• Published 17th Feb 2018
  • 8,739 Views, 119 Comments

The Displaced Brothers - Erik_The_Shitposter



Me and my brothers goes to a con, buy something from a creepy guy and get sent to a land of magical talking ponies as Bill Cipher, Asriel Dreemurr and Noximilien. (Gravity Fall, Wakfu, Undertale, MLP, and others Crossover)

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Chapter 4 : Spell Research, Making a Deal and A New Party Member.

Reading a crap ton of combat spells and other kind of spells is not an easy thing to do, sure I’m just reading book and that doesn’t required a lot of energy but remembering the runes to cast the spells is such a hard task. Fortunately being Bill Cipher himself boosted my reading speed and memories by a crap ton.

It’s been like…what? An hour or two since everybody fell asleep and I’m still wide awake despite haven’t catching a sleep for two straight day. I guess being a second dimension being doesn’t need any sleep or rest, that or I just have a lot of power.

Flipping a page of the floating journal only with my minds while munching on a taco with extra Tabasco I conjured, I read the script written on the page. It’s a spell called ‘Shining Spear’, as the name implied, it’s a shining spear completely made out of Light Magic or Holy Magic, effective against Undead, Dark, and Demonic creatures.

Kinda like that spell called ‘Shining Javelin’ from anime but bigger and deadlier.

The journal said that it required Light/ Holy Magic to cast it, but since I have Chaos Magic I can cast it easily cuz you know my magic breaks all the rules. The other person, or rather pony, who can cast that spell is probably Celestia. Emphasis on the word ‘probably’ because the spell is required a lot of power. Yes I’m aware that she is an Alicorn but she is still young, heck she barely reaches my shoulder.

There is other kind of spells that I learnt, such as 'Sparks Burst', 'Ice Spears' and 'Wind Gust' for offensive spells. Defensive spells like 'Bubble Shield', 'Wall of Earth' and 'Barrier' and buff/support spells like 'Hardening', 'Magic Boost', and 'Damage Absorption'. I also learn some light and medium healing spells but I think thats going to be useless since Asriel can heal any wounds almost instantly from what I know during our encounter with Chrysalis, and to top it all of I added 'Universal Dispel' in my arsenal.

Another thing that I learnt from this journal, at first I thought that magic is like a universal thing, everyone can cast any spell they want if they have enough power but nope, there is couple of different magic other than Normal Magic. I took a blind shot and guessed that Normal Magic is the same one as the magic I've seen in the show, other than the Rainbow Canon.

The journal contain a fair amount of information about different magic, Necromancy, Dark Magic, Shadow Magic, Fire Magic, Shadow Magic, you name it. My favorite one is Chaos Magic because it allow the user to cast any kind of spell they want but trough out the history there hasn't a single one that can use Chaos Magic without losing their sanity, except Discord apparently.

I don't know why the journal said that Discord isn't insane but the proof is clear as the sky, unless if he just drunk of power and want to toy around with Celly's subjects, or something like that.

Probably he thinks that he is a god and need to act as one, y'know, messing other people life and stuff.

Discord’s addiction aside, other than studying battle magic, all offense, defense and support, I’m also searching for the location of The Tree of Harmony. The journal didn’t say much other than being in the heart of the Everfree where all sort of vicious creatures came from. Manticores, Timberwolfes, both Ursa Minors and Majors, Hydras and many more. There also a side note that said there has been a sighting of Undead creatures and Rushus in the deepest part of the forest.

To think about it, it doesn't make much sense. Why would Demon and Undead creatures hang around near the source of Harmonic Magic? its literally the equivalent of Holy Magic only a tid bit stronger. If I remembers correctly harmony can only be existed when you combined Chaos and Order in a correct portion, and since Chaos Magic is basically Jack of All Trades of magic it can be used to cast Holy Magic spells. I don't know a single thing about Order though, maybe there is something that explained what the hell it is. Could it be that Chaos Magic attracted their attentions?

I hope that wasn't the case, it would be bad if something like that happen because I have a fuck tons of Chaos Magic allover my body. It wouldn't be surprise if I'm literally made out of that stuff, since you know, Bill can't existed in the third dimension without a host to posses or a portal connected to the Nightmare Realm like in the Weirdmageddon episodes.

Other than combat spells, I also took my time to study other spells like transfiguration, teleportation, levitating, any other spells that doesn't required a specific magic, or in another word, spells that only uses Normal Magic. I may have Chaos Magic that can allow me to do whatever I wan't but I'd like use other magic beside that, using the same stuff over and over again can get boring after awhile.

Sure, Chaos Magic is basically all-in-one kind of magic but the journal said if someone frequently uses it, it doesn't only affect the caster body, both physical and mentally, but also affect the area surrounding it. Leaving a magical residue so thick to the point it start affecting other live form, ranging from preventing plants to grow, altering wild animals behavior to all out mutation to both mind and body. The ambient magic also becomes unstable and tended to go haywire when someone casted a spell around the affected area resulting the spell going dud or react violently.

But since we are in the Everfree forest, the magic here works a bit different with the one outside the forest I can use my magic with no side affect because said forest is basically a giant suppressor for any form of magic, other than ambient magic, but for some reason I still can use my Chaos Magic, same goes for Asriel and Nox, I guess we’re just that powerful. I’m also worried if the Celestial Sister can’t use any magic, it would be a hassle for them.

Mentally commanding the book to flip another layer of it, I read what kind of spell this page contains, almost lost my mental grip on the book. I swear I could feel my eye getting wider as a diner plate as soon my eye landed on the spell name. I mouthed an 'oh' as a respond to my newly discovered spell, thankfully the taco I was munching on is already on its way toward the pool of acid below. Turns out this journal not only contain everyday and combat spells, it also has a bit more...explicit spells, for example these four spells I just discovered.

'Anthropomorphic

'Reverse Gender'

'Hermaphrodite'

'Stamina Boost'

I would like to point out that the last spell I mention is actually a support/buff spell but with how 'conveniently' it take place, even an idiot would know what it'll be use for. Oh and the other three spells has sketches that pictures what it does, complete with the private parts for the reader to see.

I almost tempted to cast the anthro spell on the sleeping alicorns and griffoness. The fact that said griffoness is purring doesn’t help me a bit.

Shaking my head to get rid of the naughty idea, I move my hand as if I was closing a book in a fast rate making the journal snapped shut with a loud 'Thud'. With a flick of my wrist, I sent the book flying across the horizon with a 'Yeet' sound effect, probably breaks through the atmosphere and float around in the outer space.

Whatever, all I need to get that book back is a simple snap of my fingers.

Sighing loudly, I look up toward the sky filled with countless stars to distract my mind from my lately discovery. I wont be using those three spells anytime soon, can't think of any real reason to cast it. Scratching the sleeping griffoness like a cat rewarded me with a soft purring form her. Heh kinda reminded me of my cat when I was a kid.

Bless his soul for not taking a dump in my house, cant say the same with the neighbors's lawn though.

"A Demon that admiring the beauty of the world rather than destroying it? Such thing is truly a rare sight to be witness." I heard heard a voice said, with how many time I watch the show I can tell that it was Celestia who said that.

I let out a silent tch 'I thought she falls asleep already.' "What, just because I'm a self proclaimed Dream Demon that doesn't mean that I have to act like those low tiered demons." hey if I'm going down in to the history page, might as well act like the real deal or close enough to it. "I'm not much of a fan when it comes to destruction and conquering stuff. I'm more of making a deal demon type unlike those Demon Lord who busy conquering stuff and stuffing themselves with ‘thousands of innocent souls as they say."

"So you take souls from innocent pony in exchange for what they desire?"

"Eh, more or less. Money, fame, power, riches anything your heart desire as long you have something for return. I'm not always looking for a soul to steal since its pretty much useless for me. Beside I like to take matters into my own hands, its so much fun rather than commanding someone to deal it for me"

“Are you planing on killing us when we’re asleep?”

“Nah it would be too easy, there is no fun doing that. It would be a waste of time, when I wanted to conquer a kingdom or anything for that matter I would challenge the ruler for 1 on 1 duel. Since I can see a lot of potential in you, might as well left you until you’re fully grown up and ready to battle.”

“Are you saying that I’m weak, Demon?” she asked harshly.

“Yes.” I answered with a smug smile “You can’t even defeat a low tier chaos user, imagine what would happen when you fight against a Master of Chaos, me.” She went silent, probably picturing what would I do to her, her sister and her subject “Not a pretty thing ain’t it?”

“I suppose so.” She sighed “What are you going to do with that griffon?”

“I was thinking about turning her in to the nearest guard post but the nearest one is on the village next to the border, on the other side of the forest.” I said the last part with clear irritation. “Why don’t you catch some sleep, don’t worry I won’t harm you or your sister, Demon Swear.”

“Demon Swear?” she asked, head tilted to the side a small bit.

“It’s a swear meaning that we must hold on to our words or we lose our honor.” No its not, I completely made that up. “You know us demon with our honor. No honor no pride.”

She snorted, lying down beside her sister “Touch an inch of our manes and I’ll personally send you the sun.” she threaten before closing her eyes.

‘As if you can do that to a Chaotic creature, whatever. If she do that I’ll just make every cake she eat turn in to ashes right in front of her.’

“I appreciate what you did to my sister, she can be a nuisance with how loud she can snore.” I heard Celestia says before went out like a light with a small smile on her muzzle.

Hearing her said that while wearing that smile set off a weird feeling inside my belly, its feels like someone tickling your stomach from the inside and something warm crawling its way upward. What is this feeling that I felt?­ I feel something raging inside of me like a flaming hot fire making my abdomen feels like a furnace. Is this what people feel when someone fall in love with others? Is this love that I fe-

‘Ppppfffffttttt’

Nope, it’s the taco that I ate earlier, with how much Tabasco that I put on it, it may have given me a stomachache with a side effect of explosive diarrhea. Speaking of shit suddenly I have an urge to take a dumb, not wanting to make a mess here I choose to follow what my guts is telling me to do.

Conjuring a fluffy pillow, I gently remove the griffoness’s head from my lap and move it on the ridiculously comfortable looking pillow. After setting her down I gave her a warm blanket so that she doesn’t catch a cold, despite being covered in fur, a small smile touched my lips when she snuggle in to the cover while letting a small sigh and still wearing that small smile on her beak.

I walk toward the edge of the giant pillar, I decided to test if I take fall damage from this high. Without a jump, I drop down from the risen ground while standing up as if I’m still on the ground. With a loud ‘Thud’ I landed at the bottom, making a small mist of dust around me.

I barely felt the pain when I landed, must be the work of magic or my legs are tough as a concrete. I guess being turned in to Bill makes my body stronger, speaking of that I guess that also affected my mind and emotion, I don’t feel any fear or hesitation when I drop down from above, I hope that it doesn’t remove sympathy or something important from my feeling/emotion list.

Walking up to the biggest tree nearby, I snapped my fingers to make a portable toilet appears out of thin air. The interior of it is not so different compared to the one back home, entering it with my journal that I called back at the same time I conjured the toilet, I went in, pull down my pants and dealt with my business while also reading more spell.

You know what, enough with the spell, I rather not find out other spell that has something to do with certain kind of activity. Instead I began researching on the potion brewing part, I want to know how to make healing potion for emergency, don’t want accidentally corrupt someone with Chaos Magic now do we?

I’m positive by the time I am done taking a dump, every living creature nearby will be dead because how smells my craps are.


Up above the raised ground, a certain griffoness happily tucked in a incredibly soft and warm blanket making her snuggle more on the comfortable fabric. Its been ages since she rested this peacefully, everyday she forced to participate on raiding a town or hijacking a merchant’s caravan as a healer on her team. Being one of the best healer in the guild, not to mention one of the five, has affected her sleep schedule, healing a huge amount of the guild’s members also added a burden on her back.

She was expecting quick bits by joining the guild but in reality she barely gained any by working with them. Three meals a day, if you can call a piece of bread with molds and bowl of stew that taste like barf a meal, and a place to sleep, a worn out blanket that has hole and pillow as hard as a rock, is better than the wilderness of the Everfree.

It’s all that minotaur’s fault, promising her a buck tons of bits by joining a guild full of ‘professional’ Adventures. Being a lone Healer is pretty hard to take down quest from the Town Hall, there is no D or C rank quest either thanks to that cursed God of Chaos for summoning high levels creatures, making her live harder that it already is. 

She was a bout to gave up on adventuring and find another job, her father is right she wouldn't make a good Healer. He suggested that she should be a Warrior or something that center around damage inducing but the memories of her deceased mother told her other wise so she choose to be a Healer like her instead of other barbaric class that her father wants.

Of course she know that griffin can't cast magic like unicorns did so she use a staff that given by her mother before passing away called Ancient Oak Spiritstaff. Her mother says that it is pass on from generation to generation and it was used during the Demon War, it even has its own legend, to others eyes it maybe an average staff made out of basic materials, a simple wood as a handle and a green crystal to focus the magic. But little does every living souls know that this is not a mere staff, it has a vast amount of magic that hasn't been unlocked by anyone yet, legend say that it could bring heal any injuries, break an unbreakable curse, and revive those who had died.

So with that the young griffoness went her way and became a Healer, much to her father displeasure. Making a mountain out of a molehill, they both got into fight than ended with her father disowning her and kick her out of the house.

The first week of living on her own is quiet harsh, she don't have much friends to support her either. She's been doing some easy quest, most of them doesn't require to put her life in danger like delivering a package, looking for a lost pet, or defeating low level monster.

Its not a great life but it'll do, she also train everyday to became more powerful so that she can tackle higher quest other than F rank quests. Griffon Kingdom isn't the best place for a Healer like her to train. Yes, the kingdom is indeed famous because many great Warriors and Knights came from there and on par with the Minos.

Of course there is a few places for an Adventurer like her to train her magic but on the other side of the Celestial Sea lies a kingdom where powerful Wizards, Mages and Sorcerers studies, Equestria. Ruled by two powerful beings who can control both the sun and the moon, rumor says that the Goddesses them selves came down from the heaven to rule the kingdom. No wonder that there are many powerful magic caster.

She made a solid plan to study more healing magic there and unlock the hidden power that the staff has. Working her flank off she finally made enough bits to travel across the sea, she still remembers the trip on the ship.

She mostly spend her time on the crownest of the ship, she loves the way winds swept across her face and fur, the smell of the sea and the faint sound of crackling from the burning wood.

Wait what?

The sound becomes louder every second, there was a bright orange light ahead of her. She groggily opens her eyes and the light blinded her, a hiss of pain comes from her beak, she lifts her right talon to block the light, it took her a moment to adjust to the sudden brightness.

Realizing that she was lying near fireplace, she thought that she must doze off at some point and her ‘team mates’ decided to leave her be, letting her sleep outside while they’re snoozing in their tents without a care about her well being.

Again.

With a sigh she lie back down on the cold ground, her head rest on the puffy pillow and warp her body in a soft and warm blanket.

Wait, blanket and pillow? Her companions never gave her anything when she goes to sleep, not even a piece of fabric to cover her body from the cold night wind. She had to make use of what surrounded her, leafs that arranged like a blanket to keep her warm and a rock for a pillow, not that much different from what she got in the guild.

She quickly sat up and saw what she had been using in her sleep, a brand new blanket covered the lower parts of her and a snow white fluffy pillow. Who gave her these stuff? It couldn’t be her team mates or some other members of the guild because they are bunch self centered jerks.

A soft snore drew her attention, looking to her left she see a white goat kid curled up sleeping while sucking his own thumb, she never seen a goat in her life before but she sure that goats don’t have fingers, she chalk this up as a mix between minotaur and goat. The minotaur-goat child wore a long sleeved clothing with green and yellow stripes, while the lower part covered by a black colored fabric.

It kinda reminds her of the bipedal goat from her nightmare, Asriel if she remembers correctly. She still remember those head of her ‘comrades’ screaming in horror and pain. She shake those terrible thoughts away, cast it aside in to depth of her minds.

Near the goat child lies a dark figure that made her blood runs cold, it was the same black and blue creature in her nightmare, he even has the same changeling nymph sleeping right on top of the glowing blue circle on his chest.

After seeing the same being form her ‘nightmare’ she frantically search for the third one. Sighing in relief that the yellow one is nowhere to be seen, but there is bigger problem than the Yellow Terror.

There on her left side are both rulers of Equestria, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, sleeping soundly. She forces herself to hold back a giggle at the sight of Princess of the Night is sucking on a pacifier but this is not a laughing matter.

Being a member of the Flaming Talons guild means that you’re a criminal, even if you haven’t done any crime yet. She never intended to join the guild but that stupid minotaur tricked her to it. Spending the rest of her life behind the bars is never on her bucket list.

Slowly rise form her sitting position, she unfolded her wings to take off. With a one mighty flap of her wing she ro-

"I wouldn't be doing that if I were you."

That voice made her body freeze like a block of ice, flopped down down like a statue that has been thrown away, face first in to the ground. An amused snort comes from behind her, that voice must be holding back a laugh because how stupid she look.

"You should know better that flying at night in the Everfree forest, there might be hydras looking for a midnight snack." he chuckled.

The griffoness slowly turn her head around, there he is at the edge of the ground she is one wearing a smile huge that showed sharp rows of teeth, one hand propped his head while the other idly tapping the ground. His only eye open wide and the pupil is the size of a pinprick, making him look like a maniac.

"Say, why don't you stay a bit longer and have a chat?" his voice sent a jolt down the griffin spine, making her look like she is staring at a cockatrice "Its not like you don't have any choice, you could go all alone finding your way out from this forest for all I care. I'm just telling you that we're in the deeper part of it, just keep your guard up and you probably don't end up as a Timberwolf dinner."

Deeper part of the Everfree forest? The farthest she had been in the forest is the guild and that is not that deep, the building is just well hidden. She heard the rumor about the guild is in the deepest part of the Everfree forest but in truth its just a three our walk form the edge.

Bill, if she remember correctly, raise one of his hand and snap it making a table with two cups and a teapot on top of it. She suddenly found herself sitting on one side of the table and him on the other side, no longer wearing that creepy face.

"How about a cup of tea?" he asked with a genuine smile.


During my 'thinking time' I realize that we're in Equestria that we don't know much about, sure it will be the same in the show, probably, and we need some info about this world. Maybe that griffoness can be useful, she might know some common knowledge, that is if she doesn't have some kind of trauma I left behind after my performance, I'm pretty sure I just scarred her life with that.

I could use the same trick as Bill use when he meet Ford the first time, maybe not with the inter-dimensional chest game thing, just a simple cup of tea to relax her nerves. But is it okay to use my magic to make tea? everyone that use Chaos Magic instantly lose their mind or something like that, no wonder its been outlaw for it to be use, same goes with Shadow, Dark and other sketchy sounding magics.

Thinking back at when I found out that the Everfree forest is one giant magic suppressor and still I can use my magic, there could be a chance that the tiniest Chaos Magic from me could make her mind go bye-bye, but in the other hand we're quite deep in the forest there is a possibility that every item that I summoned has a small amount of Chaos Magic that probably gonna disperse as soon I conjure. I guess its alright as long I dont give her too much of that stuff.

Sure we have both of the princesses of Equestria but asking them might spout a seed of suspicious, why would three powerful being want to know about the world that they're on, not to mention that one of them is a self proclaimed Dream Demon, even an idiot would know that they're going to conquered the world.

So our best choice is the griffoness, she might be limited information but its the best we got. Maybe I can strike a deal with her, if I remember she is one of the Flaming Talons guild and Chrysalis said that the princesses are looking for them. In exchange for information I can guarantee her protection from getting thrown in to the dungeon by the Royal Sister, that and add us to our little party for the adventure ahead.

We didn't plan to staying on one place and have a life there like those fanfic where the protagonist stay in Ponyvile and start a family and what not, beside its a hundred year away from the show timeline, it'll be one hell of a boring century so why not go travel around the world? Its not planet Earth where everything is already discovered, we got a new world ahead full of magic and things that we thought it was just a myth, it would be quite a waste if we dont get to sightseeing things.

Plus our original plan is totally fucked up because Sun Butt and Moon Booty knew who we're and probably send all of the god damn Royal Guards after us because little ol' Dissy gave Chaos User a bad impression, the fact that I am a self proclaim Dream Demon and Asriel is the Prince of Monster of the Underground World.

The Merchant said there is a way to travel to planet Earth, not the same Earth where we're born but its still Earth. The question is how the heck did we suppose to find 'da wey' to travel trough dimension? is there some kind of ancient gate way that only open once every century? or we have to build our own inter dimensional portal gate way like in the Gravity Fall? nah that would require the other two journals in order to build it, beside I don't see any blue prints about a portal in my journal.

Enough drifting away from the topic, Ahem, anyway after I'm done taking care of my business I went up and check on the griffoness, turns out she already awake and ready to take off. From my gaming experience, walking around in a incredibly dangerous forest at night can lead you to your death. So I give her a little advice with a forced smile.

For those who don't know, I'm known as an antisocial person. Because I rarely talk to other people I often gave a creepy forced smile to make people feel uncomfortable and eventually leave me alone, but this time I scared the griffin to the core, you can see her basically shaking like a leaf.

So here I am, pouring a cup of tea with my magic while the griffoness sat on the other side of the table. Said griffin is still shaking like a child that witness the monster under their bed came up and grab their legs. I move the teapot to my cup and pour the same amount of tea as hers.

I mentally open the How-To guide to Basic Social Interaction book, step number one : introduce your self.

I cleared my throat and she jumped at the sudden sound. "So, fist thing first. Hi my name is Bill Cipher the self proclaimed Dream Demon, Master of Chaos and Minds, nice to make your acquaintance." I said, extending my arm for a hand shake.

She just stared at my hand for a moment before grabbing it with her shaking talons and mumble something.

"Care to repeat that?"

She mumbled a bit louder than before but I can barely hear it.

"A little bit louder if you can." Jeez who is she, Fluttershy ancestor?

"I'm Gerindha."

"Gerindha huh? what a nice name." I took a sip of my tea "Say, what a young pretty griffon like you doing in the Everfree forest?" hey I'm not trying to hit on her, I'm just calming her down.

She made a little squeak and a small blush adorned her cheek, great the last thing I need is she thinks that I'm flirting with her "I-I was ordered to bring back any valuable items because the guild is running low on healing item." she said, head hanging low.

"The Flaming Talons guild I assume?" she nodded "Ah the guild that full of criminals, I'm guessing that you're one of them right?"

"N-no I'm not one of them, I w-was tricked into joining them. I-I-I didn't know that it was a criminals guild, I want to do is make a living and study Healing Magic in Equestria." She sobbed "All I wanted is to be a great Healer like my mother."

So she has nothing to do with them? Well, a Healer is a important part of a party, with out them there is only a few items to heal mid battle, HP potion for example which I just learn how to make them earlier. The guild is also full of bandits which mostly being greedy or ignorant people who cares nothing more than money, most of them probably just an muscle heads so being a magic caster and alchemy is out of the picture.

"So in other word you want out from this mess?" I said and she nodded "Well I was going to turn you in to the nearest post guard for threatening me and my family so-"

I didn't get to finish it because she jumps over the table, warp her talons around my chest and buried her face in to it. Gerindha lift her face, tears streak down her cheeks and honestly I felt like my heart like breaking apart because how freaking sad she is.

"Please don't take me there, I'll do anything for you!" She begged, tears streaming down "You're a demon right? Then make me your servant but please don't turn me in!" then she buried her head back to my chest making it damp because of her tears.

'wait wut?'

Since when did become a demon servant is better than getting imprisonment? I thought Equestria is the equivalent to the Medieval Age back on earth, but not the same as the one in the show, perhaps that past pony land is the same with Dark Age? If that is the case there should be slavery and what not, meaning that if you became a slave that means that you don't have the right to be called a human, or something like that, y'know having the right to decide what should and what shouldn't we do by our self.

But isn't being a demons servant basically the same as being someone property? Well this demon isn't going to be like other demons who like to destroy stuff and enslave people, this demons just looking for someone to make a deal. Or she wasn't thinking right and desperately looking for a way out.

Sighed, I try to calm her down. Stroking her head like a child and patting her back "Shhh, its alright, its okay. I wont take you there." her sob died down but still choking on her breath "Everything its going to be fine."

After a minute or so she pulled back form my wet chest, still sniffing "I-I'm sorry, its just that-" "Shhh, there is no need to explain." I cut her off.

I reach to my jacket pocket and, somehow, pulled out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears. "Now, how about we talk, I get it that you want to leave the guild behind and avoid getting branded as a criminal, yes?" she shyly nodded "Well I guess I can help you with that."

Her emotion did a completely one eighty, she immediately brights up. Her eyes staring at mine with full of hope "Really?"

"Yes really, but of course there will be a price to pay." Nope, she went back to depression mode again.

"So what did you want from me?" She asked with a solemn tone "My blood? My soul? or..." she trailed off, fidgeting on my lap "My body?"

'Girl, yes I think you're cute but not in 'I want to put my dick in it' way, more like 'omg I want to cuddle it' way.'

"No, nothing like that. You see me and my brother are foreign to this land thus we dont know anything about it." I lied "So what I want from you is some information about it, and in return I'll let you free after we get out from this forest. Of course the princesses wouldn't agree with me and will try to capture you, but that is not part of the deal, unless you want to."

"Y-yeah sure, just keep me away from being locked up."

"Hmm, are you sure? I'll have to crank the price up a bit for that." she nodded "Well then, how about you come with us in our little adventuring plan, don't worry we won't make you to act like a slave or meat shield, we will treat you like a family."

"But can you stand against the princesses? They are demigoddess that can control the sun and moon, there is no way that you can beat them up!" she said.

I just simply chuckled "Dear, don't judge a book by its cover, I may not look like a powerful demon but I'm practically a god. And you see the goat child there? He is the god of Hyperdeath or Angel of Death, whatever roll off with you tongue. And finally that guy with he changeling is the strongest Xelor." Her jaw, or beak, touched the ground after I introduce my brothers and myself. "So you think Celestia and Luna still have a chance against us?"

She simply shook her head.

"Great now back to the matter at hand. So here is the deal, we will protect you and keep you away from getting thrown in to the dungeon, in return you will tell us what you know about the land we're on and follow us in our adventure, and to be fair we wont treat you like a slave or a luggage but you have to carry your own weight. Do we have a deal?" I said, extending out my right hand, blue fire covering it in an instant, the fire pit that once glowed like any other fire became blue like the fire on my hand, making the atmosphere a little bit more mysterious.

She gulped, raising her right talon and hesitantly grab mine. She closed her eyes, probably expecting the pain from the blue fire which never came. She open one of her eyes to see me wearing a smile, her talon connected to mine and gave it a little shake.

"The deal has been made."

I pulled my hand away from her and she did the same, the blue flame fizzled out and the fire pit revert back to its previous color.

"You can talk about the information that I want when we get to the village, for now just take a rest because tomorrow we will be venture deeper in to the forest."

She just nodded, probably still processing what just happen, and curled up...

Right on my damn lap.

Well I'm not complaining am I?

Snapping my fingers to make the table and tea set disappear, I start to scratch her neck making her purr. I make a 'come forth' gesture with my other free hand, making the book float toward me. Now where did I left off.

Author's Note:

Sorry everyone for the late update.