Resonance
As soon as Sunset walked in the door with her friends, she fired up the matrix for the scrying spell. Before her visit to Moon Dancer, Sunset had taken the time to set up the reservation and place a small scrying orb in one of the hanging ferns above the balcony where Twilight and Moon Dancer were to have their date. It was a secluded corner of the balcony, too. Good for mostly private conversations and convenient fern placements.
Now, if only she could get the receiving orbs to work again.
Minuette fiddled with one of the arcane devices before whacking it with a hoof.
“That worked this afternoon!” Sunset protested.
“And before then, when’s the last time you actually used these?” Minuette asked, not looking up from the orb as she gave it a second whack.
“Okay, fine, it’s been a while.”
Minuette gave it a third whack… and it burst with light. She clapped her hooves with glee and Sunset breathed a sigh of relief.
The orb at the Carriage House was just a transmitter. The real work was done by the four receiving orbs. She’d found them in a dusty box filled with old school reports that she should have thrown out years ago. After a quick probe, they seemed to still be operational—more or less.
“So, remind me how you know this spell?” Minuette asked, the very picture of innocence.
“Seriously?” Sunset raised an eyebrow as she tried tweaking another orb to get a better signal lock. “Does it matter?”
“You do seem to be going through a lot of trouble to spy on them,” Cheerilee noted. Her voice seemed relatively neutral, but Sunset didn’t buy it.
“I want to make sure they have a good time!” Sunset insisted. “Hey, I put a lot of work into tonight!”
“We’re not saying you haven’t, Sunny,” Rara replied casually as she watched Sunset and Minuette work on the orbs. “In fact, we’re saying that you may have gone a bit overboard.”
“You saw them earlier!” Sunset said. “You can’t tell me you don’t want to watch how this goes!”
“Well… of course I do…” Coco murmured.
“No kidding,” Rara said as she poked her best friend. “You were laying it on pretty thick back at Moon Dancer’s.”
Coco blushed and mumbled something about being cute.
Rara turned her gaze back on Sunset. “You’re not really answering—”
To Sunset’s surprise, Cheerilee cut Rara off. “It’s okay, girls. I’m sure Sunset just wants to make sure they’re happy, right?”
Sunset stared, unable to read the expression on Cheerilee’s face. “Yeah… yeah, that’s it.”
You almost believe that, don’t you? said an unwelcome voice in the back of her head. Tsk-tsk.
“And let’s be honest… we all want to see it, too!” Minuette chirped. “This is going to be great! As long as you tell me how you know the spell!”
Sunset facehoofed. “Can I just say my sordid past and be done with it?”
“Sure!” Minuette offered with a smile.
“Hey, at least I’m using my power for good now!” Sunset flushed. “Mostly.”
It was the best rationalization she had.
The four small crystalline orbs set along the bottom of the wall amplified the image and projected it over the entirety of the window that normally overlooked Canterlot. There was some bustle as the girls moved a few of the sofas so they could watch. As Moon Dancer and Twilight received their menus from their waitress, a knock at the door signaled the arrival of the salads Sunset had scheduled to arrive around this time.. Coco went to go get them while the rest of the girls got comfortable and Sunset tweaked the spell a little.
The real trick was the sound. In the end, she had to use an arcane tether to further amplify the signal. Sunset had pushed herself to get a good connection between the transmitter in the fern and her home, but it had worked in the end. The audio wouldn’t be great quality—since any sort of spellcasting beyond basic levitation would interfere with the signal—but at least it would be better than trying to lipread or something like that.
Anyway, having one of them narrate what the two were saying would be just weird.
Coco arrived with the bag and handed out the girls’ dinners. To Sunset’s complete lack of surprise Coco and Rara plopped down together. Cheerilee took one of the recliners and Minuette took up half of Sunset’s comfiest sofa.
After making sure her friends were situated, Sunset took the old love seat, a battered old thing that she’d had ever since she’d moved in here. It was teal with tan stripes, had more tea stains than she could count and was shabby enough to send her parents into apoplectic fits.
Sunset ran a hoof across the worn surface and remembered how many times she’d fallen asleep reading in this very chair. It helped soothe her nerves. Just a little. Not that they really needed soothing. But it couldn’t hurt.
Sunset flopped down into it and took a bite of her salad. She glared at bland leaves, levitated some pepper over from the kitchen and tried again. Good enough.
She shook her head and stared at the screen. She’d worked hard for this. Yes, it had been thrown together in less than two days. But there was no denying the chemistry between the two. Especially after their expressions on seeing each other.
This was a good thing. Tonight would be good. They needed this. Sunset needed this. Everypony needed this.
She kept her focus and made sure to ignore any disagreements in her skull.
This is fine. This is just fine.
“Turn up the sound, Sunny!” Minuette called.
Sunset rolled her eyes, focused on the rightmost orb and rotated it slightly to the left. As she did so, the five ‘secret’ observers heard the first words spoken between the two that evening.
“You… um… you look…”
Moon Dancer mentally kicked herself. For pony’s sake, you’rebetter than this!
“You look… amazing, Twilight.”
Moon Dancer wasn’t surprised when Twi blushed again and refused to meet her eyes.
“T-thank you,” Twi murmured, fiddling with one of her bangs. “You look nice, too.”
I only rate as ‘nice?’ Moon Dancer grumbled to herself, especially after what Sunny, Coco and Rara had put her through. Still, at least Twi had been able to get through a few words without stumbling over her own tongue… much.
Sunny, I swear, I’m going to strangle you for this.
Twi peeked up and met Moon Dancer’s eye for just a split second before looking back down at her menu.
Probably.
Moon Dancer tried not to grip the sides of the menu too hard. She’d been here once or twice before. The grilled carrot platter was decent. But was that a good call? Carrots did get stuck in a pony’s teeth after all. And the last thing she wanted was for Twi to lean forward—almost as if she were getting ready to do something else—only to point out there was something in her teeth.
Awkward beyond measure.
That’s when it hit her. She was on a date with Twilight Sparkle. The mare she’d had a crush for pretty much her whole life.
Okay. Forget Sunny and her issues. She made her choice… and I’m being a good friend by respecting that!
Right?
Right! So now, I just need to focus on not acting like a total lunatic in front of Twi. That’s all. Nothing to it!
While these thoughts were going through Moon Dancer’s head, another part of her was repeating the same six words.
I can’t believe I’m doing this… I can’t believe I’m doing this… I can’t believe—
“And what would the ladies like to drink this evening, hm?”
Moon Dancer yelped and threw her menu into the air. Before she could react, it floated over the balcony and dropped to the street below.
Her jaw worked for a few moments, her eyes looked everywhere but at Twi and her entire body tried to vaporize itself on the spot.
The waiter, a middle-aged stallion with a slicked-back mane and a haughty expression that didn’t match the laughter in his eyes, just raised an eyebrow.
“I’d like a glass of sparkling cider, please,” Twi mumbled from somewhere far, far, far away.
“That sounds great!” Moon Dancer squeaked.
“And perhaps a new menu?” the waiter offered.
Moon Dancer tried to glare him to death.
The waiter took the hint and turned to head back inside. Moon Dancer definitely did not notice the smile. Or the faint chuckle.
Unfortunately, without the menu to protect her from Twi, Moon Dancer was now stuck with nothing to shield herself with. The salt and pepper shakers weren’t nearly big enough.
Despite her dress, she’d never felt more naked in her life.
And considering she didn’t usually wear clothes—save for her trademark sweater while working at the Cosmo—that was saying something.
Twi, however, still had hers and she was using it quite effectively as a talisman against the demons of awkwardness that had descended on Moon Dancer.
“Did she really just do that?” Minuette howled from the floor. It was a miracle she could get out the words. She gasped for breath between the fits of laughter.
Sunset’s hoof still hadn’t left her face. Seeing that menu go flying over the balcony… everypony had cracked up at that. Even Sunset.
And for the first time that night, Sunset had actually smiled a real smile about the night’s events.
She wasn’t quite sure why yet. Maybe she’d figure it out later.
To her surprise though, when Minuette finally got up to her hooves, she jumped over to land next to Sunset on her little worn loveseat.
“How you doing, Sunny?” Minuette asked, her voice a little bit more sedated than usual.
“I’m fine,” Sunset answered automatically.
She could feel Rara’s eyes on her and did her best not to squirm.
“Hey, at least I’m enjoying the show.”
That was the truth.
Sunset was sure of one thing: it was only going to get more interesting as the night progressed.
Twilight did not notice the incident with the menu.
Twilight did not notice the way Moon Dancer’s voice kept cracking.
Twilight did not notice just how stunning Moon Dancer looked in that dress.
Twilight did notice that she was a terrible liar.
Especially to herself.
Logically, I am in denial. Simple denial as to the events which have transpired. However, I cannot allow my personal feelings to get in the way of the night’s goal.
Which immediately made her wonder what tonight’s goal was. That was one thing she was still trying to figure out: the precise logic behind the maddening social custom known as ‘The Date.’
Twilight paused and replayed the last few thoughts through her head until she determined the thoughts did not seem quite as coherent as they should have been.
Weren’t dates supposed to be about personal feelings?
Twilight didn’t notice when the waiter brought back the menu and Moon Dancer savagely snatched it out of his unresisting hoof with a flash of magic.
She didn’t notice when Moon Dancer dove behind the menu as if she were hiding from an arrow barrage.
Twilight focused on the menu. She was unsure how long it would take for the waiter to return to take their orders. She should be choosing a reasonably-priced meal. After all, since technically neither of them asked the other out on this date, it was reasonable to assume they would pay separately. Or perhaps Sunset had decided to handle the bill. She should ask the server so she could make an informed decision. However, would that been seen as crass by Moon Dancer? She didn’t want to appear unwilling to financially commit to a romantic relationship with her first friend.
However, these thoughts were in the background of her mental space, despite the fact that they had enough value to be at the forefront. The majority of her mind was trying to determine what had happened in the last forty-eight hours.
Fact: Approximately forty-three hours ago, Moon Dancer and Sunset Shimmer had some sort of social disagreement or conflict involving—or on the subject of—me.
Twilight studied the fact for a moment, accepted it as valid and moved to the next one.
Fact: Shortly before noon yesterday, Sunset Shimmer arrived at my domicile to speak to me and informed me… informed me…
Twilight gritted her teeth and forced the thoughts to come.
…informed me that she ‘liked me too much.’
Twilight looked up at Moon Dancer. Their eyes met. Blushes appeared. Both hid once more.
Fact: Immediately after this information was delivered, Sunset Shimmer suggested I spend some time with Moon Dancer. She didn’t directly state it would be in a romantic fashion, but it was heavily implied. It was safe to take that as a fact as well.
Looked up. Got embarrassed. Looked down.
Fact: I am now sitting across from Moon Dancer at what is—by all appearances and expected social definitions and most importantly logical conclusions—a date.
Twilight blinked. She ran through the data again.
The data was sound.
The data still didn’t make sense.
Nothing about this made sense.
However, she could not ask for further clarification. That would simply compound her errors. It was her fault for not understanding social dynamics. It was a field of which she was woefully ignorant.
Perhaps if she considered tonight to be a field study. Time to get one’s hooves dirty. Seek further information. Actually gain insight.
Perhaps compile a research paper on it. And never let anypony ever see it.
Ever.
Fact: Due to my ignorance of social custom, dating decorum and my own friends, I will likely make a fool out of myself.
She couldn’t find a way to dispute that fact.
Instead, she put down the menu, looked up at Moon Dancer—who was still using her menu as a shield—and said the first thing that came into her head.
“So, Moon Dancer. Tell me about yourself.”
Coco groaned, putting a hoof to her forehead.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this,” Cheerilee said, unable to look at the screen. “After all… this is rather private…”
“No way!” Minuette chirped. “We’re their friends. And what could make them happier than being together?”
“From the expression on their faces, just about anything,” Rara said with a snort.
“Plus, Sunset pretty much told Moon Dancer she was going to be spying on them!” Coco pointed out. “Well, more or less…”
Sunset had to hold back her own snort. The two of them looked so incredibly awkward and terrified of one another… it was cute. It was actually cute.
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Sunset rolled her eyes as Moon Dancer fumbled for words. Any words.
Assuming they ever actually have a conversation.
“Um.”
Wow, Moon Dancer. Smooth. Seriously smooth. You’re better than this!
Actually… no. I’m not. I’m usually better with Sunny. I’ve been awkward with Twi since that night two months ago. But still! I can handle this!
Moon Dancer snagged her water and took a drink. That made it easier. She didn’t have to talk while drinking. Until she ran out of water.
Maybe she shouldn’t have drunk so fast.
She hiccuped.
Moon Dancer adjusted her glasses with a flash of magic. She took a deep breath.
“Well, I’m a librarian.”
She knows that, idiot!
“Um… yeah. I knew that,” Twi pointed out, not quite meeting her eyes. She played with one of her bangs. She almost started to nibble on it.
Moon Dancer sort of wished she would. She was cute when she did that.
Ugh! Okay, fine! Something! Anything!
“Well, Twilight… we… kinda already know a lot about each other.”
“Oh… right…” Twi’s voice was tiny and embarrassed. Just like the pony. She actually cringed in her seat. And Moon Dancer felt like an idiot again.
Twi tried again. “Um… why don’t… errr…”
What can I talk about that won’t bring up painful memories or bring up Sunset… which for Twi, are probably all the same thing?
Well, I could always go with what she asked me.
“Why don’t I tell you about how I ended up at the Cosmo!” Moon Dancer blurted in a voice that was about five times too loud.
Twi’s ears plastered themselves to her head. She even winced. Just a little, but it was still there.
“Sorry,” Moon Dancer muttered. “I’m… I’m…”
“That sounds nice.”
“Huh?” Moon Dancer blinked.
Confusion caused her to miscalculate. And miscalculation caused Moon Dancer to actually look Twi squarely in the eye for the first time that evening. Moon Dancer’s breath caught in her throat.
She’s the same pony I remember. The one that got away. She’s still hesitant. Still doesn’t have a clue about friends. Doesn’t have a clue how to deal with other ponies.
But she’s still Twilight.
“I’d like to hear that story,” Twi said.
Luckily, Moon Dancer had never secretly read a single one of those C.W. Step romance novels Coco loved. Not a single one.
However, if she had read one, she would have considered how the moonlight was reflecting off of Twilight’s glasses, sending little prisms of stars and light around her head. How her bangs cast trailing shadows on her lavender coat. About how the light caught ever so slightly in Twilight’s gentle raspberry magic flowing around her horn.
Moon Dancer reminded herself that her friends knew, without a doubt, she had never read a single one. And as long as Rara didn’t inquire—or anypony check the Cosmo’s records—they would continue to believe that. Nope. No proof that she had ever read even a word.
Poetic license aside, Twi looked so honest. So earnest. Moon Dancer would have given anything to know what was going through her head. Was this an act? Was Twi really just hoping that Sunny would come along and take her away from Moon Dancer?
Was Moon Dancer just meant to be a placeholder for Sunny until Sunny got her act together?
Neither mare had blinked yet.
No. Moon Dancer realized. No. I’ve known Twilight Sparkle for years. She was my first friend. And I’m pretty sure I was her first friend.
I can make this work.
I can make this work.
I just need to try.
Moon Dancer licked her lips.
“Okay,” she said. It was the first word she had managed all night without sounding like a terrified lunatic. She was sure nerves would overtake her once more all too soon, so she’d better do the best she could while she still had the power of articulate speech. “Okay. I can do that. I think I can do that. I can… I can do that.”
“Are they actually going to have a conversation?” Minuette squealed with glee, bouncing up and down in the loveseat next to Sunset.
“Aww…” Coco pouted. “I wanted to them be more adorkable!”
Sunset stared at Coco. “What?”
Coco smiled, a faint blush tinting her cheeks. “Adorkable. You’ve never heard it before?”
“Uh… not that I can recall.” Sunset frowned.
“It’s something I like to call Coco when she gets embarrassed about little details,” Rara said with a nudge and a smile.
Coco went a little bit more pink. Just a little. But then she adjusted her cravat, fiddled with the flower in her mane and took a deep breath, as if she were about to impart some arcane secret of the universe.
“It’s um… a combination of the words ‘adorable’ and… well... ‘dork.’”
Sunset blinked a few times and turned her attention back to the screen. She studied the two mares critically for about five seconds.
It was exactly four and a half seconds longer than she needed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more apt word,” Sunset muttered.
Cheerilee rolled her eyes.
Minuette snickered.
Coco giggled.
Rara laughed.
And Sunset smiled.
“And that’s when Tight Catalog said, ‘If this is you on two hours of sleep, I’m almost terrified to see what you can do after a full eight.’”
Twilight snorted herself into giggles.
“And you had the job?”
“Yeah. A year before I even graduated on the fast track through—”
Moon Dancer suddenly stopped talking and dropped her gaze. Twilight hadn’t meant to stiffen. She really hadn’t. It was a knee-jerk psychological reaction of which she had next to no control.
That didn’t make her feel any better about it.
Thankfully, as the ratio from pleasant to awkward once more shifted in the direction of awkward, the waiter returned with a small notepad and a self-inking quill floating in front of him. Beside him, another server quickly placed a tray of various breads on the table and refilled Moon Dancer’s and Twilight’s glasses.
“Would the ladies like to order now?”
“Oh, by Celestia yes,” Moon Dancer muttered. “Anything to stop me from putting my hoof in my mouth again.”
The waiter paused and cocked an eyebrow. Twilight’s levitation field around her menu imploded and it flopped to the table.
Moon Dancer swallowed and closed her eyes.
“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
“It is a busy night,” the waiter offered. “I had difficulty hearing you.”
“But she…” Twilight started, only to be stopped by a pointed look from the waiter.
Twilight blinked. She had missed a social cue. Like usual. The waiter wished to pretend he hadn’t heard Moon Dancer’s statement. On closer examination, Twilight found this to be a reasonable—and entirely understandable—desire that she could support, despite it being less than truthful.
“Yes, it was quite loud below a few moments ago!” Twilight nearly shouted.
Moon Dancer winced.
The ponies on the balcony across the street glanced at her.
Even the waiter took a step back.
Twilight wondered what the homelands of the Zebras were like this time of year and calculated how much magical energy it would take to teleport there.
After reviewing the result, she quickly recalculated for Griffonstone.
All while a couple crickets—who Twilight suspected knew of the theory of narrative causality—chirped.
“I’ll have the um… Zucchini Parmigiana,” Moon Dancer muttered while Twilight did her best to avoid the fact that Moon Dancer’s face was still the color of a strawberry.
“Excellent choice,” the waiter said with a little nod and made a scribble in his notepad. “And you, madam?”
Twilight blinked. She’d never been called a ‘madam’ before. At least, to the best of her knowledge. She didn’t run in those type of circles. She wasn’t sure if she qualified to be called such a—
Twilight shook her head and forced her attention back to the menu. It took more effort than it should have.
“Eggplant Parmesan,” she squeaked.
“Ah, you will find our eggplant most wonderful,” the waiter said with a nod of approval. “It is our head chef’s speciality and she is in rare form tonight, if I do say so myself.”
“That’s… good?” Twilight offered in a desperate attempt at using her words.
Usually words were her friends. She loved words. Words loved her.
No, that was inaccurate.
Printed words loved her.
Spoken words were printed words’ rowdy and obnoxious cousin who drank far too much cider when everypony else was having a simple and quiet dinner party.
Fact: my analogies need work.
Still, these spoken words seemed to have the desired effect. The waiter smiled faintly, nodded once more and departed from the table.
Moon Dancer looked at Twilight.
Twilight looked at Moon Dancer.
Twilight bit her lip.
Moon Dancer bit her lip.
Twilight made a decision.
To Tartarus with social protocol. And dating etiquette. And all the rest of that nonsense. Sometimes… a pony has got to do what a pony has got to do.
“Moon Dancer?” Twilight forced her voice into something resembling the voice of a sane pony. She put her hooves on the table top to help steady herself in more ways than one. “Can I ask you something?”
Moon Dancer nodded. She was still biting her lip.
“Why?”
Moon Dancer blinked. “Why what?”
“Why… did you agree to this? Unless this was actually your plan. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if it was. I wouldn’t object. Just that… after everything that’s happened in the last two months and so very much has happened in the last two months that I can barely comprehend where I am right now and honestly wonder if I’m actually having some hallucination or dream which could very well be possible but then again maybe this is real and maybe Sunset actually wanted us together which is strange and I don’t understand because Sunset seemed to—no, that’s not important because I already had that conversation with Cheerilee and I shouldn’t be dwelling on that or else I would just being going around and around and around and around and around and then I’d get very dizzy have trouble thinking and just run my mouth off probably a lot like I’m doing right now only I still don’t understand what’s going here and really hope this is actually happening and I’m not gibbering in the corner somewhere because I’ve lost my mind and that—”
A sudden but gentle physical pressure gave her pause. It was a physical pressure she was unaccustomed to. Indeed, it was so unfamiliar, she wasn’t sure what was actually happening until she saw the faint glow of the magic field near her hooves.
The table was too wide for Moon Dancer to reach her physically. Well, not without jumping atop the table, which was probably more than Moon Dancer was prepared to do at this juncture. So, the other unicorn had improvised.
She was levitating a small sourdough roll against Twilight’s right forehoof.
Twilight stared at it.
Twilight then stared at Moon Dancer.
So, this is real.
Twilight’s mouth snapped shut. Oddly enough, Moon Dancer didn’t remove the roll. As if she were putting it there as a substitute for a comforting hoof. A calming hoof.
Sunset did that occasionally when Twilight went into a panic attack. Did Moon Dancer learn this calming technique from her? Had Sunset put that much effort into helping the two of them connect? To make sure that tonight went well for all involved?
Fact: I have amazing friends.
The thought struck her from nowhere. It was indisputable. Irrefutable. She had physical evidence to this simple truth before her. Further evidence was still being pushed against her hoof ever so gently.
In that simple gesture, Twilight managed to finally break the surface of the ocean of chaos, if only for a moment.
She swallowed her discomfort.
“Why did you want to do this, Moon Dancer?”
Everypony in Sunset’s apartment was leaning forward, eyes glued to the screen. Their ears were perked. Minuette was practically vibrating. No, actually, she was really vibrating. Coco was making very faint squeeing noises.
Rara was grinning widely.
Cheerilee… looked away for a moment.
She looked at Sunset.
Sunset could feel her eyes. She’d learned a lot about Cheerilee over the last few years. She’d learned to tell when the teacher was worried about her.
A passage from A Study on Chaos Theory drifted back to her. It was from one of the early chapters, where the author had waxed nostalgic about the powers of Harmony, even touching on the mythical so-called ‘Elements of Harmony.’ The passage was actually a quote of an even older text from nearly a thousand years ago, attributed to none other than Starswirl the Bearded. While somewhat convoluted, the key phrase went something like this…
“One must sacrifice in order to create Harmony. This is not a sacrifice of the body. It is the sacrifice of self. The sacrifice of pride. Even in the smallest of situations, it is nothing less than the decision to allow others into one’s life.”
Sunset turned and smiled at Cheerilee.
Cheerilee didn’t smile back. Instead, her expression changed to one of pain. Sunset shook her head, trying to communicate a thousand things she couldn’t articulate with a single gesture.
Somehow… Cheerilee understood. She nodded ever-so-faintly and slowly turned her head back to the screen.
The exchange had taken seconds… and it had taken lifetimes. Sunset swallowed even as Minuette scooted forward to sit right in front of the screen—though in a position that wouldn’t be blocking anypony’s view.
“One must sacrifice in order to create Harmony…”
Sunset swallowed again and forced herself to await Moon Dancer’s answer.
Somehow, the act of comforting Twi in the midst of her panic-driven rant had pushed Moon Dancer in some sort of strange realm of serenity. She thought it was pretty stupid.
But here she was.
Now, there were hundreds of ways she could answer Twi’s question. But anything other than the absolute truth wouldn’t be right. It would be a lie. And if she did that, the real motivation behind such an act would be fear.
Fear had driven Twi away from all of her friends for years. Fear of Sunset Shimmer. When Moon Dancer looked back at it, she couldn’t help but feel it was a stupid reason. Even Twi had admitted that.
But it didn’t mean it wasn’t a valid reason.
Twi had wrecked years of friendship because of fear. Moon Dancer wasn’t going to berate her, but she also wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake.
“Because I’ve always wanted to,” Moon Dancer whispered so quietly that Twi leaned forward to hear her. “For as long as I’ve known you, Twi, you’ve been this brilliant… genius of a pony. When I was in my first year at GU, you were already studying books fourth-years had trouble with. You… you’re the one who took me to the Cosmo for the first time back when we were fillies. You introduced me to the world of books. I… adored you.”
Moon Dancer smirked just a little, though she couldn’t meet Twi’s eyes. She could meet her nose though.
It was close enough.
“It didn’t hurt that you were cute. Like… really, really cute. And… well, you’ve just gotten cuter.”
Twi’s jaw dropped open. Moon Dancer looked up for just an instant. What she saw was a stunned pony, unable to process what was going on around her.
To be honest, Moon Dancer wasn’t really processing it either. Some part of her was screaming like a lunatic, panicking and completely freaking out that she was actually saying these things in front of Twilight Sparkle to Twilight Sparkle.
But that part seemed far away.
Twi’s eyes started to twitch ever so slightly.
Sunny does that…
She prodded Twi with the roll again. It was enough to distract Twi before she got lost in her own head again.
“Did you… um… just call me… um…” The last word was almost below the range of pony hearing. “…cute?”
Moon Dancer nodded, suddenly unable to meet Twi’s eyes again. She found herself twiddling the roll a little, making it do little tricks, hops and skips.
“Then… why did you never say anything?” she whispered. The whisper didn’t last long. Her voice grew in volume with every word. “You were my first friend, Moon Dancer. My only one! I knew Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine, but you were the only one who was there with me the whole time!”
Twi’s glasses fell off and landed with a plunk atop the roll. It was enough to force Moon Dancer to look Twi in the eye again.
Moon Dancer’s heart seized in her chest.
Twilight was crying.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” she asked again, her voice little more than a desperate plea.
“Because I was young and stupid!” Moon Dancer snapped. “Because I didn’t deserve a genius like you! And because… because…”
She clamped down hard on the anger that threatened to overwhelm her. It was an unfamiliar anger, one she hadn’t felt in so very long. It had been buried for years. Long enough for it become something else…
Resentment.
Moon Dancer took another drink of water.
The glass was empty within a few seconds.
Fact: I have just ruined my first date ever by being an incompetent, emotional lunatic who can’t shut up!
Fact: I have just ruined my renewed friendship with my first friend because I couldn’t say something easy like ‘thank you.’
Fact: I don’t deserve the friends I have.
And finally, there was one more indisputable piece of data:
Fact: This is my fault.
“You didn’t say anything because I pushed you away,” Twilight mumbled.
Moon Dancer’s head twitched. Twilight took it as a nod. She wiped her eyes, but didn’t put her glasses back on. It was easier if Moon Dancer was a little blurry right now.
It was the act of a coward.
Twilight knew she was socially inept, so cowardice seemed as good a course as any. At least visually. Then maybe she could say the words she needed to.
“I didn’t want to,” Twilight mumbled. “I didn’t want to push you away. You tried harder than anypony to bring me around after that summer. But I came back in the fall and… and… I saw you. I saw you with her.”
Twilight didn’t need to say who ‘her’ was. They both knew. Even she knew. Everypony knew. Everypony knew that Twilight was just a coward. Three months ago, she wouldn’t have cared.
Friendship made life complicated. A part of her missed that simple life. That easy life.
That lonely life.
She didn’t want to listen to that part anymore. That part was mean. It was a jerk. And it needed to go away.
“Twilight…” Moon Dancer said as she grabbed another random piece of bread and fiddled with it in her magic. “One thing I don’t know… why were you so scared of her?”
Twilight laughed. It wasn’t a happy laugh. It wasn’t an appropriate laugh for a date. However, any semblance of ‘romance’ had been shattered by her stupid words.
Fact: Moon Dancer will want nothing to do with me after tonight.
She thought about Sunset’s words to her in the depths of the Royal Canterlot Archives. Asking for closure. Asking for Twilight’s help.
Maybe she could get some closure. Maybe she could actually get rid of just a little bit of this guilt.
Even if Moon Dancer hated her after this. Maybe that would be enough.
“In my first year at GU, I heard so many stories about Sunset Shimmer. About what she had done. At the beginning of the year, I was convinced she hated everypony in Professor Polish’s class.”
Twilight poked at the roll Moon Dancer had left in front of her.
“You even used to tell me stories of what she did the year before… during your first year.”
“Oh…” Moon Dancer mumbled. “I forgot about that.”
Twilight shook her head. “That’s not the point. That’s not your fault. I just… I just… got this image in my head of her as this huge shadow, looming over the school like some… some… demon. Then… during the last week, Professor Inkwell assigns me to a summer course at the South Archives. It sounded perfect. I’d wanted to at least say goodbye to you, but… I got so excited I… I forgot.”
Twilight’s ears flattened against her head, but Moon Dancer just chuckled ever so slightly.
“You always did get way too excited about that sort of thing,” she said wryly. “That was just another thing.”
Twilight didn’t have a response to that, so she barreled along like a train with no brakes. The situation could only end in a explosive crash… but she needed to ride it to the end of the line.
“When I came back the week before classes…” Twilight continued. “I had my mark. I knew who I was. Who I was going to be. I wanted to tell you. But… when I came to see you at your parent’s house… you were out. I asked your mom where you were. She told me you were with ‘that Shimmer filly.’”
Moon Dancer’s face fell, then her ears. Her whole body seemed to deflate before Twilight’s eyes.
“I tried to talk to the others… only to discover that you were all out, with ‘Sunset at her place.’ Lemon Hearts’ parents told me something like ‘they have an all-day O&O game every Saturday. We thought you knew.’ That’s when I realized it. That’s when I knew. You’d moved on. You didn’t need me. You didn’t want me. I didn’t matter. I-I wasn’t important.”
Twilight choked back the sob that threatened to bubble out. She was staring at the roll again without even seeing it.
“I ran back to Jade Singer at the South Archives. She did her best to comfort me. She really didn’t know how… so she read me stories. Read them to me all day until I fell asleep in her hooves, still crying. Apparently, she contacted my parents to let me know I was staying over that night. The next morning, I woke up back in my bedroom in the South Archives with her smiling down at me. Told me I was welcome any time I liked and that no matter what, I’d always have a friend there. So… I knew that’s what I wanted. I found out in a single day that friendship with ponies my age just ended up hurting. But with books and with ponies like Jade Singer… I… I could…”
Twilight trailed off. She couldn’t say the last words. She couldn’t do that to Moon Dancer. Moon Dancer would hate her forever if she actually said them. That was an indisputable fact. One she was absolutely sure about.
“You could trust them?” Moon Dancer said in a strange voice.
It was a voice Twilight couldn’t interpret. Couldn’t understand.
She didn’t want to.
She still nodded.
“Books are safe,” Twilight mumbled. “Books are simple.”
“And ponies aren’t.”
Twilight nodded again.
Silence. The street was silent. The world was silent. It was as if she were floating the vacuum of space. No crickets chirped this time. There was simply nothing.
Just like the hole inside of her that she had just torn open to confess her greatest failing to her first friend.
Her ex-friend.
“I… I’m sorry,” Twilight mumbled as she tossed her napkin aside and pushed back her chair. “I… I never should have come here…”
Where once everypony had stared at the screen, they were all now staring at Sunset. She could feel them staring. She could feel their eyes on her. Their worry. Their concern.
Their pity.
And they should pity you. Even after you supposedly ‘changed’ and accepted this ‘magical friendship thing,’ you still failed. You destroyed a pony just by being you. It doesn’t matter how often they forgive you. It doesn’t matter how many hugs or smiles or laughs you get. You’ll always be guilty, Sunset Shimmer. You’ll always be guilty. That fact will never change. But the feeling? That can change. You can stop that. But there’s only one way. The only way to stop that…
…is not to care.
Sunset stared at the screen. She ignored her friends. She ignored everything else. She ignored the world.
She stared at the screen. Because she deserved it. She deserved to know what she had done.
She deserved to know.
And she did. She’d seen it in Twilight’s head. She’d seen the memories that afternoon. But there was just a tiny part of her that had protected her from those memories. Some part of her that didn’t want her to suffer.
That part had just been torn away by Twilight’s words.
By the truth.
So, Sunset Shimmer stared at the screen.
She stared as Twilight pushed back her chair, tears streaming from her face and ran for the doorway.
Moon Dancer’s horn ignited in the cool night air. It flared with a light so bright, it nearly dazzled Moon Dancer herself. She funneled all of her magic into a simple act. A single spell. It was the most basic of spells. A spell almost any unicorn could do.
And the balcony doors slammed closed and locked before Twilight could reach them.
Twilight pulled at them anyway.
“Please, Moon Dancer…” Twilight begged, not looking at her. “Just… just let me go. I know you hate me. I know I’m a coward and an idiot and that you never want to see me again—”
A layer of overglow erupted around Moon Dancer’s horn as she telekinetically spun Twilight in place, forcing the mare to look at her.
“Please… I know you hate me…” Twilight whimpered, still refusing to meet her eyes. “I know I deserve it but—”
Moon Dancer pushed back her own chair and walked forward. Twilight squeaked and cowered in fear.
Then Moon Dancer grabbed Twilight’s head and forced her to look into her eyes.
Twilight’s eyes were puffy and red. Tears still streamed down her cheeks. Her glasses were slightly askew with spots of salty water all over them. Fear had been replaced by resignation, acceptance and self-loathing.
“I’m sorry,” Moon Dancer whispered. “Twilight, I am so sorry. Please… please can you forgive me?”
Twilight blinked a few times. Complete confusion washed over her face.
“Didn’t… didn’t you…” Twilight’s voice broken and she almost choked. “Didn’t you hear me? I ran! And every time you tried to pull me back, I ran even harder! I’m still running! I’m a coward, Moon Dancer! You should hate me!”
“I don’t hate you,” Moon Dancer whispered. “I could never hate you. You’re still a genius. You’re still amazing. You’re still my first friend. And you’re still the pony I’ve had a crush on for longer than I can remember. There’s nothing you can do or say to change any of that.”
“But…” Twilight mumbled. “I don’t… I don’t deserve…”
“Friendship isn’t about what you deserve.” Moon Dancer didn’t let Twilight’s eyes get away. “It’s about two ponies working together. It’s hard most of the time. But it’s worth it.”
Moon Dancer swallowed as a fresh wave of tears came from Twilight.
“I’m not letting you leave here because of guilt. If you want to leave because you don’t want to be here, I won’t stop you. But I’m not about to let you punish yourself for being scared in the past. We were just fillies, Twilight. Just kids. I can’t change what happened. I can’t undo that day to make it so I was there when you needed me.”
Moon Dancer let go of Twilight and took a step back.
“But I can be here now.”
Once again, silence descended, this time broken only by Twilight’s occasional sniffles. Twilight stared at her own hooves.
“Two months ago… when Sunset brought you to dinner… we both freaked out. I freaked out because I realized that all these feelings hadn’t gone away. You freaked out because—”
“—Because I didn’t want to face the feelings for a pony I didn’t deserve as a friend, let alone something more.” Twilight sniffled and tried to wipe her eyes. It didn’t work very well.
“It’s not about what you deserve,” Moon Dancer said, wiping her own eyes. “It’s about what’s right.”
Finally, Twilight looked up. She didn’t look away this time.
“You’ve done nothing that needs forgiveness.” Moon Dancer shook her head. “I should ask forgiveness for not trying harder. I’ve always had feelings for you Twilight. Please… stay. Have dinner with me. Let me make it up to you. Let me…”
Moon Dancer took a deep breath. She was running on automatic, as if her heart had been plugged directly into her mouth. All the old tricks, the snarky comments, the quips… they seemed meaningless now. Those were not for this place. Not for this time.
She remembered standing before an entire class. Before a Princess. Before students and teachers. And telling the truth.
To date, that had been the most frightening moment of her entire life.
It paled in comparison to this moment.
“Let me see if there’s maybe some glimmer of chance that you might end up feeling something for me.”
Another silence, but this one didn’t last nearly as long.
In fact, this one lasted for only a minute before Twilight reacted.
Moon Dancer knew from those stories she hadn’t read, that in this kind of situation, the other pony usually threw herself at the first pony and attacked them with passionate kiss or something.
Twilight didn’t do that.
Instead, she slowly took the necessary three steps forward to nuzzle Moon Dancer once before burying her head in Moon Dancer’s mane and crying.
Moon Dancer’s tears joined her friend’s.
“I missed you,” Twilight mumbled into her oldest friend’s neck.
“I missed you, too,” Moon Dancer whispered as she clung to Twilight.
Neither moved to wipe away the tears.
Across town, in a tower of ivory and gold, Sunset Shimmer stood up. She stepped over to the window showing her best friend and her newest friend, locked in a crying hug.
Then she turned and bucked one of the crystalline orbs through the window.
It sailed out into the city as glass tinkled down the side of the tower.
The picture vanished and the window was restored, save for a small circular hole. Only the sounds of Twilight and Moon Dancer’s sniffles could be heard. She didn’t do anything about that.
She didn’t meet the eyes of a single one of the ponies in the room as she slowly walked up the stairs to her bedroom. Once inside, she gently closed the door and turned the lock.
Sunset Shimmer settled herself into her bed, pulled up the covers and stared into the darkness.
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Lightning_Striker.exe has stopped working
But...that was tonight’s...Sunny!
This was both cute and painful to read. That ALP probably got a restock of ammo from tonight.
Well. I can certainly see why this is important. Knives in the heart typically are.
And of course Sunset couldn't let herself hear the real message there, only the ways she could blame herself. :(
I hope someone reminds her of that, and that you can't hold yourself responsible for other people's decisions, because she desperately needs it.
But now at least we see what she's been thinking all this time and why she's so guilty. Man, poor Sunset and poor Twilight.
Crystal Wishes, is that you?
[Friendship Castle, end of season 5]
"Huh, so I could have changed what happened... Fancy that."
(I'm not trying to distract you from how I'm bawling my eyes out. Shut up.
)
Huh. Wasn't too sure what to say at first... but that never lasts. Now then... spoilers incoming, and since my ponysona isn't named Ink Blot I'll simply say don't read this comment before the chapter.
They say you don't hear anything good about yourself when you eavesdrop. That particular advice isn't relevant to Sunset, because she doesn't hear anything good about herself ever. And it's not that it isn't said... ah well, moving forward.
The date... well in case we needed adorkable defined (we didn't, unlike Sunset), we have Bookhorse 1 and 2 giving us a walkthrough tutorial. Nice of em. It couldn't last, of course... that much blushing and stammering could only go on so long before the building exploded or Sweetie Belle popped out a quantum singularity to yell at them. Either way, it wasn't happening. That said... the inner monologue, particularly of Twilight, was absolutely wonderful. Bless your soul, Purple Smart...
...But then things took a turn. Unfortunately for me, and through no fault of the writing, this hit close enough to home that I checked out a bit.
...Heh. I mentioned this in Bards, but a similar thing happened to me, a couple years back. Basically, my friends (former...ish... something) moved our gaming night and didn't tell me, so they could invite other people that didn't really get along with me. We had too many players anyway. I've barely seen them since. I have no friends really, not locally at the least. Non-locally... well anyone can tell you that's not the same. Eh. It gave me a lot of insight on this line, too:
Partial credit, Twilight Sparkle. It is simpler in that there's no one there to disappoint or worse betray you. Unfortunately that doesn't make it easier. With no one there... there's no one to catch you as you slide toward whatever precipice calls out to you. With no one there, that's the voice you hear. When you think of yourself as a coward, or worthless, or undeserving... there's no one to correct you. It's not easier at all. Some days, just walking forward is almost impossible when there's no one walking with you. Some stop walking entirely, because they...
That's enough.
And if she was still alone... she wouldn't have been able to share this moment with Moon Dancer, and it was something that both of them needed, no matter where this goes from here. They'll be stronger, better for it; I couldn't be happier for them for that. ...Now if only Sunset wasn't just hearing like an eavesdropper maybe she'd have witnessed things differently. Rara... go give her your honest take on this one, won't you? Here, a couple lines to choose from:
I know, Song Horse, you're thinking that's a bad line. It isn't. That is what Sunset WAS. That is why Twilight wasn't there for O&O, not because reforming Sunset was playing games with her new friends. Old Sunset's shadow was still looming. If Sunny stays in the shadows, she can't fight it.
Deserve is a tricky, often meaningless word. I thank Moony for pointing that out here, albeit indirectly. Even IF you think you deserve to be punished, it's not right. Why? Because it's not just you getting hurt, Sunny.
And there it is, re-stated. Listen, Rara, tell her... it's time she let this go. Not completely; that's impossible. But somepony else needs to decide her fate. She's too close to it to make the right choice, too tied up in that nasty little 'deserve' word. And be sure to bring up the bolded section: because this reconciliation happened because of a pony who, through pain and hard earned self-knowledge, knows the importance of friendship, and mending fences. Her own needs help... and she has that help. So do it. Don't let her interfere... not this time. This is on everyone around her to fix, because she can't. Because alone isn't easier, and it never will be.
I'm going to bed now.
And Moondancer and Twilight find love, while Sunset is even more broken than before.
Bless you, Novel-Idea. Bless you to heaven, you incredibly talented author, you. You really are like Mono.
Too many feels, I think I need to sit down... Oh, wait. I already am.
Whoa mama. Truly emotional chapter (appropriately so). The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all quite well done in all the right places. I particularly liked Sunset needing the term "adorkable" explained to her as well as Twilight and Moondancer's heart-felt chat. Truly beautiful stuff.
And, indeed, I WILL be looking forward to more of this.
Oh...oh man...
...what a feels yank at the end there...
Leave it to Star Swirl to see swallowing his pride as some grand sacrifice instead of, you know, basic social interaction.
As for the chapter as a whole... Yeah, Sunhorse Jr. needs an intervention stat. This is going to have massive ramifications one way or another, but the sooner someone tries to tear her away from her death grip on her guilt, the better.
I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter
Okay this freaking killed me more effectively compared to that time when I got hit by a car infront of the school gate