Prologue: AKA starting a tale
Prologue: AKA starting a tale
Tartarus. The prison of demons, ancient evils and other no-do-gooders. It has everything you would need: chains & shackles, no warm meals, stony floor for a bed and almost no company to talk with. And it also has been my home for a looong time. No idea how long though. Could have been month's, maybe weeks or multiple years.
You cant really count days when there is no sun-rise or sun-set in here, due to this place being underground somewhere. And I was also asleep plenty during my stay here. In a way doing that helps to pass the time. Also it is somewhat hard to see this place as a prison, when THE ONLY some kinda warden is a big three-headed dog. This place is more like a dumping place to send those that do not meet some arbitrary criteria of somepony sitting on their ample white, cake filled, arse in high place. In my case it also had something to do with killing somepony by accident in self defence.
Ah, look at me. Rambling on without even introducing myself. Hello, my name is Naja... There, introduction done... Oh right, and i also have humongous purplish serpent body from waist down, aand six arms which are all chained up. To summarize my appearance in short, I look like marilith from final fantasy series. Specifically the one from fifteenth installments anime movie thingy, which by the way is pretty nice piece of animation.
Yep, I used to be a human once. So how on earth did I end up in this place in a body of fictional monster? Well apparently same way as some other's... By being in a wrong place at the wrong time I think. Guess I better recap, maybe by starting from the beginning, from the day my old life seemingly disappeared... In flashback...
???? year's ago somewhere...
Another dull day at work behind, another evening at internet cafe's window booth. Sure I could have just gone home and burn the web there, but this place has really good bagels served for customer's for free. Kinda good way to get client's.
While eating some of that free snack, I check some random videos, mostly about Final fantasy and colorful cartoon ponies. Also known as MLP. Watching both of those thing's is kinda meditation to me, aside of actual meditation I occasionally practice. But now I'm doing one of those dumb questionnaire-test things, because why not? And the result is... "Everybody loves Cthulhu"? Well this did not make much sense like some other's of it's kin.
Next thing I hear is a truck horn blaring somewhere near, making me glance at window. Only to see out-of-control sixteen-wheeler coming right at the cafe, before everything goes black...
'Ooow, my head is killing me...' was all I could think while regaining my consciousness. At the same time I noticed that I was laying on grass. Is this afterlife or something? Soon I notice that I'm in some forest, or I think I am since there are trees around me. They also seem bit smaller than I remember trees being normally.
Pretty soon I try to get up, still feeling quite dizzy. It was then when I noticed that I had four extra arm's pushing me up, taking all of them in front of me so I can see them... Yep, six bluish arms total with five finger's each. Looking up I notice six sword's before me, stabbed at the ground, all of them similar to the FFXV's anime marilith had.
Then I made mistake of looking behind me. There wasn't anyone there... Just a hugeish purple snake tail with darker purple pattern on it. And it was attached to my waist, seemingly replacing my legs.
"Ok... Just stay calm... You just seemingly got turned into some fantasy-creature from video-game and transported who know's where. No biggie, heheh..." I managed to say to myself, with slightly increasing volume, only to hear that my voice sounded deeper and more like a feral groaning and grunting sounds.
Eye twitch... Deep calming inhaling... -Aand then I screamed from the top my lung's. Even scared plenty of bird's into flight somewhere nearby. So yeah, that's how my new life started out.
Somewhere nearby...
Loud scream-like sound echoed somewhere, reaching ears of an certain young unicorn stallion with a goatee, who was cataloging and sketching some of the local plant's in simple journal. The sound did catch his attention quite well.
"Hmm... I wonder what that might be? Did not sound like manticore or hydra." young Starswirl The Bearded muttered to himself, while looking at the direction of nearby forest... And then heading toward's it.
Back in un-named forest somewhere...
Amazing how stress or sometimes shock can sometimes dissipate quite fast when you just loudly scream your lungs empty. After I managed to calm myself down and somewhat strangely quickly coming to terms with my new body, I went on to pick up the swords, which seem to be now real one's, and, after testing, sharp enough to fell a tree. The weird thing is, I have never actually used an actual sword, not to mention six at the same time. I guess my body had somehow "speed-adapted" to it's extra hands, without any coordination problems.
After getting tired of pointless sword swinging, I noticed the piece of paper on the ground, with some hasty looking writing on it.
<If you are reading this, you just got successfully reincarnated into other dimension. For that I'am sorry, did not expect that truck to arrive. So now you have new body and some powers, which I let you to figure out on your own. Ain't I a stinker?
So have fun with your new life. Try not to get yourself killed. Also; "Everybody loves me Cthulhu"!
Signed--->
And the name was something eldritch writing... Creepy... And the next after reading the message, the paper just... crumbled to dust... OK...
'Well I probably should figure out how to carry these swords around other than my hands. Wish I had some pocket dimension to send them' I thought. And that moment the swords just disappeared in a little flash of light... 'WAT?! How do I bring them back?!' and they appeared back to my hands. Guess that settle's that; my the swords come and go when I want them to.
After putting four sword's away, wherever they go, I started to think some necessary thing. Like what could I eat? I did seem to possess rather omnivorous teeth. And this was followed by grumbling from my stomach. So I guess it's off to finding food with me then.
About 30 minute's later...
It took little bit of slithering around the forest, but I finally found some fruit trees on small clearing. Pear it seems. And they sure where easy to pick due to my size, and they also where tasty. Only problem is that I had nothing to transport them with, and I was NOT going to make improvised bag out of my clothing! Despite changing form, I still had some dignity left.
I didn't manage to think about material's for possible bag, when my thinking was interrupted by some growling nearby. Had no idea what creature it was, but it still put me on edge, making me instinctively summon all my blade's. And sounded like that there where more than one of them...
In bushes nearby...
Starswirl was amazed of the unknown serpentine creature he had located in the forest, wisely staying hidden from it. Unicorn wizard had also managed to make rough sketch of the creature, which was quite enormous in size. At least when compared to ordinary size of your average pony.
His academic thinking was interrupted though, when pack of five manticores arrived and started to growl their challenge to the serpent creature, which had magically called swords to it's frontal limbs... 'Hands, i think minotaurs called them' Starswirl thought momentarily, while casting a spell to hide his scent from manticores, which were now growling and roaring their challenge to the creature. It answered with it's own roar while spreading it's hands and blades, like trying to look more intimidating.
It didn't seem to work too well, since one manticore took attacking leap towards it... Only to get skewered on two sword's held by serpent and subsequently smashed to ground, quite dead. This seemed to agitate two more manticores into attacking, with very little success; One got held back and impaled to death by the blade's and second received seemingly bone crushing blow from creature's long muscular tail, which send it flying against a tree. It did not get up again.
At this point the remaining two un-injured manticore's seemed to realize that this creature was not an easy prey, and quickly fled the clearing. The serpent creature seemed to calm down after danger had passed. Hiding unicorn wizard was still amazed by serpent's fighting capabilities and writing it up in journal, that he didn't notice it looking over three manticore corpses, then proceeding to skin them, somewhat crudely but well enough.
By the time Starswirl had written his notes down, the serpent creature had started to cook now skinned and gutted manticores on simple bonfire, seemingly made by making sparks with one of the blade's and a rock. Luckily he had seen other creature's, like griffins cook with open fire, and even had a taste of said cooking, which was rather... Interesting experience, and without puking it out.
'Well it's clearly an omnivorous being, like someponys. Even though we prefer vegetable's. And clothing and weapon's hint it's intelligent too... Interesting...' unicorn wizard thought to himself, while scribbling notes down again. Then he made mistake of moving too much, which caused him to step on dry stick. And the crack it made sounded very loud for some reason, catching serpent's attention.
Starswirl, as a smart pony made first logical decision at that point... And started running away really fast, only to stumble and fall over.
The next thing stallion felt in a moment was being lifted up by his tail, leaving him hanging up-side down like a bat or thestral in some places. And soon he was eye to eye with the snake creature, who seemed to be looking at him both confused and curious expression. Luckily it didn't seem hungry for little pony snack...
'Ok, I think I'm in some sort of pony-land, potentially alternate-version of Equestria... Well that's just dandy' Naja thought while holding unicorn by it's tail. It was little bit bigger than her head, but what can you do when your a humongous snake creature.
This one did not look like anypony she had seen in the show, but you never know until you figure out where you are in timeline and all that. Strangely the pony wasn't panicking while hanging by it's tail. Any other creature would be flailing like crazy by now. It even got a cute goatee... No idea who this pony might be. With that thought, I just put the pony down. And after getting on it's hooves, it took off fast and disappearing in a flash of light.
'Hmm... I wonder how this will affect my later interactions with some other ponies? Or other races that might be out there...' she thought, while turning back to the cooked manticores. She was not going hungry at the moment at least...
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Considering it's inspired by Hollow Shades, I'm guessing you'll wait until after the main story is finished before doing cross-overs?
8808842
Most likely... Who know's what my writing inspirations says when/if such thing comes up.
8808934
Good idea. That way, the plot will remain intact plus it will give you time to give your character some development.
like the story but your missing a lots of a and an you have sentences like "Also it is somewhat hard to see this place as a prison, when THE ONLY some kinda warden is big three-headed dog."
Also it is somewhat hard to see this place as a prison, when THE ONLY some kinda warden is a big three-headed dog.
8809366
Thanks for the info :). Hopefully got most of them fixed...
Okay, right off the bat I need to say you need to learn what apostrophes are for. You don't use them to denote multiples. You only use them when you're either abbreviating two words into a contraction, like "Did" and "Not" becoming "Didn't", or when you're showing possession of something, like "That crown is Celestia's".
Another thing to note is Jesus Christ slow the hell down. Seriously, you're bull rushing through this story faster than a cheetah on meth. Slow down and take the time to describe scenes and actions. Right now you're doing a lot of telling, not showing, which is generally bad for a fanfic.
Lots and lots of missing connecting words, and yes a bit rushed. But I'm still interested so I'll give the rest of it a shot. It certainly helps that, after the Sphinx, the Maralith is one of my all time favorite monsters.
You could really use an editor. I am not volunteering. I edit enough already.
You have a bad habit of throwing ownership 's over plural words.
Do you have a proofreader?? Because... Well, I'll leave it at that. Not like the small grammar errors change the story. Though it felt like someone clapping in your face at the best part of the movie. You can fill in what happened without needed to see it but it's still annoying.
none the less it's still a good story despite the grammar errors. Well, wait I probably should be saying that yet when I'm only halfway in the prologue. We'll have to see to that get fixed
Truck-kun strikes again!
ih1.redbubble.net/image.761262045.2536/flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.jpg
You claim this was edited. I don't belive you.
10715437
I admit, i most definitely missed typos.
10715437
Agreed. There's just so many unnecessary apostraphies and grammatical errors.
Should have spoken.
At least show it tried contact for future interactions