Chapter 20: Idle Hooves
They spent a few hours browsing the internet while they waiting for the world to wake up. The first thing they did was finding out where the ponies all were concentrated in the US; the answers were a little surprising. In their state the greater Charleston area, which included them, had a significant population of ponies, but much of the rest of the state had much lower cases of ETS outbreaks, with the exception of a few small areas. They were a large community of ponies surrounded on all sides by primarily humans. Georgia to the south of them had scattered pockets of high pony density and high human density. North Carolina had small pockets of high pony population, but not to the extreme of the Charleston area, and the further north you went after that the rates of transformations got lower and lower. Florida on the other hoof was more pony than human from what the news implied, with the bigger cities being much like the Charleston area, kind of half and half, and suburbs and rural areas were largely pony. They knew that areas further west were largely pony already from news before they themselves had finished transforming. In terms of states on the east coast north of Florida their immediate area seemed the largest concentration of ponies and it was nothing compared to what was going on in the west or in Florida.
Rosetta laid her ears down in disappointment as she observed that most of the universities that she really wanted to attend were in areas that had low transformation rates. This included Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and Chicago. Remedy's eyes about popped when she saw the list of what universities were even on the list, these were all Ivy League schools. There were a number in higher pony density areas too though, several on the west coast. It would mean moving out to like California, Arizona, or Washington state, but there were options. Remedy actually wondered if these universities were still going to be able to operate if most of the local population were ponies with no interest in the universities, schools in lighter pony population centers seemed to be less likely to suddenly have problems. Rosetta said she would look over the options more as things settled down. She still had to figure out how to market herself as a pony to these schools.
After the sun was clearly back out they decided to make their way back to the building the housed the relief staff. It seemed that most of the ponies were awake now, and having breakfast out of the hay. The two did a quick detour to get their own breakfast and try to catch up with their usual crowd of ponies.
"Morning, Mattie," Tonya said as they walked over towards where Tonya and Blessing were eating along with a few other ponies that Remedy didn't personally know.
"It is actually Phobia Remedy now, and Haley is Rosetta Stone now," Remedy said as she sat down next to the large depressing stacks of hay.
"Phobia? Really? Isn't that a little on the nose about your cutie mark? That name isn't one that makes you seem likable," Blessing spoke her concern.
"Complaints about how my name might be taken by humans from the pony that's name is an homage to Sunset Shimmer?" Remedy said with a bit of disbelief.
"She's got you there Blessing, you have a name that gets you added to lists" Tonya giggled. "I am going to be the only oddball pony with a human name in no time at all at this rate. I've changed my name once, and fought hard for that change; I'm not changing it again."
"You weren't added to any sort of list?" Remedy asked curiously.
"Nope, I'm a good pony," Tonya said with a smirk.
"How did you avoid being put on a list and I got put on a list for the sex change?" Remedy asked with consternation.
"My name matched up, they saw a female name, they saw a female, they didn't ask any questions. I didn't realize they gave you a hard time about it. You want me to go with you and talk to them? I might end up on a list too, but I am willing to stick my neck out for a fellow trans sister," Tonya offered.
"No," Remedy sighed. "I figure I will be on a list no matter what as being related to my mom. No need to get you added to the list of troublemakers. They don't even bother keeping it from you, just you're on the list and we're watching you now, be good or we'll get you."
"Well, you aren't going to do anything bad so you shouldn't have anything to worry about. I highly doubt you are going to become the next pony terrorist at large, even if you do have a skull on your flank; you are never going to live that cutie mark down you know," Tonya replied as she checked out Remedy's flank.
"Don't worry, I love you're scary cutie mark. You aren't scary to me, and you'll never get judgement from me," Rosetta said as she kissed Remedy.
"Aren't you the one who points out that it could make others nervous around me all the time," Remedy said as she looked Rosetta in the eyes.
"Well, I don't personally judge you. I just keep you abreast of the fact you might look scary to others. Scary things often aren't really as scary as they seem. Being scared of you is an irrational fear, a phobia, Phobia" Rosetta said as she nuzzled her marefriend.
"Whatever name you are satisfied with I'll be happy with. You're Phobia Remedy and I'm Sunset Blessing, we've moved on from the old human names," Blessing said with a shrug as she took up some more hay in her mouth and chewed it up for a moment before swallowing. "This hay really is bland. Maybe the idea of getting some sort of seasoning or spices wouldn't be a bad idea. I was actually thinking about how we still have a fair amount of can goods here at the church and there are likely more at the other shelters that we can do without now since the humans brought us this and will be bringing more. Perhaps we can distribute the cans to the humans still living in the area who are likely low on food and have no clue when stores are going to open again."
"That's not a bad idea. We aren't eating that stuff. It shouldn't go to waste. Maybe it will get the humans around here to like us a little better," Tonya said as she finished chewing her own hay. "It is weird thinking about humans as the other, considering two weeks ago we were all human. I can't even think of myself that way now. I mean I remember everything about being human, but that just isn't what I am. There are a few ponies, not a lot mind you, that want to be human again and I can kind of understand, but at the same time I just want to stare at them like they are crazy."
"I can get it kind of," Rosetta said as she looked at her own flank for a moment, "I want to get a doctorate in ancient history. It seems like a rather daunting task as a pony. I wouldn't give up being a pony as that would be giving up my marefriend. I am starting to really have confidence for the first time in my life as a pony. Plus you'd have to be crazy to give up flying. Seriously, if any pony with wings says they want to be human I really will ask them if they are crazy. It is like saying they want to have their eyes removed or their legs chopped off; you don't give up your ability to fly."
"Hear hear! My fellow flying pony," Tonya shouted with a laugh. Remedy couldn't help but echo the sentiment in her head, giving up flying was like giving up giving up the ability to walk, maybe worse. You had to be some sort of masochist to do that. Maybe going back to human might be a thing for some of the earth ponies, crystal ponies, maybe even a stray unicorn, but pegasi and night ponies thinking such a thing was just insanity.
"So, want to help me try to organize some ponies to start trying to go out to the humans, Tonya? Maybe you could get the word out to the other shelters?" Blessing asked the pegasus.
"I have a few ponies I know who would be glad to help out. I would be happy to help you do this thing. Not like we are doing much of anything else around here while the government figures out what to do with us," Tonya replied.
"We'd help too, but that sounds like a daytime type job. But tell us if you run into any humans that don't mind ponies who seem to stay up all night. We get a little bored with no guarding to do," Remedy said.
"I think we are all feeling a little restless," Tonya observed. "Government has clamped down on us just doing our thing and now we're sitting around shuffling our hooves. It will be good to be doing something. A lot of ponies will get involved just to be doing something with their time."
"Speaking of doing things with our time; Remedy and I need to check on seeing a doctor. Probably need to find one of those census guys again and get them to take a picture of my cutie mark and give them our new names," Rosetta said as she looked over at the building the humans occupied which was now showing signs of activity.
"Yeah, and it is getting late. We need to get that done so we can get some sleep soon," Remedy yawned. "Tell us how your food drive is going tonight when we see you again."
The two night ponies then left their fellow mares and went over to the building. It was now a fresh set of guards, so hopefully the others had done as they had said they would.
"Hi, we were here last night to see a doctor but none was available to see us at the time. Any chance we can get to see one now?" Remedy asked the new collection of guards; four now instead of three.
"Sure, we were told about you already. Doctor will be seeing you shortly. Fourth room on the right when you go in. Might need to wait a few minutes, but they'll come," one of the soldiers said as another soldier held the door open for them.
"Um, thanks. Nice to know we were paid attention too," Remedy said gratefully as she started walking through the door.
"Don't thank me yet, team director wants a chance to chat you up too. Don't know what for, but she will be by the room as well. Not sure before, during, or after your check up. We were told to inform her about when you came back, to let you see the doctor, and make sure she had a chance to talk to you," the same soldier said.
"So what happens if she doesn't show up by the time we are done with the doctor?" Rosetta asked with a hint of anxiety.
"Going to just have to insist you stay until she does. Sorry, orders and all," the soldier replied apologetically.
Remedy ground her teeth but didn't snap. She had to remind herself the soldier was just doing his job, and this hopefully wouldn't take too long.
They went into the assigned room and sat down to wait. The room looked like it had been a classroom, or was still was technically. There were small desks and a large dry erase board on the wall. Posted on the walls were lots of drawings of Christian sayings, signs saying God Loves Me, Noah's ark themed version of the alphabet in a banner along one wall, and other things meant to indoctrinate young students. There were also essays and artwork of various students posted up on the walls for all to see. The quality of the work combined with the comic Christian motifs, not to mention the smaller desks, indicated this was likely elementary school students.
"They lay the religion on pretty hard here," Rosetta said as she glanced around.
"Eh, a bit. It isn't so bad. Both me and Tonya attended a private school like this for elementary school. Yeah, they like to bring up God, constantly, but it really isn't worse than a typical elementary school," Remedy said as she looked around at the artwork displayed.
"Not middle and high though?" Rosetta asked.
"Parents didn't feel like paying for it and thought getting me to see more people would be good for me. In Tonya's case I think it was becoming clear to her parents that she was going to embarrass them if she kept going to a Christian school," Remedy said with a look of mild displeasure. "It was probably a good thing for her and for me. That much time we didn't get it ground into our heads we were freaks."
"But you weren't out, even to yourself back then," Rosetta said with confusion.
"Didn't mean it didn't get under my skin still. I had to know on some level, it just was under the surface," Remedy said with lowered ears as she looked at a child's artwork that showed a child who didn't look particularly happy, and looked particularly small next to the drawings of their parents. She touched a hoof up to it wondering what went on with that child, and what that child feared.
"Aww, sorry to keep you waiting," a woman in a doctors coat said as she entered the room. "Your my first patients on the day. First patients at all actually. Well, pony ones that is."
The doctor came in and sat a pair of larger overstuffed bags and a laptop down on the desk. Then turned to them with a smile.
"Hi, I'm doctor Susan Muller, and you two are?" She asked cheerfully.
"I'm Phobia Remedy, but you can just call me Remedy. This is Rosetta Stone," Remedy said. "Do you need our legal human names?"
"Not right now if you prefer not to use those. When writing up my report I will need them. If you want to be called by these names that is fine with me. Nice to meet you both," she said with a smile. Then she went into her bags and shuffled around for a moment and pulled out a notepad and pen. "Okay, so is this just a regular checkup or are you experiencing any sort of problems?"
"I got hit in the eye a few days ago. I had some swelling and still have some. I figure it isn't a big deal, but better safe than sorry," Rosetta said with a gesture of a wing towards her eye.
"I'm not having any problems. Just need a regular checkup," Remedy said.
"Alright, this all seems easy enough. I'll look at that eye in just a moment. Normally I would ask you both to fill out forms of medical history and so on first, but that might not be productive if you are stuck doing that by mouth. I do need that information though still. Do you each prefer me ask you about those things private one on one, or do you both want to just answer together?" Susan asked.
"I don't mind Rosetta hearing about mine," Remedy said.
"I suppose I have no problem with that," Rosetta quickly said herself.
"Good," Susan said as she pulled a laminated chart out her bag and set it on top of her notepad. "Alright, first question; were either of you on any sort of medication right before your transformation or since?"
Both of mares shook their heads no.
"Okay, next question; did either of you use any illicit drugs before or after your transformation?" Susan asked.
Again both mares shook their heads.
"Any use of alcohol or tobacco before or after the transformation?" Susan asked.
"Um, pack a day smoker before transformation. Drank recreationally once and a while but never drunk, maybe had maybe two or three drinks a week, both before transformation. Nothing for either since," Rosetta said. Remedy just shook her head no.
"Last time you had sex before or after transformation and whether you used protection," Susan continued.
"Never had sex before or after," Remedy said.
"Um, day after transformation I had sex with a stallion. I had no protection. Not even sure what I could do for protection as a pony. Had sex maybe three times a week on average with same partner before transformation with him using condoms," Rosetta said, now looking a little worried. Remedy was actually relieved as she wouldn't have to try to find a way to bring up they needed to at least check on that.
Susan continued asking questions for a few minutes. She would from time to time ask follow up questions, making notes the whole time.
"Okay, going to do some other basic stuff. Take your blood pressure, heart rate, listen to your breathing, all that. We don't actually have guidelines yet on what normal is for any of those things for a pony, but the data will eventually get combined against others and we will be able to form an idea. So this part is more for science than anything unless something seems seriously wrong," Susan said as she started pulling the appropriate equipment out. The two mares accepted this with grace.
After a string of such tests, and a lot more notes Susan finally pulled out her ophthalmoscope and got to inspecting Rosetta's eye. She spent a few minutes at it, and did a bit of light touching around the edges of the eye and lid with a gloved hand to check swelling and tenderness. Rosetta took it all in stride, only involuntarily blinking a few times.
"I think the eye will be fine, the swelling seems minimal and you indicate it is on decline. Pony eyes seem to be far more resilient and durable than human ones. That is a good thing considering how much bigger they are. I would like to do a basic pregnancy test, but it is probably too soon if there is anything to get a proper reading, and we don't have good ideas on what the right readings on such things are yet. I will be getting more information on that as soon as I can as I highly doubt you are the only mare who has unprotected sex and pregnancy is going to start happening. I am not trying to scare you, but I would like you to come back to me or another doctor in a week to see if we can follow up on that. Other than that you both seem perfectly healthy from what I can tell at this point. Let me get your legal names and I will write up your reports on my own time if I don't have an army of ponies beating down the door to see me. We are going to start doing a full regional checkup in a day or two but you two are excused from that since you just had one," Susan explained.
"I'll make sure you are given their legal names shortly doctor, but if you wouldn't mind stepping outside well out of earshot I would like to talk with our resident night ponies. I am sure they are tired and I am in a hurry," came a voice from the doorway.
Standing in the doorway was a shorter dark haired, dark skinned woman, with an air of authority to her and a suit on that could have come out of Men in Black. Susan gave a hasty goodbye and hurried out of the room, leaving her items to be picked up in a few minutes.
"Which one of you happens to be Matthew? We have some things to discuss," the woman said as she walked in.
Remedy really started worrying about those lists now.
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Ah, the people with the lists. Question is, is she suspicious because of her mother, or has she heard about how Remedy didn't immediately gulp Sunset's pony cool aid.
our?
who?
8921726
doing an editing pass now before falling asleep.
Interesting thus far. I have little in the way of bigger-picture thoughts until the story is complete, but here are a couple of points of note:
-Humans (and ponies in the show) use contractions in dialogue a lot more than has been written thus far. I'm going to excuse some of this based on assuming a good chunk of the writing is done on a phone. I don't know that this accounts for all of it, though.
-You're joining speech and narration exclusively by dialogue-tagging. This is hurting the resulting sentences as they twist in uncomfortable ways to accommodate all the information you want them to carry. I suggest using action tags in many cases. (link: fimfiction writing guide)
-You have a problem in the dialogue itself of characters frequently going on paragraph or multi-paragraph rants, usually expository. Outside of a formal setting like a meeting, lecture, or sermon, people don't let each other talk that long before inserting themselves into the conversation. So real conversation has a back-and-forth quality with bizarre flow and contortions, and sometimes people don't ever get the chance to say everything they wanted to. Most of your shorter dialogue does reflect this and would serve as a better example for the rest.
-The above problem of expository paragraphs is not limited to dialogue. When this happens--dialogue or otherwise--the prose becomes very much telling instead of showing, and while telling has good uses too, in this story's case it usually weakens the narrative and disrupts its flow.
Clearly, "a couple" means "four."
More must have more. Keep up the good work.
PS I hate cliff hangers.
img00.deviantart.net/9a8f/i/2011/078/f/5/pinkie_pie_is_watching_you____by_kefkafloyd-d3by3pd.png
Hear hear
How do they not know how to check up on ponies I would think any vet would know how to check up on them and would definitely know about pregnancy