• Published 15th Feb 2018
  • 3,653 Views, 180 Comments

Dadonequus Discord, But It's The MLP Movie (And still doesn't have Discord) - CrazedLaughter



The "Hero Colt" Anon finds himself within the events of the MLP movie and tries to win the day in his own way. Of course, like everything else he does, this doesn't go at all like he plans

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Chapter 1: The Attack on Canterlot

Author's Note:

The chapter is small, I know.

This is mostly just a test chapter to see if it garners interest or if it should be cancelled. We'll see.

It was just another day.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t this time. No, for today was the day of the Friendship Festival.

Well, the second one anyway. This one being held in Canterlot. And this time? The scope for it was huge. Everyone that was anyone was going to be there. Including some pony celeb named Songbird Serenade…..Who the fuck was that? You still had no idea.

As for you? Well, you weren’t there of course. You should be, as you promised your dear Aunt Fluttershy you’d fill in for one of her birds for her little bird choir. But just as you always do, you slept in.

“Unnngh” You rolled to your side on your bed as you let out a soft groan “What time is it?” You take a look at your alarm clock.

Your eyes go wide when you notice it’s about to be noon. HOLY SHIT! YOU WERE LATE! “GODFUCKING DAMMIT!” You jump out of bed immediately and rush up to the clock, smacking it with your right front hoof “YOU STUPID THING! WHY DIDN’T YOU RING?!” You yell at the object uselessly until you notice another minute pass, making you panic. “FUCK! Dammit! I promised her I’d be there. Dammit! DAMMIT! I don’t even have time to practice! The day show starts in less than half an hour….ok..wait..ok...calm down...just…” You do your best to calm yourself as you look upon your necklace which contained the source of your power, the horn. “Juuuust do a little warm up. She can’t start the show without me so I can push it just a little. Let’s see”

You grab your saddle bag as you walk over to the mirror. You then slap the horn on your head.

Not wanting to waste any time, you zap yourself with your chaotic magic. “Classy” You grin at yourself as a black suit with a red bowtie appears on you. “Ok...let’s make sure I cast this right”

You tap at the bowtie, causing it to flash in a brilliant light as your body instantly transforms into that of a blue jay. “Haha!” You laughed in triumph “It workeAAAGH!” But you had forgotten that birds to need to flap their wings to fly. The transformation had left you in mid air, and thus, without wing movement, you drop like a rock right on your soft bird head. “T-typical...what a way to start the day.”

After a quick recovery, you hover upwards as you stare upon yourself through the mirror. After adjusting yourself enough, you begin to tweet and sing what you had previously learned from your aunt for a good five minutes. “Not perfect, but the other birds should be able to carry me through...anyway” With your practice done, you tap at your little bowtie, changing you back to your cute self.

You walk over to your portal door and set the dial to Canterlot. Before you open the door however, you take a moment to look back at the pictures on your dresser, of you and Chrysalis. “Would have been nice if you could of come. Take care Chrysalis, wherever you are”. You still hadn’t seen her since her escape from the basement. She hasn’t even tried any kind of evil scheme yet. The part of you that was her friend made you wonder if she was at least ok.

And then there was Discord, you’d think he’d at least show up for this. But nope, the moment he realized this was Twilight’s shindig he decided to make off on some month long vacation. At least you had the house to yourself.

“I’ll be right there Aunt Fluttershy, just give me a minute and….wut?” As you open the door to Canterlot, you notice the area seemed darker than usual. And there was all kinds of squealing and screaming coming from the other side of the door. You took a moment to look back at your alarm clock.


“What? It’s just about to be noon, for sure. No way it could be dark out now.” This you were sure of, the clock literally followed the day and night cycle of Equestria itself. There was no way it could be wrong. Welp you were fucked since somehow it was, you decide to just rush through the door and find Fluttershy and hope to god the OTHERS forgive you since you knew she would in a heartbeat.

But what you saw upon entering the other side sent you into immediate shock. The darkness wasn’t the night but rather crazy storm clouds that rolled from the very horizon. Even worse there were ponies screaming in terror as crazy beasts with blackish gray fur and what you can only describe as some sort of mask like face were grabbing them and throwing them into cages. What the fuck happened?

Before you could even figure anything out, crazy beasts were jumping off from the nearby homes and castle walls towards the pegasi trying to get away. And worst still, one had spotted you and immediately gave chase. “SHIT!” You cry out as you instinctively tap at your bowtie. The flash causes the beast to stop and look around confused as you fly higher to try to figure out what the fuck was going on, and more importantly, spot Fluttershy.

But what you see is the craziest thing you’ve seen in Equestria yet. There was a rather familiar airship parked in front of the castle. No...it couldn’t be. Could these creatures be mutants? And furthermore, you notice some odd grey furred hedgehog with whitish quilles and an odd shirt looking rather worried about something as he heads to the castle. But the worst part was that you not only didn’t spot Fluttershy, but none of the important cast was about. Where was the mane 6? Where was Twilight? Where the fuck were the princesses?!

That airship...this chaos...it could only mean one thing. “Holy fuck, Neo Cortex somehow jumped dimensions and took his mutant army to conquer whatever dimension he could easily conquer. I didn’t even think game universes existed. Ngh...He probably has Fluttershy and the others. And are keeping the ponies in cages to turn them into mutants. That bastard! I’m gonna rearrange his fucking face!”

You dive down towards the hedgehog as he heads into the castle. Considering he was different from the other beasts, he had to be a “boss” or whatever. He was probably going to go meet with Cortex. With one charge left in your horn, you would make sure to make it count by blowing his ass into smithereens.

You fly in close as he walks the now darkened halls towards the throne room. He seemed to be getting more nervous as he trekked along to his destination. Did he fuck something up? Was he going to report some bad news or something? You notice he brought out some cupcake from his pocket and started to munch on it as he muttered to himself “Wow, Tempest isn’t gonna like this. Eh, nah. She’ll be alright, we got three of them already. Capturing that purple one is gonna be as easy as cake...speaking of” He looks upon his cupcake with hungry eyes and takes another bite. “Ahh yeah, that’s the stuff”

“Purple one? Three out of four? But...there’s six. Seven if you include Spike” You whisper to yourself.

“Hey! Who’s there?!” The hedgehog looked back and around, making you zip to the side as to hide from his searching eyes. “Nothing, come on Grubber, don’t get nervous. It’s just a bad report. It’ll be fine. Totally…”

Grubber? He didn’t sound german. Usually they have more of a gimmicky name than that. But, it seemed he was in fact heading for the throne room. And so you once again follow until he reaches the doors. Once he steps through, you land behind the doors and tap at your bowtie to transform back into a pony.

Alright, so he’s beyond that door. “Ok…” You slap your horn upon your head, and psyche yourself up for a fight. “Mess with my Aunt will you? Well then, I’m gonna smash your “gems” and snap your “crystal” in half, you psychotic fuck”

Wasting no time, you make your grand entrance into the darkened throne room. But it was nothing of what you expected. No lab, no tech, no evil black mask or scientist. No, rather there were three unsettling statues of the princesses placed in a particular way while Grubber and a dark purple pony adorned in modern looking armor and broken horn stared at you.

“...Shit…”