• Member Since 14th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen August 6th

Rorschfox


E

When a dark unicorn mage threatens the whole of Equestria, the ponies must unite to face the impending danger. But this dark unicorn is not alone: he has built his army while the ponies of Equestria were unaware. Now, they must face an enemy who can attack them both in the real world, and the Dream Realm - one who absolutely will not give in until he has achieved his one true goal: immortality.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 10 )

Something had been trying to recruit her to its cause – something evil. And had it not been for the intervention of Princess Luna, it may have succeeded. She had been powerless to stop it.

Why she hasn't agreed or at least engaged in negotiations?

8731965
It was more a case of either accept, or be forced to. Starlight didn't really have much choice in the matter - whatever happened, the presence wanted her on its side. There wasn't really any negotiations to be made there.

This first chapter is just to set the scene. The second chapter is already finished; and it'll make things a lot clearer!

8732312

It was more a case of either accept, or be forced to.

That's kinda my point: she should have accepted in a way that causes least suspicion from him and tried to extract maximum information from him. For example, by discussing how exactly joining him benefits her (actually meaning "how exactly he is going to defeat princesses?"). She obviously gains nothing from boldly defying him in open.

8732372
That's true: and I have to admit it does sound like a good idea. But my plans were for this to always be a little more direct on this story - so I went with the defiant approach, and Luna's intervention. After all, there's good reason why the Princess of the Night was so desperate for Starlight to wake up...

Good setup so far. I think the direct approach is pretty fitting, since Starlight herself is quite direct overall, even if she does it with a certain level of sass.

8739522
Thank you!

And it's very true: Starlight does go for the more direct approach more often than not. It makes her a fun character to write, too!

I can’t wait for the next chapter !!! :)

8732418

But my plans were for this to always be a little more direct on this story

That's completely fine from the story point, the problem is with characters behaving, well, like alive characters (it is actually very common and general problem that writers have to deal: stories often require something to happen that characters very much don't want to happen). Starlight has no knowledge of what is supposed to happen is the story. It's reasonable to expect her to be calculative enough to try to extract information (she came up with a sane plan of toppling changeling's loyalty to Chrysalis very quickly under pressure, for example), but not to be cold and calculative enough to ignore guy's threats (no one probably is).

8779469
I'm working on the third chapter at the moment!

And I'm glad you like the story so far!

8780797
True: but she's trusting the judgement on Princess Luna on this one. Without her, Starlight wouldn't have escaped that situation!

I've also got the whole story (all 12 chapters of it) planned out already in some detail. Changing it now would mean major re-writes further down the line - and that's really not an option at the moment.

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