The Visit
A sound. I actually heard a sound other than the clinking of my chained hooves and the breathing of ragged breaths. My ears perk up, and I look around for the source of the sound. I still only see darkness. A soft magical light glows in the near distance. It's inside my cell, but only just.
"Hello, Twilight Sparkle." I immediately know who it is. It's Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, princess and goddess of the sun, and my former teacher and now jailer. I don't want to talk to her. The light comes closer.
"Has Princess Luna come?" I know the answer even before I ask the question. My voice is raspy from many years of not using it.
"No. She has duties tonight." Celestia comes a little closer.
"How... How long has it been? In Equestria, I mean." I strain for calmness as I speak, but my voice still cracks.
"No. It'll only make you angrier." I can tell from Celestia's tone of voice that it's been longer than it has here. I can only assume it's been several hundred years.
"So... Why have you come this time?" I tilt my head sideways. I finally notice that my voice echoes in the room.
"To visit. And talk. Which is what we are doing right now, is it not?" Celestia says.
"... I suppose it is."I eventually say. I blink once, trying to at least temporarily make the blackness go away. Silence follows. An eternity of pure silence, with just my breathing, and hers.
"How far gone are you?" Celestia finally breaks the silence. It's not a question I want to hear.
"It's almost completely taken me now. Not long before I fall into darkness. Not long before I escape." and it truly is not long before I escape. All I have yet to do now is get a key from a guard.
"I see. What will you do? When you escape and leave here, what will you do?" the question stops my train of thought.
"I..."I pause, thinking. "Truthfully, I do not know. My plans have all been focused on escaping Tartarus." I sigh. It's a long, tired sigh. A sigh of somepony who's long since given up any hope of escaping.
"... I see. Has it been so long that you forgot?" that's a strange question. I wonder what she's thinking...
"What do you mean?"
"Twilight, there are some things you told me that were... Concerning, to say the least. One of them was that you wanted to make everypony suffer. Needless to say, those things were the reason for why we locked you up here." I almost growl but manage to hide it.
"It's corrupting you again, isn't it?" I only nod, barely managing to hold in the rage.
"Then let it out. Let it out, tell me all the horrible things you wish to say to me, in one big shout." I do so. I growl. Looking back, Celestia was not prepared for my outburst.
"YOU LOCKED ME UP BECAUSE OF SOME RANDOM DESIRES!? YOU PUT ME IN TARTARUS BECAUSE OF A HUNCH!? SERIOUSLY!? I TELL YOU SOME STUPID FANTASIES, AND YOU JUST LOCK ME UP IN TARTARUS FOR IT!? GUESS THAT SHOWS HOW GOOD A MENTOR YOU ARE, HUH!?" I heave in heavy breaths, winded from my shouting.
"Twilight, these were not fantasies. You straight up told me you wanted to hurt ponies. I could see no fear in your eyes. No regret for the things you wanted to do. You were already succumbing to it." I calm down, relieved by her words, and the fact that another burst of rage is quelled.
"So... You didn't want another pony hurting others?" I ask.
"No. Least of all you. I couldn't bear to see my student, who I see as a daughter to me, fall into the darkness. It would hurt too much." I can hear another crack in Celestia's calm voice.
"Y-you see me as a daughter? Celestia..." I smile.
"Yes, Twilight, I do." Celestia says.
"Can... Can i... Ask you a question?" I ask.
"What is it?" Celestia's voice remains calm.
"Have... Have you ever... Experienced what I experienced, or something close to it? It feels as if you know more than you're letting on." I can hear Celestia sighing, and tell that she did not want this question to be asked.
"Do you see my light, Twilight?"
"Yes."
"Look under it, where my face would be. Watch the darkness, until you can see my soul. Then tell me what you see." and so, I do. I stare at the darkness, waiting for something to happen. Several minutes pass. I wait. As I stare, it begins to feel as if something is corrupting Celestia. And then I see it. A creature. Something so horrifying, I can only describe it as made out of a thousand different nightmares. I gasp. I have to look away.
"What was that?"
"That was my darkness, Twilight." I heave breaths again.
"Ha... I can see why you know more than I originally thought you did now. That thing, whatever it is, must have been there for a long time for you to know what I was going through." I look at Celestia's light again. It seems tainted now, almost as if it's threatening to wink out.
"Yes. And now that you have seen it, I must do something." her light changes from a soft yellow to an angry red.
"What are you going to do?" I back into my little corner. She comes closer. Her light grows larger. I press myself against the cold stone wall. Her horn is only an inch away from my forehead, now. My breaths are heavy.
"Celestia, what's happening?" my breathing accelerates.
"Goodnight, Twilight Sparkle." she touches her horn to my forehead. And then, all fades away as I am sent into unconsciousness.
----
"How was it, sister?"
"She asked the question tonight."
"I see. Then you did it?"
"Yes."
"How did she take it?"
"Like anypony else. She was terrified."
"Only to be expected."
"Yes. Only to be expected."
---
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Very well written, but I’m a bit confused as to Celestia’s motives.
8740645
in this particular alternate universe, i planned for Celestia to have encountered some sort of dark force in the past, and the thing is choosing now to unload all of it's darkness on her, in the process making Twilight lose her consciousness. i'm not going to tell exactly what she did to Twilight, because that would defeat the purpose of the mystery end.
8740666
So it was left ambiguous?
(in reply to FanficReader920 cause i pressed the wrong reply button by accident
)
yup.
I'm confused . What happend at the end ? What did she do ?
. . . I want more . . .
8740709
if this gets enough likes/faves/whatever the positive reaction for this site is (50-60), then i'll make a sequel involving Celestia.
8740794
Good luck with that. Some stories are lucky to get fifty likes.
Well done. Life seldom presents unambiguous and complete answers and I'm glad there are still some writers who can leave the reader thinking.
Twilight goes to the darkside, and Celestia sent her to Tartarus before she could succumb to it is all I got from this. And I absolutely hate when authors take the chickens way out of not explaining what happened by calling it a mystery ending.
As I call it. Faved. But only just.
This just made no sense. I have to leave a downvote.
Spacegirlss12, I really like your style of writing. You leave the reader not only pondering the what, the how, and the why, leaving us to want so much more of the backstory. Well done, so hope you provide a prequel that continues with your great style of intrigue.
Completly torn.
On one hand obviously Celestia is just as or more "corrupt" then Twilight, and Luna knows it but doesnt give a damn since she too is probably corrupt. But that leaves the question why they even locked up Twilight...
On othe other hand its a good short mystery.
8740672
And as a result it ruined a decent concept because you couldn't be bothered to write a decent end.
8741367
It's more that with years and years of life, the weight of their life weigh's down. Never forgetting, yet always retaining.
Madness seeps into their mind corrupting them eventually taking them over, but either
1. Through perseverance and will these old beings learn to live with their madness balancing their light with their dark until a NightmareMoon happens
or
2. Eventually by living along side their madness does one just goes back to being sane. Learning that being sane or insane are not so different the same that dark and light are not so different
8752330
But if you give in and live along your maddness you end up killing everyone around you like Twilight wants to do and would do if she was given the chance.
NMM was Luna giving in to her darkness/madness because of her anger and jelaousy .
There is a difference between light and dark, sane and madness. If there wasnt one then it would all be the same.
8752344
thats kinda the reason Celestia locked her up
8752348
Thats my point i mean, the 2nd option of "just wait it out" isnt really an option, especially when you deal with powerful crazy alicorns that can black whole landscapes into nothing.
This isn't a "mystery" ending. This is a "what the $%&# just happened" ending. And that tone was confused, not horrified
The premise was good, but that's about it. We need more of Twilight's thoughts. We need more argument between them. We need SOMETHING of Celestia's motivations, some hint at her current state. A mystery isn't supposed to be a vague, no idea what's going on type of thing; leave that to the eldritch. A mystery is supposed to give you enough clues for you to figure out what's going on, or at least get a vague idea. This? This isn't a mystery ending.
This is crap.
9097460
I want to like that post two more times.
Bad
Definitely would like to read this with more detail. This is kinda like the exciting movie trailer!
Any plans on doing more with it? Definitely holds promise! ^^
9613739
If I do, it'll be after I finish the Goddess of Winter and the prequel describing Chrysalis' reform.
9624249
Awesome possum! I'm definitely gonna check your other stories out!