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Pinkie loves Rainbow. Pinkie tries to kill Rainbow. Pinkie finds she's not the only one who's crazy.

Psychopaths don't like to share the fact they're psychopaths—besides with the victims locked up in their basement. Pinkie is one of those psychopaths, only she has a victim instead of victims, the one and only Rainbow Dash. Every attempt on her life has been avoided and unnoticed.

Pinkie doesn't mind this game of cat and mouse, and if she didn't know better, she might suspect the same being true for Rainbow. With every attempt, Pinkie gains clarity on her feelings for the pegasus, before finding out the truth.

Apparently, Pinkie isn't the only one who's crazy.

Inspired by this video.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 68 )

Wow...I can actually see this a being canon almost.

Death God. Good stuff.

You bastard

Drawing connections between a Netflix ad I've been seeing lately and the story, judging from the description alone. Diving in to see what awaits me.

This was interesting to say the least xD I love a happy ending though :)

This is so romantic. Now I want to see the reactions of their children.

Wait. This is how the Addams family got started.

Loved it, gave it its 11th like, but not quite a comedy. Replace it with dark.

OK, this got a like but... well... yeah, it needs a dark tag. An actual death is just around the corner when either Raibow or Pinkie slips up. That's dark as fuck.

Kudos on making Pinkie never have killed a pony before, though. That was a nice detail, if I understood it correctly.

This is more perverted that a dragon and griffin sexual tension on daily basis.

F-off Vengeful.


I remember the potential this had when talking about it with you over Discord.

Let’s see if you delivered.

I'm so tired...
yet another story has arrived in this world.
*clicks on the read later button*
You... shall be... read...

...Um, happy end? maybe?

Reminds me of that edgypasta feel. Like when you read Death Note, Deadman Wonderland, and the like.

Found it:

is it weird that I found this sweet even with the attempts on dash's life?
good story

I watch her for a while, our eye contact never breaking. I study her face, the rise and fall of her chest, even a few glances at her flanks, and yet, her body gives nothing away. She's telling the truth—her love for me wasn't a lie.

Pinkie Pie: Flank Whisperer. Knows if you're telling the truth from staring at your ass.

Oh, that's cute.

Holy shit that gives me an idea for another fic BRB BRUV


So who will be Morticia and who will be Gomez?


I always like how the end of that music video has Pinkie clutching a Dash plushie to herself.

This is gonna be awesome.

The children they kidnap or have.

Oh wait, no need. The CMC already exist.


It’s very good.

deceleration of a point won

Wow, this is amazingly executed (Pun intended)

Incredibly sweet. I feel that in the future they'll have a "How I Met Your Mother" story with adopted children, with Pinkie detailing every attempt on Dash's life leading up to Rainbow being in Pinkie's basement, also explaining why she's still trying to kill her.

Sounds about right.

This was almost too sweet, somehow. Kudos for the psychopathic fluff!

I dunno why, but this is is adorable. The 2 most adorable psychopaths I've ever seen. You wrote this really well, though I don't think it could be written any other way in between "good" and "bad". There's no middle score here, it's either a 9+/10 or 3-/10. I dunno, I'm really bad at putting my thoughts into words. I know I didn't get my point across. But yeah. It was good.

This song in my playlist came up near the end. Wow it works so well. Or maybe not. Gonna be honest, I was paying way more attention to the story. I may have gotten some of the words mixed up between them. This is why I don't listen to music and read.


our little 'date.'

(It's because it's not part of dialogue, otherwise it'd be inside)

could have seen my dash

me (???)

is a terrificplace to kill

with this excitementthat

space between "terrific" and "place" & "excitement" and "that"
(I know there's a glitch with the "Rich Text Paste" going on, but that's not it)

I've love Dashie

I love Dashie

to be my best friend, best friend even after

best friend, even after

cleaning your room, things all that need

all things (???)

One of these days, I'm going to kidnap you.

And by kidnap you, get on my knees and beg you to edit my shit.

Yo, send me a PM and I'd 100% do it for ya.

Ever tell you how much I love you?

You might wanna credit the original video for the title pic, just as a polite thing :P You're drawing in fans of the music video sans credit.

My bad! The song is linked in the chapter title, and I'll source the link.

"And THAT kiddies is how your mom and I met! Any questions?"

Hah! That was awesome.

Fair enough.” Rainbow glances over at me. “So this makes for attempt twenty-four since we've begun dating?”

I smile even more, noticing the bright light by the window.

“Make that twenty-five.”

Am i the only one confused by this? From what I remeber her room is on the second level and the bed is on the wall in the middle. Whats making the flash?


No clue, but Pinkie put it there, it's lethal, and it's aimed at Rainbow.

(She's doing two attempts at once, the anvil as the obvious one that's meant to be noticed and avoided, plus whatever the flash is as the surprise.)

Cute in a very twisted way, but I agree with

This needs a dark tag quite badly

Why does this relationship remind of River Song and The Doctor?

It's been a long time since I read a RainbowPie story that held my attention this thoroughly, especially a Cupcakes spin-off. Hysterical and twisted, and maybe a tad sentimental. Also, you might've done your homework on psychopaths, as I've known a couple IRL, and the way Pinkie is written for here is both superficially charming and really creepy in a way that takes me back to that time. No all psychopaths are murderous, but faking emotions and understanding other's natural reactions to the point of being able to exploit them are pretty common traits, among many others.

Totally liked/fav'd :eeyup:

Psychopaths don't like to share the fact they're psychopaths

Oh, that's not true at all. They love it. It's just that, most of the time, they can't actually tell there's even anything wrong with them at all. A well-socialized psychopath, who understands the concept of co[nsequences and long-term planning even if they don't really care, who is what is commonly called a sociopath... Well...

How do you know what's really going on in other people's heads? Do you really know at all, for a fact? No? Neither can they. We just assume that the human condition is shared between all of us, most of the time. We have to, really. There are a great many things we factually can't ever know about other people, including whether they really are people with actual feelings instead of sophisticated dolls pretending to have feelings. A basic part of human nature is an intrinsic mirroring of how we imagine others around us to feel. Would you care about hurting people's feelings if you could not feel bad about it? Would you treat physical pain as important if "suffering" as a mental state did not really occur to you as existing in others?

Really, would you?

That's the world psychopaths live in. Imagine a life without doubts, worries, or fears, at least how it relates to other peoples' subjective experience of themselves, rather than how the results affect you. Imagine never feeling bad about seeing people in pain, even if you understand intellectually why it's a bad thing and you should want them to not be in pain?

On the one hand, it's a very convenient way to live, so long as you're not aware of it. On the other hand, it's also a very alienating one that will leave most people like this lonely despite themselves if they're self-aware enough to notice, because the very faculty that people us to feel closer to each other, to genuinely matter to each other - empathy - is simply lacking in them. Even if they're cared about, they can't really care back, not the same way.

There's a reason we call people like that "broken." It's simple and satisfying to our egos to think of them as simply hateful, evil and violent caricatures of people... but in a lot of ways, they're what each and every person could be if their brains didn't literally force them to experience the feelings of the people around them as they imagine them to be.

So, do psychopaths like to share the fact that they're psychopaths? Well, yes. So long as it's done in a context that makes them feel empowered and advantaged, because shame and guilt just don't quite apply the same way unless they're connected to consequences - which, most of the time, real life is but the internet isn't.

There is also a lot of statistical work that suggests as much as 5% of the population are actually psychopaths. No wonder we're all dicks here, eh?

Here I thought I was a nice guy.


Personally, I think it's kind of funny how much people on the internet resemble the average psychopath, because "not caring about the consequences of your behaviour because you can't relate to people without seeing their reactions" and "not caring about the consequences of your behaviour because you can't relate to people even when seeing their reactions" are really damn close to each other.

These days, the average MMO player is pretty much a serial killler in behaviour, except for not having the same detachment to faceless, anonymous people in real life as they do to faceless, anonymous people in some random online game. It takes just the slightest bit of mental acrobatics to imagine just about anyone in their shoes, so long as "not feeling bad about the consequences" is assured. It makes it hard to feel judgmental about things.

Can't say I know much about the subject to have a valid word on it. Everyone has a need for dominance, perhaps rage even that needs to be expressed. When it's online, it's detached because there's bearing on reality. Take a Call of Duty player, ship 'em off the war, and they will be horrified by the battlefield.

Online people are made into psychopaths because comprehension is stripped from them. The details truly do matter, as do their absence. Since there is no safety net online, no repression and the lack of identity for the person on the other screen, we must come in forewarned that we are dealing with people and the consequences do exist—even if they feel distant.

But yeah. Pinkie trying to kill Rainbow being up for evading that shit is totally kinky in my head.

I totally didn't actually read this, just to make that clear. I'm just giving a realistic and psychologically accurate description of what life feels like for the average psychopath because this has a catchy title and I want to see how people will react to getting a sober (and uncomfortably close-to-home) description of the dramatized movie villain cliché they were really expecting.

The other real reason the average psychopath actually loves to talk about themselves, in my experience? It's fucking funny to disturb people if you think it won't make any difference to you, especially if you think they have legitimate reason to be disturbed about the subject.

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