A Stressed Spike

by JordanOlson

Chapter 1: The Dragons Frustrations

Spike gazes at the building currently within his sight, a clothing store, a boutique, a structure that could be described as artistic beauty, but looks can be deceiving, and he'd realized that as soon as he'd opened the door.

"Dear Celestia, this place is a complete mess. What could Rarity have possibly been doing in here to create this?" Spike says out loud as he glances around the room. Cloths and fabrics littered practically every inch of the place and he only just entered the shop!

"Wonderful. I can't wait to see what the rest of this place looks like if this is only the first area that needs cleaning" Spike grumbles as he practically has to waddle through a sea of fabric to reach Rarity's inspiration room.

Once reaching his destination, he could only stare in shock. "This room is possibly even worse then the first" Spike yells as he takes in the disastrous sight.

Not only was this room also filled with tons of fabric but there was crumpled paper all over the place! If that wasn't bad enough, there are possibly DOZENS of empty ice cream tubs littered throughout the room.

Spike can only sigh as he comes to an important conclusion "Well... if I don't start with this room then I may never get around to cleaning it at all.

one hour later and only one room spotless

As Spike exites the now (somehow) sparkling room he can only think about how cleaning a foals room would be easier then what he just cleaned. He may be a dragon but that doesn't mean stepping on needles is going to be painless, which he had ended up doing on multiple occasions.

"How can Sweetie Belle put up with this? How can Rarity work like this?" Spike's mind is almost shouting at him to think of how creating such a mess is possible.

"When Twilight was younger her parents always made sure she didn't make TOO much of a mess. I wonder if Ratity's parents did the same when she was younger. They've probably never seen her place like this before." Spike mumbled his thoughts out loud as he went to the main room and continued to separate and place all the fabric in certain groups.

Then a thought entered his scaled head which made him pause all movement "Did I ever make messes when I was a baby?"

He stared into space for about ten seconds before fully processing his thoughts. "I must have, I mean, all babies make lots of messes without really thinking about it. Though why can't I remember? Has Twilight even mentioned much about my hatchling days....."

Spike rolled this thought in his head for a moment before a frown appeard "on his face "she has only really mentioned a few small things. I'm almost positive. No. I'm absolutely sure about that."

"Why doesn't she ever tell me about what I was like when I was younger?" He almost whispers to himself.

"Why have I never seen many pictures of when I was an a baby?" Spike asked himself in a quiet, but slightly louder whisper.

"Why has Twilight never told me any funny stories about what I had done as a hatchling?" He says in a low voice with his eyes looking fiery.

"Does she even remember? Does any pony remember?" He asks in an much louder and much sadder voice.

"Does she even care?! Does any pony care?!" He then shouts with tears in his eyes.

"No. No, she doesn't, no pony does!" Spike then finally breaks. He then lowers his head into the nearest fabric pile to muffle the sounds of his crying and yelling.

"why. Why. WHY! Why am I ALWAYS forgotten?! Why am I always used as a tool?! Why was I even born?! To be a slave?! To suffer for others gain?! WHY?! He shrieks as tears cascade down his scaly face, soaking the fabric his head currently resides in.

He continues to sob for a awhile as his head try's (and fails) to boot all of the depression from his mind. He even try's to continue cleaning to get all the pain to go away, and while the pain never left, he did finish cleaning up the boutique.

Then as suddenly as his tears came, they vanished. Spike's face had taken on an expressionless mask, in fact, the only way to tell he was even crying in the first place would've been by looking at the large stained tear streaks shown from under both his eyes.

No, I won't cry. I'm a big dragon not a baby." Spikes' thought rang through his head like a bell.

Though I'd probably love being a baby. It would be a much better life then the life of a slave. A simple, almost desperate thought went throughout Spike's mind.

The thought of being a baby sounded better each time he thought about it."No pony expects anything from you as a foal. Instead of the adults depending on foals, the foals depend on the adults, like all children should. The way it's supposed to be.

Maybe I could whip up some kind of potion to regress me or trick Twilight into regressing me on "accident". He thought with a tactical smirk on his face.

However his smirk immediately vanished with his next thoughts. "No. No, that would be stupid. The last thing I'd want would be having the girls get involved, they could start asking questions if I made a potion like that and even if I could miraculously trick Twilight into casting a spell like that, there could be a chance of the spell malfunctioning in some way."

"That being said, I need to keep as many ponies out of any plan I make if possible. If even a single pony got suspicious, I could end up being discovered and that can NOT happen." Spike continued to think as he started pacing around the boutique.

"I suppose the best plan for the situation I'm in would be to buy diapers here in Ponyville. I just have to come up with a lie to tell the pony selling the diapers if they ask about it, even a suspicious look will require a lie to keep that pony or ponies quiet. Maybe I could–" Spike then cuts off his thoughts with a face claw.

"Hold on, what the buck am I doing? Am I seriously thinking about actually getting diapers?" Spike silently asks himself with an appalled look an his face.

"That's insane. There's gotta be SOMETHING wrong with me to even consider something like this. There MUST be something wrong with me, why else would I have such weird thoughts in my head." He then continues to berate himself in his mind.

"I can't actually consider doing this. It's sick. Disgusting. Twisted. Wrong. The worst part is, I actually LIKED what I was thinking. I swear I must be a freak." As he continued to attempt to discourage these thoughts, he couldn't help but remember the feelings of weightlessness and desperation he had felt while he imagined the possibility of being a "baby" again.

"Ugh, I can't be thinking of things like this." Spike said loudly. I just need to finish up my chores for today, then go home and rest. I've gotta be having these thoughts because I'm tired. Yeah that's definitely the case.

As he walked out the door of the boutique and started walking to the cottage where a certain Demon Angel Bunny lived, he continued to have the thoughts he was desperately trying to make himself believe were "sick and twisted" running rampantly through his mind....

Author's Note:

Hi everyone!
I tried making a slightly longer chapter but I swear, one moment I come up with a great idea for a story-I've played it through my head sometimes multiple times, and then when I try to copy what I had going through my mind, I forget some if not most of what I had thought of typing and then desperately try to fill out what I can remember while recreating the rest as I go.

Anyways, enough about my problems.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

~Sincerely Jordan Olson
PS: let me know if you want more chapters by either pushing the thumbs up button or leave a comment telling me you want to see more. I personally hate asking for likes but it's the only way to know if I'm doing a decent job.

Comments

[Yosh-E-O]

Definitely off to a great start. A chapter does not need to be long as long as it still forwards the story.

As a new author, I'd honestly say it is a good thing you have short chapters. It makes more folks inclined to give your story a chance as it is a short investment to see whether the work is a yay, or neigh.

Personally, I like what you are doing with this story. It, to me, touches on a topic I've been working to better understand myself. This being 'Broken Childhood' / 'Growing Up Too Fast'. These situations, as my research has found, does make one desire to regress to a simpler time. This helps avoid the pain of feeling, whether consciously or not, of wanting back what has been taken from you.

Lots of folks who find diapers a way to 'simulate being little do so as they tend to relate with being vulnerable. Wearing one helps, whether you use them for their intended purpose or not, get into a mind set that makes you worry less and free yourself from stress. Other 'accessories' can help but the diaper is the most common for how it is soft, warm, and is most commonly associated with being in a mind set that no worries exist and that you are 'safe' again.

I've thought of Spike being one who has a broken childhood because of how, for being close to old as the CMC, he is treated like an adult and given adult responsibilities on top of adult accountability. Most of his episodes in the canon show come down hard on him for making mistakes but, to be honest, he is still young and allowed these mistakes. Or, in the least, not in need of such harsh correction for making them.

The abandonment he gets from Twilight and crew doesn't help with security reasons either. He knows how to put on a brave face but, deep down, I really feel he is like you are writing. This being a hatchling made to grow up too fast without the optimal degree of love and guidance prior to doing so.

[JordanOlson]

Thank you so much for the reply I really felt this response gave a positive and detailed explanation towards my writing, short chapters, and detail, which I am very thankful for.
The whole idea of having your childhood taken away from you and forced responsibility is something that almost MAKES you mature in a purely negative way.
An example would be: When you put a frozen pizza in the oven, you set the oven at around 425-450° for 15-20mins. If you were impatient you could crank up the heat to 850-900° for 7mins 30sec-10mins. Mathematically speaking, by doing this you would expect to essentially cut the time in half, however, Scientifically speaking, you would most likely ruin the pizza because there is no working short-cut for cooking like this, you have to follow the instructions. The ingredients and pizza as a whole couldn't handle that extreamly high temperature and then it would most likely burn.
Cooking has a similarity to aging. The way I see it, Spike is the pizza while his life is the oven while Twilight and the girls are the temperature. Spike has been "over cooked" and "burned out" because his aging time was rushed.
I know how Spike is a nice dragon in the show but because we never really see how Spike really is since the show isn't directly focused on him like the main 6, it made me wonder if these are feelings that Spike would possess. In the end, I wasn't entirely sure if this story would make him seem OOC which worried me a little but at the same time, since this is fiction, I can write him however I'd like even if he is a bit OOC. It also technically can't be proven that he doesn't have these feelings anyways so there is a lot of freedom to work with Spike as a character.

Anyways, enough of my rambling.
Thank you very much for the reply!

~Sincerely Jordan Olson

[Glamer Mist]

Mm.. I like where it's going.

[wayward_pony]

Kinda digging the way you're writing Spike so far. He's different from his pony friends and fills somewhat of an odd role... that would depress anyone from time-to-time, or at least make them question what it's all about,. especially if he was called on so frequently only when his friends needed something. The AB/DL elements are there and are relatable to certain AB's experiences of perhaps growing up too quickly or missing out on bits and pieces of childhood.

There are errors here and there an editor could help you with, but for the most part they're the type of errors that don't really distract from the story. The only errors that I found kind of distracting are the errors with tense -- it's predominately written as a present-tense story, where everything's happening right now. EG. Spike picks up the basket, not Spike picked up the basket. It's not a style I've come across very often, and it's kinda cool to find unexpectedly.

I'm enjoying the work and enjoying the bits of humor you've injected here and there. Also, as an aside -- I totally know what it's like to have an idea and be unable to write it down until later, struggling to get it out as you remember it... it's not fun, but you might frequently end up with a good yarn. My least favorite creative kerfuffle, however, is one when there's an electronic or electrical failure and part of, if not all of the work is gone, and you're forced to rewrite it from memory... the recapitulation is usually not -quite- as good as what you might've first had.

Anywho, best of luck with your creative endeavors. This is quite enjoyable for a new writer's material, there's a fresh energy here that's kinda nice. Errors are just skin-deep and will decrease over time with experience. Don't sweat them, instead perhaps use this early work as measurement of where you are now VS where you are in the future.

Take care!

[JordanOlson]

8796837
I'm glad you are enjoying how Spike is written!

I don't actually have an editor so I really only am able to proofread from one "angle". I do try my best to make sure that I squash those errors but there are usually some issues that make it through the preverbal "cracks".

It really sucks when you have something that ruins your "flow", especially when it's something completely out of your control and it's caused by someone else. While I have never had an electrical problem keep me from getting my ideas typed out, I know I'd be livid at losing work that I'd just finished or progressed. I am actually really paranoid to the point where I copy everything at a certain point so if I need to paste it if it got lost then I could.

I hope you continue to enjoy what you may read from me in the future!
~Sincerely Jordan Olson