• Published 11th Mar 2018
  • 4,349 Views, 104 Comments

The One Rule at Cons You Shouldn't break but you did - SkyrimbetterthanFallout



What happens when you go to a con as Courier Six when the rest of your friends are going as Elder Scrolls characters? Evidently not much but let's a go. First story so wish me luck!

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Where the Fick am I?

So, I listened to the voices, (not really), and I decided to wander. I decided to blow up the castle base so I could not look at it and walk away. It wasn't very good anyway. Might've caused some chaos among the ponies about what just happened in the forest, but I don't give a shit.

The journey took me days upon days, and that was just to leave the forest. I won't describe what happened then as the story will just turn into The Lord of the Rings. Walking and walking with some fighting mixed in. I did find a hydra though, but not the drug kind. It tasted good, not like chicken but more or less like a fish.

Eventually, I made it out of the forest, (No shit Sherlock). What I wandered into appeared to be the infamous badlands. It just looked like New Mexico to me but that's not the point. There were no animals or life of any sort for a while, not until I made it to a small town.

When I walked in I really wanted to start playing big iron, but I knew I wasn't the time yet. Soon. I did at least try to say hi all to the ponies living there but they decided to hide. It was a ghost town, straight out of the wild west. The entire time I was just strolling through looking for the closest bar or Texas Red. They both were priority one.


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Sadly walking through town I found no ponies, and even worse still not a single bar or Texas Red. It made me sad but I know that just because the notches on his pistol numbered 1 and 19 more I could still beat him. It was only a matter of time, with me having a big iron on my hip.

I had no idea where I was going but I knew that if I walked far enough I may be able to find a changeling hive. I say a because I don't know if there's more than one. There might be, but I certainly don't know. But what I did know is that if changelings and/or Chrysalis attack me I will PURGE THEM IN HOLY HELLFIRE.

Maybe I could've deposed Chrysalis and become king. That would be a sight. I wouldn't be good at it though, that's what I have Yes Man for, to do all the governing stuff.

Good God, I know that being alone makes you crazy but I didn't expect it so soon! I mean I just though about becoming a king! How stupid is that? I would prefer being a president, because that way I can just delegate everything like I did to Yes Man. Of course I would stay president forever but that's not that point. The point is you're a bitch.

So anyways back to our not so regularly scheduled programming, I was walking. There wasn't much to say about it. There was desert all around with not much else. No animals, plants, or shape shifting bugs. That last part made me disappointed. That meant that the only contact I've made in this world is running from the law and a zebra (that sounds very concerning, like Zecora is a drug dealer or something, probably).

I get off track a lot don't I? Anyways I started to run, even though it's impossible without mods. And so I just kept running, Forest Gump style.


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At the end of my run I came across a jungle. It didn't look ominous or anything, it looked like a normal jungle. Which of course made me even more suspicious. This is Equestria, (maybe, I don't know I'm not a map), there are no normal forests. With my luck I'll find that cat guy and the Indiana Jones knock off in a temple with an artifact that controls the sun or something.

Unfortunately, there was no visible end to the jungle to my sides and I wasn't about to climb a jungle tree, (even though that's how you get the wood, from the top down). So the only directions I could go was either back or forward.

I, of course, went into the jungle knowing I was going to probably get up to all kinds of shenanigans in there. And I couldn't even burn the forest, with it being a jungle it would be too humid. So that meant that I had to bushwhack the entire way through.

Eventually, I came across a temple/pyramid/whatever but I got bored of jungle and decided to explore it. This took me a while and the loot was underwhelming, to say the least. There was no gold or cool looking things, just a parkour course and a rock.

So, using my AMR with explosive rounds, I blew the temple sky high. I just wanted to shoot it a couple times to get rid of my disappoint some how, but I missed the old explosives that were lining the walls. I went about 20 feet back just from the shock wave. It was one of the coolest things I've seen in my life. And even better, I only broke a couple bones and only half of my health was gone.

After I collected my intact AMR I booked it, knowing that everyone and everything heard the explosion, drawing them to the site. By the time I stopped running and rested for the night I knew that, meaning I looked on my map, that I was at least 30 miles away from the ruins of the temple ruins.


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The next couple of days I kept walking, eventually finding an ocean. So I used my available resources and made a boat,( a high survival skill is necessary, don't ask). So getting on the boat I used my superior knowledge and skills of the ocean to beach myself only days later way farther down the coast, next to mountains and volcanoes.

And so, leaving my boat to its fate, I headed into the hostile looking terrain, hoping to actually talk to someone. Maybe end up killing someone, which is probably a high possibility. That means I get to have more fun at least.

Author's Note:

And so, I update again. This chapter has a lot of references, I blame what I've been playing and TheRussianBadger. That also means that I'm dead, for YOU CAN'T KILL ME, I AM ALREADY DEAD!

Comments ( 8 )
Comment posted by BlowyRex deleted Sep 11th, 2019

I was waiting so long for another chapter thank you.

Cool.

Edit: also, this guy is as random as a dice roll. I fricken love it.

A empty chicken bucket is viable for a soda container.

Since I can't kill you, I'll just resurrect you

I blame badger for my own slow writing aswell. He's too funny.

Okay, look. I tried to give it a fair shot and read until the latest chapter but I was struggling with both the grammar and pace. The story moves way too quick for me but from what I read (chapter one, two and the first couple of paragraphs of three) it has potential. At no point will I claim something like "Oh I could do better." because that's just fuckin' stupid. I will say that with an editor this could turn out to be pretty good. I'm going to leave it in my 'collecting dust' folder until I remember it or stumble across it again and then I'll see what it's like at a later date. Although I stand by what I said; it's a little to fast and "Let's get this bit over with" at the beginning and it doesn't hold my attention for long enough without having to remind myself to go back.

A more personal opinion says that he is pretty overpowered for what he is and I don't like how he has what he has with no effort or trial. Just being given god mode in a game is mighty boring after a while and I recommend he disables cheats (if he doesn't already, again, I didn't get very far) because it'll take all the tension out of any situation if the reader realises "Hold on, he's OP I don't need to worry about anything." Although this is all just my personal opinion and you don't have to take anything I mentioned to heart. That said I want you to know that I'm not trying to slam this I am only trying to give constructive criticism although I may not have done it very well.


TL:DR Best of luck to you author and I hope your story brings happiness to many, it's just not right for me I guess. Although an editor won't hurt even the best authors. :twilightsmile:

~Forgotten.

Wow this is fun

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