Fallout: Equestria - Castle of Glass
written by Lord Quantus Mechanicus
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's a good start, though I hope you're not following Fallout 4's tune the whole way!! Keen to see why a pegasus was in this stable rather than another, so I'm expecting more to be revealed!
I'd suggest getting a pre-reader, spotted a few errors but that's the English teacher in me. Solid work, looking forward to more!
Nitpicks
"soury" - sour is just fine!
"a cockroach I think scampered around its enteni" - needs a comma to break up the sentence, and I think you're looking for the word "antennae", but "antennas" also works fine
"I loaded one of the mazanines" - magazines
8890662
I'm not going to follow a Fallout 4 kind of theme the entire way. I will admit, however, that the first few chapters will hold a few references to Fo4 but they will fade out over time. The original FoE had a heavy Fallout 3 influence and that's the reason why I will write it like this.
9130124
Yes there will be. I just haven’t had the time to deal with my fic cuz life got in the way and I’ve had a hard time thinking of ideas.
Interesting premise, one that has a potential to become a great FoE story. Quantum sounds like na interesting character and I’m curious to find out what happened to him. Judging by his “Unmarked” look, it had to be quite na ordeal.
However, there is not a small number of typos littering the place, some issues in tense consistency, a bunch of lengthly sentences that would benefit from a comma or two and also some unnecessarily detailed descriptions that break up the tense moments considerably. Still, it’s nothing that a good editor couldn’t fix. Hoping you’ll continue this story!
9375199
Cool. Thanks for the praise. I promise that after I get some of the stuff in my life handled, I'll continue with this story and iron all the typos and errors out.
9394300
If you need a second pair of eyes to look it over, I think I can help.
Alright, you are welcome and thank you for your answer
9394314
That would be nice. I only have two eyes.
9394397
Well then, just send me a PM when you don’t have so much on your plate and we will talk about the details