Scott Curl
Joined 28th Jul, 2015 ·
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Very interesting concept. I found myself reading this more for the story than the clop xD
I might have to steal it... jk
Whoa, this was...
Whoa...
Fascinating and hot. This was a good read both as a story and as porn. The POV/framing is also quite interesting and played to good effect.
Was she talking to Flash?
8758347
In that case, I'd like to recommend Background Pony. It's the same concept, but 400,000 words of SFW Lyra Heartstrings goodness.
8758572
Dats a lot of words. But hey, if I can read "The Chase" in a month I can read that.
8758571
While writing the story, I intentionally avoided specifying who Wallflower was talking to. I wanted the reader to put anyone they wanted in that spot, from a canon character to an OC to themselves.
But can people smell her?
8758575
Fair warning: The best possible ending is not a good ending (but it is not a bad ending either).
Damn this could easily turn into a slasher horror movie set up if Wallflower gets bored enough. Thankfully she seems content with screwing Sunset Shimmer and hasn't decided to grab an axe. YET.
Great story, love this wallflower blush character.
Question: when they "see" her do they remember their past memories of hert, like did Sunset remember the whole Memory Stone saga when she was "seeing" Wallflower?
Kael'thas: Do you see something?
8758572
And one of the most depressing endings in fanfiction history...
But seriously, this could be expanded into one heck of a horror story, where Wallflower goes full yandere for Sunset, getting more unhinged with the knowledge that her crush will never remember her. Meanwhile, those close to Sunset start dying...and no one can remember how Flash managed to strangle himself with his guitar strings, or how Twilight managed to accidentally program her robot poodle to attack her...
I love the title of this story so much because I really have no clue who the hell this character even is. Not a joke. Who the hell is this character? I'd say she was an OC but she looks like a character from an actual show somehow...
Great story. It really could expand into something multi-chaptered.
Surprise ending:
Wallflower didnt know this person was a tad unbalanced. As soon as she counts down to one, mister/misses nameless decides to just nip this problem in the bud and strangle her to death. Upon letting go of her throat they completely forget their crime and leave the cafteria with a clear conscience.
Invisible, undetectable Yandere... Sunset sure knows how to pick them...
8758572
Dont do it! Background Pony will destroy your eyes!
8759179
The places I find you...
8759179
She is indeed a recently introduced canon Equestria Girls character. Further explanation would be a spoiler.
This was... amazing, to say the least. One, I've been toying with a similar concept of wallflower turning truly invisible, but starting before she erased the memories of sunset. And second, this was just really well done, story wise. What would a 'clean' version of this look like? No porn? I feel like that's something I need in my life.
Just to be clear the porn was totally hot and I approve of this 1-way ship.
Thank you.
8760002 1-way? Who's to say she didn't have sunset write a similar message?
I'm sorry what was that, did something happen?
8759549
I've been told I need to give clopfics a chance. So here I am on the part of FIMFiction where creativity and literary talent is rare to find.
8758572
How dare. You can't just go "similar concept" and link people to that masterpiece from a clop piece. You're going to kill carefully cultivated boners with the tone shift!
8760693
I can and I did.
It's like Background Pony if Lyra knew what to do with her curse.
8760254
1-way because the ship is based on canon interactions. I can believe based on canon that wallflower has a crush on sunset. I cannot believe the opposite.
Of course, you're correct that in the context of this story, sunset may know.
Man, imagine knowing that you have a girlfriend who's into the same stuff as you but you can't remember her or even see her when you're not touching. At any moment in the day she could suddenly start touching you (in whatever way she feels like) and only you would know. That'd be weird.
8760862
Fortunately or unfortunately depending on perspective, Sunset won't ever have this problem because Wallflower cannot be remembered at all, so there is not a chance for any building tension or wonder at someone able to spontaneously have sex with her.
Honestly, while this is treated as a kink, I suspect she's going to get tired of being invisible and public masturbation/sex with a (seemingly?) willing Sunset.
For one, a world where absolutely no one can remember you-friends, family, strangers, anyone-sounds pretty awful to me. My guess is Wallflower keeps this up a few weeks, and then when someone either tries to clean out her apartment (assuming she lives alone) or her parents throw out all her stuff from her room, then I suspect she's going to write down, in detail, what her situation and leave a note for Sunset and co. to try and help her, in addition to physically touching them.
Then again, we don't have that much information on this right now. Do people remember notes she leaves behind? If so, she can effectively communicate and a cure to her condition can likely be found. If not, and her situation is like Lyra in another of site's magnificent stories, then death is likely one of her few options-either suicide, or accidental.
I mean, think about it. She cannot get medical examinations. If she breaks her leg, no one will be able to help her for any period of time.
So...yeah. While this is a kinky story and I admit I liked it, at the same time Wallflower's in for a miserable time and death (eventually, likely sooner than most) if she doesn't figure out a way to stop being invisible and forgotten to everyone.
Edit: so apparently, she can get people to remember things she tells them by having them write them down...or they can remember things she writes down. This story isn't clear. So, maybe she'll figure out a way to solve her situation, as it is not a long term one that can be sustained, but I'll take it as a...positive?
Wallflower frankly isn't that nice or likeable in this story, but she's not outright evil. She's not forcing Sunset, as an example-if Sunset truly wanted her gone, she could have gotten violent. I don't particularly want Wallflower to prosper, but I also don't want her to die because someone hit her with a car, didn't see her, and kept driving whereupon another person ran over her because she was too injured to move.
8760814
Monster!
This was actually really well written. I loved it.
Plz make another I care if it has sex or not just do it
I want a sequel, even if it doesn't have sex in it. This is just too good.
Then, of course, I clamp my hand down ON hers, and cart her off to Sunset.
Because nobody threatens me, least of all a weak-willed little girl who got one tiny taste of power and instantly let it fill her head with delusions of invincibility.
But I guess that's not exactly in the vein of the story
8760683
Good ones are few and far between. Most of what hits the feature box is not good. I could make some recommendations if you're serious.
That was both hot and sad. Tugged at the old heartstrings, among other things.
Wow, that was way sexier than i thought it would be, and I had a smile on my face after reading the description. Great job!
8761829
Is this one good, fam?
8761829
Suggest what? Porn? No thanks. Bronies and pegasisters are good at a lot of things, but writing porn fiction is certainly not one of them.
Well...that might be a bit harsh. Comet Burst still holds ownership to the ONLY good clopfic on this site. But then he is a talented writer who probably has actually experienced sex and didn't just write down what he saw in some SFM sex video on Pornhub.
8762160
No offense but how are you gonna assume what some of the clopfic writers do in their private life, that’s a bit much don’t you think?
What happens if she tries to drive a car? Does it look like some self-driving ghost-car, or does the car disappear with her while she's using it?
8762160
Hey friend! Watch your blatant stereotyping and favoritism there...
This is actually a very dangerous situation in that Wallflower could get injured with no possible way to obtain help.
A few questions though:
1. Can Wallflower call someone and have a conversation? I suspect not since no one reacts to her words.
2. Can cameras record her? If so, do people also not notice her on the recording?
It is a fantastic story. I hope to see more in the future.
Best of luck, stay healthy, and safe.
-Sky66
Id actually really like to see this continued in a more serious sense with her trying to get the mane 7's attention. Id imagine she could do it by having other people see others having conversations with people who are not really there or getting people to leave messages for themselves. By doing this should could convince others that she exists and might even be able to find a way to restore her with the mane 7's help.
8762994
I'm guessing people won't notice her in recordings, but machines and very basic AI would probably perceive her just fine.
8762930
Sorry. I just like downvotes.
8763135
Tsk. You ruined it.
It's only good trolling so long as no one recognizes that you're trolling. As soon as you say something like "I just love downvotes", then everything you said is invalidated.
Anyway, I'm skeptical of anyone that comes to a story and claims not to like the subject matter or the type of story in general.. If someone claims to hate something, but always seem to be putting themselves close to it, it seems off. Like one of those politicians that speak out harshly about something like gambling or gay sex or whatever, but then get caught doing it themselves. They were less angry at other people, and more angry at themselves for being one of those people.
8762160
So wait, you're attaching Comet Burst's writing skill to his personal life? Yeah, don't do that. You haven't ever met the guy and know literally nothing about him. Just say that he's the only writer on the site to make your equipment function and cure your ED. You don't have to justify that by attaching things to a writer that you know nothing about.