• Published 9th Feb 2018
  • 3,369 Views, 69 Comments

A Cut Above the Pest - FanOfMostEverything



Zephyr gets thrown out of the nest and into the fire.

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If You Can Make It There. If.

The Shy-Breeze family estate, such as it was, wasn't a place that changed very often. Fluttershy took great comfort in that, knowing that no matter how many reality-warping horrors she befriended, existential threats she thwarted, or ancient magics beyond pony ken she exposed herself to, she could always come home to the gentle, the soft, and the familiar.

"Flutter Butter! So good to see you! Feels like it's been forever!"

And her brother, who qualified as one of those. "I was here yesterday, Zephyr. So were you. It's been a week since you graduated."

"Well, I suppose you wouldn't know, settled in like you are down surfaceways," Zephyr said, draped across one of the kitchen chairs, "but the Cloudsdale real estate market is killer right now."

Fluttershy's flat look could've actually killed several delicate species of insect. "It literally costs fifty bits to get enough clouds for a one-room apartment. You could've even asked Dad for help."

Gentle Breeze—who had been in the kitchen the whole time but hadn't wanted to make a fuss—perked up. "I have been meaning to—"

"And that's just finding a place!" said Zephyr. No one present could tell if he'd deliberately interrupted his father or just hadn't heard him. Including Zephyr. "You wanna talk nightmares, finding a job in Cloudsdale? That's enough to keep a pony up at night for a lot longer than a week." He cracked what he told himself was a winning grin, one normally lucky to crack the top ten in a field of twelve. "Good thing my siesta's comin' up."

"You're Gentle Breeze's son," said Fluttershy, pointing at their waving father. "More than half of the weather factory used to work for Dad. You could literally walk in the doors and they'd beg you to start, no matter where your degree came from." Snarling like a badger (which was roughly between bear and wolverine on the snarl intensity spectrum,) Fluttershy added under her breath, "And if you applied yourself, they might not beg you to leave a week later."

Zephyr leaned in closer, which given his previous position meant that he was almost sitting up straight. "What was that last part?"

"I said, if you applied yourself, they might not beg you to leave a week later."

"Yeah, that's what I thought you said."

Fluttershy blinked. "Wait, you're actually listening to me?"

"Every word! And sure, I could just ride Dad's contrail to some cushy do-nothing desk job. But you know me, Sis!"

"Unfortunately."

Even Zephyr winced at that one. "Dang. Who wizzed in your oats this morning?"

"I left them unattended while talking to the mailpony, so I'm not sure how many creatures were involved. Definitely more than five." Fluttershy shook her head. "But that isn't the point. The point is that I'm not going to let you fall back into your old rut after you've made such amazing strides forward. So I'm going to do what I did when you decided to stay with me."

Zephyr winced. "This doesn't involve Rainbow Dash, does it? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I'm banned from Wonderbolt HQ for another couple months."

"No. I found you another job. It's in Manehattan, but it seems perfect for you."

Zephyr's eyes darted back and forth. In that same field of twelve, his smile was now somewhere around fifteenth. "D-don’t you think this is kind of fast, Flutters?"

"Well, it’s like they say: Use it or lose it. I don’t want your skills to get rusty before you ever put them to use."

"I mean, I could always help Mom perk up her ‘do."

"I have been meaning to…" Posey Shy, who had also been there the whole time, trailed off as Fluttershy shook her head.

Fluttershy took a deep breath, then used a glass of lemonade to clean out the last hints of breakfast. "Zephyr," she said, a hoof on his withers, "I understand. One life lesson isn’t going to completely change who you are. But I’ve talked with Mr. Shears and he’s been very understanding. He says a lot of ponies in your generation have a similar fear of failure."

Zephyr titled his head. "What’s this ‘my generation’ stuff? You’re, like, two years older than me."

Fluttershy just stared at him. No capital, but it was enough.

"Right. And you’re an incredibly successful ecosystem manager-slash-former supermodel-slash-savior of the world. Also, you set up that one wildlife refuge nopony ever talked about again."

"I did once." After a moment of thought, Fluttershy added, "I think."

"Still, Manehattan?" Zephyr threw up his hooves. "I’d get lost inside of a minute! That city would eat your poor little baby brother alive!”

"How do you get to the Cloudosseum from the weather factory?"

"Huh?"

Fluttershy gave the sly sort of smile that only little siblings usually see. "Humor me."

"You go onto Cumulus, take the second right, then the first up onto the cross-town express current, then you take the downward offramp at Exit 17 all the way to Layer Two, and it’s, you know, the giant stadium on your right. Can’t miss it."

"Manehattan is a lot like that, only you don’t have to worry about up or down."

After a few moments' thought, Zephyr nodded. "Oh, right, right, ground city." He looked away. "I… guess I could handle that. Maybe.”

"Just give it a shot. Please?"

"… Fine. For you, big sister."

Fluttershy swept him up in a hug. "Wonderful. Just remember, no pressure."


"There is more pressure here than you can possibly understand. You are not just some cut-rate scissor jockey who could be replaced by an electromantic trimmer. You are a soldier in an active war zone. You’re fightin’ against unprofessionalism, lost street cred, chaos consumin’ the greatest city on Equus!"

Zephyr looked around. A row of chairs along a wall, three designated spots with mirrors for customers to stand, a bunch of pictures of probably famous ponies he'd never heard of. The place didn't exactly scream "battlefield." He raised a wing. "Question."

"What, maggot?"

He turned to Mr. Shears, a heavy-set earth stallion who seemed entirely too amused by all of this. "Why does this nine-year-old filly think she’s a drill sergeant?"

"I am twelve, you overgrown pigeon!" snarled said filly, who turned to show the scissors on her flank.

Mr. Shears nodded. "Babs here is my apprentice."

"Your apprentice?"

"You ever hear about the time the Statue o’ Harmony got off its podium and trotted to the Museum o’ Natural History? That was Babs and her friends jus’ playin’ around."

Zephyr turned to Babs. “What.”

She flushed, tail flipping up to cover one flank. "That was mostly Mold Spore’s idea."

"'Mold Spore'?"

"He’s a fun guy."

Zephyr winced, then looked back at Mr. Shears. "Mr. Shears, I am feeling both mentally and emotionally abused right now. I don’t know if—"

"Can it, kid. I told you, she’s my apprentice. If I gotta choose between you and Babs, I know who I’m pickin’, and it ain’t the new hire. But Babs’s cousin put in a good word for you, and I’m willin’ to at least give you a try. So drop the attitude—and that goes for you too, Babs—"

"But—!" cried Babs, eyes wide with shock.

"Don’t wanna hear it," Mr. Shears all but growled. "Both of you get ready to trim tomorrow. Got it?"

"Got it," Zephyr and Babs chorused. They then each shot a glare at the other. A few moments into the battle of wills, Babs rolled her eyes, puffed a breath over her bangs, and walked out of the barber shop.

Zephyr watched her go for a few seconds before turning to Mr. Shears. "Wait, did I just win that?"

Mr. Shears shook his head. "Babs may be my apprentice, but she's still twelve. She only comes in on weekends an' when she can after school. Sometimes tries to when she really can't. Gotta make her bring her homework to show me she can. Kid ain't just good, she's driven.

"An' remember, when she is workin', she's your boss. She has seniority, regardless of age. You're the Mets to her Cellies, the low buffalo on the totem pole, the—"

"Okay, okay, I get it! You can stop with the metaphors."

"Point is," said Mr. Shears, "you’re what we in the business call a pity hire. I took you on as a favor to Babs’s family, and if you make me regret that, you’re out on your tail." He gave Zephyr a flat look that couldn't quite measure up to Fluttershy's, but could probably still disinfect a pair of scissors. "Her cousin told me about your work ethic."

Zephyr drew himself up with as much indignation as he could muster. "I have made great improvements."

Mr. Shears nodded. "You have. She told me that. She also told me what you improved from. So don’t go thinkin’ you can coast along. You got me?"

Zephyr sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I got you. What if the brat keeps badgering me?"

"Babs shouldn’t. If she does, ignore her. Filly’s had some rough times of her own; this is probably just insecurity."

"If you say so."

"I do."


"Yo! Bronchitis with wings! Sweep up, will ya? I'm up to my dock in mane hair here!"

Zephyr shuddered as he brought the broom out to the shop floor. "Could we please move the conversation away from the twelve-year-old's dock?"

"Aww, am I makin' you uncomfortable?" Babs snorted as she continued the trim job, using a pair of bar stools and the customer's neck to get at the right angles. "Maybe if you swept up more often, we wouldn't be talkin' about it at all."

Zephyr sighed and muttered, "I go to one of the premiere mane therapy adult education seminars in Cloudsdale and this is where I end up."

"Yeah, I'm sure your diploma's real nice, college colt. Bet ya got to featherpaint it yourself an' everything."

Zephyr thrust the broom at Babs. "That diploma is one of the crowning achievements of my life!"

She nodded. "And that is sad. Next."

As the next customer got into position and the other waiting ponies offered each other popcorn, Zephyr said, "Girl, what is your problem? If I wanted some mare insulting me with every step, I'd go find Rainbow Dash. At least she's hot when she does it."

"I make half my tips on bein' cute," said Babs. She then blew her bangs out of her eyes, which even Zephyr had to admit was heart-melting. "If I told you what I really thought about you, that'd dry up real quick. Though with this crowd, I might end up gettin' more out of it, eh?" The customers answered her with cheers and cackles of varying degrees of coarseness.

"Well, you know what I think of you?"

Babs turned back to her current customer. "No. Don't care either."

"Too bad. You, Babs Seed, are..." Zephyr trailed off and sniffed at the air.

After a few seconds, Babs perked an ear and looked up. "Well? Lay it on me. What am I?"

"Do you smell smoke?"

"The heck do you mean, 'do I smell—'?"

A line of fire burst into existence between them, a smoky, ruddy blaze the color of an old scab. It bulged out towards both of them, Babs and Zephyr both backing away from it with wide eyes. The current customer—who, Zephyr noted, still had one patch of mane about three inches longer than the rest—bolted out the door, still wearing the smock.

"We're gonna have to charge that guy for that," he said idly.

Once he ran out, the waiting customers followed suit, bolting out of the store even as the floating fire extended.

"There goes the lunch rush," mumbled Babs.

Both ponies moved to the chair-lined wall of the barber shop. From that angle, the fire took a form not unlike a giant eye of flame with a silhouetted pupil. The pupil resolved itself as something moving through the flames, and when it emerged, it proved itself impossible.

The first thing Zephyr noticed was that it was an alicorn, or at least shaped like one; the crimson coat, flaming mane and tail, draconic wings, and blackened eyes suggested some forgotten daughter of Celestia in the middle of her moody teenage phase. Then he noticed the crown, which a few moments' study showed was actually melted onto the being's scalp, drooping and uneven, though the inset crescent-moon gem still shone.

After all that, Zephyr registered one other thing: Babs clinging to his foreleg, trembling like a leaf, and muttering, "This ain't happenin'. This ain't happenin'. This ain't happenin'."

"Hey, you okay?"

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and her pupils contracted to pinpricks. "Okay? Okay? This is Manehattan, not Ponyville! This kinda crap doesn't happen here!"

The alicorn cleared her throat with a sound like a lightning generator. "Uh, I—"

Babs fled behind Zephyr entirely. Then she started pushing him forward. "Kill him first! I have somethin' to live for!"

Zephyr took a deep breath and turned to the newcomer. "Look, you got a horn, can you calm her down or something?"

The alicorn blinked. "Yes, actually." Her magic, the color of the last light of a dying star, radiated from her horn and shifted into a greenish mist that settled behind Zephyr.

Once he felt the pushing against his hind legs relax, he looked back. Babs was just staring forward vacantly. "Okay. Babs. Babs. Can you hear me?"

After a moment, she nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I hear ya."

"Great. Now, I know it’s kind of freaky, but the alicorn probably just wants a manecut." Zephyr looked over his withers. "You do want a manecut, right, ma’am?"

She looked at the tail of flame half as long as she was, then ran a hoof over her tangled coat. After a few tugs to free it, she said, "More than you can know."

"Right, full package. Mane, tail, coat, hooves."

"You can do hooficures?" Even with a voice like gargling pitch, the question still came out bright and hopeful as a starving mare staring at a banquet.

Zephyr shook his head. "We ain’t no spa, ma’am, but we can at least file ‘em for you."

"Better than nothing."

Zephyr walked to the supplies on the mirror shelf. "Okay, just… hold on…" He tried the other two stations. "Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me." He made for the door. "Babs, you start on her coat, I gotta go take care of something."

"Oka— Wait, what!?" Babs snarled and followed him, barely spotting a green speck going higher into the sky. "Get back here, you flyin’ chicken!"

"He’s not coming back, is he?"

Babs gritted her teeth as she turned on a trimmer and started working at the alicorn's coat. "You know, I’m really not sure. Even odds."

"Are you sure? I could smell the fear wafting off of him."

Babs barked out a laugh. "Lady, I could smell the fear comin’ off him. That’s how he’s smelled ever since the cheap aftershave he wore on his first day wore off."

"Hmm. Let me get those saddlebags."

"Thanks." Babs hadn't even noticed them before they came off, the alicorn setting them down with astonishing care. "So, uh, what's your story?"

The alicorn shrugged her unfeathered wings. "Oh, you know how it is. Leave home in a huff because I think Celestia's holding me back, return triumphant with newfound power, do something stupid that ends up killing the world over a few years, leave with the last few vestiges of life and magic in the world, end up in a Manehattan barber shop, apparently. You?"

"Uh..." uhhed Babs, in near-harmony with the trimmer's hum.

The alicorn gave her as sympathetic a look as could be managed with those eyes. "Need another shot of the anti-anxiety spell?"

"You'll know when. I'll probably start screamin' again. Don't suppose you can turn off the..."

"You just gestured at all of me."

"Tryin' to find some part of you that ain't terrifyin'."

"Okay!" Both mares turned to see Zephyr trot back in through the entrance. "Took a few tries, but I'm ready for the mane and tail." In one wing, he held a pair of scissors, now with golden, glowing runes carved into the outsides of the blades.

The alicorn's eyebrows shot up. "You know how to make æther shears?"

"Last day of mane therapy training. Supposed to have some health benefits when you use them with normal manes, but they can also cut alicorn manes. Something about lightning in the metal? All I know is they work." Zephyr hummed to himself, bent down, and snipped the tip off the alicorn's fiery tail. The freed tip reduced itself to ash a moment later. Zephyr beamed. "See?"

The alicorn nodded. "Not bad."

Zephyr moved to her mane. "Babs, you wanna get her hooves started?"

Babs blinked. Sure enough, she'd made it to the rear legs without even noticing. "How the heck are you so calm in alla this?"

Zephyr shrugged his wings. "My dad was basically in charge of clouds for half of Equestria until a few years ago. My mom's the Mulia Mild of sky gardening; you know, bringin' it to the masses and all? My sister is two degrees of separation from Celestia herself."

"Not as fun as it sounds," said the alicorn.

"My point is, I'm used to being the least important pony in the room by a big margin. Plus, it's not like she started firing death lasers the moment she walked in the room."

"Not the best way to make a first impression in my experience."

"Okay, how's this look to start?"

The alicorn moved from side to side, taking in the neck-length curls that danced about her head. "It's... wow. Wow. It's exactly what I wanted. How did you know?"

Zephyr offered a grin that might just medal. "Just went with what felt right, you know?"

"Can't argue with the results. Thanks. You done back there?"

"Gimme another few..." Babs put down the file and nodded. "Yeah."

"Thanks. Both of you." The alicorn lit her horn and ignited another portal of flame, walking through without a care.

Zephyr smirked down at Babs. "So, you gonna maybe treat me with a bit more respect?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"You let her leave without payin', featherbrain."

Author's Note:

So, what did we learn?

• Mane therapy actually teaches something useful.
• Even the most useless-looking or most monstrous-looking ponies can be nice people if you give them a chance.
• Never let awe get in the way of collecting a bill.
• FoME will never pass up an opportunity to get an overpowered instance of Sunset Shimmer involved.
• All of the above.

Comments ( 69 )
R5h
R5h #1 · Feb 9th, 2018 · · ·

The description should probably not say "Zephyre". Other than that, it's pretty good!

:rainbowhuh::rainbowlaugh: Okay, that was pretty good. Especially when I read it in the characters' voices. Zephyr, I still can't decide if I love or hate you, but you just earned a few more points in my book.

So... Shall we talk about the flaming alicorn in the room?

A competent Zephyr Breeze? Needs the Alternate Universe tag.

Is this a reference to a particular Sunset Shimmer from another story series? This is great, but I feel like I'm missing out on something. Something that I may have put in a RL shelf and haven't gotten to yet.

Okay, I seriously feel as if I'm missing out on something here...

Okay, but how on earth has nobody thought to bring these two together in a story before?! Shame on all of us forever.

Cool! And full of humor! Congrats!

Well, if this is even semi-canon to the story that Sunset came from, it's nice to see that she's personable!

A sequel with the Manehattan CMC and Zephyr Breeze would likely be interesting... Maybe when the other (two?) need haircuts? *shrugs*

Really wondering what the Statue of Harmony looks like... I'd guess a torch-holding markless Alicorn... *shrugs*

----

Typo:

So, you gonna maybe treat with a bit more respect?

treat (me?) with a bit more respect?

Babs Seed is going to grow up into the hairdresser equivalent of Gordon Ramsay, isn't she? :flutterrage:

"You just gestured at all of me."

Oh hi, Hiccup!

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... Can we get enough artists on that that it becomes a meme?

Who'd've thunk that mane therapy classes had a lesson on using magical alicorn-grade scissors?

And now I imagine the Babs and Zephyr adventures with the colorful residents of Manehattan...

You just made me kinda respect Zephyr Breeze close to the end.

And I have no idea how I should feel about that.

Of all the jokes in this, this one:

Even Zephyr winced at that one. "Dang. Who wizzed in your oats this morning?"

"I left them unattended while talking to the mailpony, so I'm not sure how many creatures were involved. Definitely more than five."

was the most unexpected.

"I make half my tips on bein' cute," said Babs. She then blew her bangs out of her eyes, which even Zephyr had to admit was heart-melting. "If I told you what I really thought about you, that'd dry up real quick."

I dunno. Considering that Manehattan is, well, Manehattan, and the fact that Chicago used to have a restaurant where people were paid to insult you, I feel like at least a few ponies would tip a sassy baby manestylist more. Especially since her accent would make that adorable.

I've wanted a fic based on this art for a while, and you went above and beyond that. Great work!

Huh. For some reason, I thought that was Luna.

Was a fun story! Hope it does well in the judging.

This was an absolute delight to read. The humor was spot-on.

The only real issue I had was that the actual mane-cut section seemed a bit... quick? In-universe, I mean. It seemed that Babs and Zephyr gave the alicorn a full-body, high-level makeover in the time it took to exchange maybe a few minutes' worth of conversation.

• FoME will never pass up an opportunity to get an overpowered instance of Sunset Shimmer involved.

That was Sunset? Huh. I really wouldn't have guessed.

CCC

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Really wondering what the Statue of Harmony looks like...

vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/e4/Manehattan_S6E3.png/revision/latest?cb=20160403170213

There you go.

That was hilarious! Loved the humor, timing, and delivery.

Fluttershy...cover up your oats.

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Dude I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe after I read that part:rainbowlaugh:
(ironicly enough that happened to me once by my mom's cats went I was young:pinkiesick:)

I thought that was some version of Sunset, but I didn't want to assume...

Fun story. Snarky Fluttershy is always a treat.

when it emrged, it

emerged

Snarky Fluttershy, badass Babs, actually competent Zephyr, and the alicorn Sunset from the Ashlands bad future? Awesome!

"Right. And you’re an incredibly successful ecosystem manager-slash-former supermodel-slash-savior of the world. Also, you set up that one wildlife refuge nopony ever talked about again."

"I did once." After a moment of thought, Fluttershy added, "I think."

If nobody else wants to pick the low hanging fruit, let me supply the stock punchline.

"'Mold Spore'?"

"He’s a fun guy."

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The intent was for the Sunset Satan outta nowhere to work as a standalone device to introduce the climax, but to also serve as a bonus for those who've read some of my other stories. (Specifically Then Goes the Neighborhood and its prequels.) tl;dr: Remember that last timeline Twilight and Starlight went to before we got Glimglam's "tragic" backstory? The one where nothing lived? My hypothesis is that Sunset caused that one, mostly because it turns out breaking the mirror between worlds turns the slow leak of magic into a burst dam, gushing out of Equestria faster than it can replenish. Sunset's out looking for anything that might save that world, or at least equine contact.

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He is capable of achieving things. He just needs the courage to actually try. As with his sister, one musical number won't completely change his personality.

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I know, right? Especially since the cover image has been around since June of 2016.

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It's definitely canon. The Wandering Sun moves through probability space, not sure what she's looking for but certain that she'll find it.

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Barber Shop Nightmares? There's a thought.

And it amused me to borrow that joke for the exact opposite of its usual effect.

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Knowing your Manehattan, those are quite colorful residents indeed.

And yeah, when it comes to cutting the sheets of plasma that are an alicorn's mane and tail, you're going to want the tribe that manufactures lightning and rainbows to handle that job.

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Possibly, though Mr. Shears would strongly disapprove if she did while he was in the shop.

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Watsonian explanation: Never underestimate the efficiency of an earth pony performing her special talent.
Doylist explanation: That entire scene was crafted a few hours before the deadline, so the pacing might be a touch off. :twilightsheepish:

Can we please just have something like this as an episode? We haven't seen babs in a while, and more than a season without follow up on Zephyr is too much.

...........ummm.....what just happened?

It’s not everyday I get to read a fic about actually competent Zephyr Breeze in freakin’ Manehatten. Only reason I’m able to find fics set there is mainly because of Quillamore.

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In order:

• The events of "Flutter Brutter" transpire, including the Flutterparents letting Zephyr breeze stay at their place "for a few days."
• "For a few days" becomes "for a week." In the meantime, Fluttershy talks to Applejack, who gets in touch with Babs Seed's employer in Manehattan, who agrees to give Zephyr a shot.
• Fluttershy coaxes Zephyr out of their parents' home with all the grace and delicacy she shows when making bears take their medicine.
• Babs does not play well with others.
• Alternate-universe Sunset Satan burns through the barrier between worlds. This does not compare with the terror Zephyr lives with every day as the most useless member of his family, so he stallions up and does his freaking job.

Any questions?

A variant of Freeport Venture Sunset Shimmer?

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Hmmm, no, no I think it's best not to ask anymore questions.

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Okay, that makes sense, except for one thing. Sunset Satan was wearing Twilight's crown, right? But the Element of Magic is a starburst shape, not a crescent moon. Or does the Element take different forms in alternate realities?

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Not quite. Alternate timeline Element of Magic-infused she-demon rather than alternate timeline burning cyborg lich.

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Yes, but not solely because it was an alternate timeline. In the world that led to this Sunset, Twilight never became the Bearer of Magic. Moondancer did, and thus the Element took the form of her cutie mark. And at the Battle of Canterlot High, she failed where Twilight succeeded. (No offense meant towards Moony. The heroes always failed in Starlight's splinter timelines at some point or another. They had to, or Twilight wouldn't have found worlds where the villains were winning.)

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Alternate timeline Element of Magic-infused she-demon rather than alternate timeline burning cyborg lich.

I want you to think about how awesome what you just wrote is!

Putting these two characters together as coworkers lends itself to a certain kind of conflict. But I guess you thought it was better to throw in a transdimensional fire god halfway through rather than play out that conflict in any sort of interesting way.

So, what did we learn?

When in danger, Babs will use a co-worker as a shield. :twilightsmile:

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If I'm being honest, it's more like I lacked the time and space necessary to adequately explore the character dynamics and still get this submitted within the contest deadline. The word limit might also be a concern, depending on how I'd approach it. I actually had to scrap an outline that focused more on the conflicting emotional and physical maturity of the two leads because this is an entry for a comedy contest, and while that sort of in-depth exploration might make for good reading, it wouldn't be especially humorous.

Basically, blame Aragon. :derpytongue2:

In all seriousness, now that I've opened the floodgates, someone may explore these two interacting on a more serious basis, sans interdimensional demon queens of dust. That someone may even be me.

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"mainly because of Quillamore"

I'm actually recognized for something in this huge pool we call a fandom. Yay!

Both ponies moved to the chair-lined wall of the barber shop. From that angle, the fire took a form not unlike a giant eye of flame with a silhouetted pupil.

*ears pique*

"You'll know when. I'll probably start screamin' again. Don't suppose you can turn off the..."

"You just gestured at all of me."

Wasn't this exchange also in a recent SLS chapter? Toward Midnight, instead of Sunny?

I smiled a whole bunch while reading this. This isn't a character dynamic I'd ever have imagined working out, yet it feels so natural that I have to wonder why I never pictured it before.

The narrative is a bit hard to follow, though, starting with Sunset Shimmer's sudden appearance. I didn't even make the connection until I hit the author's note. Figure there's some context I'm missing, which made the scene itself... problematic, let's say.

But I'd still consider this a strong entry in the contest.

"And if you applied yourself, they might not beg you to leave a week later."

Zephyr leaned in closer, which given his previous position meant that he was almost sitting up straight. "What was that last part?"

"I said, if you applied yourself, they might not beg you to leave a week later."

Whoa, Fluttershy doubling down! What's next, Zephyr being competent at his job?

Also, you set up that one wildlife refuge nopony ever talked about again."

"I did once." After a moment of thought, Fluttershy added, "I think."

Bwahahaha!

Fluttershy gave the sly sort of smile that only little siblings usually see.

Speaking from experience? (I'm the oldest of four, so I wouldn't know.)

Also, some of Babs' dialog seems slightly tribalist. I'm not sure what to make of it.

I had thought for sure that the alicorn was Daybreaker who had become a separate entity until I read the AN. I guess it was She-demon Sunset if she had conquered the EG world. A bit confusing near the end, but enjoyable nonetheless.

"'Mold Spore'?"

"He’s a fun guy."

Slap yourself.

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Still confused but eh don’t really read sunset shimmer fics

This was awesome. I'd love to see more interaction between Babs and Zephyr someday.
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Considering he actually earned his diploma at the end of his only episode, the many stories that like to portray him as though he hadn't learned any lessons are probably the ones that need an AU.

My point is, I'm used to being the least important pony in the room by abigmargin.

Laughed pretry hard at this. It's basically my attitude towards major plot events at the larp I attend since I'm a recent addition to the game. In the event of important person showing up, just stay calm and do whatever the hell they want. Or run. Or say you're going to do what they want, then run.

I actually thought the alicorn was some type of bad OC wandering through the universe...

You know, as someone who spends so much of his time writing stories with Sunset Shimmer as the protagonist, I would have thought I’d realized that alicorn was her before the author’s notes. Oh well. Interesting that she’s also the one that’s capable of (apparent) inter-timestream travel here.

Also shame on you for making me have to look up what a “dock” is.

The alicorn that read like a bad OC was evil Sunset? Knowing this makes the story 10x better! Enough to get a like and a fave! I was so scared when she appeared, thinking "Oh no, a bad OC!" but thankfully it was just evil Sunset. :pinkiecrazy:

Apparently I didn't notice this at all when it was posted. Oops. But that was fun. Best of luck in the contest!

I knew I would like this story...but I didn't expect to love it. You did a great job here and it would be fun to see a sequel or two! <3

You ever hear about the time the Statue o’ Harmony got off its podium and trotted to the Museum o’ Natural History

that's has to be the first ghostbuster's 2 reference i have ever seen

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