• Member Since 15th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

EchoWing


Geek boy, aspiring writer, and proud Brony with a story to tell.

T
Source

No one is without some scars. Some are on the surface, and fade with time, but others run deep, and may never fully heal. And any number of things can cause those scars to reopen.

Quiver Quill's scars run deep, deeper than even his closest friends in Ponyville are aware of. And thanks to helping to organize a class assignment at Ponyville Elementary, his scars will start to come to the surface thanks to interacting with a filly who's caused quite a few scars of her own - Diamond Tiara. His interactions with her will lead to both of their collective scars coming to the fore, and force them to see the results of their actions.


This story contains elements from the episodes "Twilight Time", written by Dave Polsky, "Crusaders of the Lost Mark", written by Amy Keating Rogers, and the comic story "Don't You Forget About Us" from issues 38-39, written by Christina Rice with art by Agnes Garbowski. Cover art courtesy of LadyGoth88.

Part of the Quiververse

Chapters (9)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 111 )

I really enjoyed this beginning to the story. You did a good job handling the voices of the characters - Twilight, the Crusaders, Quiver, and Diamond Tiara. I was especially impressed with the scene about her coming home and her interactions with her parents.

It's an incredible tragedy, that Filthy Rich seems like such a decent guy and yet is married to such a vile excuse for a mare. The mind boggles as to how in Equestria that happened...

8739240
Love, unfortunately, is often blind, and can cause a person to overlook even the worst of another's flaws. Another part of me thinks that Filthy Rich might even be too intimidated by his wife to really stand up to her, but that's debatable. Either way, both have their limits.

8739266
True, true. And I have wondered that about Filthy as well. It definitely "helps" with the way things are, that he's often busy with his store and thus not around to witness her actions towards their servants or daughter. And I can imagine that when he does get home, he probably just wants to have some peacefulness and thus (willfully or obliviously) lets Spoiled's behavior slide as he doesn't want to deal with her throwing a hissy fit.
Or, well, more of one than usual.

8739280
That's as reasonable an explanation as any that I can think of for him turning a blind eye to it. Not totally excusable, but definitely understandable.

VERY good alternate version of "Twilight Time.". The exchanges, characterizations and future story set-up are all well done in all the right places. And yeah, being bullied until she became Celestia's personal student WOULD be a good reason for Twilight to hate Magic Kindergarten (I know Magic Kindergarten wasn't explicitly mentioned in this story, but it WAS pretty strongly implied. Plus Twilight's fear of getting sent back to Magic Kindergarten in "Lesson Zero" HAD to come from SOMEWHERE.)

Anyway, I particularly liked Quibble and Twilight's talk with the Crusaders (especially with Quibble's insights). And, yeah, the shown contrast between Spoiled and Mister Rich in Diamond's interactions with them was great too.

At any rate, I will most assuredly be looking forward to more, but will also respect that real world matters need to come first.

8739388
I've got my fingers crossed that real world stuff won't impact this story too much. The next few chapters are all ready to go. I just need to sit down and finish the rest of it!

Time to drag Spoiled before a judge for blackmail.

Oh, so Gilded Lily is Scootaloo's mother? Interesting - and I can't help but be amused by the timing, I was just thinking about who her mother might be when I got on the computer this morning. :rainbowlaugh:

Good work as always. I especially liked the scene with Cheerilee at the start. Poor mare...

8753986
It's only blackmail if you can prove it, and unfortunately, it's Cheerilee's word against Spoiled Rich's word...and her money. Not a good situation for her, unfortunately.

8754058
I established Gilded Lily as Scootaloo's mom back in A Daring Day. Seven seasons into the show, and the most mention we have of her family are a couple lesbian aunts in a book. Nothing against said aunts, I even mentioned them here, but I do think she deserves to have at least one parent show up.

And yes, Cheerilee's in a bad situation, stuck under an enormous weight. Time will tell if someone comes along and provides leverage. :ajsmug:

8754252
I haven't read A Daring Day yet. It's still on my to-do list... sorry.
But sure, it would be something to see her with an actual parent.

8754264
Eh, you'll get to it soon enough. And hopefully enjoy it!

8754252
Cue Cheerilee moaning about it to Twilight, prompting her to investigate and possibly get Celestia involved.

8754716
Perhaps, but that assumes that Cheerilee going to Twilight would accomplish anything. Spoiled Rich has no fear of the royalty, and not a lot of respect for Twilight.

Special kind of idiot, her.

8754814
Which is bound to get Spoiled in a lot of trouble and thus rendering the blackmail danger moot as she's done far worse by spitting in Twilight's face.

8754984
Yep. Where and when, however...well, that's for me to reveal when the time is right.

Excellent job on this latest chapter, as usual. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked the exchange between Spoiled and Cheerilee (at least in the sense of subtly foreshadowing Diamond's future redemption; I agree that Cheers needs to get help from an authority figure that she KNOWS Spoiled CAN'T bribe or bully) as well as the chat between Rarity, Twilight and Quiver.

And, in all fairness to the Manehattan folks, if they see a Princess trying to get a cab they might honestly think said Princess was just trying to troll them. After all, why would somebody NEED to take a taxi when they can fly faster than most cabs under their own power anyway (maybe not as fast as Rainbow Dash, but still faster than most cabs)?

Sorry about that. Got off on a tangent there.

Anyway, I will most assuredly be looking forward to more of this, but will respect the need for patience.

8755888
Glad that you're pleased with it.

As far as Manehattan cabbies go, the trolling idea is plausible, but I'd think that someone who works a job like that wouldn't want to turn down money, no matter who it was coming from.

Finally able to read this thing completely, couldn't before cause had other stories to read. Anyway, liking how this story is coming so far and how you're writing Diamond Tiara and her family, it has never occured to me that Mr. Rich might not be doing something about his daughter behavior because he believes she's the one being bullied.

Was really surprised that DT hurt Quiver though any kid who loved their father might do the same if they felt they were being insulted (still doesn't make it right). I read the fanfic and can easily see the ponies of Promise behaving like that. Hope next chapter comes soon!

“We do, and I’ve been waiting a while to say this.” The tension that was in the room broke as Quiver’s grim expression turned into a pleased smile. “It’s great to see you!”

Great bit of subversion here. I really thought that there was bad history between them in the past! :rainbowlaugh:

“Quiver’s dad, Bitterhoof, and Sour’s mom, Bitter Sweet, are brother and sister! That makes the two of them first cousins! And now Quiver has biological family here in Ponyville!”

Bitterhoof and Bitter Sweet. This makes SO much sense it's scary. :twilightoops:

8769877
The idea that Filthy Rich thinks that his daughter's being bullied (rather than doing the bullying) comes from the comics. I just adapted it a little for my purposes. As for how easily he'd believe it, well...you think a name like Filthy Rich did him any favors growing up?

You gotta remember that as many issues Diamond Tiara has with her mother, she's shown nothing but adoration for her father. Insulting her dad has got to be a berserk button for her, particularly if the pony pressing that button has already been getting on her nerves. As for DT actually physically injuring Quiver, keep in mind that she hit him at a place where he'd already been wounded earlier. It wasn't so much that her blows were strong, but that they were hitting already weakened points.


8769952
I was hoping that fake-out would work. I'm not going to say that Quiver and Sour have a perfect relationship - no relatives do - but the two do care for one another and are fairly close. Exactly how that came to be will be elaborated upon as the story continues.

As for the Bitterhoof and Bitter Sweet theme naming...I'm just glad that I thought of that when I did. Early plans were to have Sour's mom be named Sickly Sweet, but I figured that might be just a little too on the nose. Suffice it to say, theirs is a bit of a messed up clan, and the story's going to hint at why as it goes on.

8770000
Yeah, I think you were sensible about the theme naming. There are obvious MLP names (I mean, just look at the Rich family! :rainbowlaugh:) and then there's just hitting someone over the head with the obvious.

Oh, by the way? I was wondering - with Twilight's wish about her friends receiving honors too, and if she has to have security, why can't they... is that foreshadowing at all? Are we, uh, going to see the rest of the Equestrian Shadowbolt equivalents turn up down the road? :pinkiehappy: Or am I just getting worked up over nothing?

8770003
I can't say too much, but I will say that you're not getting worked up over nothing and I do have plans for the rest of the Shadowbolts' Equestrian counterparts. When they'll show up is still up in the air, but hopefully, it'll be soon.

Sorry I took a while, but I have to say this WAS a great chapter. I particularly liked the introduction to your version of Sour Sweet's Equestrian counterpart , Diamond's demonstration of Even Bad Fillies Love Their Papas and the references to the town of Promise (particularly Twilight's idea to contact Celestia concerning her and Cadance's difficulties concerning said town). Indeed, if Celestia and Luna KNEW what was REALLY going on in the town, Brass and his crew would be in more trouble than Sammy Davis Jr. at a Ku Klux Klan rally. Of course, I admit that's an ironic analogy considering Brass and his bunch ARE basically members OF the Equestrian version of the Ku Klux Klan .

Anyway, excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, general story wrap-up and future story set-up in all the right places. I'll most assuredly be looking forward to more, but will also respect that I WILL need to be patient.

As said, Diamond Tiara loves her daddy. You insult Daddy in front of Daddy's Girl, and you're in for trouble. As for the residents of Promise, well, time will tell if anything happens to them - so far as anyone outside of town knows, they haven't done anything wrong, and no one in the town considers what they've done wrong. But the more you draw attention to yourself, the more likely you'll be noticed.

Glad that you're enjoying the story so far. I'll definitely have the next chapter ready soon, but after that, it's up in the air.

8774276
Points well taken and completely understandable - in that order.

...Ouch. Poor Mr. Rich.

There was a lot of other stuff in this chapter - Diamond running off in search of her story (with Silver tagging along), Applejack and Apple Bloom's discussion (nicely handled), Quiver and Sour (again, good work there) - and I feel it all worked quite well.

8785438
Glad that you've enjoyed.

You show me one person who can't sympathize with a parent who's worried over the fate of their child. A parent who doesn't worry when their kid is in danger doesn't deserve the title, not by my reckoning. And what we've seen of Filthy Rich tells us that he cares about Diamond, or at least doesn't say anything to the contrary. As for that wife of his...

As the crowd thinned, a familiar orange pegasus with a blue mane stepped into view, and beamed happily as he caught sight of his marefriend.

Cue the rabid haters in 3... 2... 1...

In all seriousness, this was a great chapter. I'm especially glad that Applejack's finally realized her past mistakes, and having it come about because of her past interactions with Sunset was a clever move. A bit surprised that you went with having Silver's talent be with food, though. I'm not complaining, mind you, and it isn't a problem in any way, it's just that after you established that her parents ran an antique store I assumed her mark meant she was into the family business. Again, not complaining, just thinking out loud.

8785499
Yeah, I've got a sneaking suspicion that the only reason I get as many downvotes as I do on some stories is because people pointlessly hate Flash Sentry. Their problem, not mine.

I'm afraid that a lot of stories depicting Silver Spoon as something of a foodie has colored my judgment on her. The idea that she has an appreciation for the finer things, be it food or well-made furniture, is something that I like, however.

Poor Mr. Rich, that's a parent's worst nightmare he's experiencing right now! Hope they find the girls before they get into too much trouble (I might have jinxed it :twilightoops:)

I like so far the relationship between Quiver and Sour, and I hope to see more of it. I also find interesting the bits you reveal about the rest of their family, like their granpa's sense of humor and whatever the issue was between Quiver, his brother and their father.

I like how you address the issue of bullying in your series, about why bullies get away with stuff and how standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bully.

8785685
That's for me to know and everyone else (save one person whom I've sworn to secrecy) to find out.

I can assure you, there will be more to Quiver and Sour's relationship, and more details regarding their family in general will be revealed before this story concludes. There's a reason this story has the word 'Scars' in the title.

Bullying is something that I've had to deal with firsthand, unfortunately. It's not something I planned on approaching in a wishy-washy sort of way, and I'm glad that folks are okay with how I've addressed it so far.

8785769
Eh, surprises are awesome when we don't expect them anyway.

Geez, now I have soms apprehension about what we will learn!

It is good that you portray bullying realistically since we frequently see it being sugarcoated in kids shows and that only serves to undermine the seriousness of the effects on the victims.

8785956
Just keep your fingers crossed that I'm able to keep up with writing this. I don't want to keep everyone in suspense too long.

“Pretty much. This is something new from the colts in R&D, meant to aid in mass communications within cities. Ideally this’ll work in concert with the telegraph lines, at least until they can bring the next thing out. And that’s already in the works thanks to the Crystal Empire coming back.”

Ah, interesting. I like that idea. I didn't know what a samovar was at first and had to Google it, but I definitely like the concept of this communication device!

“Run away?! My Diamond?!” She began to make her way towards the door and remarked, “More likely that some damn fool has kidnapped her! And I can think of an easy way that could have happened!”

Of course... >_< Spoiled is going to do her best to make life miserable for Quiver down the road, isn't she?

The shape continued to grow closer, only to pause and let out a low roar as it opened its mouth wide and displayed many sharp, white teeth. That was the tipping point for the fillies as they screamed and ran off, Diamond leading the way and Silver following close behind. They didn’t even notice as the manticore they’d left behind peered out to watch them go with a confused look on his face, having only yawned after a long and successful day on the hunt.

Hah! Nice subversion. Glad to see an Everfree creature that isn't after pony meat like a crackhead looking for a fix.

Quiver suddenly got worried, and briefly glanced at his cousin. She hadn’t changed her expression, however, beyond raising an eyebrow. That did nothing to ease his concerns, however.

Quiver has good reason to worry. Sour Sweet yelling is one thing. Sour Sweet looking calm when pissed off... Oh boy. :twilightoops:

Spoiled Rich! Be silent!” The wealthy mare actually did as she was told, and everypony took a step back as Twilight took a deep breath.

Hah! Bout time someone did that. XD Nice use of Twilight's Royal Canterlot Voice. Even better that she got to do it twice.

“I’ll stay too.” Quiver shot a quick glance back at Spoiled Rich and remarked, “Something tells me that’s the smartest course of action I can take right now.”

Probably. Of course, Quiver's kind of in a damned-if-you-do situation. Either go into the Everfree to look for the filly of the mare who's convinced you're a pedophile, or stay back at the same building with the mare who's convinced you're a pedophile. Oh, he's probably in for a rough time ahead...

8799952
Ponies clearly have the means to enchant dragon fire to send messages, and a means to send messages through dragon fire as well. This was just an expansion of that concept. Having the device resemble a samovar was just something I thought of that felt right - those things are pretty valuable, from what I've heard.

Spoiled's gonna try, at any rate. That's the trouble with the wealthy and petty - they enjoy making others' lives miserable, and there isn't much that can be done about it.

In real life, most wild animals will leave you alone so long as you don't bother them. Doubly so if they're not hungry. And given the behavior we've seen from manticores in the series, I doubt they'd be any different. I can't say the same about other critters in the Everfree, however.

Quiver's got another reason to be anxious, however, as the story will hopefully make clear. Still, Sour getting mad while maintaining an outward calm is definitely something to take warning of. Berserker Rage is bad, but Tranquil Fury is worse, especially when the one experiencing it has the needed skills to make your life very miserable. Or worse.

Twilight's trying, at least, but unfortunately, the Royal Canterlot Voice only works so long to restrain folks like Spoiled Rich.

And as for Quiver's Catch-22, yeah. Thankfully for him, there's several ponies nearby who aren't quite so eager to make rash judgments like that. And Spike. Plus, Spoiled has some priorities - she'll get her daughter back, and then she'll screw over the pony she blames for the current mess she's in.

Spoiled is certainly foolish to be speaking like that to a princess who, apart from being national hero and (former) Element Bearer, is the former student of Princess Celestia, sister-in-law to Princess Cadance and a close friend of Princess Luna.

Whatever shall be the reason that Quiver wants to stay in the same place as Spoiled after she accused him of being a kidnapping pedophile? My guess is that he wants to learn more about the Riches and discover the root of DT's behavior.

8800641
Spoiled Rich is less foolish and more arrogant, for reasons that I've yet to elaborate upon. Suffice it to say, she doesn't think that a crown equates to power in her world. Especially when the pony wearing the crown has only had it for less than six months.

Quiver at this point has a pretty good idea of what's causing Diamond Tiara's behavior, or at least a reasonable guess. He chose to stay behind for reasons that will become clear next chapter, though simply wanting to avoid causing a scene with Spoiled Rich is a part of it. She was already accusing him of being a pedophile, and he didn't want to throw any more fuel on that fire if he could avoid it.

Wow, there was a lot of good and heavy emotional content in this chapter. I was already very impressed with Silver Spoon's argument with Diamond that turned into a kind-of breakdown, but then came that rant from Spoiled Rich... :twilightoops:

Damn. I kind of wish we'd seen just a bit about Filthy's reaction to seeing, for the first time, what a nightmare his wife really is, but then, that's probably going to be in the next chapter. (Still - Christ, I feel sorry for him. He probably feels like the bottom of his whole world has dropped out from under him.)

8814824
Filthy is still processing what he's seen, but yeah, he's been through something of an emotional roller-coaster. The next couple chapters will see the aftermath of all of this however, as well as the consequences.

8814849
It ain't quite over yet. Spoiled Rich still has some trouble heading her way.

Ok, this is not what I expected to happen! Spoiled was a complete monster in the episode for her emotional abuse to Diamond but here she's worst as she adds physical abuse to it!

Was also very shocked by Quiver's reaction since it brings to mind some unpleasant thoughts about his childhood even more with the revelation that his father hit him.

Anyway, the chapter was well written and filled with excellent characterization and emotional bits. Good job!

8815007
...where did I say that Quiver's father was physically abusive? I certainly never meant to imply that.

Still, yeah, Spoiled Rich crossed a line here, and there isn't any going back from it. And as for Quiver's reaction, well, the next chapter should shed some light on that, and explain the title of the story.

8814870
Which is why I said it when I did. I know it's coming, and she's already gotten a bit of it in this recent chapter.

8815032
Ah sorry, the bit where he mentioned that his father also hit him kinda made me assume.

Well, I'm eagerly awaiting an explanation.

8815310
Ah. Well, yeah, you're right. She done bucked up.

8815322
Look to the next chapter for clarification on that front. I just hope that I'm able to sit down and work on it without any trouble.

the cmc being bullies? thats a good one. Tell me another

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!