• Member Since 27th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen May 24th

Jay David

Just a guy from Britain who loves MLP.


Twilight and her friends have encountered many enemies over the years, and as such, the Princess of Friendship is more than confident when a new foe arises from the depths of Equestria’s past. After all, that’s how things always go for her. Face a baddie, beat them, happy ending for everypony.

So what happens when there’s a baddie who won’t face them?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 100 )

Soner or later this will happen with every hero.
And it is hilariuos every time :rainbowlaugh:

Evil Overlord Rule #92: If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

Briefly it reminded me on THE DESTINY TRAP..
Also... Unstopable force vs unmovable object = they surrender?

The description have a bit to much away, but it was just long enough to not overstay it's welcome :)

I feel like there needs to be a proper story for this it'll be hilarious I also think you're the first person come up with this concept

he's not. There is a longer story with the same premise. But its about a female witch in the crystal empire.

What's the name of it


what he said, its called why bother. the Villain is an OC but she's well written. Complete with a backstory, but what kicks the story off is her surrender to the mane 6 without even putting a fight

Alright thanks I'm going to start reading it

“Yes, that about sums it up. I mean, sure, it sounds all glamorous and stuff at the start, but when you actually get into it as a career, you quickly learn there’s really not that much to get out of it.”

He has a point. Sometimes, you fuck up, you realize you fuck up and decide, "you know what? This isn't worth it."

“Who names these things?!”

I quite agree. I know that this is something of a joke story, but I still think that you could have been a bit more creative with the names in this story.

“On my honour, I give up the Necklace of Unrelenting Wickedness.”

Ah, yes.
It was taken from the Bad Fortress of Mean Things, right between the Sword of Sharpness and the spear of Shish Kabob.

And on the other side of the room was the Club of Painful Whacks and the Hammer of Hate.

Why can stuff like this never happen in the show? It'd be funny seeing them worry about the confrontation, and then the villain just give up when they ask him/her too.


Millennia is the plural. You meant millennium.

“Which way is the nearest village. Because I’m in the mood for a good meal since, you know, no food for a millennium and all that.”

My first thought was that the mane 6 would think he was gonna eat every pony in the village. Classic bad guy stuff to give them a reason to attack him.

“He’s got a point, darling.”

I don't have a logical explanation as to why, but for whatever reason, that line got the biggest laugh out of me.


Yeah, bro. Motionless just won't be the same anymore. :fluttercry:

Hahahahahah :rainbowlaugh: Ahhh...

I think I'm gonna love reading more stories like these, they're just so sudden and out of nowhere, it's hilarious and I love it :rainbowkiss:

Nicely done, hahah

I need a followup where Rainbow lies to everypony and makes this out as their biggest fight ever and no one believes the others because they think they're just being modest.

I have seen a lot of stories with that mistake.

There is unnecessary double-spacing in this story. That is its biggest flaw, and therefore the one I shall point out.

Satisfied with that, the stallion nodded.

“Good. Now then...”

He looked around, and then back to her.

“Which way is the nearest village. Because I’m in the mood for a good meal since, you know, no food for a millennium and all that.”

This is all the same character, so it should all be on the same line.

Satisfied with that, the stallion nodded. “Good. Now then...” He looked around, and then back to her. “Which way is the nearest village. Because I’m in the mood for a good meal since, you know, no food for a millennium and all that.”

And, again, you hit the return key too many times between paragraphs.

Besides that one flaw, this is actually a very entertaining story.

love this the only way it be better if they encounter a villain who main weapon is friendship

Aside from the awkward paragraph separation. Nothing else stands out to me. I honestly prefer double spacing in fics. Makes it easier to read when everything's not jumbled within five pixels of each other

He didn't hand over the necklace. I've read this story before.

🎼You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run...🎼

I find this story amusing and always actually imagined this is the reason Celestia imprisons villains instead of kills them. IE, some of them legitimately DO have a change of heart.


Walking forward, the stallion offered his former source of power to Twilight, and the latter, after hesitating for a moment, finally took it off him.

Yes, he did.

8914928 But killing them is soooo much more satisfying! :pinkiecrazy: (Alondro soon becomes Ultimate Supervillain... that's actually the title he comes up with.)

Damn, they fuckin aced that charisma check!

Or their intimidate check.

Or the villain botched a will save against The Magic of Friendship and got the lamest option on the critical failure chart.


Can't forget the Amulet of Arbitrary Cursedness and the Staff of Point-Make-Go-Away.

Simple, but effective. Had a smile on my face the whole time.

Maybe it's just me, but humor like this is very reminiscent of Monty Python. And I fully mean that as a compliment.

Funny stuff here!

Of course Rainbow would be disappointed that the villain didn't want to fight.

I can totally see this happening.

Yep, you either die a villain, or live long enough to see yourself become the hero. :ajsmug:

((But, on a more serious note, if it were me, I would think about changing 'The Ancient Book of Ancientness' to 'The Ancient Book of Antiquity'. Otherwise, this was a fun little story, and I'm glad you shared it.))

Cuz they need to actually make it 22 minutes.:trollestia:

And thus plot holes were born!

“On my honour, I give up the Necklace of Unrelenting Wickedness.”

I have a premonition that one of the Mane6 (my bit is on Rainbow) would try the necklace and become a reluctant new Evil Queen of Prank.


Please, you could make this 22 minutes.

You could have Rainbow Dash follow the ex-villain around convinced they aren't changed (Twilight also could do it but Rainbow Dash is the one I would suspect the most that would go, 'Hang on....nope, not accepting this outcome, its not awesome enough') and then Rainbow's paranoia creates hijinks that lead to the villain almost turning evil again.

Thus we get a lesson about taking ponies at their word and trust.

roll credits.

“Who names these things?!”

Starswirl most likely.

He probably made it, so yeah.

My funny bone is in a deep part of my soul that rarely shows it's presence. You reached pretty deep and your efforts were not in vain.

Professor Karma

I politely demand a sequel!

I want to see what happens to the former-bad-guy. Send him to Ponyville, I say! perhaps make him stay at the Castle. It's just too good to resist! :pinkiehappy:

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