6
6
Spike went about his usual chores in the early morning. The library might have been replaced by a massive castle, but his job certainly hadn’t increased in difficulty. In truth, the crystalline surfaces of their new abode made cleaning far simpler. The difficulties of cleaning conventional materials had all been replaced by the simple task of dusting in most cases. Slime and grime found no purchase on the smooth perfection of the walls, and what little did accumulate could be rinse out with a hose or burned out with fire with no damage to the crystal. As far as Spike could tell, the walls only took damage from magical blasts and extreme physical stress, and were easily repaired.
He felt a slight twinge of pride at the prospect that he’d finish his work before lunch. If he avoided Twilight again, he wouldn’t even need to help with her personal tasks. Of course, he’d been avoiding her too much lately. Sighing, he finished brushing the little bit of dust from a mantle. He needed to try talking to her again; they’d never been angry at one another for this long, and they certainly never made a point to avoid each other.
Every time he thought of conceding his beliefs on the issues he had brought up, though, he felt his blood run hotter than the fire in his soul. He was never one for conflict, outside of his fantasies as a charming hero, but this issue was one of honor and heritage. He owed it to his kind, as well as to the species he was ambassador to on behalf of Equestria, to help ensure they had a place in Celestia’s vision of a world united.
But… but maybe it was time to let things die down a little. Keep the topic afloat, but hold back on the passion. “Be the bigger pony,” as the saying went.
With that motivation, Spike finished his work and set about looking for the closest thing he had to a mother. After roughly ten minutes of searching, the dragon began to recall the simpler times before the castle, where it was impossible to get lost in his home. The library… the dorm… So much cozier. Then he – quite literally – bumped into Starlight Glimmer’s flank.
“WHO THE-” the unicorn whirled around, then calmed down, “Oh, it’s you, Spike. Didn’t Twilight ever teach you not to bump into mare’s flanks?”
“S-sorry!” the dragon backed up, blushing profusely, “I-I was daydreaming and wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
“Have I been there!” Starlight giggled, “Back in Our Town, I used to daydream a lot! Of course, those dreams were usually about stealing the Princesses’ Cutie Marks…”
“Dream big or not at all, I guess…” Spike murmured, slightly disturbed.
They stood there, awkwardly, before Starlight gave voice to a question burning in her mind. She sat on her haunches.
“I’m just curious, so don’t take this the wrong way, but… why have you been studying dragons more, lately?”
“Huh?” Spike returned to looking at Starlight, “Oh, uh… I don’t know. I just have this desire to know more about my roots, you know? I mean, I’ve always had this identity crisis going on, and I thought I had it solved months ago, but I’m not so sure.”
“You wonder who your parents are, don’t you?” the unicorn asked, her tone sad but not pitying.
“Yeah,” Spike nodded, then remembered something from when he helped Twilight defeat her, “If you don’t mind me asking… what happened to your parents?”
“Oh,” Starlight sat straighter, “I, uh… I never knew them. I guess you could say I’m an orphan, but since I don’t know what happened to them, I can’t be sure they’re dead.”
“Wow,” Spike mumbled, “we do have a lot in common…”
“Yeah,” Starlight gave Spike a soft smile, “we do.”
“Why don’t we hang out more?” Spike wondered aloud, “You’re a really cool person, but it seems like the only ponies I hang out with are Rarity, Twilight, and Big Mac.”
“Maybe we should fix that,” Starlight stood up, grinning, “Trixie’s magic show is tonight, so she’s busy doing some kind of personal ritual. I’m trying to distract myself from the fact I’m going on stage tonight.”
“You, the former leader of Our Town, have stage fright?” Spike smirked, “I heard you had a choreographed song-and-dance set up for visitors!”
“It was more of a march than a song-and-dance,” Starlight chuckled, quietly, “but this is completely different! I’m Trixie’s assistant! I could mess up everything with one mistake, ruining her show! Why did she plan it for a Friday the 13th, anyway?! Do you have any idea how hard it is to have that over your head? To be an assistant to a great and powerful magician, knowing that you could ruin her work with the slightest error?!”
Spike gave her a deadpan look and the unicorn remembered exactly whose Number One Assistant she was asking.
“Oh yeah,” she chuckled, nervously, “you do.”
“Starlight, listen,” Spike smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder, “the most important rule about being an assistant is to keep a level head and do what your boss tells you to. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and sometimes Twilight gets mad, but does that mean I quit? No. You just need to calm down and go out there saying ‘even if I fail, I’ll just train harder so I don’t fail the next time’.”
“Wow,” Starlight blinked, feeling surprisingly soothed by the young dragon’s words, “that’s... thank you, Spike.”
“It also helps to distract yourself before an important assignment,” the dragon winked, giving a mischievous grin.
“Well, if that’s the case,” Starlight giggled, “let’s get lunch.”
“Sounds gr-” Spike began, then stopped, “Oh, right. I was going to talk to Twilight so we could sort out… this.”
“Oh… yeah…” Starlight’s ears drooped, “Spike, can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“Have you ever had strong ideas for politics?” the unicorn asked, “Like, really radical changes you want to make because you absolutely believe they’ll make the world better?”
“Until recently, I’ve never even thought about politics,” Spike confessed, “I mean, I’m only about fourteen in pony years, and still considered a baby by most dragons.” After a moment, Spike furrowed his brow, “At least… I think I’m fourteen…”
“Well, after Sunburst left, I began studying politics and law. Small stuff at first, since I was only a filly, and by the time I was a teenager I was creating my own ideas and quit bothering to study. I like to think I came up with some good ideas, but some of them were… half-baked,” Starlight sighed, “I’ve been tweaking my old manifesto, trying to perfect it with stuff I’ve learned as Twilight’s student, and now with the stuff you’ve been saying about races and protective laws. Yet…”
She trailed off, unsure if she had lost the dragon in her rambling or not.
“Go on,” Spike nodded, encouragingly.
“After you left, Rainbow Dash sneered at my ideas for equality,” Starlight continued, “It reminded me of when I was just starting down this path; I’d always try to convince ponies of the need for change, but they would just laugh at my ideas and the say the current system worked fine. They didn’t care that there were unsupervised orphans living in their midst! They didn’t care that a fraction of ponies held all the wealth and power! They didn’t care about what was fair, because they had families! They had wealth! They had happiness!”
Starlight stopped, suddenly, catching her breath and clenching her eyes shut. When she opened them, she realized she was crying. Just as suddenly, Spike rushed into her chest and hugged her, deeply. Her painful emotions stopped, her shock overriding upset. Gradually they returned, but dimmed by the dragon’s compassion. She returned the hug after a moment.
“You don’t know what it’s like…” she continued, much quieter, “You don’t know what it’s like to want a better world, to struggle every day to convince those around you it can be done, always persecuted. You don’t know what it’s like to make a mistake, a mistake so big it discredits everything you believe in, and then have to live with that humiliation. I can never voice my beliefs again. No pony wants to hear them.”
“Maybe not a pony,” Spike said, pushing away and looking up at her, “but a dragon might.”
“Aren’t dragons inclined to hoarding?” Starlight asked, allowing a small smirk on her lips, “Equal distribution of wealth doesn’t sound like a good idea for the Dragon Lands.”
“So we tweak that idea,” Spike suggested, “How about… equality of opportunity, rather than equality of wealth?”
“What would that look like?” Starlight asked, starting the walk to find Twilight.
“Hmm…” the dragon tapped his chin, “Well, let’s see…”
As they searched for Twilight, Starlight posed political queries to Spike and listened as he sketched out his ideas. She noted flaws in his ideas, in his speech, his delivery, his image, and suggested corrections that helped him improve remarkably. She gave examples of proper oratory, quoting bits of her old rhetoric or scripture she found inspiring. She demonstrated how to stand in such a way that it both commanded respect from authority, but also inspired a sense of comradeship with the common pony. She made sure Spike understood how to defend his ideas from scrutiny. By the time they reached Twilight’s library, they were exchanging political theories and reinforcing their arguments. Starlight found herself laughing with pleasure.
“Spike, you’re really sharp!” she giggled, “I can see why you’re the Friendship Ambassador to two lands; you have a real head for politics.”
“They only put me in that position because I was already friends with their leaders,” Spike snorted, opening the door for Starlight, “I wish I knew more about politics. It’s actually more interesting when you teach it.”
“Well, if you feel that way,” the unicorn mused, “I would be honored if I could teach you everything I know on the subject.”
“What subject?” Twilight revealed herself from behind a stack of books she had been researching, startling her two friends, “Spike, you never told me you were interested in studying something.”
“Oh, well, I just found out, sort of…” Spike wringed his hands.
An awkwardness descended as all three waited for someone to break the ice. Starlight forced a smile on her lips.
“Well Spike, now’s a good time to put those ambassador skills to use,” she laughed at her own joke, eliciting small smiles from her friends.
“Alright,” the dragon chuckled, “Twilight, I just wanted to say… I’m sorry things have gotten so weird between us. I want to go back to the way things were, but at the same time I want you to… I don’t know, acknowledge my concerns, I guess.”
“I do acknowledge them, Spike,” Twilight smiled, getting teary-eyed, “and I’m sorry I said the things I did the other night. They were unfair and uncalled for. I’m just… I’m just having such a hard time opening my mind to the ideas you two have brought up.”
“I understand,” Starlight smiled, sadly, “Most ponies in Equestria have a hard time imagining the kind of world I want. I… I also wanted to say I understand I can’t make the world exactly how I want it, but I think we can change it in a way that every pony – and non-pony – would feel better about.”
“I’m listening,” Twilight nodded, readying herself.
“Oh, I don’t have anything prepared!” Starlight gaped, surprised she was on the spot so soon, “I-I’ve been tweaking my old manifesto, trying to merge my better ideas with Celestia’s teachings and the concerns Spike has. Actually, Spike here has proven very helpful. I might have to include him as a co-author.”
“What?” Spike blinked, “I haven’t really done anything.”
“Our talks on the way up here were actually very inspired and insightful,” Starlight explained, “You’ve given me a lot to consider for the rewrite.”
“I wasn’t aware this was a collaboration between you two,” Twilight chuckled, anxiously, “I… guess I’ve fallen out of the loop, lately.”
“We feel awful about that,” Starlight said, “We were actually going to go to lunch and wondered if you wanted to join us?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to be a third wheel…” Twilight wasn’t entirely lying.
“I guess I misspoke,” the unicorn giggled, “What I meant to say was, we’re going to lunch and we really, really wanted you to come along.”
The Princess smiled and trotted towards her friends. Immediately they all felt much better about the situation. There was a residual feeling of discomfort, but it was suppressed by the relief that they were all on speaking terms again, about to enjoy a day in town. For now, they let their fears of the future rest. As they left, Twilight spared one last look at the stack of books on her table.
Every one of them was a tome of ancient dragon myth and language.
…
“Princess,” Flim began, then corrected himself, “Tia…”
“You’re catching on,” Celestia’s laughter was rich, yet soft, “but while I am your instructor, I would prefer you address me by my appropriate title.”
“Told you,” Flam muttered, stifling a yawn.
“Princess,” Flim restarted, “my brother and I are excited to get started on our lessons…”
“As excited as two stallions can be,” Flam agreed, though tiredness robbed his voice of its usual speed.
“…but we just arrived in Canterlot this morning!” Flim finished, “Flam and I have only had five hours of sleep!”
“I promise this will not be a daily occurrence,” Celestia smiled with motherly affection, “Indeed, I usually encourage my students to enjoy their weekends, but I wanted to take advantage of this Friday to get a feel for how to structure our lesson plan.”
“You’re not even sure what to teach us?” Flam blinked, adjusting to the waking world.
“To be honest, I’ve never attempted to teach business ethics,” the alicorn frowned, “I’ve spent the last few centuries assuming every pony was still following my teachings and that businesses would naturally practice according to them.”
“A bit of an oversight, eh brother?” Flim mused, flinching at Celestia’s scowl, “Um, I mean, let’s begin!”
“Good,” Celestia nodded, “Now, we’re starting with a simple test.”
She led them into the royal courtyard where a wagon of several crates of bottles sat. Beside them stood a pegasus stallion. He had the demeanor and attitude of one of her Royal Guard, but was out of his armor.
“The test is simple and you won’t get in trouble if you do something wrong,” Celestia explained, “I merely wish to see what we’re working with. There are 200 bottles of a delicious fruit punch in the wagon. They were purchased at 2 bits a bottle. Naturally, the objective in business is to turn a profit.” She gestured towards the pegasus. “This is Gutsy Gust, one of the Royal Guard’s finest scouts. He will be watching your every move, but fear not; he is under orders not to interfere, merely to keep records.”
“You just want us to sell these bottles?” Flim furrowed his brow, trying to understand the angle.
“And turn a profit, brother,” Flam added.
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch,” Celestia smiled, “I just want to see how you two practice trade.”
Flim and Flam exchanged one last glance at each other before smiling.
“Don’t you fret, Princess, we’ll astound you!” Flim assured her.
“Amaze you!” Flam agreed.
“We won’t let you down!” they said in unison.
Celestia felt her smile fade as she watched the two trot off with the wagon and Gutsy Gust in tow. She had essentially handed a match to two arsonists. She wanted to trust them, but considering their track record extended to pony city-states outside of Equestria, she was worried they might use her test in such a way that would bring great harm to her city.
Slightly worried, Celestia went about the rest of her Friday duties to kill some time. The mundane meetings she had to attend were much shorter to her, her attention so derailed that the time slipped by and she had to be notified when each meeting was concluded. The entire day went by in a blitz. By sundown, a paranoid Celestia opened the doors to one of her personal sanctums and stopped dead in her tracks, astounded.
Resting atop chests overflowing with bits are the twins who have been driving the Princess mad with anxiety. They are reclining in lawn chairs resting upon the chests, each enjoying a bottle of some fluid. With a start, Celestia realizes the beverages are altered versions of the fruit punch she tasked them with selling.
“What in the name of Equestria did you do?!” Celestia gaped.
“Princess!” both twins grinned, hopping down from their chairs to bow before her.
“What is this?” the Princess asked.
“You told us to turn a profit,” Flim explained.
“So we turned a profit!” Flam laughed.
“Gutsy Gust, report,” Celestia ordered, unable to take her eyes off of the twins.
“Flim and Flam sold a crate of bottles individually, marking up their price 400% and advertising them as directly from Your Majesty’s royal vineyards.”
“I don’t have any vineyards!” Celestia gaped, “There’s not even any grapes in those drinks…”
“They used the proceeds to acquire several barrels and additional crates of bottles they found on clearance,” Gutsy Gust continued, “They proceeded to water down the remaining fruit punch to double the quantity. Using what was left of their initial money, they rented a carbonator to make the drinks bubbly, bottled them, and attached a branded logo to the bottles bearing your likeness. They sold the new drinks at 10 bits a bottle.”
“10 bits?!” Celestia looked horrified, “How many bottles did you sell?!”
“Let’s see…” Flim tapped his chin, “200 bottles, minus a crate of 20…”
“That leaves 180 bottles,” Flam continued, “and Gutsy over here is mistaken – we did not double our stock by watering the original product down!”
“You didn’t?” Celestia asked, sighing in relief.
“We tripled it!” the twins laughed at their brilliance.
“That made 540 bottles,” Flim explained.
“…and 5,400 bits!” Flam chortled.
“Then, when we were sold out, we sold the ‘rights’ to a bottling company for another 10,000 bits!” Flim wiped a tear from his eye, “By the time they realize they didn’t buy anything, we’ll be…”
The twins quit laughing, realizing the next phase of their usual business plan was to skip town – something they couldn’t do, considering they were under the auspices of the Princess and thus stuck in Canterlot.
“Well,” Celestia forced a smile, “I did tell you that you wouldn’t get in trouble…”
“So…” Flim looked over his shoulder at the wealth, “We get to keep the bits?”
“There are a few laws in place over some of the lines you’ve crossed,” Celestia explained, “The 10,000 will have to be returned to the bottling company, but I will talk them out of pressing charges. As for the 5,400 earned from the original supplies, it was quite an ingenious turnaround, and no pony was hurt. However, you used my image without my permission, which is against the law.”
“Oh,” the Flam said as he and his brother deflated, “What exactly is the punishment for that?”
“There are two laws, actually,” Celestia giggled, “The first is for using someone’s likeness or designs without their permission; we do have copyrights and patenting in this country. That’s punishable by lawsuit and heavy fines, possibly even exceeding the profit made if one had the right lawyers.”
The twins gulped, considering Celestia had access to the best lawyers in Equestria and was, technically, in charge of the courts and above the laws.
“And the second law?” Flim asked, worried.
“Using the likeness of a Princess without royal approval,” Celestia mused, smirking, “an archaic law. The punishment is death.”
The stallions gasped.
“Or exile,” Celestia laughed, “But relax; I always thought those punishments excessive. While I can’t save your 10,000 ill-gotten bits, I can drop my personal charges and protect the 5,400 you made.”
“Well, that’s still more than we’ve made in a long time!” Flim said and he and his brother cheered up, immensely.
“I hope you’ve learned that bad business practices will lead ultimately lead to financial ruin,” Celestia explained, “Out of curiosity, if you frequently turn such a profit, why are you two not obscenely wealthy?”
“We lose our bits just as fast,” Flam admitted, almost with pride.
“You have to spend money to make money!” Flim agreed.
“A very shortsighted viewpoint,” Celestia sighed, “I hope that, by educating you in more ethical practices, we can educate the other business-ponies out there and change Equestria’s economy for the better. The enterprising spirit of ponies, tenderly steered by our vision.”
“Kind of takes the ‘free’ out of ‘free market’ though, doesn’t it?” Flam asked.
“I’m not seizing all private enterprises and putting them under state management,” Celestia snorted, “I’m merely regulating the market to keep it from collapse and exploiting the common pony.”
“I’m not sure we feel comfortable with this…” Flim admitted.
“Think of it as a system to help the two of you, as well,” Celestia suggested, “My lessons will help you manage your profits better and foster positive economic connections. Imagine a life where you always have money, where you’re actually welcomed into city-states instead of driven out. It would be… very profitable.”
“Hmm, she does paint a pretty picture…” Flam admitted, staring at the Princess. She smiled at him, and he blushed as he realized she caught him staring.
“Indeed, brother,” Flim agreed, missing his twin’s innuendo as he looked forlornly at their soon-to-be-reduced fortune, “If she’s right, though, we could make five times this amount and hold onto it.”
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Celestia addressed the pair, “what do your Cutie Marks symbolize? Were you faming apples when you earned them?”
“These old things?” Flam said as both brothers displayed their flanks, “We got them together, working on a scheme for bits as colts, involving apples. Near as we can tell, it means our special talent is devising schemes together.”
“So, you are not certain on the matter?” Celestia arched an eyebrow in curiosity.
“Well,” Flim frowned at the question, “we know for certain it means we work best as a duet – we’ve tried solo acts, and they always end in disaster!”
“But I suppose our talent isn’t exclusive to schemes…” Flam admitted, thinking back, “We did put considerable effort into some of our endeavors without cutting corners.”
“And, come to think of it, if our talents were in bit-making,” Flim furrowed his brow, “how come we can’t hold onto money?”
“Perhaps,” Celestia suggested with a smile, “we should consult some Cutie Mark experts.”
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if you think the point of the show is building bridges, and you're going to without political bias from this story, what even is the point of it?
Problem is, if you strike down the ponies nations, you doom the planet. The non pony nations ever think of that?
This is amazing and funny pls make more
A good start I'm liked it. I hope it's does will
8730983
The point is it's a fanfiction? Besides, the endgame I have in mind is supposed to be in the spirit of the show. I mean, MLP is also known for its conflicts, as much as its conflict resolution.
8730987
I'm operating under the assumption that enough time has passed the non-ponies consider most of the doomsday rumors to be overblown. Additionally, let's assume they haven't really thought that far ahead and figure that if/when they take the pony lands, they'll just occupy them. None of them intend extermination; in fact, no one in the plot has even considered war yet (aside from the camels). We'll see where the plot goes.
8731361
Me too. The like-dislike ratio is pretty bad, but I was expecting something like that.
Man, the tension this story has so far. You've got me hooked my friend. I can't wait to see what comes from this story.
8732607
Glad to hear it; I hope I don't disappoint
8732765
Well, considering Captain America: Civil War is one of my fav. movies of all time, I think you're good. My fav. types of films that involve ideological debates are when you can see the validity in both sides. Forcing the viewer to act out the argument the characters are having on screen internally, thereby making them more invested. I've yet to see a Solar Empire v. Lunar Republic fic. that's done this, so good job there. I think your dialogue is really great, perhaps if you beef up the descriptions the tiniest bit and be sure to proofread so things make sense, you could have a VERY excellent story on your hands.
8732797
Yeah, rereading some of the text, I realized I forgot to clean up a few things here and there. My best time to write also happens to be when I'm exhausted, and I seem to lack the proofreader talent. I'll probably go back and do some editing to correct these mistakes after I'm finished with the next chapter and before I upload it.
8732805
Good call.
8732758
Thanks
8732762
I saw the king translation but I thought it was redundant and I though light mean't showing them the light or ruling over Luna and Celestia but I like the Overlord of Overlords one.
8733119
It's partly a reference to several historical titles. The Persian Emperors were called Shahanshah which means "king of kings" (since shah is roughly equivalent to king). Genghis Khan was known as the Khagan or "khan of khans" (or chief of chiefs). And, of course, one of the Biblical titles for Jesus is "King of Kings". I like the messianic and conqueror undertones such a title would suggest.
Nice. A very Socratic method here with an example... Or even one of his primary teachers but with less urine involved.
Why though is the 10,000 bits out of the question off the bat?
Trust in that I really am not a fan in unfettered "rights" to what should be obvious. Too many industries have been hampered by that.
It is hard in my opinion what limits in some cases should be. Even if in some others like a common budget or fund is put aside for the common good.
Not to say those are bad at all. But most seem to have a very short and non-empathetic view of how their actions can harm others.
Finding a good concrete defining point of harm is tough. Maybe if we look at what the opposing points are...
Tl;Dr
For those who don't want to read and think about it. I hope to leave a minor note here.
Socrates primary mentor Diogenes was noted for urinating on everything and everyone more or less. He seemed to think of himself as a dog... Or more accurately a great troll/critic.
Seriously. This guy was Savage. Lol.
8769031
I got a little confused (sleep-deprived; it's midterm week). Are you asking why the 10,000 bits can't be saved? The answer to that is that Flim and Flam essentially stole the money by building a product they couldn't legally sell as a legal product and selling it to a business. They didn't have permission to use Celestia's image, and thus their soda was illegal; therefore they couldn't sell the rights because there are none.
Actually, when you get right down to it, the greater political themes of the fic is really more "big government" versus "little government," and how far to take either one with addressing a nation's, or by extension a world's, problems. The race and economic issues, in this instance, are really becoming more symptoms of the greater problem to be addressed.
8807555
The division is less vague further in, I promise. I wouldn't really call it "big government" vs. "little government", though Celestia's hooves-off approach prevented her from addressing the racial and economic disparities personally. Her problem, at least in this AU, was trusting her subjects.
This subplot with Celestia and Flim and Flam feels rather weird. I'm not entirely certain where you're going with this. I also think the subplot is due for Flim and Flam revealing that they built a machine that can process apples into apple cider, which would instantly turn Celestia's attention to their potential as entrepreneurs and inventors. Instead, it feels more like a weird hash of economics that really does feel like a separate B-plot instead of something that'll feed forward into the main storyline.