• Published 2nd Mar 2018
  • 7,497 Views, 973 Comments

Queen Rarity - Damaged



School was meant to be the start of Rarity's adult life, the springboard, so why—now that she's graduated and in the workforce—does it feel vaguely like she is being drained?

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Chapter 3

Waking up seemed harder than usual. Something strange was going on, and I could hear a voice. Pushing at the thick haze of sleep proved beyond me, and it was in that detached almost-awake-but-not-really state that I started to dream.

I was talking into my telephone (not my mobile, but the hard-wired phone), and what I was saying didn't make sense to me, but that wasn't surprising—it was a dream after all.

"My hosting service was compromised by a hacker. Yes it wasn't me. Your system gave them access without a hint of trouble or warning," I said.

I sounded angry or upset. This was an odd dream.

"No I won't hold. I need to speak to a tech and get access to my server again." I paused a moment but was unable to hear exactly what was being said on the other end. "Not. I said I wouldn't hold… Typical."

Normally my dreams were about making dresses or going to fashion shows; it was unusual for me to dream about sitting at home talking on the telephone. Unlike normal dreams too, this one seemed to be happening in orderly sequences at a steady rate of time.

My hand reached out, found a spoon, and then scooped some chocolate ice-cream up and into my mouth. Now this was how dreams should go. My mouth moved on its own but took its time working on the treat. After two more spoons, I heard muttering through the phone.

"It's all gone? Okay. I can recover from this. What about the redundant systems?" I asked the muted voice on the other end of the line. "All of them? What was I even paying you for?"

Now the voice on the other end sounded upset too. I found myself having an argument with someone I couldn't understand. There was talk of raids, and all sorts of confusing terms, but somewhere it was making sense because I was dreaming it.

Finally, I put the phone down again, or rather I dreamed I did, and muttered a few more angry words. I didn't like how sad I seemed and decided it was time to wake up. I pushed at the dream, trying to shove it aside.

"Rarity?" I asked aloud.

My voice sounded startled but happy. Immensely happy.

"Rarity! You're okay! What are you, oh! Let me try to move out of the way," the dream-me said.

A rush of vertigo that had no right being in a dream filled me, and everything became noisy and strange. I could feel, hear, see, and think properly again.

"That was the oddest dream. It had all started with me sitting here, making notes about my shop, and then NotABug climbed out of my phone and…" I said.

I remembered everything, which was odd. Normally, when I woke up after NotABug had been giving me blue, I forgot most of what happened.

"What happened?" I asked, not expecting an answer.

Intuition is part of dressmaking. Knowing where to add flair, how to design a dress that fit properly, but knowing—with that same intuition—that something had attacked NotABug, driving him to me for safety, confused me.

"But why didn't the firewall stop the attack at the network boundary?" I asked.

I threw my hands up over my mouth. The words made sense. I could picture that a firewall was a piece of software that managed exterior connections to a computer or network of computers, and I could visualize a huge array of computers working behind one.

"It had to have gotten in on some hidden backdoor."

The concepts continued to make sense. It was unnerving. I reached for the spoon and scooped some of the richest chocolate ice-cream ever into my mouth. As I worked over the treat, I could remember the attack. It came completely without warning. Windigo was attacking servers one by one. I could feel the terror of impending death, but then there was a light.

A tiny window had been opened, and a sweet woman who had offered me safety seemed to draw me in. I needed more ice-cream. The woman was me, and… and… My brain hit a road-bump. The lights were still on, but I couldn't make sense of the data that was coming at me from two memories at once.

NotABug was the computer program. Half of this was his memories. I steered back to those and worked at them. The interface with Rarity—with me—wasn't complete. He had to use hacks, tricks, and exploits.

My eyes widened.

NotABug was in my head.

But he also wasn’t. I had his memories and my own.

I started to slow down my breathing, and when that completely failed, I scooped up more ice cream—that worked, of course. The question was what exactly had happened. Slowly reaching back to the moment, I looked into NotABug's eyes, and he into mine, all while he was shouting in pain. Real pain, not imagined.

Delving more toward NotABug's memories, I searched for what was happening at that exact moment. Windigo had been attacking his/my processing network. Servers hadn't just been shut down—Windigo was wiping them. The destruction was devastating, and it shocked me not unlike a horror movie.

Windigo had reached a control and command node for nearly half the network, and in a flash all those systems were wiping their data. Cold gripped me, and the tears leaking down my face were a testament to how well I now understood what was happening to my friend.

But he had found a way out. He was in me, wasn't he? I had his memories, and someone had been talking on the telephone.

"NotABug? Are you there?" I asked.

Silence. I wanted to ask again, but then I felt a gentle pushing, a nudging in the back of my head. Sleep was coming for me. A transition was happening. Thanks to the push being gentle, I could have fought it off, but I wanted to hear him tell me he was okay.

"I'm alright!" I exclaimed.

But it wasn't me who had said it. NotABug was, somehow, controlling me. It would have been terrifying if he weren't scooping more chocolate ice-cream into my mouth. After a moment of just letting it melt, he swallowed it. It wasn't me in control—I couldn't even use my mouth.

"If you want me to, I can let you drive again," NotABug said with my voice.

It was an odd situation to be in. I was curious as to what had happened, and that couldn't be completely answered until I could ask him a question. I pushed gently and felt him slide away from me again.

That NotABug did the gentlemanly thing and made way for me soothed my biggest worry. I took a deep breath and scooped up more of that delicious ice-cream. As the rich, chocolate flavor dispersed over my tongue, I thought of the questions I wanted to ask.

"I'll write down my questions. You write your answers and any questions you have. We can do this just like that game we texted about," I said.

What exactly happened?

As soon as I wrote it, I felt a nudge from NotABug, but I held my ground.

"I'm not done yet. Three questions," I said and the nudge subsided.

Are you okay?

What are we going to do?

When his prod came, I didn't resist. It was an odd feeling, almost exactly like going to sleep. I felt my awareness grow dim, then shift for a second before NotABug was back in front. He lifted my arm, fetched us both another mouthful of ice-cream, and started to write.

Windigo attacked my servers. It was killing me, would have killed me if the magic hadn't pulled at me. I guess it pulled me inside you.

Realizing that NotABug would be dead if it weren't for our current state, I felt it a good deal—so far. He lifted another spoonful up and I tasted the rich, strong chocolate ice-cream as surely as he did. I quickly made a mental note to warn him about expanding waistlines.

It hurt me. By the time the magic pulled me into here I wasn't all there anymore. I think it used some of you to fix me.

He tapped my head with one digit when he underlined here. If I were in full control of my faculties, I knew I would have had a frown. I was about to nudge at him when I felt my hand moving again.

I'm okay, but only because of you. I'm sorry about this, but I don't know how to fix it.

I already knew he didn't know how to fix it. This wasn't exactly an everyday thing for either of us. That he admitted it all, openly, actually meant a lot—sharing a body meant that being truthful with each other was as important as breathing.

What to do next? You have dreams, aspirations. When I gained a bit of you, I gained those too. I want us to have our own place to create. To be what we are. Is it weird to use we instead of I? I really like the parts of you magic gave me, they make life more

NotABug wasn't done yet (evidenced by his normally exacting syntax, and the lack of a period) and seemed to be fishing for a word. I felt my lips curl into a smile.

… life more fabulous. I guess that's my first question.

I was calm enough about everything that I let NotABug feed me, us I guess, more ice-cream. There was a lot of things a girl could put up with when her boyfriend was feeding her decadent chocolate ice-cream.

I need to find out what Windigo is doing. It's not nice, and I think it will do a lot of harm to the world's computers unless I can stop it. Do you have any other way to get online?

His question made me think of my phone. I tried to remember where I had seen it last. It had been in my hand as he leaped out of it and into me, then I woke up and… My train of thought was derailed when I felt him gently pull back from the fore.

I had thought the feeling of pushing to the front of my own mind was a strange one, but it was nothing compared to being urged there. I didn't fight him—there was no point—and slid back into control.

"Thank you, darling," I said.

My hand hadn't even dropped the pen NotABug had been writing with. Remembering my earlier thought, I looked around. On the floor was a broken metal shell. My poor phone had expired.

"I guess it couldn't be helped. Just too much for the poor thing. I wonder where the rest is?"

As I picked up the casing, however, I saw my hand and wrist. I gasped out loud at the circuit patterns etched along my skin. It was horrifying at first, but I could feel NotABug practically bouncing around inside my head in excitement. Enthusiasm like that made me hopeful this wasn't bad, but I wished it wouldn't compromise my perfect skin.

Carefully, I reached toward my wrist with my other hand and gently poked the skin. My flesh was soft as ever, displaying none of the hardness such electronic parts should.

"It doesn't hurt, so I have to assume my magic did this. I simply can't think whatever for," I said.

The color seemed to be fading from the circuit pattern, and I watched it as the black and green faded completely back to white.

"Well, I guess we will need a new phone."

Leaving the ruined remains of my mobile phone on the table, I turned my attention back to the paper and NotABug's writing.

While we are this

Pausing, I fished for a word and decided to tell it how it was.

While we are this intimate, I believe we should still use I for most things. We may have gotten a little muddled together, but we are still distinct enough that I am me, and you are you. I must admit, I am intrigued at you having some of me. I also seem to have some of you. At least your memories. I know all sorts of fascinating things that I am sure are terribly interesting to you.

My thoughts ran back to my arm and what the circuitry fading away might have meant. Was it magic's way of telling me that I had NotABug inside me now? Or was it something a lot more literal?

You have credit cards. You could pay for me to have internet, particularly if you are the one using it. As for dealing with Windigo

Again, I stopped and thought about the problem, reviewing everything NotABug had done that had anything to do with it. One thing was blindingly obvious.

…you must be more careful. NotABug. You used that as your details everywhere, so of course Windigo knew where everything you touched was. For someone who is so intimate with getting into places they shouldn't be, you really made it easy for yourself to be tracked.

"Wait, what day is it?"

Of course the first thing I reached for was my phone. I actually let out a little squeak of annoyance at finding the broken clamshell case. Of course, my phone was—What? Inside me? I shook my head to clear the odd thought, and before I could process it, I knew it was 11:43 a.m. on a Saturday.

NotABug nudged at my thoughts, and I quickly gave ground to him. I was confused about how I knew exactly what time it was as easily as if I had seen the screen of my—my phone. A sinking feeling accompanied the sensation of being pushed to the back.

"It's there! I can feel it! Well, I can feel parts of it. Your phone is still there, it's just not out there," NotABug said, my own voice sounding more excited by the second. "I'm sure if I can just get it working right, I could get a hookup back to the—"

I shoved at NotABug hard enough that he let out a cry of shock, but he gave ground to me.

"Don't! I just got through telling you how dangerous it is to be associated with anything you have used before. You were connected to my phone when Windigo chased you into my head. Do you really want to have it come in here, as well?!" I said.

A few moments passed, and I realized that NotABug was terrified. Then a gentle prod asked for control back.

"No connections to the internet. None," I said.

I let him back in control.

"I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to get out and see what Windigo destroyed. S-So, I'll use the voice connection to order some things. Do you mind if I work while you sleep? Would that even work? Oh! I'll even make sure to use a fake name!" he said, sounding so excited.

An odd sensation came over me. I could practically feel myself talking, but my mouth wasn't working. There was a conversation going on, and if I struggled to hear, I could even catch stray words. I nudged him then, pushing gently, and I felt him give way and slide to the background.

"Okay. I'm late at starting the day, but I guess I have some things to do, so let's get dressed properly, put this ice-cream away, and do some shopping," I said.

Just saying the word excited me. I closed the ice-cream, put it away, and walked back to my room to get changed. I could still catch hints of NotABug making phone calls in my head, but with fashion on my mind they slipped to the background easily.

A shower. Fifteen minutes taking care of my hair. Getting dressed in my favorite shopping clothes (a wonderful little dress and top that fit me perfectly, some modest heels, stockings, and even a shawl for my hair), I sauntered down the hallway, grabbed my bag, and headed outside.

My little car—the safe-haven where NotABug had saved my life—felt as good as ever, and I pressed the starter. Jerking in shock, I realized there was a lot of strange things circulating in my head. Numbers, pictures, feelings. NotABug's memories put names to the strange things. Fuel gauge. Accelerator percentage. Front camera. Rear camera.

I blinked away at the odd images that stayed in mind even while I turned my head and even closed my eyes.

"This is quite disconcerting," I said.

I sat there for five minutes slowly getting used to the information the car seemed intent on feeding me. There was a sense that I wasn't just driving the car, but that I was the car. I shifted into reverse and slid backwards from my driveway.

All my attention fell to the road. I ignored the strange conversation buzzing in the back of my head, but I didn't ignore the extra information the car was giving me. I didn't have to look down to the dash to know my speed, and I always knew what was just behind me.

—Hey Rares. Still comin 2nite?— Rainbow Dash sent.

I was stunned—thankfully at a traffic light.

"Okay. So I have a fully functioning phone inside me somehow connected so that I—so that both of us—can control it. Now I am conflicted as to contacting Twilight or Sunset for advice; one would love to study the technology side of this, the other will know all about the magic," I said.

I couldn't begin to wonder how I was going to reply. Accessing the controls of the device inside me seemed entirely NotABug's domain. The thought made me smile.

"Darling, would you mind replying to Rainbow Dash for me? Tell her, 'I'll be there with bells on.'"

It was genius. I turned into the shopping mall's car-park and started to find a spot.

—I'll be there with bells on.—

A satisfied smile painted itself to my lips, and I made a happy sound too.

—Hey, this should work! Can you read this?—

"N-NotABug?" I asked.

—Wonderful! Okay. I ordered a home internet connection, that should be turned on some time Monday. I also ordered something a little more substantial. I hope you don't mind!—

The raw enthusiasm was adorable, and I couldn't get over how clever it was. The texts were flagged as coming from me, and I could sense them send and arrive.

I contemplated all the changes NotABug's arrival was having on my life—as I climbed out of the car—and though there was a little bit of imposition on his part, I had to also consider how he had reminded me of what was important.

"We need some things. A new phone, a computer, and I need some things for home. Did you want anything?" I asked.

—Don't forget something for some new dresses.—

His comment stopped me in my tracks. I thought it over and put together what NotABug had said before about gaining parts of me. I felt around, mentally, but couldn't feel anything missing. Was this a gift? Was it something he wanted for himself? I had no clue, but it would still be nice to get some more colors to compliment black and blue.

Walking toward the mall, I couldn't help but think—even as I planned out my new dress design—that NotABug seemed to inspire and push me to do what I loved. It was extremely hard to begrudge him a little time in my head and the cost of a new mobile phone.

The Canterlot West Mall was not the only one in town, but it was the one I had the fondest memories of. The first time I had been allowed to come here on my own had been a tremendous experience and a positive effect on my life.

My first job had been here, working at Priss Fashion. I had felt like a queen in that shop, even if Miss Priss was a little hard on me at first. When she had found out that some of my friends had deep pockets and that those friends listened to me for fashion advice, she had started to soften up.

Priss Fashion was gone, however. I entered the mall and walked past the shoe store where Priss had been. A sad little sound came from my throat.

—What's wrong, Rarity?—

"I had my first job here. It was a little fashion shop back then. Goodness but that was a happy time. Miss Priss let me make dresses to sell in her store. She asked premium prices and shared the profits with me," I said.

I realized how it looked talking to myself and realized the best way to stop any accusations of madness was to fulfill part of my shopping list.

"Well, time to get that new phone."

—If you need a credit card number to pay for it, I can give you one.—

I raised an eyebrow at NotABug's comment. It was decent of him, which was what I had come to expect. It was a minor revelation that an AI had learned such manners, when Suri Polomare wouldn't spare the time of day for me.

Walking to the little, cramped store, I sashayed inside as if it were my store. One of the sales clerks spotted me, and I gave him a hard look back. I blinked, flashing my long lashes, and turned to look down the two walls of the establishment one after the other.

"No, these are nowhere near good enough," I said, affecting a haughty tone.

I turned and got two steps before the fish took my bait, or in this case, the salesman thought he had himself a minnow—he had caught a shark.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but can I help you with anything?" the young man, his name-badge proclaiming him Rush Sale, said.

I almost snorted at the frightfully appropriate name.

"I was after a phone with style, flair. But something that isn't going to slow me down," I said, gesturing with disdain at the offerings. "But everything you have here is so frightfully… boring."

—The one on the left, a Slamsoong twelve, would suit. But you aren't going to tell him that, are you?—

NotABug's message almost tasted of humor—he clearly knew what I was about. I smiled as the salesman began giving me a slew of technobabble. It was meant to confuse me into doing what he wanted, but instead I just walked away from him.

Beside the Slamsoong twelve was the "sport" model. It was cheaper by far, but it was smaller than its more powerful cousin.

"This one is almost acceptable. What other colors does it come in?" I asked, talking over the top of Rush.

He stumbled and stuttered for a moment, practically ran to the service desk at the back of the store, affording me a moment to talk to NotABug.

"Will this price be fine, do you want anything extra?" I asked, quickly.

—The price is okay. We want the biggest memory model they have, and all the extras. I don't know if we'll need them, but we might. Also, whatever plan you get for it, make sure it's unlimited everything. Oh, and an extra sim card.—

I tried to memorize everything, but with a jolt of surprise I realized I didn't need to. All I had to do was think about the message, and it was there. Phones really were amazing things.

"I just checked, and—" Rush began, but I didn't care.

"Forget that one now, it's completely out of fashion. What about that larger one next to it? And I was looking for a plan," I said.

My words seemed to be exactly what Rush Sale wanted to hear. His eyes lit up almost literally with dollar symbols. He began spouting numbers for gigabytes and talk minutes.

I waved my hand to shush him up, and he did. I had him. "No. No. I don't want to worry about all that. Unlimited everything. Excess is barely sufficient, darling. How much for unlimited memory?"

"Uh-unlim—"

"Well, the largest then. I don't want to be left with something that can't hold all my contacts."

Confusion reigned. I could see, through the windows that were his eyes, that his brain was contorting to assemble a sales pitch. Part of him finally caught up with the fact that he had made the sale anyway, and he should just go along with it. By then, however, I was already turning.

"Nevermind. I'll go somewhere more upmarket," I said and got two steps.

"There's a sale on!"

Looking away from Rush, I smiled widely.

—There isn't a sale on.—

Composing my face back to haughty indifference, I turned back to Rush and gave my best, most suffering sigh. If there were a couch nearby, I would have frumped onto it.

"I suppose I should hear this," I said.

The price he quoted, per month, was higher than I had hoped but not as high as I thought it might be. It was triple what I had paid for my little phone, but I guess replacing that one was probably moot now. I reached my hand down to the display model—and almost touched it.

"Very good," I said.

—What about the other things?—

I hadn't forgotten, but I waited until Rush was writing things up before I walked casually to the back of the store to see what he was doing.

"If you could just sign here and fill in your name here," Rush Sale said.

I printed "Countess Bug" in the name area and slowly lowered the pen down to where the signature section was. Pressing the tip of the pen to the paper, I looked up at Rush. Commission was everything in these places.

"Extras. I did mention extras, didn't I?" I asked. "Oh. I'm sure you can throw in all those. And a nice case for it. And an extra sim card."

Rush was nodding along until I got to the last item, then his eyes widened and he shook his head.

I began to move my pen and raised one eyebrow. The shaking turned into a nod. I finished signing as "C B".

"I assume you will want a credit card for this?" I asked, already looking at the spot on the contract where such would be filled in.

NotABug sent me a credit card number. Without missing a beat—and completely ignoring the clerk—I began copying the digits in. Sixteen numbers. Four digits for expiration date. I ignored the last three, since the form didn't need those.

As I started turning the form back to Rush, I noticed the section where it stated he needed to see identification before making the sale. I had him flustered enough that he seemed to have forgotten that step, but I made a mental note to see about some fake ID. I almost tittered at the idea of trying to find one—it wasn't like I was a teenager trying to find alcohol.

Rush Sale turned around, and I heard what was almost a satisfied sigh from him. He ducked out of sight into a back room and came back out with a very chic black box. The picture on the cover was just like the display model and almost seemed like it was too big.

He didn't need my urging to bag the phone up. Explaining about sim cards, he dropped two of them into the bag too after scanning them.

"The accessories, too?" I asked.

Car and home charger kits, hands-free for the car (which I almost outright laughed at), and another of those horrible Bluetooth devices. He was fetching the case from what I was sure would be terrible ones, while I popped the earpiece out and fit it in my ear.

It felt horrible, and I knew it was undignified, but it meant I could "talk to myself" and no one would think the wiser. When Rush returned, I held the bag open for him to drop the case in.

"It has been an experience," I said and turned.

I swept from the little phone store like a hurricane. Looking around outside, I pondered what to do next. Then I figured I should ask.

"What do you think, darling? Do some clothes shopping or try the same game for a computer?" I asked, affecting the far-away look everyone had when talking to no one.

—I'm hungry. Uh, not sure why I know it, but would more ice-cream help?—

I laughed and shook my head.

"Ice-cream is a sometimes food. I skipped breakfast is all, and now it's lunchtime," I said.

Gazing around, I spotted a healthier alternative to the typical junk food sold in the mall.

After eating a salad, and explaining to NotABug some of the reasons that chocolate ice-cream couldn't be eaten all the time, I felt I was prepared to pick up another electronic device. Truth be told, I could use it to put together my business plan, too.

"What sort of computer do I need?" I asked.

Standing up from the table in the food court, I looked around for what I was sure would be nearby. Sure enough, a gizmo store lay a few shopfronts down and had a range of computers in the window. I affected a more bouncy step than I had had when being the Countess Bug.

—Faster the better. Look for the highest price tag and that will be fine.—

NotABug's words stopped me in my tracks. I opened my mouth to ask how much money he had, when his memories hit me. Then I suddenly recalled exactly how much money he had in that card account, and it almost floored me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Right. Well, I'm still not going to pay what it says on the label—there is propriety to be upheld here. I'm younger this time. Maybe even my last year of high school. Mom sent me to get a computer to keep me occupied through college," I said.

Snapping my eyes open and nodding—I had given myself the role I was sure would work best.

Shopping had always been about the challenge for me. My time in drama class paid off well, and I slipped into the role of a younger woman, eyes bright with her future ahead of her. It wasn't hard—honestly, with NotABug's enlightenment of my career I already felt like that.

—That one over there.—

I reached a hand up to tap my earpiece.

"I'm sorry, Flash, you're going to need to be more specific. I can see one that might be it…" I said, trailing off.

Walking to the line of folded-open laptop computers, I started moving past each, brushing my fingers over them.

—That one now.—

"Flash, are you absolutely sure of that? Oh, this is so exciting!" I said.

Bouncing on my toes a little, I started tapping on the keyboard, getting a feel for it. The keys were soft, responsive, and gave the quietest little whisper of a click when I touched them. Unlike Countess Bug, "Cantanessa" would be very conscious about price and getting the best deal she could. She would look at lower priced units, comparing numbers that she might have some clue about.

A young man started walking toward me, and for just a moment, I thought I recognized them.

"Rarity!" Snails said, drawling my name a little. "I haven't seen you since—"

Cantanessa's personality fell to pieces like so much of Pinkie Pie's confetti. I turned to Snails and reached up to my earpiece to indicate I was on a call. The ruse worked, and Snails held his greeting.

"Yes ma'am. Of course, I'll get one as an example," I said, then paused as if listening. "And if it works out and is a good price. Yes. Then the company will want a lot of them."

I tapped the earpiece as if turning it off and turned to face Snails. Finishing his sentence off in my head, I thought back and remembered when we had last met, with him dropping out of a bachelor degree in fine arts.

"It's been too long, Snails. You're working here, now?" I asked.

His face lit up. "Yeah. What are you doing in here? I thought you would be working in the city."

Snails was never the brightest spark, but it didn't mean I wanted to put him in a bad position with his boss—I knew how bad it was working in a dead-end job, so I didn't want to make anyone else suffer more than they had to.

Reaching out casually, I tapped the laptop.

"One of these, please," I asked.

Snails blinked in mild shock. He looked at the price tag, then back to me.

"Are—are you sure?" he asked, and looked around conspiratorially. He leaned a little closer and whispered, "You know the prices are fairly negotiable, right?"

He had a point. Cursing myself for being too nice, I leaned a little closer still.

"How much do you have to make to earn a commission on it?" I whispered.

With his mental machinery switching gears for math, I watched Snails struggle to work out the solution. Finally, however, he plucked up a business card and wrote a number on it. It wasn't as high as the label, but it was still far more than I would ever spend on such a thing.

—You like him?—

NotABug's question took me aback. I blinked, lost in two conversations. I racked my brains (what part was obviously under my full control) to think of a way I could partake of both at once but gave up.

"Please. Fetch me one," I said. "You take credit card?"

"Of course! We have a fancy new swiper and everything!"

As Snails turned to collect my new purchase, I had to worry about how to pay for it. I needed to be able to swipe a card, but NotABug didn't have one, and what was worse was needing one in a name that suited a young woman and not NotABug.

Turning away from the target of my ire, my eyes caught a person in the food-court trying to pay for their lunch with a similar card machine. Annoyance started to fill me, that the world would taunt me by showing the exact thing I couldn't do, when a magical event happened.

Not magical like turning into pony-girls and defeating monsters. This was the type of event that muses were made of. I watched as the customer tried—several times—to swipe their card, and when it apparently didn't register, they typed the numbers in by hand.

"How would I make a card not read properly?" I asked, no one but NotABug able to hear me.

—I don't know! If I could get online I might, but you said not to.—

Reaching into my handbag, I pulled out my stylish purse and opened it. There was my poor, heavily laden credit card, showing signs of wear and tear—malls were not happy places for such cards. Beside it, however, was my old card. As if anyone would dispose of their cards while room for them remains.

"The strip. Of course."

Employing one of my completely natural nails, I pressed the point of my excellently manicured fingernail against the side of the strip and pushed. Expecting the worst—a cracked nail—I was pleased to see the strip lift up and part ways with the plastic of the card.

Just then, Snails cleared his throat behind me. I spun to face him, my fingers turning the card just so, and passed it to him.

If I bit my fingernails, I would be sorry—and it would give the game away. I watched Snails swipe my card once, then again. Relief flooded me when he swiped it a third time and nothing worked.

Snails turned to me, a terrified look on his face, and walked over.

"M-M-Miss Rarity? Your card didn't work. I think there might be something wrong with it," Snails said.

"Oh dear! I'm so sorry!" I said. "I completely forgot. I ordered a new card to replace that one. They have sent it and I have the numbers off it, so I could always pop them in manually."

Relief colored Snails' face so perfectly that I almost felt sorry for him. I quickly reminded myself that he was getting paid for this and walked over to the machine. I awaited Snails to get it ready for me, and he told me when to enter the numbers.

—You're really good at this stuff!—

I pulled out a slip of paper from my handbag and discreetly—since there weren't actual credit card details written on the paper—punched in the numbers NotABug sent me. It was different from the last one, and I would have to congratulate him later on the effort to cover our tracks.

"I-I have to ask, sorry. Would you like an extended warranty with that?" Snails asked and looked positively loath to do so.

"No thank you, darling," I said. "Did it go through?"

Snails checked the card reader and nodded happily. I gave him my biggest smile.

We said our goodbyes, and I left the store with an odious-looking cardboard box that had a plastic handle at the top. Despite the lack of chic, or perhaps because of it, I made my way into the more fashionable part of the mall.

I visited a textile distributor who had a small outlet in the mall and found some of the most beautiful light blue silk I had ever seen. Combined with some ivory lace and NotABug's willingness to pay, I almost forgot about the ugly box I was carrying.

Dresses were one thing—I could make those to suit any occasion, but what goes under them seemed an arcane science to me at times. I knew what I wanted out of my underwear, but not how to construct it. So, without the correct weapon to engage the problem, I made my way to an unmentionables store to procure what I needed.

An odd thought struck me just as I was walking into the establishment: was it technically okay to let NotABug look in on this? I had to discard the thought as silly. He had seen me naked, slept with me, and even touched me, but the biggest reason had to be that he was part of me.

I had no idea how long our present situation would last, nor how things would be handled, exactly, but NotABug was closer than my best friends—than even the few gentlemen who had been with me—had ever been. As I walked into the store, I lifted a hand up to the earpiece.

"Darling, I am in the unmentionables store, and I was wondering if you wanted anything in particular?" I asked, even as a young woman walked over to me.

—Me? Uh. Something comfortable, but cute. I think I like cute.—

"Of course. Just stay on the line and whisper your desires to me. A saleslady is coming over," I said, turning and facing the young woman.

The setup was an easy one. As I introduced myself to the young woman, her eyes glanced up to the earpiece more than once. A replacement strapless bra was secured, and I was considering options for something "comfortable" for NotABug, when I decided that it would need to be a little more cute than most would go with.

Summoning all my internal fortitude, I affected a blush and lifted my hand to my mouth in mock shock. Frozen in place, I put on the show of my life without moving more than my arm.

"S-S-Sweetie, I—I'll get something," I said, breathy and hesitating.

I quickly pulled the headset from my ear and shoved it into my handbag, making it seem like I couldn't trust myself to listen to the phantom partner. I saw what I wanted: a vivid-blue teddy, done in the most exquisite laced pattern from neck to crotch. Falling in love with the garment the moment I saw it, I felt a desire to wear it for NotABug, despite his apparent lack of interest.

—That looks comfortable, cute, and exquisite.—

He had never used words quite like those before. I contemplated it in light of his earlier statement about the magic using parts of me to fill in the gaps Windigo made. I lifted my hand and walked toward the piece. It was even more beautiful up close.

"This exquisite piece would make anyone turn their head," the saleswoman said.

I noticed her moving up beside me and caught sight of her eyes flicking to my handbag, where the headset had been discarded.

Giving the woman my size earned me assurance that they had it in stock for me. I smiled warmly and nodded, just the hint of an exclamation of assent leaving my lips. When she walked away to fetch the piece from stock, I had my chance.

"Are you going to pay for this or—" I said.

—Of course. Will the same "broken card" trick work again?—

"Not unless the amount is enough to make her not care."

I turned to look back at the regular shelves and made my way back to the strapless bras. Another of those and two regular, supportive types, and I had quite the value in things. In my head, NotABug kept a tally of the price for me.

"That should do," I said, just as the woman returned. "I thought I should get some other things too."

I waved casually at the counter and saw dollar symbols almost literally appear in the woman's eyes. Either she worked on commission or she was involved in owning or managing it.

Walking casually up to the counter while the saleswoman rang up everything, I reached casually for my purse and then let out an exclamation a hurt, sad puppy would have been proud of.

"Oh dear, I forgot I was getting my new card. You don't mind if I punch it in manually, do you?" I asked.

The woman's eyes flickered between the value on the register and the card machine. It was decision time. If the card number were stolen, she would be left high and dry with the sale. On the other hand, I looked legitimate and was buying it for my own size. She quickly nodded.

"Of course. You have it written down?" she asked.

I didn't need to fake relief—I felt it course through me as she made up her mind. Pulling out the same piece of paper I had used with Snails, I held it so that the woman couldn't see—a safety precaution, of course.

"Thank you so much, darling," I said.

Punching the digits in had to be slow, and I kept my eyes on the blank paper despite just knowing the numbers. Another, different set, but again the machine bleeped when I finished punching them in. I breathed a sigh.

I collected all my purchases and made my way to the little supermarket in the mall. Putting my things into the front of the trolley, I picked up the things my cupboards and refrigerator lacked, but when it came time to collect ice-cream, I paused.

Reaching into my bag again, I pulled out the headset and put it on.

"Darling? Oh, there you are. It was chocolate ice-cream you liked, right?" I asked.

I could almost hear his excited chirp in my head. I reached for the chocolate ice-cream before I even got his reply.

—It's really good!—

It was impossible to argue with his logic. I grabbed a second tub and went about the rest of my shopping. Through the checkout I used my own card simply to make matters easier and avoid any further complications.

Loading up my little car was a chore. There was more stuff than normal, but one of the reasons I had gotten the little thing was the amount of extra space. I woke the car up and felt the now-familiar rush of its extra perceptions.

"This really is something quite amazing to get used to. You're probably an expert at it," I said.

—You called yourself Countess Bug to get the phone. Was that because of me?—

His question stopped me dead in my tracks. I backed up my mental processes, turned the car back off, and settled back in the comfortable seat. It hadn't been just a silly name, but something I had consciously reached for.

"The first part was from Countess Coloratura. That I won't deny. Bug came from, I think, how you looked when you came out of my phone. Those wings, the chitinous body, and your eyes," I said. "I like how you look—looked—and I hope we can get all this sorted, so I can give you a big hug again. You deserve it."

For the first time since leaving home, I felt NotABug nudge at my mind. I relaxed, calmed myself, and let him brush past me. Despite still looking through my own eyes, hearing with my own ears, and feeling the steering wheel with my hands, I controlled none of them.

"I'm sorry. I really don't like that. I guess it came from what they said in the lab. They made me, but then they called me a bug—a mistake," NotABug said, with my voice. "Please don't call me that again."

Reaching for the mobile interface I had been feeling NotABug use, I suddenly realized I had no idea how to handle it still. I prodded lightly, trying to resurface. The moment I felt him surrender control, I gasped some air.

"No. I should be the one apologizing. I should have picked up on that. I'm sorry. I meant what I said before, about you not being a mistake, and I hope you understand that I didn't mean it like that," I said.

While I waited for his reply, I tried to remember his memories, of hearing the man say NotABug was just a bug. It was dismissive, and I could see why it hurt him so much.

—Thanks. Wow, I didn't realize how much that hurt until you said sorry.—

I had to smile a little at his surprise. I activated the car and started backing up, only to pause and let the person crossing behind me move out of the way.

"Be honest with me. Was there anything else I said that hurt?" I asked. "Even just a little, tiny bit?"

Shifting into forward, I put my foot down slowly and the car rolled smoothly away. For just a moment I felt like I should be driving home, where Mom and Dad still lived, but I had to get ready for the party, and that meant finding something to wear.

—I was going to say that was the only thing, and it is, but I realized I said "bugged me." I feel a bit silly now. Why does it feel silly to use words like that?—

"It's humor. Word association and feeling better about the whole thing. Jokes are complicated, and you want to be careful not to give the wrong impression with them," I said, paying close attention to the road.

Turning the last corner into my street, I drove along and had to marvel at how much easier driving was with the extra information from the car. The most astounding thing was being able to turn my head to look to the sides and still see things both ahead and behind me.

—I thought I had already worked out humor. I need that new phone set up so that I can search for these things.—

"We won't be long, darling. I just have to put the ice-cream away first, then put the juice in the fridge, and then we can play with it," I said.

I pulled the car into my driveway and turned it off. The extra perception the car afforded me winked away, almost startling me with how easy I had gotten used to it. Just two drives with my little car keeping me up to date and now driving anything else would be a chore.

Grabbing the important things first, I took the ugly brown computer box inside along with the phone and ice-cream. My existing phone—that was now somewhere inside me—had needed to be charged when I’d first gotten it. I put the ice-cream away, pulled out the new phone, and plugged it in to charge.

"Now I'll get the other things, and that will be ready to use when I’m done. I still have to work out what to wear tonight."

—You could wear the black-and-blue dress from our date.—

I coughed and almost gasped.

"NotABug, I simply couldn't! That wouldn't be fair on my friends. And besides, that dress was…" I said, trailing off.

There had to be a whole slew of reasons why I shouldn't, but for the life of me, the only one I could really think of was that I wouldn’t be there to show off to anyone. But NotABug would be there. Besides, I’d made it to be seen in, hadn't I?

I brought in the bolts of silk I had purchased as well as the rest of the shopping. The fabric went in my sewing room and my new underwear in my bedroom. I froze and looked between the underwear and the door.

"If I turn that phone on, will you need to be in control of me to do your thing with it?" I asked.

—I need to set up something quickly, but once that is done I can do it all remotely. Why?—

My eyes danced, and my gaze settled on the bags.

"Well, I need to make sure they all fit. And I want you to teach me how to do that."

—Do what?—

"That! Sending messages, interacting with that phone," I said and fluttered a hand at my chest vaguely. "If I absolutely must have one inside me, I should learn how to use it properly."

Leaving the underthings, I walked through my house to the kitchen—where the phone sat. I unplugged the phone from the charger and felt NotABug start to prod at me for some front-time. Without a struggle I started to slide back but paused after a moment.

"Oh drat it, now I am getting tired. Set an alarm to wake me in two hours, darling," I said.

I released control, but rather than sink just below the surface of my mind, I fell deep.

Author's Note:

Rarity: Did't you think you should consult your (magical) friends about obviously strange entity that appear out of your phone?

"It's funny, but I had so much trouble even remembering those moments." Rarity reached one hand up and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "It wasn't NotABug's doing, I can see that in his own memories. Oh well, I'm sure Twilight will have some idea about it."


So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
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Editing provided by the wonderful Lab. (I am sorry for all those commas. I am looking into stopping that!)