Double the Bacon, Double the Fun.
With the expression of one who had just witnessed their neighbor masturbating their dog beneath their bedroom window, Sunset Shimmer joined her friends at their usual table at Sugarcube Corner. Conversation instantly ceased as her friends observed her thousand-yard stare.
“Sunset, Darling, whatever is the matter?” Rarity questioned after several moments of awkward silence. Sunset continued to stare into nothingness with dead eyes.
“I bet it’s the berry incident all over again,” Rainbow Dash commented while leaning back in her chair with her usual smug expression on her face. Slowly Sunset’s head turned in Rainbow’s direction until her dead teal orbs were boring into her cerise eyes.
“Generally, when someone says, we shall never speak of this again, that doesn’t mean you bring it up every chance you get,” Sunset grumbled finally breaking her silence.
“Look all I’m saying is that you should know the difference between types of berries. I mean they have the same exact kind of fruit in magic pony land don’t they?” Rainbow shot back. Sunset merely continued to glare at her prismatic friend.
“Least I managed to snap you out of your funk,” Rainbow added with another smirk. “What was up with that anyway?”
Sunset let out a heavy sigh before replying. “I think I might be the most narcissistic person in the world.”
“Why would you think that?” asked Twilight.
“Yeah, yer the least full of yourself outta anyone ah know,” Applejack chimed in. “Now RD on the other hand.”
“What she said,” Rainbow added. “Also, fuck you AJ.”
The rest of the girls snickered as the two devolved into their usual bickering.
“But, in all seriousness Darling, why would you ever think something like that about yourself?”
“Well, I didn’t mean it in the sense that I’m full of myself. I meant it more in the terms of that legend from ancient Fleece,” Sunset responded all the while watching as Rainbow Dash and Applejack entered into some bizarre eating contest involving a truly massive ice cream sundae topped with literally everything, but the kitchen sink that was being overseen by Pinkie Pie. How they had gotten to that point in such a short amount of time no one was quite sure.
“Oh, you mean the legend of Narcissus where he fell in love with his own reflection?” Fluttershy questioned only to cringe back when everyone gave her odd looks.
“What? I read,” she pouted.
“So... what, do you like, make out with your mirror or something?” Rainbow mumbled through a mouth full of ice cream.
“Ooh, ooh I know! I bet she takes it to the movies with her and cuddles with it at night and- “Applejack shoved a spoon full of sundae into Pinkie’s mouth thankfully cutting off the girl’s tirade.
“No, I don’t make out with my mirror or take it on dates,” Sunset said with a glare before letting out another sigh. “Okay, so you guys know how I’ve been spending a lot of time on Daring Daily’s Eris server right?”
Her friends nodded.
“Alright so for the last month or so I’ve been private messaging a User that goes by the name Grossly Incandescent.”
“Oh, I know her, she’s the one who does all those funny little Caballeron’s Helper comics right?” Pinkie interrupted.
“Yes Pinkie, she’s the one who does those comics- “
“She also draws hentai,” Rainbow added. Sunset growled in annoyance.
“Can I finish?!”
“Only if you’re paying her,” Rainbow snickered only for Applejack to slug her in the shoulder.
“Just ignore them,” Rarity stated with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, you were saying?”
“As I was saying, we’ve been messaging each other a lot and well I’ve kinda developed this huge crush on them. I mean we just sorta click you know? Don’t get me wrong I love all you girls, but there’s something about them that just yeah-“ Sunset trailed off at the end with a dreamy expression on her face.
“While I am happy for you that you have found romance, I fail to see how this explains what you meant about you being a narcissist,” Rarity commented.
“Yeah…here’s where it gets kinda awkward,” Sunset answered while poking her index fingers together with an embarrassed blush. “So, as it turns out Grossly Incandescent is me.”
All eyes were instantly upon her making her shrink down in her seat. She suddenly gained an understanding of how Fluttershy felt.
“Just to be clear, this person that you have a crush on is your counterpart from this world?” Twilight inquired. Sunset nodded and shrank further down in her seat. Rainbow, as expected, burst out into laughter.
“Oh my gosh that’s just fucking hilarious!” Rainbow managed to force out between bouts of laughter.
“Rainbow Dash! Honestly!” Rarity admonished.
“What!?” She gestured to all of them, “You can’t tell me that this isn’t funny? I mean come on Sunset just admitted she’s got a lady boner for herself! That’s comedy gold right there!”
Applejack punched her in the shoulder again and knocked the prismatic haired girl out of her seat. By this point, Sunset had nearly disappeared underneath the table. Only her ketchup and mustard colored hair could be seen.
“Girl’s please, don’t you see you’re upsetting her!” Fluttershy whisper-shouted gesturing to Sunset’s barely visible head. Rainbow climbed back into her seat and opened her mouth to yell at Applejack only for Fluttershy to fix her with a glare. She instantly closed her mouth and had the decency to look ashamed.
“Now apologize!”
“But- “
“Apologize to her now!”
“Alright, alright sheesh,” Rainbow grumbled. “I’m sorry for laughing at you Sunset.”
“It’s fine,” Sunset mumbled from beneath the table. “I guess it is kinda funny. To an outside observer anyway. If Twilight suddenly developed a crush on Princess I’d probably laugh too.”
“Hey!” Twilight protested. “I happen to be straight! And, you know, not attracted to people who are usually horses.”
“Ponies,” both Sunset and Fluttershy corrected at the same time.
“So, if Princess was a Prince instead you’d wanna hook up?” Pinkie asked appearing beside Twilight bearing a tray loaded with milkshakes.
“Still used to be a pony so no,” Twilight deadpanned. She still accepted the milkshake offered to her though.
“Ahem,” Rarity cleared her throat. “As fascinating as this discussion of Twilight’s sexual preference is, can we please get back to the topic at hand?”
“Um, how exactly did you find out she was you in the first place? If you don’t mind me asking that is?” inquired Fluttershy while resting a comforting hand on Sunset’s shoulder.
“Well, it kind of has to do with our little adventure at the movie studio. You see…”
The night before…
Sunset drummed her fingers impatiently on her knees while she waited for her ancient laptop to finish booting up.
“Finally!” she exclaimed once the outdated hardware reached her home screen. With a few clicks, she loaded the Eris app and logged in. A fond smile spread across her lips as she checked her friend list and saw that her favorite User was online. She clicked on the private messaging button and sent off a quick greeting.
Shimmytotheleft: Hey Des, how’s the Daring Do Convention going?
Sunset began drumming her fingers again as she waited for a response. She did not have to wait long.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: Hey Shimmy, it's been pretty fun. I even got to meet Chestnut Magnifico. Of course, that’s when things kind of took a turn towards weirdsville.
Sunset smirked at this. Given all that had happened to her and her friends over the past year and a half, what a normal person thought was weird was not even a blip on her radar anymore.
Shimmytotheleft: Weird how exactly?
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: Well, for one thing, she seemed to know who I am.
Shimmytotheleft: That’s not that surprising, I mean you’re the most active member of the community, besides D00mPrism anyway.
Sunset leaned back against her bed’s headboard and stretched out her legs. Reaching over to her bedside table she grabbed an opened can of Tantrum and took a sip. She replaced the can and frowned. Des was taking longer than normal to respond.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: No, I mean she used my RL name and was all like “Hey I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Where are your friends?”. But that wasn’t the weirdest part of it all. Remember when you told me about how the director let you and your friends on the set as thanks for helping to save that camp he used to go to and you guys stopped his niece from sabotaging it? He gave you guys background parts right?
Sunset frowned. An odd sensation of butterflies was beginning to build up in her stomach. Wherever Des was going with her line of questioning Sunset was not sure, but she had the sneaking suspicion that she was not going to like where it ended.
Shimmytotheleft: Okay, yeah that is weird and I do remember telling you about that. It was a pretty crazy adventure especially when that one PA shoved us all into Power Pony costumes. We got to keep them though which was cool. Why do you ask?
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: Because Chestnut seems to be under the impression that I was there for that. I thought she was just pranking me for whatever reason, but then she showed me one of the posters she was giving out and guess what? My face was on it.
If Sunset had been drinking anything she would have ruined her laptop. Her mind locked up and her fingers froze over her keyboard. How in the name of Celestia’s flaming left teat was she supposed to respond to this revelation?
Shimmytotheleft: What do you mean?
Apparently acting oblivious was the way to go. Des’s response was almost immediate.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: What do you mean what do I mean?! How could I not have been any clearer than that!? MY. FACE. WAS. ON. THE. POSTER! Someone out there knows who I am and for whatever fucking reason, they think I’m part of your group of friends! For all I know you’re in on this!
Sunset recoiled from her screen as if she had been slapped. The butterflies in her stomach had caught on fire and turned into molten lead. This was not happening, this could not be happening. Her crush was herself! How was she even supposed to process that? How was she going to explain this to Des? After all, how does one explain to their crush that they were them from an alternate world? Tentatively she leaned back towards her screen and began to type.
Shimmytotheleft: Okay Des just calm down. I can explain.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: It better be a damn good explanation Shimmy.
Shimmytotheleft: Alright if I’m reading this right then I’m guessing your RL name is Sunset Shimmer. If that’s the case then the reason Chestnut knows your name is because she thought you were me. That picture on the poster? That’s a picture of me.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: Bullshit! You really expect me to believe that you just happen to look like me and have my same name or something?! What kind of identity theft scam are you trying to run here?!
Sunset sighed and took a deep breath to calm her raging emotions. Dealing with the existential horror of realizing you just happened to be crushing on an alternate universe version of yourself was not how Sunset planned on spending the night. On top of that, Des thought she was a thief trying to steal her identity. Could one even steal one's own identity? She shook her head to clear it of these disturbing thoughts. When that did not work she grabbed her can of soda and chugged the rest of it wishing it was alcohol instead. Now fueled by neigh illegal amounts of caffeine, Sunset cracked her knuckles and began to type once more.
Shimmytotheleft: Alright I know this is going to sound a little weird and maybe a little wild, but bear with me okay? My name really is Sunset Shimmer and I look like you because, well, I am you. I’m just not from around here. In fact, I’m you from another dimension.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: You’ll have to forgive me if I find your multiverse explanation to be complete bullshit.
Shimmytotheleft: I don’t know what else to tell you. It’s the truth. I honestly did not know you were my counterpart in this world until now. I always thought you were dead or something since I never found anything about you in Canterlot City.
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: Gee thanks and for your information I live in Baltimare. If you had bothered to look beyond that dump of a city you would have known.
Shimmytothleft: Why are you telling me that? I thought you believed me to be an identity thief?
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: I just found your Mystable page and unless you’re a God of Photoshop the evidence is kinda hard to ignore. There’s also the fact that most of these posts were up well before anyone ever heard of me. Still find it hard to believe that you’re from a different dimension though.
Sunset let out a sigh of relief. At least Des had calmed down some. Maybe she could salvage this.
Shimmytotheleft: Yeah, I’m no Photoshop God. My idea of Photoshop is printing pictures off phones, cutting them apart, gluing them together, and photocopying them. Trust me on the dimension thing. How else are you going to explain it?
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: Coincidence maybe? Even with how varied our genetics our there has to be at least one person out there who looks like me and Sunset is kind of a popular name. I’d rather believe that than think of how weird it is that an alternate version of myself has been crushing on me.
Sunset was glad she did not have any Tantrum left. She lacked the funds to replace a fried laptop.
Shimmytotheleft: How did you know?!
Gr0ss1y Incandescent: You’re not exactly subtle Shimmy. Anyway, Doppelganger or not, this is still hurting my brain trying to process this. Besides, I think this is something that should be discussed in person especially considering your feelings for me. The World’s not going to explode or something if we meet right?
Shimmytotheleft: Well it didn’t happen when the Twilight of my world met this world’s Twilight. So, are you saying you want to meet me in person?
Gr0sss1y Incandescent: There are two versions of one of your friends running around? Wait, you know what? I don’t want to know. And yeah, I do want to meet you face to face so I can see what’s going on with my own eyes at the very least. I’m done with everything here anyway. I can be in Canterlot tomorrow afternoon. Where’s a good time and place to meet up? Oh, and I’m bringing John Henry with me so if there really is something fishy going on you’re getting kneecapped.
Sunset had to suppress the excited squeal that Des wanted to meet her. Even if it was weird that she was about to meet herself and a little worried that she had just threated her with physical violence. This conversation still had gone better than she had expected.
Shimmytotheleft: That sounds great and don’t worry there’s no trick. So, the best place to meet up is this great little café called Sugarcube Corner…
Present…
“So yeah I’m supposed to meet her here in a little bit,” Sunset concluded her tale.
“Um, who’s John Henry?” asked Fluttershy.
“That’s what she calls her Ban Hammer,” Rainbow informed them.
“Isn’t that just an Internet term?” Twilight questioned with raised eyebrows.“How would she kneecap someone with a metaphorical hammer?”
“Because ol’ John’s not just a metaphor,” a very familiar voice answered from behind them. The girls turned as one and all their eyes widened in shock. Standing just inside the doorway was another Sunset Shimmer. She was dressed much like their Sunset had back during her Queen Bitch days and held loosely at her side was a massive sledgehammer.
“Des!” Sunset exclaimed happily and stood up.
“Whoa,” Des uttered and took a step back only to be stopped by the door behind her. “Okay, that’s just freaky. I mean I saw the pictures on Mystable but seeing you in person...Tartarus you even sound just like me.”
“Do you believe me now?”
“Kinda hard not to,” Des answered before turning to look at the other assembled girls. “How are you guys not freaked out seeing two copies of your friend?”
“Eh,” Pinkie shrugged. “We’ve seen weirder.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” commented Applejack with a doff of her hat.
“How weird?”
“Magical rainbow lasers and talking puppies weird,” Rainbow deadpanned. Des could only stare at the girls in astonishment after that. Whispers began to fill the air as the other café patrons began to take notice of the second bacon head in the room. Rarity delicately cleared her throat breaking the awkward pause in the conversation before it became pregnant.
“Perhaps we should give these two some privacy to work things out,” Rarity gestured towards the door. “Shall we?”
Slowly the others stood and began to shuffle towards the door.
“Go get her Tiger!” Pinkie said giving Sunset a sultry wink and a playful punch on the shoulder before skipping after her friends. Des stepped to the side and nodded at the girls as they passed her. Rarity paused and turned to her world’s version of her friend.
“Sunset is a very dear friend to us all and she cares very deeply for you,” Rarity’s pleasant expression morphed into a glare as hard as the diamonds she often worked with. “And we would all be very upset if something were to happen to her understood?”
Des hesitantly nodded.
“Good,” Rarity’s smile returned. “As long as we have an understanding. Now have fun you two and don’t do anything Rainbow would do!”
“Hey!” Said Rainbow headed girl protested.
“Quiet you,” Applejack commanded before she grabbed Rainbow by the ear and proceeded to drag her out the door. Rarity gave their Sunset one last encouraging smile before she too left.
“Well your friends seem nice,” Des said after a few moments.
“Yeah, they are pretty great. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them,” Sunset replied. “It really is good to meet you in person even if it is kinda weird. You want to sit down?”
Her counterpart hesitated for a moment before she strode forward and took the seat opposite her.
“So, you really are me, but from another dimension?”
“Yep.”
Des hesitated for a moment while she tried to get her thoughts in order. “So how did you get here?”
“I came through a magic portal in the base of the Wondercolts’ Statue at Canterlot High.”
“And magic’s involved. Of course, it is,” Des said, an edge of hysteria creeping into her voice. Sunset reached across the table and placed a hand over one of her counterparts own. Des flinched at the contact and then both of their eyes went wide. They both froze with neither one daring to breathe. Several tense moments later they let out simultaneous breaths of relief when they realized that the world was not in fact ending. Des looked down at Sunset’s hand which still rested on her own.
“You can let go now.”
“Oh, sorry.” Sunset withdrew her hand with a nervous laugh. “So, are you hungry? I can’t imagine there’s much in the way of decent food between here and Baltimare.”
“I could eat,” a pause. “You’re not trying to turn this into a date are you?”
“Do you want it to be?” Sunset asked with a nervous smile.
“You know what? I think maybe I do,” Des’s own nervous expression morphed into a confident smirk. “After all, who out there is going to understand me better than myself right?”
Sunset’s beaming smile threatened to split her face.
Outside…
The remaining members of the Rainbooms had circled around the building and were now crowded together at the corner of the window that faced the table where the two Sunsets were seated.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” questioned Pinkie. “Oooh, I wish I could hear what they’re saying!”
“It looks like they just ordered lunch,” Twilight observed.
“Aww, their first date,” Rarity cooed. The others turned their heads and gave her an odd look.
“What? You cannot tell me that this is not romantic. Two lovers from separate worlds brought together by a shared passion for literature. If that is not fate saying they belong together then I don’t know what love is.”
“Rarity, they’re just having lunch together that don’t mean they’re dating,” Applejack fixed Rarity with a flat look ‘Sides, that other Sunset looked pretty freaked out to me. Ah don’t think she’d be game to be datin’ herself regardless of how much a crush Sunset’s got on the girl.”
“Applejack,” Rarity began calmly. “I love you dearly and I understand that you were raised in a barn and therefore lack the proper understanding of the subtleties of love, but if you do not let me have this than I swear on your parents’ graves that I will not hesitate to cut you.”
“Whelp Rarity’s gone nuts, does anyone want to go for pizza?” Everyone’s collective attention turned to Rainbow at her statement. “What? As much as I’d love to stick around and watch Sunset make out with herself I’m hungry. Also, I don’t want to have to explain the body when Rarity guts AJ like a fish.”
Her friends shrugged which signaled their silent agreement that yes getting food was indeed the best way to avoid having to explain a disemboweled corpse. With that, the Rainbooms pulled themselves away from the window and began to make their way to the nearest pizzeria. After several minutes of walking with a contemplative look on her face, Rainbow spoke up.
“Hey, I just thought of something. If those two really do hook up does that count as incest or masturbation?”
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So... I take it that's the Equestria Girls equivalent of the Discord server?
I needed a laugh tonight, thank you
Oof
Masterbation
that is actually a very good question.
This certainly exists
This is getting featured, I'm calling it now.
And favorite. Hope this gets featured. Fucking hilarious.
*Snicker* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This fanfic cracked me up!!!
Why would you be sorry?
Such a shame there's not more to the story.
I kinda want more of this.
Also that first sentence. Just wut
I would definitely count it as incest. The human Sunset is (presumably) the same genetically as the pony Sunset, but they've obviously had some different experiences in life (human Sunset had no god-princess to rebel against). So, they're pretty much twins with eerily similar backgrounds.
WEE HEY HEY!! now.... Y'all got my attention here...
Wow, that is a good question
8705133
Emphasis on the "master" point.
8705385
Oof
This was a very amusing read, and I would love to read more. (so long as it remains clop free with only implications)
derpicdn.net/img/2017/9/6/1529268/large.jpeg
Never apologize.
1.)
Quiet*
Also. I'm glad you're not sorry. Cause I want more of this.
That was beautiful.
...Will you marry me?8705141
you where right its featured
8705607
I call a good story when I see it.
8705611
you do indeed have a good eye
This really needs to be expanded upon. Great work!
"Remiss" means "negligent," not "angry."
you have greatly amused me. have a fav and a like.
Loved this segment more than I should have...
Incest. Like hooking up with your identical twin.
8705734
But even identical twins are not truly completely "identical" copies of each other at the the cellular level; so I say it's the second option.
Incesturbation.
sigh
All build up, little payoff. This story would have been improved by making it longer, rather than stopping short.
Oh well, still an enjoyable read.
Aragon?
Cute story, I would also have liked to see more of it though.
Edit: It might also have helped if the punchline weren't in the description.
It's not incest! It's masturbation!
8705786
Ditto. I for one would have loved to see how their conversation went.
Is that what you’re calling it now Ara?
I think we just found out who the D00mPrism is.
Funny!
Also
Quiet
8705732
I immediately quoted it to a friend
Pretty sure you meant accepted here.
That was interesting to read. I was really wanting to see Sunsets' conversation, though.
Also, it's incest. They're not the same consciousness controlling two bodies, and they share enough DNA to be related.
Everytime someone write Rainbow as a jerk I smile wider than Pinkie on a sugar high. Also, this was hilarious.
That should NOT be as funny as I find it to be
This needs to be continued.
More pleaaaseee!! This was hilarious.
I see what you did there...
Alright wow. I post this and go to work and when I get back this is in the number two spot in the featured box. Thanks guys
I’m glad you all enjoyed it.
This ended too early to be satisfying.