After sensing his mother had become distant from him for some reason, Spike decides to travel to another world to find out answers and hopefully help his sister make amends with their mother.
However, Sunset Shimmer isn't the kind of person to say sorry so easily. So Spike, with the help of a few friends and family, will try everything to bridge the divide within 30 moons.
Featured 08/06/2021
Featured again on 04/17/22
In Hiatus: Needing someone to edit it.
Cute start
8700809
Thanks. XD
Er... I think this should be kin, unless Sunset is a secret Alicorn.
This quote has a few problems with it. Even without the small grammatical errors, it just seems unnatural, and that's true of other dialogue as well. When it comes to dialogue, especially from a character like Spike who's particularly young and casual in how he speaks, contractions are your friend. "That is" should usually be "that's" and "I will" should usually be "I'll". Even with those contractions, though, it seems too stuffy and formal for someone like Spike. If I were to rewrite this entire line it would look like this:
"I guess that's what she was going to do, I forget sometimes that she controls the sun. I should probably get to bed soon but... Why do I feel so distant from her?"
It's shorter and has a more natural flow to it.
Other than the dialogue issues, I think you've got a solid idea for a story hear and I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Tracking now
8700843
Your advices are really apreciated, I will tell my friends and they will help me to fix this problems. And I'm doing my best to make this kind of first fiction. Thank you very much.
8700844
Thank you. XD
Did I miss a previous story or something? Since when is Sunset Spike's mother? I mean, I don't see an alternate universe tag.
8700917
Dammit, I forgot, be right back. Thanks for remind me.
8700917
That was a really impressive point, I thought I add it. Sorry for the incovenient and thank you for show me;
Where can I find Steadfast?
8737741
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/128757/Steadfast+Hoof
Here we go. XD
Doing alright so far.
Though maybe do some more grammar checks. Heck that's something I gotta work on. Just a little piece of advice.
I can't wait for Sunset p's reaction to Spike
8766646
Trust me, she will receive many reactions. Hehehe, but just Spike being there changed many things over Equestria girls.
That was a priceless reaction and I’m super eager to see how the sibling meeting will go.
I normally hate human stories a ton. But you're my friend so I'll give this, and only this story a shot. It's weird to think of Sunset and Spike as siblings but to each their own. Moving on.
I half expected Rarity to send Spike to the cops. Then I forgot they have magic in the human world. I think. I've only seen the first movie. I'm not surprised that Pinkie knows about Equestria. Very great job. Very eager to see how this goes.
9941303
Thanks dude, I know many people don't like that kind of version of EG, but I prefer Spike as human and I hated Spike being a dog, so that's the main reason.
And for them being siblings, both Momlestia stories, always did 2 versions, Sunset is her daughter, or Spike is her son. In my mind, if Momlestia exists, so both of them should be siblings. LoL
9941321
Thanks dude, I've already have some chapters at google docs, but I've been waiting to someone to help me to edit since a year. Sorry but the fiction is a bit stuck in a momment.
9941514
I hate that to. I hate how all artifacts just shit on dragons, first the mirror then the pearl like what the buck?! And fair point. I'll always go with Spike and Momlestia even if it's minor but that's just me. Never cared for Sunset but that's just me.
9941515
I have an editor group I follow on my profile that might be able to help.
9942385
Cool, can you give me the link? I may need to find someone to help to edit it.
9942490
Just go to my profile and you should see the editor and proofreader group.
Why is this story already on hiatus?
10556877
Because I don't know when the next chapter will be released, it can be a few months, or in the next year.
Ok now this is my favourite story of yours. Please update soon
10919257
I'm really glad you enjoy it. Actually this story is in a slow process of writing, is something I like to write but I need a long time for make everything right chapter after chapter
Wow, amazing development of the story, i wonder if Spike go to Canterlot High, he could be in the same class with the CMCs, and what will happen if Cadence meet the Human Cadence (well, it seems dangerous).
Also, im glad to this new chapter, thanks.
10929448
The human Cadance is on the third movie, so it will not be possible for they encounter each other during this and next season.
Woooow, amazing, i really like where this story goes, please keep the good work and i wish you luck
Would you update this???
11029687
I have an update, however, not the way you expect. Since I'm with writers block on this one. But to cheer you up. Here is the new update.
media.discordapp.net/attachments/315249971551141888/935310733967773736/unknown.png?width=841&height=473
I will change the cover art soon.
11131077
Wow this is so cool.
Wow, youre back, awesome, and this was a really great chapter, i would like to see the reactions when they know Spike is a dragon.
You still don't know him and you already prejudge him AJ, but I can understand if Sunset was really as mean as she was shown in Equestria Girls.
I wonder if Rarity would act like Canon!Rarity when she initially comes across Blueblood.
11722699
Well, to be honest if she asks Blueblood for a date, she would receive the same suffering as all girls who asked bluebood for a date. A trial by fire. Which results to all the family of Blueblood laughs.
But EG Rarity wants to set up for Spike find another crush, so that would make a good way for Blueblood see her as a good comrade.