
I really enjoyed this story! I hope to see more work like this from you in the future, it was a fun and fucking awesome story.

8757583
I am worst author. Inglish not work. Fix now. Thnxx! (In all honesty though, dude, thanks very much for the catch! Glad you enjoyed the story!)

8757619
Of course! It was an enjoyable read! (We all make mistakes as authors sometimes :rainbowlaugh:)

I would hit my invisible girlfriend with the fan but I'm scared my dad will find out kay bye.

8757442
#NotAllThunderlanes

Besides, it's not a Camel story. And you could argue that she *didn't* give informed consent, if it makes you feel better. :-p

I can see this getting featured like, real soon!

8757490
It's very, VERY subtle but if you look super closely it's there.

I only have two things to say about this story:

1. I am VERY pissed that I never came up with this idea myself. Exhibitionism and stealth sex is a huge kink of mine, and I hate that the idea of invisibility never came to me (no pun intended).

2. Hole. Lee. CRAP! This fic was really well done! I might be gay as fuck, but this story still got me harder than a Battletoads level. Nicely done~

I just said that out loud, didn't I?

Calling it now, before I read further. Everyone already knows and they're all filthy perverts too.

there weren't any foals in the audience

Just get ready to call me Sherlock...

Crap. Oh well, I can play detective some other time. This was pretty good. And wow, Twi tryna save her speech was hilarious.
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One of his hooves was circling my belly as he kissed on my neck, nibbling down to my collarbones and across to my withers before trailing his way back with his tongue, small, teasing, and repetitive motions offset by the switching of his hoof's rhythm, throwing everything out of whack even as it fell into place, identical but different.

Holy run on sentence Batman! (Also delete the "on" that I struckthrough)

parents took me to the fare!"

cornerstones of the fare is

history of the fare.

fair

Oh, if only these ponies realised the irony.

Definitely not irony. Can't think of the word, but it's related...
Ugh.

Speaking of barrels..... ever heard of barrel sex?

Ha, love this idea and I can't believe this idea hasn't become more widely explored! Cheers mate

Oh please let me do an audio reading of this~

8758464
You've got full permission from me! Thanks very much for the interest.

You need a comedy tag!!! this is amazing

Top Notch shit right here! Really well written. So much so that I look to my stories in shame! Great Job :rainbowlaugh:

While Twilight seems to be a bit out of character in parts (might just be me), I still enjoyed this story. I might have to make something with the whole invisibility spell myself one day.

Is it possible if you can make the story how twilight and thunderlane came together. Like your story by the way.

8759504
I love stories about ponies cumming together.

this was a great read and I always love Thundertwilight shipping, I hope you will make more with them in the future.

60% percent of the fic is just setting up the action, which is the subsequent 40%. It should be the opposite for porn, but from a character perspective, the beginning was the best part.

As for the sex itself, it really doesn't deep like it delivers. The saves are clever. But the act itself feels unfulfilled. I'm unsure how further you could have taken the action, but it feels it doesn't hit all its marks.

The prose, of course, is great.

jz1

I really like the casual way Twilight and Thunderlane discuss their sex life. It’s something that’s not normally seen in clopfics.

I could never get my mind around that handsome prick

As in the stallion himself, or his organ?

Bruh, your stories are classics, You are a G, You are Big Ass Spider CERTIFIED

The only thing 'wrong' here is the pairing, not really sure why it bothers me but it does.:twilightsheepish:
The story was great though like all of yours are.:twilightsmile:

And when she gets back she gives him a good taste of an orgasm denial spell. Turn about is fair play. Still this was a hot piece, exhibitionism is always one of the finer spices of clop.

That was super good!

Twilight and Thunderlane? It’s a moderately crack ship, but you made it work. I like your interpretation of him!

Also, imagining the expressions on Twilight’s face while she was trying to maintain her composure cracked me up. :twilightsmile:

8761803
NANI

I want that certification!

"C-considering the occasion, I thought I'd start things off with a bang!" Oh, if only these ponies realised the irony.

OMG, I LOVE THIS! :rainbowlaugh: keep up the puns! :derpytongue2:

we need more stores like this

This be some good shit ere’ matey! Keep it up!

You sure seemed to use the word "fare" instead of "fair" plenty of times.

"Heh, try it later?" Thunderlane said, the beginning of a devious smirk on his lips. "I've got a few thoughts on how I could liven up the fare."

"S-so, when I was a foal..." I was coming up with complete bullshit on the spot but what the hell else was I meant to do when Thunder was rubbing and flicking against my swollen clit like that, teasing me so much? "I— ohgosh —my parents took me to the fare!"

"One of the cornerstones of the fare is relations between the many villages and towns that make up Equestria, and as such..."

He climbed over me, nearing my ear, whispering to me one last time. "Now I'll hand things over to Princess Celestia, who has prepared a speech on the history of the fare."

Also, as for these parts:

"This is all, uhh, proof that Equestria has developed a lot over the last few generations, and—oh, fuck that feels good."

...shit. I just said that out loud, didn't I? "Uhmmm," I panicked, my legs still quaking as Thunderlane refused to relent, though I could swear I could feel his grin pressed between my hind legs. "It feels good knowing that we've developed so much! We should all be proud!"

Everyone clapped and cheered. Seriously? Was it that easy to get away with fucking your coltfriend on stage?

"S-so yeah," I said with a reddened face, my breath quickening, "I want you to all take a moment to thank yourselves! Shit, I've said that already, haven't I?"

I glanced away to see a harsh glare from Princess Luna. I really needed to stop swearing on stage.

LOL! Seriously, lol. I cannot state the lols strongly enough.

Also, holy goddamn fucking shit from a tight cunt-bitch asshole, Twilight sure seems to be a potty mouth. I wonder what Celesita and/or Luna will have to say about her speech when this is all over. Somehow I get the feeling Luna knew exactly what was happening on stage. I'll bet that she had some kind of counter-spell, allowing her to see Thunderlane's... activities.

"You haven't blown me since this morning!"

Bad Twilight!

Alright, alright, I'll start giving you more spontaneous blowjobs

That's better.

I've gotta go up there in a minute and be professional, not thinking about all of the sex I could be having if I wasn't stuck here being boring.

Nah, reconsider your priorities, Twi.

I couldn't decide whether he was a shitbag or a genius, but my aching pussy seemed to be of the firm opinion that it was the latter, and the pleasure rushing through my body as he sensually ate me out didn't lie either.

The readers would agree, too.

"Don't you dare pull out... your brochures just yet, because there's more to come!" Okay, that was a really good save. Did I always think this quickly when I was about to be pumped full of cum?

Remember that for next time you have a deadline.

Good story!
Will there be an revenge-fic or something like that later?

"This is all, uhh, proof that Equestria has developed a lot over the last few generations, and—oh, fuck that feels good."

*UNHOLY SCREAMING*

The story was juicy! It was so juicy and also a bit funny. Enjoyed reading it on the stream!

"Mmh... I should really be practising,"

This should be "Practicing" not "Practising.

8865063
Maybe try looking up words before you go "correcting" people? http://www.future-perfect.co.uk/grammar-tip/is-it-practise-or-practice/

8904924

Aww, I'm sure they meant well though. :fluttercry:

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