• Member Since 7th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Evictus


Born in 1997 Became a brony August 2014.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to Diapers


A few days after Twilight revealed her secret Twilight tells Rarity that she wants her to do something for her

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 80 )

Here's something to help anyone who actually read through this mess. I'm sorry.

8730802
I think you just saved me

Holy fuck.

For the first time, you've crafted something truly profound, Evictus. I just finished reading this and I'm literally shaking. The narrative is extremely well paced, and very very unpredictable. I actually got some Franz Kafka vibes reading this... or, as though it's a lost Hemingway story.

And that's to say nothing of the prose. Holy fuck, was this ever well-written. You craft sentences in a way that seems simple at first, but when you actually dig into them, you realize that every single word is vital. It's like a well-laid Jenga tower—if one single block of a sentence is out of place, nothing else functions properly.

Top points from me. This is easily one of the best stories I've ever read.

Actually, on second thought, it fucking sucks ass.

8730814
That's kinda gay, eh?

There is nothing wrong with short stories.

I can't even bring myself to put my stories on here because I am worried about what other might say.

shouldnt there be a fetish tag on here?

8730822
The issue is, these stories have been constantly shit quality. And there’s over 100 of them.

How after 200+ stories have you not improved even just a little bit dude. It’s almost unfathomable. I mean unless you enjoy trolling people with the same shit over and over again, then I say well done.

A few days after Twilight revealed her secret Twilight tells Rarity that she wants her to do something for her

A few days after Twilight revealed her secret, Twilight tells Rarity that she wants her to do something for her.

The lack of basic punctuation in your descriptions bothers me more than the stories.

Edit: You really like the word 'her'.

Ahh! Another one! Kill it! Kill it with unlikes!

8730802 My story is a mess?

8730813 Thank you! :)

8730824 Your right there should be a fetish tag

8730947
read the comment after yours for the answer

you need help m8 but you refuse to get help even though you've made it clear that your stories need help and yet you still refuse to get help

you're like a riddle wrapped in an enigma

8730899 I don't know why I haven't improved :(

Er, if you continued this it has the potential to be good.

8730911 I don't know why I have that problem

8730965
because you refuse to be assisted

8730959
then you should do that before the mods go after your ass

8730968 Should I add more chapters?

8730975
Yes. I wanted to see Rarity baby Twilight.

8730974
no don't just be sorry, think for one fucking second

8730977 I was thinking about going down that route but I didn't maybe I should continue this

8730985

I was thinking about going down that route but I didn't

see this is your problem, you think but you never do

8730947
Bless your heart.

and now he's gonna ignore the comments that try to get him to understand what he's doing wrong and will most likely shit out another one of these and act all innocent and say

it's the circle of fucking life except he doesn't learn from it

Evictus you need a proofreader/editor

Hey it was alright. Maybe add more into it. Why do you aim for 1000 words? Try adding more.

He aims for 1,000 words because he's a troll.

JackRipper
Story Approver

I ̷̳͓̦̹̣̫ͅha̤̗͖̤̗̰̝͠v͉̫̥͉̥̫e͈͔͈̪̱̲͚ ̲̯̼͓̜s̶͕e̲͎̹e̪̦̼n̳̦͔̘̱ ͖̥́t̨̩h̜̀e̹̮ ̯̟̻̪̮͖̹f̻̟͔̱͓͟a̯̼͖̞̖c̖̙̳͕͉̭͘e̶̙ ̤̦̘̀o̬̤͔f̶̠̪̬̳ ͖̦̙͉̭G̴o̕d̴͇̫͕̺,̫̭̗͓̗ ̟̮̞a̮̣n̺͕d͔̬̗ ͉͎h͓̮e̙̯ i̼̟̺͓̜ͅs͙̹̗̦͈̕ ̡̳͍̲̥̗͇ć͇̞̼̬̝r̞̞͓̞͈̱ͅy̗͕̬in͕͖͈g.

Comment posted by TankCop deleted February 13th

*Excessive amount of eggplant emojis because that somehow constitutes comedy*

Comment posted by Saberking2012 deleted February 14th

8730990 I'm sorry I didn't think about putting it in :applecry:

8731001 I never ignore the comments

8731002 I did want to make it longer

8731008 I'm not a troll

I see you potential. But did you even run though spell check or grammar check?
You need ether get few program fix this, or hire a editor!

If think of add on or making siquil stop what you have get everything before you write again!
And maybe people won't hate on you so bad or say mean stuff.

You have heart of write but need something work here and there.

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